我与长指甲（1987）

他去了另外一个地方, 蒙蒂
He went to the other place, Monty.
噢,你去了伊钝公学？
Oh, you went to Eton?
把那个小贱♥人♥撵出去！
Get that damned little swine out of here!
[猫在尖叫]
它想进来跟你一起， 它这是得寸进尺
It’s trying to get itself in with you. It’s trying for even more advantage.
它被本能占据着 它现在就像一个橄榄球一样
It’s obsessed with its gut. It’s like a bloody rugby ball now.
-它会死的！它会死的！ -蒙蒂，蒙蒂
– It will die! It will die! – Monty. Monty.
不,不,亲爱的孩子， 你必须离开
No, no, dear boy. You must leave.
那坏家伙破坏了我的，心情
Yet again, that oaf has destroyed my day.
听着,蒙蒂， 我可以占用你几分钟吗？ 私底下说个话
Listen, Monty. Could I just have a quick word with you? In private?
哦…好
Oh… very well.
-晚安,亲爱的-晚安,蒙蒂
– Good night, my dears. – Good night, Monty.
为什么要那么秘密你为什么 告诉他我去了伊钝公学？
What’s all this going off in private business? Why did you tell him I went to Eton?
因为就算我不说,结果也一样
Because it wouldn’t have helped if I hadn’t.
我只是想试着让他了解你
I’m just trying to establish you in some sort of context he’d understand.
-你这么说是什么意思？ -我的意思是,对于那些负担 得起的人而言就如分文不花
– What do you mean by that? – I mean, free to those who can afford it.
而对那些负担不起的人 则高不可攀
Very expensive to those that can’t.
吉亨德里克斯：沿着瞭望塔
“All Along the Watchtower
肯定有办法走出去
那个爱开玩笑的人对小偷说
有太多的迷惑
我没法释怀
商人都喝我的酒
-妓♥女♥！ -闭嘴！妈的！
– Scrubbers! – Up yours, Granddad!
-妓♥女♥！ 妓♥女♥！ -闭嘴！
– Scrubbers! Scrubbers! – Shut up!
小妓♥女♥,她们喜欢被这么称呼
Little tarts. They love it.
我在忙着把这东西弄安静点
I’m trying to drive this thing as quietly as possible.
如果你们不闭嘴, 我就把你们送到警♥察♥局去！
If you don’t shut up, we’ll get stopped by the police.
-把那瓶子给我-看！看
– Give me the bottle. – Look at that. Look at that.
“交通事故多发地段，” 这里根本没事故啊！
“Accident black spot. ” These aren’t accidents!
他们现在找不到路在瞎摸了， 太好了！
They’re throwing themselves into the road! Gladly!
为了避开所有不好的事 他们只能在这条路上瞎摸了
Throwing themselves into the road to escape all this hideousness!
认真点看好路,亲爱的
Throw yourself into the road, darling!
我根本没办法！
You haven’t got a chance!
在我们中间有很多人
他们觉得生命就是一场玩笑
但你和我, 我们都经历了那些事
这个不是我们的命运
所以让我们现在停止抱怨吧
时间晚了
嘿
有时候, 我想停下来抓个小孩
At some point or another, I want to stop and get hold of a child.
你为什么想要小孩？
What do you want a child for?
教育他正直做人…
To tutor it in the ways of righteousness…
弄一些童子尿
and procure some uncontaminated urine.
这是一种可以使 醉酒驾驶的司机 摆脱处罚的装置
This is a device enabling the drunken driver to operate in absolute safety.
你把它装满尿液, 假装把管子从裤子里面拿下来
You fill this with piss, take this pipe down the trouser…
然后把这一端的管子这样抽出来
and cellotape this valve to the end of the old chap.
这样子,就算你喝得烂醉 他们也根本拿你没办法
Then you get horribly drunk, and they can’t fucking touch you.
根据这些说明
According to these instructions,
你可以拒绝任何东西 只需提供尿样
you refuse everything but a urine sample.
你解开你的管子
You undo your valve…
给他们一些童子尿
and give ’em a dose of unadulterated child’s piss,
这样他们就不得不把 钥匙还给你了
and they have to give you your keys back.
丹尼真是天才 我现在要小睡一会了
Danny’s a genius. I’m gonna have a doze.
沿着瞭望塔
王子们成了一道风景
而很多女人来来往往的
还有那些赤脚的侍从
他们远在寒冷的天边
一只野猫在发牢骚
两个骑士正在走近
风也开始怒吼
嘿
沿着瞭望塔
（还在继续,蒙蒙眬眬的）
-我们到那里了吗？ -不,我们还在这里
– Are we there? – No, we’re not. We’re here.
我们正处在他妈的飓风中，心
We’re in the middle of a fucking gale.
你得留，心看好你那边
You’ll have to keep a look out your side.
如果你看到任何东西, 告诉我拿好那张地图
If you see anything, tell me. Get hold of that map.
-威士忌在哪里？ -要来干嘛？
– Where’s the whiskey? – What for?
我看到一个坏蛋
I got a bastard behind the eyes.
如果我不喝酒就无法 吞下阿司匹林
I can’t take aspirins without a drink.
-阿司匹林在哪了？ -可能在浴室里
– Where’s the aspirins? – Probably in the bathroom.
我们出来这么个前不靠村 后不靠店的地方 竟然连个阿司匹林也没带出来？
We’ve come out here in the middle of nowhere without aspirins?
-我们现在在什么地方？ -我怎么知道在什么地方？
– Where are we? – How should I know where we are?
我觉得好像有猪往我头上拉屎
I feel like a pig shat in my head.
拿好那幅地图 找那个叫克劳峭壁的地方
Get hold of that map and look for a place called Crow Crag.
应该是这里, 这里应该有阿司匹林
There must and shall be aspirin.
把钥匙给我,滚开
Give me the keys. Get out of the way.
如果我没得吃阿司匹林, 我会死的…
If I don’t get aspirin, I shall die…
你♥他♥妈♥的在这种山卡拉地方 还找什么阿司匹林！
here on this fucking mountainside!
万能的主啊！
Christ Almighty!
蒙蒂
Monty.
-你在干什么？ -好好歇着,享受我的假期
– What are you doing? – Sitting down to enjoy my holiday.
行，现在我们得把这东西 好好研究一下
Right. Now, we’re gonna have to approach this scientifically.
我们首先点着火
First thing we’ve got to do is get this fire alight.
然后我们分头行事
Then we split into two fact-finding groups.
我会找些水和检查水管
I’ll deal with the water and other plumbing.
你来去找木头和燃料
You can check the fuel and wood situation.
-那是什么？ -木头和燃料
– What’s that? – The fuel and wood situation.
外面除了飓风什么都没有
There’s nothing out there except a hurricane.
-这地方不能住人了 -等等吧,天会变暖的
– This place is uninhabitable. – Give it a chance. It’s got to warm up.
变暖？我们不如点个烟取暖吧
Warm up? We may as well sit around a cigarette.
这简直荒谬
This is ridiculous.
明年春天, 别人会发现我们死在这里的
We’ll be found dead in here next spring.
我头痛得要命
I’ve got a blinding fucking headache.
我们必须想办法取暖
We must have heat.
我们得想办法让这混♥蛋♥ 木材一直燃烧
We’ve got to keep this bastard burning.
我们今晚有足够的家私
Well, we’ve got enough furniture for tonight.
明天我会去农场弄些木头回来
Tomorrow we’ll go down that farm and get some logs.
错误，我跟你说, 这简直就是可怕的错误
Mistake, I’m telling you. This was a dreadful mistake.
（小鸟在快活的叫）
（有人敲门,狗在吠）
-谁？ -我
– Who’s there? – Me.
你想干什么？
What do you want?
我是蒙提维夫尼尔的朋友 他把他的农庄借给我们住了
I’m a friend of Montague Withnail’s. He’s lent us his cottage.
我在想, 你们可不可以卖♥♥给我们点食物 鸡蛋或者其他什么的
I wondered if you could sell us some food… eggs and things.
恩？
Hmm?
卖♥♥点木头和煤炭怎么样？
What about wood and coal?
我不是从伦敦来的, 你知道
I’m not from London, you know.
我可不管你来自何方
I don’t care where you come from!
这不是我从贝茨的小说中读到的
Not the attitude I’d been given to expect…
我期待的欢迎方式…
from the H.E. Bates novel I’d read.
我以为他们一整天在外面, 喝着苹果酒,讨论关于牛油的事
I thought they’d all be out the back, drinking cider, discussing butter.
明显是虚构的
Clearly a myth.
很明显,乡下人跟城里人 一样不能接纳陌生人
Evidently, country people are no more receptive to strangers than city dwellers.
（敲门,狗在吠）
请问你可否告诉我那里 可以买♥♥到一些煤炭和木头吗？
Do you think you could tell me where I could buy some coal and wood?
你很快就会见到我的儿子, 他是农场主
You’ll have to see me son. He runs this farm.
-你儿子在哪？ -在农场呢
– Where is your son? – Up in top fields.
你一定会发现他的, 他腿上缠着塑料袋
You can’t miss him. His leg’s bound in polythene.
（打呼噜声）
醒醒啊,你个坏蛋快醒醒！
Wake up, you bastard! Wake up!
快醒来啊！ 你还要去弄木头回来呢
Wake up, you bastard! You gotta get wood.
天啊,你怎么满身臭味！
Jesus! You’re covered in shit.
我试着去找些燃料和木头
I tried to get the fuel and wood.
那里有个看上去像是 领救济金的老太婆
There’s a miserable little pensioner down there.
-她不肯给我-那么, 我们到哪去弄啊
– She wouldn’t give it to me. – Where are we gonna get it, then?
山里有个男人
There’s a man on the mountain.
天知道他去那里干什么
Why he’s up there fuck knows.
但据说他腿上缠着塑料袋
But he’s up there with a leg in polythene.
你一定会发现他的, 他是你要找的人
You can’t miss him. He’s your man.
去看看那小屋 看能不能找到什么东西
And have another look in that shed. Find anything.
如果你什么都找不到, 把小屋拆了烧掉
If you can’t find anything, bring in the shed.
蒙蒂怎么会有这么一个 可怕的小屋？
How come Monty owns such a horrible little shack?
不知道
No idea.
你从来不会说起你的家人, 是吗？
You never discuss your family, do you?
我可不像你那样 对我的家人那么有兴趣
I fail to see my family as of any interest to you.
我对你的家人没兴趣
I have absolutely no interest in yours.
我一般不喜欢走亲戚 尤其是我自己的亲戚
I dislike relatives in general, my own in particular.
-为什么？ -因为…原因我已经告诉过你了
– Why? – Because… I’ve told you why.
我们刚好相反 他们不喜欢让我上台表演
We’re incompatible. They don’t like me being on stage.
这么说,他们一定很喜欢 你的职业咯？
Then they must be delighted with your career.