是, 大臣 圣诞特别篇
党派之戏
伯纳 有急事吗?我得批完这些国防部报告
Bernard, is it important? I must finish these Defence papers.
恐怕这事更紧急 大臣 什么事?
This is more urgent, Minister. What is it?
您的圣诞卡 大臣 不能再拖了
Your Christmas cards can’t be postponed any longer.
要怎么签? 都标明了 大臣
Eugh. Which is which? They’re labelled.
这些签吉姆 这些签吉姆哈克
These you sign Jim; these Jim Hacker
这些签吉姆和安妮 这些签安妮与吉姆哈克
these Jim and Annie; these Annie and Jim Hacker;
这些签爱你的安妮和吉姆 这些呢?
these Love from Annie and Jim. And those?
这些是印好的 不用签 只要过目一下
those have cyclostyled signatures so you needn’t write anything.
检查有没有哪些需要亲笔签吉姆或吉姆哈克
Make sure none of them should have been personally signed Jim
或吉姆和安妮或安妮与吉姆哈克
or Jim and Annie or Annie and Jim Hacker
或爱你的安妮和吉姆
or Love from Annie and Jim.
那些呢? 那是给选民的
What about those? Constituency cards
您的竞选代理早上送来的
Your agent left them.
您看它们也分好了 这些签吉姆
As you see, they’ve been divided up. Those you sign Jim;
这些签吉姆哈克 这些…
those Jim Hacker; those Jim and…
多谢 伯纳 我明白了
Thank you, Bernard! I think I’ve got the gist.
就这些吗? 政党总部还有
Is that it? Apart from the ones at Party headquarters.
政党总部?去年我可没签
Party HQ? I didn’t do those last year.
去年您不是党主席
You weren’t Party Chairman last year.
唉 这张非寄不可吗?
Oh. Do I have to send this one?
怎么? 给莫里斯 欧共体的
Why not? It’s to Maurice in Brussels.
就是他硬要推行欧洲香肠标准化计划
He forced through the plan to standardise the Euro sausage.
欧洲香肠?
Euro sausage?
明年咱们就得跟老英国香肠说再见
Next year we’ll be waving goodbye to British sausage,
被迫引进那些外国垃圾
forced to accept some foreign muck
意大利蒜肠 德国泥肠之类
like salami or bratwurst or something.
他们不能不让我们吃英国香肠啊
They can’t stop us eating the British sausage!
他们不让我们叫它香肠
It’ll be called the
改叫”乳化高脂杂碎筒”
emulsified high-fat offal tube!
您就吞下去啦?
And you swallowed it?
我有责任推行欧共体政策嘛 这下我算毁了
It’s my job to implement EEC regulations.
干吗跟我们的香肠过不去? 你不读报吗?
What they got against our sausage? Don’t you ever read the papers?
我瞟了一眼 大臣 没能读下去
I glanced at it, but it rather put me off.
显然 他们嫌里面肉不够
Apparently, there’s not enough meat in it.
“常规英国香肠含有32.5%脂肪 6.5%猪皮”
“The average British sausage consists of 32.5% fat, 6.5% rind,
“20%清水 10%面包干”
“20% water, 10% rusk
“5%调料 色素和防腐剂”
5% seasoning, preservative and colouring
“仅含有26%肉类”
“and only 26% meat,
“主要包括软骨 头部 下脚料”
“which is mostly gristle, head meat, other offcuts
“以及机械脱骨肉渣”
“and mechanically-recovered meat…
“以蒸汽从畜体上剥离”
“…steamed off the carcasses.”
我觉得有点…我今天…
I don’t feel particularly… I had one…
我今天早餐吃了一根
I had one for breakfast.
也许欧共体专员说得对
Perhaps the EEC commissioner is right.
就算对 选民也不爱听
He may be, but it’ll be extremely unpopular with the voters.
算了 我们只好决不松口 反咬回去
We shall just have to grit our teeth and bite on the bullet.
如果您不松口 就没法反咬回去 因为…
You can’t bite a bullet when gritting your teeth If you do that…
对不起
Sorry.
对了伯纳 你得告诉我
By the way, you were going to advise me
给助理办公室送什么礼物
what presents to get for the private office.
随您便 大臣 助理秘书送雪利酒
That’s up to you. Bottles of sherry for the assistant secretaries,
日程秘书和通信秘书送大盒薄荷糖
large boxes of mints for the diary secretary
其余人送小盒薄荷糖
and small boxes of mints for the rest.
我的私人秘书呢? 哦 那是我
What about my Personal Private Secretary? That’s me.
啊 对 我要送你什么? 您不用送我东西
Ah, yes, of course You don’t have to give me anything.
我知道 伯纳 可我乐意送 哦 大臣
I know, but I’d like to. Oh, Minister…
随便 什么都行 比方说?
Well, anything, really. Such as?
这个 我比较喜欢惊喜
Well, really I would like a surprise.
要给你什么惊喜?
What sort of surprise should I give you?
按惯例 一瓶香槟酒就很惊喜
A bottle of champagne is the customary surprise.
我几点和汉弗莱开会? 这个取消了 大臣
What time is my meeting with Humphrey? That’s been cancelled.
汉弗莱爵士和内阁秘书有个紧急会议
Sir Humphrey had an urgent meeting with the Cabinet Secretary.
内阁秘书 总让我紧张
The Cabinet Secretary. Always makes me feel rather nervous.
可以说 阿诺德爵士是全国最有权力的人
Sir Arnold is the most powerful chap in the country.
首相常任秘书 控制内阁议程 一切尽在掌握
controls Cabinet agenda, controls access to everything.
他有什么事?
I wonder what he’s up to?
对了 汉弗莱 什么?
By the way, Humphrey… Yes?
我决定提前退休
I’ve decided to retire early.
真的 阿诺德?
Oh! Have you, Arnold?
就定在新年
In the New Year.
啊
Ah…
我的接♥班♥人面对政♥治♥家得立场坚定
My successor has to be firm with our political masters.
当然 这一点不能含糊
Absolutely. No nonsense with that lot!
还得讲策略 可不是
But tactful… Exactly.
温和 迷人 老练… 尤其要可靠
Suave, charming, emollient… And above all, sound.
可靠? 对了 可靠
Sound? Oh, yes, sound.
因此 我有责任为首相举荐
So my duty is to convey a recommendation to the Prime Minister
全面符合这些条件的常任秘书
the Permanent Secretaries best meets these stringent criteria.
那么 这个…
And, er…
你…这个…现在有没有…
…Have you, er… Er, er, is there, er… Does anyone, er…
你看 这行的真谛不在于找对答案
You see, in this job, the problem isn’t really finding the answers
而在于找对问题
it’s finding the questions.
看谁能找出最关键的问题
We need the man who can find the key question.
对了 阿诺德 换个话题
By the way, Arnold, to change the subject completely,
你退休之后打算干什么? 啊 非常好的问题
what will you be doing when you retire? Ah, very good question!
问得好 也许有工作要你做
Very good question. There might be jobs you could pick up,
继续为国效力 不管你的接♥班♥人是谁
ways you could serve the country, which your successor
他能给你安排…呃…说服你接受
could put your way er, persuade you to undertake!
我确实有些打算 你看
I had been giving it some thought
有人请我做西方银行的董事长
I’ll be chairman of the Banque Occidentale
IBM和英国石油也有我一席
and there’ll be directorships of IBM and BP and so on.
不过我想… 如何?
But I was thinking… Yes?
皇家剧院基金会明年要选主席了
The Chairmanship of the Opera House will be coming up
剧院基金会主席… 还有牛津大学名誉校长
Chairman of Covent Garden… And the chancellorship of Oxford.
英格兰银行副长一职也很…
The deputy chairmanship of the Bank of England would be a…
有挑战性? 挑战性 没错
…A challenge? A challenge, exactly.
还有国安委员会主席
And head of the Security Commission.
英国－加勒比协会会长更是…
The Anglo-Caribbean Association would give one…
造福大众的机遇
…a chance to be of service.
正是
Precisely!
尤其在冬天
Especially during the winter months.
我看合格的接♥班♥人一定能安排妥当 阿诺德
I’m sure any successor worth his salt could arrange these.
你这么想?那我总算放心了
Do you think so? That’s very reassuring, very reassuring.
还有另一件事
But there is another thing.
有人对首相提出的建议
Certain advice one may have given the Prime Minister
如果披露出来 会遭到误解
could, if it emerged, be misinterpreted.
什么建议呢? 非常合情合理的
Er, what sort of advice? All sensible and reasonable,
关于罢♥工♥中出动军队
but advice about using troops during strikes.
为安全起见 当然要适当武装
A very sensible precaution that they should be armed,
然而建议要配机关枪…
but, taken out of context, machine guns…
哦 这种事绝对没必要披露出去
Oh, I’m sure that need never come out.
我还建议过和南非商讨恢复非洲海军基地的事
Negotiations about reactivating the Simonstown naval base.
战略上绝对无可厚非
Absolutely sensible strategically
在马岛事件中尤其有用
a great help with the Falklands,
但如果一个人要当联邦秘♥书♥长♥…
but as Secretary-General of the Commonwealth…
那就尴尬了 不消说你一定会当上联邦秘♥书♥长♥
And you will be Secretary-General of the Commonwealth.
会吗?借你吉言啰
Would I? How gratifying!
我看合格的接♥班♥人一定能妥善保管这些文件
And the right successor would keeping those files under wraps.
很好
Good.
那么 话说回去
Anyway, to get back to our original point,
各位同仁与我都同意你就是第一候选人
My colleagues and I can placing your name top of the list.
这样啊
I see.
能否请问还有多少候选人?
May I ask how many other names will be on the list?
哦 我可找不出第二个合格的了
Oh, I don’t think there’s anyone else who’s up to scratch.
再来一杯
Have another drink.
顺便告诉你 我会出任信息自♥由♥运♥动♥主席
I’ll be the presidency of the Campaign for Freedom of Information.
信息自♥由♥?这从何说起?
Freedom of Information?! What on earth for?
反对党很欢迎 今日反对党便是明日执政党
Well, it’s very popular with the Opposition
也可以保证信息自♥由♥不被滥用
and it will mean one can ensure that the freedom is not abused.
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