丧尸乐园（2009）

我可不会跟你去什么太平洋游乐场
and I’m not going to play with you at Pacific Playland.
-别担心 你会喜欢他的 -是吗
– Don’t worry, he grows on you. – Really?
不 只会越来越糟
No. It gets worse.
我们玩”看谁不说话”游戏吧
Okay. How about we play the Quiet Game?
现在开始
Yeah? Starting now.
我一直想问
Oh, um, I have actually been meaning to ask you…
你有听过俄亥俄州哥伦布市的消息吗
Did you– did you hear anything about, uh, Columbus, Ohio?
-你从来没玩过这种游戏吗 -抱歉
– You never played the quiet game? – Sorry.
好吧 俄亥俄州哥伦布市很流行玩这个
No? Well, they’re playing it in Columbus, Ohio.
那里现在完全是座死城 已经夷为平地了
It’s a total ghost town. It’s burned to the ground.
你是哥伦布来的
You’re Columbus.
对不起
I’m sorry.
我刚没意识到那是…
I didn’t realize it was…
我已经不清楚哪个更悲惨些
I’m not sure what’s more tragic
是我家人的死 还是意识到
that my family is gone, or the realization that
我压根就没个像样的家
I never really had much of a family to begin with.
无论如何
Either way,
总不能假装只要一回家 就能找回一切
I can’t pretend that whatever I’m looking for I’ll find by going home.
我已无家可归
I have no home.
我们可以 送你一程
We can, uh, get you a ride.
你可以自己回去看看
You know, you can go see for yourself,
或者另外找个落脚点
or settle somewhere new.
好吧
Okay.
看得出来 她懂我当时的感受
I could tell she knew what I was feeling.
我们同是天涯沦落人
We were all orphans in Zombieland.
我知道去太平洋游乐场的想法很荒唐
I know this Pacific Playland thing is nuts,
但她已经很久没像个孩子一样生活了
but it’s just been so long since she got to be a kid.
是啊 在僵尸之地成长可不容易
Yeah, it’s tough growing up in Zombieland.
长大本就不易
It’s tough growing up.
到了
There.
你可以开那辆卡车
You could take that truck.
但愿你能找到要找的人
Well, I, uh, hope you find whoever it is you’re looking for.
一旦找到 就不要分离了
And don’t let go, once you do.
当时并不只因我无处可去
It wasn’t just because I had nowhere else to go.
只是那一刻我幡然醒悟
It was because, in that moment, it became clear.
有这个女孩的地方 才是我要去的地方
Wherever this girl was, that’s where I wanted to be.
找个地方停车吧 我快憋死了
Man, we’re gonna have to pull over soon. I’m feeling cooped up.
“留下买♥♥货钱” 这地方不错
“We wantum your wampum.” Yeah. That’ll work.
好吧 不过我们要干什么啊
Okay, but what the hell are we doing?
相信我 听他的没错
Just humor him. Trust me.
稍等
Hold up.
谁先走
Who wants to go first?
我很想在维琪塔面前表现自己
I really, really wanna impress Wichita,
但有悖于法则17
but it would be in violation of Rule 17,
或许是最重要的一条法则 别逞英雄
maybe the most important rule of all: Don’t be a hero.
-要不你先吧 -那我就不客气了
– Why don’t you take this one? – Don’t mind if I do.
怎么样 本周最佳僵尸绝杀吗
What do you think? Zombie Kill of the week?
离高手还有一步之遥呢
Close, but no cigar.
本周最佳僵尸绝杀之桂冠属于修女辛西娅
Zombie Kill of the week goes to sister Cynthia knickerbocker.
可怜的肉饼
Poor flat bastard.
-是香水吗 -什么
– Perfume? – What?
那个是香水吗
Is that perfume?
是古龙水
Um– it’s cologne.
我猜
I’m thinking,
应该是兰蔻香水吧
Lancome magnifique.
怎么不大声点说
Why don’t you speak up a little?
我觉得他们到圣达菲就会想念这味道了
I think they might have missed it in Santa Fe.
天哪
Oh, my god.
你想和维琪塔玩
You’re thinking about fucking Wichita.
如愿以偿了吧 过去24小时来她一直在玩我们
Wish granted. She spent the last 24 hours fucking us both.
祝你好运 小矮子
Good luck now, petunia.
好吧 请允许我向你真诚地道歉
Okay. Let me begin my three-part apology
你是个前途无量的好汉
By saying that I think you’re a wonderful human with great potential.
没事
It’s okay,
但跟你说 为比这还小的事 我都要痛下杀手
but FYI, I beat wholesale ass for a lot less than that.
-当然 -对付你 我只用四五成的力好了
– I’m sure. – You get, uh, 45 percent power.
谢了
Thank you.
来啊 再打碎一个
Yeah. Come on, break another one.
棒极了
Nice.
感觉不错吧
Doesn’t that feel good?
有时 塔拉哈西是对的 你得享受点滴小事
Sometimes, Tallahassee’s right. You gotta enjoy the little things,
就算要砸烂很多小东西又如何
even if that means destroying a whole lot of little things.
闻起来像香水嘛
Smells like perfume.
你不认识威利·尼尔森吗
You don’t know who Willie Nelson is?
不认识
No.
威利·尼尔森吗
Willie Nelson?
我不知道
Yeah, no, I don’t.
我一般早上刮胡子 有时四点半
Yeah, I shave every morning, but sometimes by, like 4:30,
我胡子下午就又长出来了
I’ll have a thing. It’s called 5:00 shadow,
但有时比平时长得还快
but sometimes I’ll get it prematurely.
这是高速公路 所以你可以开到65码
Since it’s a freeway, you can get it up to, like 65,
但别超过75码
but don’t go more than 75.
最好连20码都别超过
You don’t wanna go more than 20.
别担心盲点
Don’t worry about a blind spot.
盲点是其他司机考虑的
Blind spots are for other drivers.
我又不是第一次开车
It’s like the first time that I have ever driven.
你平时不系安全带还是
So do you never strap in or
因为开长途车才不系
it’s just on long road trips?
只因这里到处是僵尸
It’s just, you know, there’s zombies everywhere.
所以我最不需要担心的…
I think the least of my worries
-有道理 -就是安全带了
– Yeah, that’s true. – Is seat belts.
是啊 不过她可不是
Yes, but, no, she’s not.
她只有带了假发化身汉娜·蒙大拿
She’s only famous when she’s Hannah Montana,
才出名的
when she’s wearing the wig.
-好吧 得戴假发 -所以…
– Okay. Right. Only wig. – So…
感觉轻松多了
It’s kind of freeing.
好久没这么开心了
For the first time in a long time, we were having fun.
尽管与我们的生存法则大相径庭
So even though it ran counter to our survival strategies,
我们还是决定一起到太平洋游乐场
We decided to stay together as far as Pacific Playland.
我觉得睡眠不足
You know, I think sleep deprivation is, like,
是美国人♥民♥首要健康问题
the number one health problem in America.
我觉得现在这只能是二号♥问题了
Heh-heh. Well, now I think it might be number two.
二号♥
Number two.
你够可爱了
That’s adorable.
我们得找个地方歇歇
I’m just saying I think we should find a place to crash.
我有个主意
Oh, I got an idea.
我们既然来了好莱坞 就要睡得气派
We’re in Hollywood, let’s sleep in style.
弄张地图过来
Grab a map.
快点
Come on.
快 快
Hurry! Hurry!
干得好
Good job.
好像电影明星都住这个街区吧
Looks like anyone who’s ever been in a movie lives on this block.
要不然我们来比弗利干什么 娘娘腔
What exactly you think we’re doing in the 90210, Sally?
还以为汤姆·克鲁斯住的更豪华呢
I kind of pictured Tom Cruise living somewhere nicer.
比我想到的地方差一个档次 伙计们
B-lister compared to who I got in mind, folks.
我们要去最最豪华的地方
We’re going to the tippy-top of the A-list.
-谁住的 -到时候就知道了
– Who? – You’ll see.
有个大写的BM字样
Hey. There’s a big BM.
那不会是鲍勃·马里
And it ain’t Bob Marley.
这地方太炫了
This place is incredible.
女士们先生们 欢迎来到莫雷的豪♥宅♥
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to La Mansion De Murray.
比尔·莫雷 天哪 难以置信
Ah. Bill Murray. God, no way.
他最能让我发笑了
This guy has a direct line to my funny bone.
-所有 -等等 谁是比尔·莫雷
– Everything – Wait. Who’s Bill Murray?
我可从没动手打过孩子
Hey, I have never hit a kid before.
这个问题就像问甘地是谁一样弱智
All right? I mean, that’s like asking who Gandhi is.
甘地是谁
Who’s Gandhi?
她才12岁
She’s 12.
-没有夹心蛋糕 -见鬼
– No twinkies. – Shit, fuck!
早知如此就该听我的去拉塞尔·克劳家
See? I told you we should have gone to Russell Crowe’s.