世界上最伟大的父亲（2009）

当我上妓♥女♥的时候 我直接插入菊花
– What? – I stick my cock in her asshole.
什么
我用鸡鸡捅她屁♥眼♥
I got that part, but you’ve never been with a woman.
这我明白 但你从没上过女人
Fuck you.
操♥你♥妈♥
Kyle, I’m always with you. I know.
凯尔 我一直和你在一起 我知道的
No, you’re not always with me.
不对 你没有一直跟着我
– Yes, I am. – No, you’re not.
-不 我跟你在一起 -不 你没有
Loser.
失败者
Oh, you’re fucking fucked!
哦 操♥死♥你
– You’re fucking… – Let it go, Kyle. They’re not worth it.
-你♥妈♥的♥ -算了吧 凯尔 不值得的
“Aha,” yeah. That’s right, laugh it up, you fucking whores.
“哈哈” 大点声笑 你个死妓♥女♥
(Kyle moans) Don’t be shy.
不要害羞
There you go.
开始了
Ahh, yeah.
Oh.
Lance: Hey, buddy, what you doin’?
干嘛呢伙计
I’m doing my homework. What does it look like I’m doing?
做作业呢 还能干什么
Oh.
What?
怎么了
Nothing. Need a hand?
没事 要帮忙吗
You know, your report, or…
你的报告或者什么的…
No. No, it’s… no.
不 不 不用
Okay.
好吧
Hey, listen, I’m going on a date tonight.
我今晚有个约会
And if you’re hungry, I could fix you some food before I go.
如果你饿了 我可以在离开前做饭给你
You’re going on a date with who?
你要和谁约会
Well, no one’s supposed to know
不应该有人知道
because it could cause problems at school.
因为在学校里会引起绯闻
Claire.
克莱尔
Claire?
克莱尔
Do I know this claire?
是我认识的那个克莱尔
Miss Reed. Hmm?
莉德老师 是的
Really? You’re going out with the TILF, that’s great.
不是吧 你要和制♥服♥诱惑约会 不错嘛
– The what? – TILF…
-什么? -制♥服♥诱惑
– “Teacher I’d like to fuck.” – Nice mouth.
-“我想操的老师” -好词
Hey, it’s just what the other kids at school call her.
只是学校里其它同学也这么叫她
What do you think about Miss Reed?
你觉得莉德老师怎么样
Well, she’s got a hot body, helmet’s okay.
她的身材很辣 屁♥股♥也不错
– Do her from behind. – Hey, come on now!
-从后面干♥她♥ -嘿 打住吧
Kyle, when did you become such a pervert?
凯尔 你什么时候变得这么猥琐了
You sound like your uncle Pete.
讲话像你皮特舅舅
There’s more to a woman than that.
女人不只是如此
What do you think about her personality?
你没有想过她的人格吗
Oh, um, nah.
She’s pretty stuck-up and she’s a phony.
她很自大 爱骗人
Why do I even tell you these things?
我为啥告诉你这些事
(phone beeps)
(ringing)
– Hello? – Hey.
-你好 -嘿
– Hi. – We still on for some vittles?
-嗨 -我们一起吃晚饭吗
Oh, I’m so sorry I didn’t call you sooner.
哦 我很抱歉没早点打给你
My mother is having a nervous breakdown.
我妈精神崩溃了
Her dog got burnt by a hair crimper.
她的狗被卷发器烫到了
They were playing fetch or something… she’s fucking bananas.
他们在玩兜圈圈什么的
Ahh.
她快崩溃了
I’m so sorry about tonight.
今晚上我非常抱歉
You’re not mad, are you?
你没生我的气吧
Mmm, not at all.
嗯 一点没有
Okay, good night, cupcakes.
好吧 晚安 杯式蛋糕
Good night, watermelon sherbet.
晚安 西瓜果冻
? When I get high ?
当我嗨了以后
? This world’s so nice ?
世界多美好
? When I get high ?
当我嗨了以后
? It’s paradise… ?
好似在天堂
(woman coughing)
Your pot smells like shit.
你的烟味太呛人了
– Oh. Oh, sorry. – That’s okay.
-哦 抱歉 -没关系
– Would you like some? – Are you kidding?
-你想来一支吗 -开什么玩笑
– I can barely breathe. – (inhaler spurts)
-我都快窒息了
Oh, I’m really sorry. Oh.
哦 我实在抱歉
(coughing)
However,
但是
if you were to offer me some pot brownies,
如果你送我些核桃巧克力饼
I wouldn’t say no.
我也不会拒绝
– Really? – Yeah.
-真的吗 -是的
Tonight when you’re getting changed,
今晚你换衣服的时候
would you mind pulling your bedroom drapes?
可不可以把窗帘拉上
Why?
为啥
I think my son watches you.
我感觉我儿子偷♥窥♥你
Get out of here.
得了吧
No no. I think he watches you change.
我觉得他偷♥窥♥你换衣服
Your son?
你儿子
Mm-hmm.
还以为他是个僵尸呢
I thought he was a zombie.
I wish. I like zombies.
我倒希望 我喜欢僵尸
Oh, yeah, you do? Me too. I do.
真的吗 我也喜欢
– Really? – Yeah.
-真的吗 -是的
Oh, I like the early zombie movies like “Night of the Living Dead.”
我喜欢早期的僵尸电影
– Me too. – Oh, yeah, don’t watch that one alone.
《活死人之夜》
我也喜欢
是啊 不要自己单独看哦
– I don’t like the new ones. – No.
-我不喜欢新拍的 -不喜欢
– Zombies are too fast, you know? – Yeah, too fast. Yeah.
-僵尸跑的太快了 -是的 太快了
I believe, like Simon Pegg said, that death is an impediment,
我相信西蒙·佩格所说的”死亡是一种阻碍
not an energy drink.
不是能量饮料”
(laughing)
(funk music playing)
What you doing?
你干嘛呢
Jesus, Dad. You almost made me crap.
上帝啊 你差点把我吓出屎来 爸
Did you get your homework done?
作业写完了吗
Yeah, a long time ago.
早写完了
Yeah.
很好
– Yeah. – What…
-很好 -怎么了
are you stoned?
你是不是嗨了
No.
没有
Seriously, you smell like pot. Are you smoking pot?
说真的 你浑身烟味 你抽大烟了吗
– No. – You can tell me.
-没有 -你可以告诉我
– No. – You’re not using grass?
-没有 -你不是抽大♥麻♥了吧
No, you don’t use grass. No.
-没有 你没有吸大♥麻♥吧 -没有
Then what’s… what’s that smell?
那是什么 什么味道
What smell?
什么味道
It’s probably a skunk outside or something, you know.
可能是因为外面的臭鼬还是什么
Oh yeah, sure, a skunk.
没错啊 臭鼬
Hey, you know what?
你知道吗
Why don’t we do something together tomorrow?
我们明天可以一起出去玩点什么
Why? ‘Cause you feel bad?
为什么 你感到不爽了
Yeah. No.
是 不是的
I mean, it’d be just fun to do something together, you know?
我是觉得一起做点什么很有意思
– Okay. – Mmm.
好吧
Yeah. Yeah, like build a rocket.
对啊 就像建造火箭
Sure, if you want to.
你想的话当然可以
That’s retarded.
那简直是弱智
Yeah.
没错
– What do you want to do? – Nothing.
是啊
-你想要做什么 -啥都不想
Oh, come on now, Kyle, you must be passionate about something.
说说嘛 凯尔
– You want to know what I like? – Yeah.
你肯定有热爱的东西
– I like looking at vaginas… – Ahh.
-你想知道我喜欢什么 -是啊
-我喜欢看阴♥道♥ -这样
…all day long.
看一整天
(laughs)
– There you go. – Yeah.
-你知道了吧 -是啊
But maybe do something non-vagina related.
我们也许可以做点和阴♥道♥没关系的事
You know, outside the vagina.
就是 阴♥道♥外面的世界
Okay, uh, we could go to the mall.
好吧 我们可以去商场逛逛
Okay. And then we’ll catch a movie.
好啊 之后我们还可以看场电影
Yeah, sure, at the mall, you know?
行 就在商场
And then we’ll maybe look for a new computer.
我们还可以看看新的电脑