丧尸乐园（2009）

我们… 我们相依为命
We were…we were two peas.
他性格像我 笑容像我 喜好像我
He had my personality, my laugh, my appetite.
笑容
Laugh?
这时我突然明白
That’s when it hit me.
我为长久以来的糊涂而感到羞愧
I felt ashamed that it had taken me this long.
我这个有着强健心肺功能的人
Me, with the best cardio in the business.
才意识到不只我一个人在逃避现实
to realize I wasn’t the only one running from something.
来 给 吃吧
Oh, there it is. There you go.
你喜欢加糖浆 是的
Oh, you like the syrup. Yes.
好了
Okay.
我们一起用胶带做的这个钱包
We made this wallet together out of duct tape.
夺走一个人的爱子
Take away a man’s son,
他真的就一无所有了
You have truly given him nothing left to lose.
从看了泰坦尼克之后我就没这么哭过了
I haven’t cried like that since Titanic.
给你个提示
A hint.
不如试着 慢慢地吐气
Why don’t you, uh, exhale slowly,
再扣扳机
squeeze the trigger?
别让我一个人喝闷酒
Don’t make me drink alone.
好吧
Okay.
这是1997年的乔治红葡萄酒
It’s a 1997 Geor– Georges?
我没学过法语 是叫乔治·德·拉图尔吗
I never took French. Georges De Latour?
我不懂
I don’t know.
-是97年酿的吗 -是的
– Oh, it’s a ’97? – Yeah.
-那年过得不错吧 -岂止啊
– Was that a good year? – Oh, my god.
简直棒极了
It was great year. Are you kidding me?
那年我第一次看R级电影
I saw my first R-rated movie that year.
-《狂蟒之灾》 -《狂蟒之灾》
– Yeah, Anaconda. – Ah. Anaconda.
第一次纹身 海豚
Um– first tattoo, porpoise.
-真的吗 -假的
– Really? oh. – Fake.
初吻
First kiss.
和斯科蒂·林奇
Scotty Lynch.
你们试过舌吻吗
You guys used tongue?
也许
Maybe.
你嫉妒斯科蒂·林奇吗
You jealous of Scotty Lynch?
是的 我嫉妒
Uh, yes, I am. um–
其实我嫉妒你的整个1997年
Actually, I think I’m jealous of your whole 1997. uh–
让我想想 我的…
Let’s see. Mine, um, uh–
第一次看牙齿矫正医生
First orthodontist.
那混♥蛋♥给我戴了牙套
The bastard gave me headgear. yeah.
第一次考试得了B
I got my first B.
不是吧
Oh, no.
像《狂蟒之灾》一样恐怖
Frightening as Anaconda. um–
在劳技课上 其实都不能算是一门课
In wood shop, which doesn’t really count as a class anyway.
不算
No. Um…
我第一次校园舞会 谢谢
Had my first, uh, school dance. Oh, thank you.
是霍金斯舞会 所以得由女孩来选舞伴
It was a Sadie Hawkins, so girls’ choice, you know.
怎么了 没人选你吗
Ugh. What, and nobody picked you?
说了得由女孩们选舞伴嘛
It was girls’ choice.
-那些烂人 -没错
– Those bitches. – I know.
不 我不能袖手旁观 听着
No, I will not stand for this. no. you know what?
我代表所有八年级的女孩们
On behalf of all the eighth-grade girls,
来补偿你一下
I would like to make it up to you.
放松点
Relax.
斯科蒂已是过眼云烟了
Scotty’s old news.
我甚至不知道你的名字 但这感觉真的很棒
I don’t even know your name, but this is actually really nice.
在你我和《天才也疯狂》中[比尔·莫雷的电影]
You know, between you, me and “What about Bob”?
你还是挺可爱的
You’re actually kind of cute.
真的吗
You think so?
是的
Yeah.
虽然你长的不帅
I mean, you got the guts of a guppy,
但我喜欢
But I could hit that.
真的吗
Really?
或者至少给你点甜头
Or at least give you the intentional walk to first.
帮忙挪下沙发好吗
Hey, a little help moving the couch?
我们在建防御工事
Oh. we’re making a fort.
也许这样最好
Yeah. Yeah, that’s probably for the best.
-没错 -因为
– Right. – Uh, because, um,
我喜欢你
I like you,
哥伦布 但是… 但是我和我妹妹
Columbus, but, um– but, uh, my sister and I,
要不惜一切地活下去 所以…
are gonna do whatever it takes to survive, so…
我希望维琪塔只是在欲擒故纵
I was hoping Wichita was just playing hard to get,
但我发现她比我更不相信别人
But I realized she had more trust issues than I did,
当我第二天醒来时她正准备离开
When I woke up the next day and she was leaving.
你就像政♥府♥秘密实验室造出来的巨型机器人
You are like a giant cock-blocking robot,
专门破坏人家的好事
Like, developed in a secret fucking government lab.
真不敢相信我差点亲了他
I can’t believe I almost kissed him.
我们的规矩是什么
What’s our rule?
除你我之外 不相信任何人
Trust no one, just you and me.
只有你和我
Just you and me.
是的 只有你和我
Yeah. You and me.
你刚从僵尸末日里幸存下来
You have just survived the Zombie Apocalypse,
并且横穿过了半个国家
And drove halfway across the country.
现在要去哪
Where are you gonna go?
我要去太平洋游乐场
I’m going to Pacific Playland. whoo! Ha-ha.
芝麻开门
Open sesame.
这就是爱恋别人的问题所在
This is the problem with getting attached to someone.
他们一走 你就会觉得若有所失
When they leave you, you just feel lost.
有塔拉哈西陪伴并没有多大安慰
Having Tallahassee around didn’t comfort me,
只会让我觉得更孤单
It just made me feel more alone.
反正你也上不了她
Hey. You weren’t exactly gonna score, anyway.
在我进来之前也没见你把她哄上♥床♥呀
You know, you weren’t storming the trenches before I came along.
所以我不亲近任何人 因为受伤的总是自己
That’s why I don’t let people close. You only get burned.
不见得
You don’t say.
墨西哥
Mexico.
你猜在墨西哥管夹心蛋糕叫什么 洛萨玛丽诺
You know what they call twinkies in Mexico? “Low Sub Marinos”.
-这是我要去的地方 伙计 -随便你
– That’s where I’m headed, amigo. – Whatever.
-天哪 -是啊
– Oh, my god. – I know.
真好玩
This is really fun.
天哪
Oh, my god.
不会吧
Oh, no.
我要去找维琪塔
I’m going after Wichita.
读过那本书吗 《她只是不爱你》
Look, you ever read that book “She’s just not that into you?”
你不能太主动
You can’t make yourself too available.
我不在乎 行吗 我想跟她在一起
I don’t care, all right? I wanna be with her.
祝你在墨西哥玩得开心
Have fun in Mexico.
快跑 快
Come on. Hurry.
上车
Get in.
快开 快
Come on, go.
开车 快
Go, go.
数三下 一 二 三
On the count of three. one, two, three.
你没事吧 快点 起来
Uhn. You okay? Come on. Hurry, get up.
-起来 我们走 -好
– Come on, let’s go. – Yeah.
那边
There.
我不太擅长告别 所以…
Um, uh… I’m not great at farewells, so, uh,
别再出糗 你个猪头
That’ll do, pig.
这是我听过的最糟糕的告别
That’s the worst goodbye I have ever heard,
而且你还是从电影里偷学来的
And you stole it from a movie.
代我向女士们问个好
Tell the ladies I said hey.
也曾有人至爱她们
You know, their pictures were in someone’s wallet too.
上车吧 伊佛·克尼弗[著名摩托车飞人]
Hop in the car, Evel Knievel.
-咱们去坐过山车 -谢了
– Let’s go ride the roller coaster. – Thanks.
快跑
Go!
不像我印象里那么好玩了
Not as fun as I remember.
打那个控制器
Shoot the control box.
-哥伦布 -塔拉哈西
– Columbus? – Tallahassee?
这次她们真要我们拔刀相助了
I think they might actually require our assistance this time.
-系好安全带 -早系好了
– Buckle up. – Yeah. I’m way ahead of you.
不成功则成仁
Time to nut up or shut up.
该死的
Holy shit.
法则二 两发连射
Rule 2: Double Tap