我与长指甲（1987）

-你什么意思？ -你很少上舞台表演
– What do you mean? – You rarely are.
你给我等着！ 给我等着！
You just wait! Just you wait!
当我攻击的时候, 他们不会知道是什么打了他们
When I strike, they won’t know what hit them.
有拖拉机来了
Tractor approaching.
现在快去跟着他 就是那个男人
Now get after him. That’s the man.
-嘿！停一停-停一停！
– Hey, stop! – Stop!
停下来,拜托！
Stop! Please!
停下来吧,拜托！ 拜托你停下来！
Stop, please! Please stop!
请你停停吧！
Please stop!
-你是这里的农民吗？ -闭嘴！让我来处理这事
– Are you the farmer? – Shut up! I’ll deal with this!
我们阴差阳错地来了这里度假
We’ve gone on holiday by mistake.
我们现在住在这个农庄里 你是这里的农民吗？
We’re in this cottage here. Are you the farmer?
别那么蠢了,长指甲 他当然就是那该死的农夫！
Stop saying that, Withnail! Of course he’s the fucking farmer!
我们是蒙塔格维夫尼尔的朋友
We’re friends of Montague Withnail.
我们现在急需一些燃料和木材
We desperately need fuel and wood.
蒙塔格维夫尼尔, 你肯定认识他的
Montague Withnail. You must know him!
一个胖胖的男人, 这个农庄的主人
Fat man, owns the cottage.
我见过一个胖男人 好像是伦敦人模样 ,看起来怪怪的
I seen a fat man. London type. Queer sort.
还以为他的名字是法国名, 或是什么政♥府♥高♥官♥
Think his name’s French, or summit.
-法国人？ -恩, 好像叫艾德里尼德拉唐奇
– French? – Aye. Adriene De La Touche.
他已经好几年没来这里啦
He ain’t been here for a couple of years.
-上次我见到他的时候 他和儿子一起 -没错,就是他了
– Last time I saw him he was with his son. – Yeah, that’s him.
听着,我们是好人, 我们都不是伦敦来的现在我们 可以要些燃料和木头了吗
Listen, we’re bona fide. We’re not from London. Could we have some fuel and wood?
我晚点时候可以给你们 弄点木头 现在我还要先喂牛
I could bring you some logs up later. I’ve got the cows to feed first.
-什么时候？ -闭嘴！那真是太好了
– When? – Shut up! That would be very kind.
那食物呢？你可不可以 卖♥♥给我们一点吃的东西？
What about food? Do you think you could sell us something to eat?
我可以给你一只鸡 但是你必须到村里去
I could bring you a chicken, but you’ll have to go to the village.
-那真是太好了, 这位先生怎么称呼-帕金
– That would be very kind, Mr… – Parkin.
帕金先生你的腿怎么了？
Mr. Parkin. What happened to your leg?
被个疯牛踏上来 往膝盖上踹了一脚
Got a randy bull up there. Give me one in the knee.
（吹口哨）
让印第安那天空的星星都闪起来
你想出去吗？ 去挖多点马铃薯好吗？
You wanna go out back? Get some spuds up?
抱歉,我做不到 我的靴子在烤箱里了
Sorry, I can’t. My boots are in the oven.
-如果你有靴子穿就去, 是不是？
– You’d go if you had boots?
当然了
Gladly.
照亮我回到你身边的路
让每个知更鸟都唱起歌♥
一个旋律就有了双重意义
因为在我，心里, 还有一首爱之歌♥
一首我渴望已久, 要唱给你听的歌♥
-我有一双！ -“我怎样才能找到”
– I’ve got one!
我一直追寻的东西
难怪他们都否认了
我要寻找的快乐
就在你身边
所以,请等着我吧, 印第安那
这长长的一天就过去了
-太好了, 我们该给你多少钱呢？ -等你到村里来的时候再给钱吧
– Great. How much do we owe you? – Pay us when you come down.
-那这只鸡呢？ -它在背上
– What about this chicken? – He’s on the back.
照亮我回到你身边的路
长指甲,长指甲
With. With.
帕金来过了 我们有晚饭吃了
Parkin’s been. There’s our supper.
-我们该怎么处理那只鸡呢？ -吃掉
– What are we supposed to do with that? – Eat it.
-吃掉？ 这东西还是活生生的呢
Eat it? The fucker’s alive.
-这当然,我知道， 你给宰掉吧-我来？
– Yeah, I know that. You’ve gotta kill it. – Me?
-我生了火又弄到了燃料 -没错我知道， 但是我搬木材进来的
– I’m fire lighter and fuel collector. – Yeah, I know that, but I got the logs in.
光看着那东西就觉得倒胃口了
It takes away your appetite looking at it.
不,一点也不, 我都快饿死了
No, it doesn’t. I’m starving.
-我们怎么才能弄死它？ -宰了它
– How can we make it die? – You have to throttle them.
我想在它成为 我们的朋友之前 你最好掐死它
I think you should strangle it instantly, in case it starts to make friends with us.
好吧，抓住它， 你把它拿低点, 我来掐死它
All right, get hold of it. You hold it down. I’ll strangle it.
我做不到， 它的眼睛太吓人了 盯得你，心里直发慌
I can’t. Those dreadful, beady eyes. They stare you out.
这是只该死的鸡！ 只要想着 把熏肉放在它的背上…
It’s a bloody chicken! Just think of it with bacon across its back.
好吧, 我来把它处理掉
All right, I’ll deal with this.
你要把它的肠子掏出来
You’ll have to get its guts out.
不要用枪指着人, 这很危险的
Never point guns at people! It’s extremely dangerous.
这个烤盘怎么办？ 我们在里面烤些什么？
What about this roasting dish? What are we gonna cook it in?
你是负责食物和烹饪的人, 我不知道怎么用, 我一小时之前 就想搞懂这个该怎么用了
You’re the food and plumbings man. I have no idea. I wish I’d found this an hour ago.
我用枪杀了这只小鸡
I’d have taken great pleasure in gunning this pullet down.
-它的毛不是该拔得更干净点吗？ -不,不用了
– Shouldn’t it be more bald than that? – No, it shouldn’t.
好吧，我们把位置调换一下
Right. We’re gonna have to reverse the roles.
我们可以用烤箱来烤马铃薯…
We can bake the potatoes in the oven…
我们可以在火上烤这只鸡
and we can boil this bastard over the fire.
-我们来把鸡脚斩下来吧-不
– Let’s get its feet off. – No.
它应该保留双脚的
It’s gonna need its feet.
这样的话它就可以站在上面了
It can stand with its legs on either side of that.
我已经放了两个先令
I’ve already put two shilling pieces in.
不行,我没有多余的硬币了
No, I haven’t got another.
如果这系统出了 什么问题问题 那可不是我的错
It’s not my fault if the system doesn’t work.
这该死的贱♥人♥挂我电♥话♥
The bitch hung up on me.
嗨！你好吗？
Hello? How are you?
很好
Very well.
啊什么？ 为什么他们不原意见我呢？
A what? Why wouldn’t they see me?
真是荒谬
This is ridiculous.
我已经三个月没有工作了！
I haven’t been up for a job in three months!
帮康斯坦丁做替身？ 我才不去给康斯坦丁做替身呢
Understudy Constantine? I’m not going to understudy Constantine.
为什么我不可以有个角色？
Why can’t I play the part?
真是荒谬
This is ridiculous.
不,我不在伦敦, 在潘里斯
No, I’m not in London. Penrith.
潘里斯！
Penrith!
恩,那电视那边的工作怎样？
Well, what about TV?
听着,我给你10%的佣金 来做这件事的
Listen, I pay you ten percent to do that.
那么,你就为那几个臭钱 继续给人拍马屁吧！
Well, lick ten percent of the asses for me, then!
听到吗？听到吗？听到吗？
Hello? Hello? Hello?
什么？你怎么敢这么说话！ 去你的！
Hello? How dare you? Fuck you!
（砸电♥话♥）
那贱♥人♥叫我在“海鸥”里 做康斯坦丁的替身
The bastard asked me to understudy Constantine in The Seagull.
我不想做任何人的替身 尤其是那拉皮条的
I don’t want to understudy anybody, especially that little pimp.
不管怎么说,我就是 讨厌那些俄♥罗♥斯♥戏剧
Anyway, I loathe those Russian plays.
总是有各种各样的女人 花枝招展地站在窗前
Always full of women staring out of windows,
招来那些要去莫斯科的男人
whining about ducks going to Moscow.
你觉得德斯蒙沃夫怎样？
What do you think of Desmond Wolfe?
-关于哪方面？ -我在考虑改名
– In respect of what? – I’m thinking of changing my name.
听起来太像唐纳德沃夫特
It’s too like Donald Wolfit.
换一下
Changeover point.
-你觉得他比我们快乐吗？ -不
– Think he’s happier than us? – No.
我认为快乐是相对的
I suppose happiness is relative.
我认为世界上 所有塑料袋都有一个洞
I never thought it would be a polythene bag without a hole in it.
-嘿！ -他出什么事了？
– Hey! – What’s the matter with him?
-把门关上！ -你刚才没关门！
– Shut the gate! – You didn’t shut the gate!
停住那只牛！
Stop that bull!
停住那头牛！
Stop that bull!
（牛在叫）
抓住他的鼻环 举高你的包
Grab its ring! Keep your bag up!
啊~小，心！
Out-mind him.
嘿,不要害怕, 冲过去就可以
Hey, show no fear. Just run at it.
这不是真的,是吗？ 那家伙准备要冲我奔来了
That can’t be sensible, can it? The bastard’s about to run at me!
那头牛真粗鲁是的, 我知道！
– Well, he’s randy! – Yes, I know he is!
真想下去跟那些牛做♥爱♥
Wants to get down there and have sex with those cows.
住口！ （牛还在继续叫）
Shut up!
-向它跑过去,然后大喊！ -听他说的,快喊！
– Run at it, shouting! – Do as he says, start shouting.
-他不会刺伤你的 -你真是个胆小鬼,长指甲！
– He won’t gore you. – A coward you are, Withnail!
还说是斗牛高手, 你才不是！
An expert on bulls you are not!
（大声叫喊）
（牛叫声,喊声还在继续）
关了那扇门 让它一直关着别打开！
Shut that gate and keep it shut!
我想你一阵晚都要跟 这铁门一起了
I think an evening at the Crow.
如果铁门和皇冠有生命的话, 它现在已经死了
If the Crow and Crown ever had life, it was dead now.
就好像在肺里面行走
It was like walking into a lung,
一个沾满硫磺,尼古丁的 有苍蝇卵的黄色肺部
a sulfer-stained, nicotine yellow and fly-blown lung.
这里的地主是个退休的老酒鬼 以前曾经参过军, 还为之而骄傲
Its landlord was a retired alcoholic with military pretensions…
他的脸色就跟 茶壶里面的颜色一样
and a complexion like the inside of a teapot.
当开始营业的时候, 他就成了个疯狂 喝朗姆酒的混♥蛋♥
By the time the doors opened, he was arse-holed on rum…
而且越来越像一个王八蛋
and got progressively more arse-holed…
直到他不能再喝, 到12点准时脸朝地倒下
till he could take no more
我们再来两杯威士忌酒
We’ll have another pair of large scotches.
-[收银机声音]-[呼噜声]
我想我要花一点时间
Thought I was going for a minute.
还没有人能打倒我