Now, Officer, if this is about Abigail…
我来给你带话了 小子
I got a message for you, pal.
不准在我们镇上卖♥♥巧克力
Do not sell chocolate in this town!
听懂了
You got it?
我好像没听清楚
Not really, I’m afraid.
你居然敢跟我顶嘴 臭小子
Oh, so you got a mouth on you, huh, Candy Man?
我说
I said…
不准卖♥♥巧克力
Don’t sell chocolate!
这回听清楚了吗?
You hear me that time?
我耳朵里全是水
I have water in my ears.
也是
Yeah, that… You’ve…
好吧 有道理
Okay, that makes sense. Yeah.
听着
Listen,
我很抱歉
I’m sorry.
我现在脑子有点乱
I’m all outta whack.
说真的
Truth is,
我也不想这么对你
I don’t wanna be doin’ this.
我没让你这么对我
I don’t want you to be doing this.
不过我还是得警告你
But I still gotta give ya a message.
再来镇上卖♥♥巧克力
Sell chocolate in this town again,
就不只是挨一棍的事了
you’re gonna get more than a bonk on the head.
我没挨棍子
I don’t have a bonk on the head.
我今天是怎么了?
What is with me today? I…
请稍等我一下
Can you give me just a second?
当然
Sure.
布利奇维茨爵士
Lord Bleachowitz.
斯卡碧夫人
Mrs. Scrubitt.
你的双眼像蛋奶布丁里的两颗兔子屎一样黑
Your eyes are like two rabbit droppings in a couple of bowls of custard.
你可真会花言巧语
You really do have a way with words.
一会儿楼下见
See you downstairs.
我下去了
Geronimo!
旺卡先生
Mr. Wonka.
你还知道回来
Good of you to join us.
我没迟到吧?
Not late, am I?
还没 卡着点回来的 不过
Well, no. Cutting it a bit fine, but…
小蒂认真工作了吗?
Has Tiddles been pulling his weight?
实话说 小蒂表现得很好
As a matter of fact, Tiddles has been a very good boy,
生产率提高了30%
and productivity is up 30%.
我们下午放了个假
We took the afternoon off.
那才是重点
This is the point.
别闹 拉瑞
Not now, Larry.
抱歉
Sorry.
重点是 你们去哪里了?
The point is… Where have you been?
为什么身上有股长颈鹿味?
And why do you smell of giraffe?
我来解释一下
Guess I owe you guys an explanation.
其实 我是巧克力工匠
The truth is, I’m a chocolate maker.
不是普通的那种 他的巧克力是最好的
Not just any chocolate. The best in the world.
这个
Ah, well,
小面条太夸张了
Noodle’s flattering me,
但她说得对 我是最棒的
but she’s right. They’re exquisite.
我们想靠卖♥♥巧克力 还老板娘的债
Plan is to sell chocolate and pay off Mrs. Scrubitt.
至少本来是这么打算的
At least, that was the plan, until…
让我猜猜
Oh, let me guess.
应该是警长去找你的麻烦了
You had a little run-in with the Chief of Police?
你怎么知道?
How do you know that?
不才恰巧当过斯拉沃斯的会计师
Because I was Slugworth’s accountant.
至少当过一周
For a week, at least.
他的会计当时请病假了
His regular bookkeeper was off sick.
车站 谢谢
Station, please.
我跨越半个国家被拉过去代班
And I was called halfway across the country to take his place.
晚上好 斯拉沃斯先生
Good evening, Mr. Slugworth.
我需要你在文件上签个字
I just need your signature on…
这份工作表面没什么
Seemed a straightforward job.
直到我发现 原来他有两套账本
Until I realized there were two sets of books.
一套交给税务局
One for the authorities,
另一套 才是实际的账目
and one which told the truth.
斯拉沃斯
Slugworth,
菲克鲁伯
Fickelgruber,
还有普诺德斯
and Prodnose
多年来狼狈为奸
have been in cahoots for years.
叫他们巧克力黑帮都不为过
A sort of chocolate cartel, if you will.
（巧克力大♥师♥）
他们一直在巧克力原浆里兑水
They’ve been watering down their chocolate
克扣下来的原浆
and storing the excess
存在教堂地下深处的秘密金库里
in a secret vault deep beneath the cathedral,
他们贿赂了一位神父 全天把守
guarded round the clock by a corrupt cleric
还有五百名痴迷巧克力的僧人
and 500 chocoholic monks.
想要下去 只能乘坐一部秘密电梯
The only way in is down a secret elevator,
还要通过钥匙女管家那关
and past the Mistress of the Keys.
她是他们的地下哨兵
A subterranean sentinel…
已经很多年没来到地面上了
…who hasn’t seen sunlight in years.
晚上好
Good evening.
下面有成千上万加仑的巧克力原浆
There’s thousands of gallons of chocolate down there,
巧克力黑帮用它们贿赂 勒索
and the Cartel use it to bribe, blackmail,
（用巧克力支付）
还有打击一切竞争对手
and bludgeon the competition.
就算是学生也挡我的道了 懂吗?
I do not care that they were school children… they were in our way.
下次给我踩死他
Next time, put your foot down.
邦邦女士
Miss Bon-Bon?
早上好 斯拉沃斯先生
Good morning, Mr. Slugworth.
从今天起 我要把账本放到金库里
From now on, I’ll be keeping the ledger in the vault.
好的 先生
Very good, sir.
神算子先生
Oh, and Mr. Crunch?
你被开除了
You’re fired.
好的 先生
Very good, sir.
抱歉 旺卡先生
I’m sorry, Mr. Wonka,
他们就是要让你再也翻不了身
but they’ve got you right where they want you.
不卖♥♥巧克力就没钱开店
You can’t get a shop without selling chocolate,
而没有店面 就卖♥♥不了巧克力
and you can’t sell chocolate without a shop.
小面条
Hey, Noodle!
小面条
Noodle! Psst!
什么事 威利?
What is it, Willy?
小心
Watch out.
你这是干什么?
What’s this for?
你的工资
Your wages.
一辈子吃不完 记得吗?
A lifetime supply, remember?
你不需要这么做
You didn’t have to do that.
当然需要 我向你保证过
Of course I did. I gave you my word.
好吧
Well,
谢谢
thanks.
我也有东西要给你
I’ve got something for you, too.
给我?
For me?
这是什么?
What’s this?
半杯水对吗?
Glass half full?
上下反了
Other way up.
倒过来的半杯水
Glass half empty.
这是A 第一个字母
It’s an “A.” Your first letter.
我在教你识字
I’m teaching you to read.
小面条
Oh, Noodle.
我总不能让老虎吃了我的搭档
Well, I can’t have my business partner eaten by a tiger.
应该说 差点吃了
Or nearly eaten.
我们还是搭档吗?
So we’re still partners?
当然 就是不知道怎么卖♥♥巧克力
Sure, but I don’t know how we’re gonna sell any chocolate.
只要警♥察♥一来 咱们就得立刻消失
Every time the police show up, you’d have to vanish into thin air.
像魔术师一样
Like a magician.
没错
Right!
对 可街道不是舞台
Yeah, but it’s one thing when you’re onstage.
绳索 滑轮和活板门 街上没有道具
You have ropes and pulleys and trapdoors. There’s none of those on the street.
你说的这些都可以有
As a matter of fact, there are.
到处都是活板门 别名叫下水道
There are trapdoors all over the city. They’re called storm drains.
让我加入的话 就带你们去看看
I’d be happy to show you around if you cut me in on the action.
你们在招人 能不能带我一个?