抛开自我空间（2001）

Jason was impressive, wasn’t he?
杰森表现得很好吧
I taught him, you know.
我也曾教过他
Nephrotoxicity,abckidney poisoning, myelosuppression.
肾毒，脊髓生长抑制
They are medical terms.
这些都是医学用语
I looked them up. It has always beenabcmy custom to treat words with respect.
我仍然记得…..很久很久以前…..
I can recall the time…
回忆起那段时光
…the very hour…
当我
…of the very day…
立志以后
…when I knew wordsabcwould be my life’s work.
要以文学abc当作我终生职志的那个时候
I like that one best.
我喜欢这一本
Read another.
读另一本
I think I’ll read…
我想读
…The Tale of the Flopsy Bunnies.
“小野兔的故事”
It has little bunnies on the front.
它上面有好多小兔兔
“The Tale of the Flopsy Bunnies…
“小野兔的故事”abc作者…毕崔斯波特
“… by Beatix Potter. ”
“据说…吃…太多的…莴苣”
“It is said that the effect…
“会…让人…变得…abc眼…皮…”
“… of eating too much lettuce…
“… is… ”
What is this word?
这句话什麽意思？
Say it in bits.
一个一个字念出来
“So-por-i-fic. ”
眼…皮…沉…重
What does that mean?
眼皮沉重，这什麽意思？
Soporific? Causing sleep.
眼皮沉重？abc有催眠的意思
– Causing sleep.abc- Makes you sleepy.
– 催眠…abc- 让人想睡觉
– “So-por-fic” means “makes you sleepy. “abc- That’s right.
– 眼皮沉重，就是让人想睡觉的意思abc- 没错
Now, use it in a sentence.
用它来造一句话
What has a soporific effect on you?
什麽东西会让你眼皮沉重？
What has a soporific effect on me?
什麽东西让我眼皮沉重？
What makes you sleepy?
什麽会让你想睡觉？
Nothing.
没有
That’s right.
很好
What about you?
那你呢？
What has a soporific effect on me?
什麽东西会让我眼皮沉重？
Let me think.
我想一想
Boring conversation,abcI suppose, after dinner.
无聊的对话，尤其是晚餐后
Me too. Boring conversation.
我也是，无聊的对话
Good, excellent. Carry on.
很好，继续吧
“It is said that the effectabcof eating too much lettuce…
“据说吃太多莴巨abc会让人…
“… is soporific. ”
…眼皮沉重”
The bunnies in the picture are sleeping.
图画裡的小兔子都睡著了
They’re sleeping like you said,abcbecause of sop-or-fic.
如你所说abc因为他们都是眼皮沉重
The illustration bore outabcthe meaning of the word…
过分解释往往会
…just as he had explained it.
让单字变得无趣
At the time it seemed like magic.
那时候一切都像著了魔法般
So…
所以…
…imagine the effect the wordsabcof John Donne first had on me.
你们可想见约翰道恩的诗abc初次带给了我多大的影响力
Ratiocination, concatenation.
必须去揣测、推理
Coruscation. Tergiversation.
加上他赋予诗的才气和华丽的词藻
Medical terms are less evocative.
医学用字就没有这启发性了
Still…
但是…
…I want to know what the doctors meanabcwhen they anatomize me.
他们分♥析♥时我还是abc很想瞭解他们在说什麽
My only defense isabcthe acquisition of vocabulary.
我只能藉著瞭解这些字abc做消极的抵抗
– Fever and neutropenia.abc- Okay, when did it start?
– 发烧、还有白血球减少abc- 什麽时候开始的？
I was at home reading.abcI felt so bad, I got cold.
我在家看书时，突然觉得不舒服
Fever and neutropenia.abcThey said to come in.
我发烧又觉得好冷abc他们叫我过来一趟
You did the right thing.abcDid somebody drive you?
做得很好abc有人载你来吗？
I took a taxi.
计程车，我搭计程车来的
好，来吧
Can you walk?
能走吗？
Okay, just sit here a minute.
先坐著
I’ll get Jason, he’s on call tonightabcand he’ll be able to give you some meds.
我去找杰森，他今天轮值abc他应该能…开给你一些药
Glad I was here tonight.
幸好他今晚在
I’m gonna get you to a bed soon, okay?
我儘快替你找个床位
I’m gonna get you some nice juiceabcwith lots of ice, okay?
我去帮你拿果汁abc好喝的果汁和冰块好吗？
Lights. I left all the lights on at my house.
电灯，我出门时还没关灯
Don’t worry about it. It’ll be okay.
别担心这个，会没事的
Prof. Bearing, how you feeling?
贝宁教授，还好吗？
My teeth are chattering.
我牙齿在颤抖
– Vitals?abc- Temp 102, pulse 120, respiration 36.
– 测量值呢？abc- 体温102，脉搏120，呼吸次数36
Fever and neutropenia,abcit’s a shake and bake.
发烧及白血球过少abc没什麽大问题
Blood culture and urine, stat. Admit her.abcPrepare her for reverse isolation.
观察纪录红血球值及排尿量abc替她安排隔离病房♥
Start with acetaminophen.abcVitals every four hours.
开始使用醋胺酚abc并每四小时做一次基本测量
Jason
杰森
You’d better talk to Kelekianabcabout lowering the dose next cycle.
你应该跟柯医生研究abc下个疗程是否该降低剂量了
It’s too much for her.
这对她来说负荷过重了
No way, she’s tough, she can take it.
降低剂量？ 不可能abc她很坚强，她能承受全剂量的
Full dose. Wake me whenabcthe counts come from the lab.
资料出来后请叫醒我
Good morning, Dr. Bearing.
早安…贝宁小姐
Full dose?
全剂量吗？
Definite progress, everything okay?
又前进一大步了，还好吧？
Yes.
还好
You’re doing swell.
你表现的非常好
Isolation’s no problem, a couple of days.abcThink of it as a vacation.
隔离病房♥没什麽，只有几天而已abc请把它当成是渡假吧！
– Jason!abc- What?
– 杰森abc- 干嘛？
In isolation…
隔离…
…I am isolated.
我被隔离了
For once I can use a term literally.
头一次我可以用得abc一点都不夸张
The chemotherapeutic agentsabceradicating my cancer…
化疗药物消灭了癌细胞
…have also eradicated my immune system.
却也同时破坏了我的免疫系统
In my present condition…
以我现在这样…
…every living thingabcis a health hazard to me.
每一个活生生的动物都可能abc传染病菌并危害到我的生命
I really have not got time for this.
这我也从未试过
Particularly health-care professionals.
这些特殊医疗的专业人士
Just to check the I and O sheetabctakes me a half an hour to do precautions.
我会先检查水分摄取排出表abc可能要花半个种头做预防治疗
5, 7, 11. 250 twice. Okay.
五、七、十一点，两次共两百五十毫升abc好了
Prof. Bearing, how are you feeling today?
贝宁博士，今天好吗？
Fine, just shaking sometimesabcfrom the chills.
很好，只是有时候冷得发抖
IV should kick in anytime now, no problem.
等一下会为你做静脉注射abc别担心
Listen, I gotta go.abcKeep pushing the fluids, okay?
我要走了abc记得多排尿，好吗？
I am not in isolation because I have cancer.
我没有被完全隔离abc因为我得了癌症
Because…
因为…
…I have a tumor the size of a grapefruit.
我还有一个像柚子abc那麽大的肿瘤陪我
No…
不…
…I am in isolation…
我是孤独的
…because I am being treated for cancer.
因为我是接受化疗的患者
My treatment imperils my health.
它同时也危害到了我健康
Herein lies the paradox.
这就是吊诡
John Donne would revel in it.
约翰道恩常使用这技巧
I would revel in it,abcif he wrote a poem about it.
我也很喜欢他诗裡abc使用的这技巧
My students would flounder in it…
但我学生常常会被弄迷糊
…because paradox isabctoo difficult to understand.
因为吊诡太难去理解了
“Think of it as a puzzle… ”
“把它当成谜语”
…I would tell them, “an intellectual game. ”
我会这样告诉他们，“当成是脑力激盪”
Or I would have told them…
或许我老早就说过了
…were it a game.
把它当作是个游戏
Which it is not.
但又不全然是
“… threw death on else immortal us
“透过死亡才能获得永生…”
“If lecherous goats, if serpents envious
“倘若伊甸园裡荒淫的羊群
“Cannot be damned
善妒的蛇不须入地狱”
“Alas, why should I be?
“啊，那何独我要呢”
“Why should intent or reason, born in me
“为何仅止于心中的企图存念abc须招致如此大的罪恶之名？”
“Make sins, else equal,abcin me more heinous?
“在上帝严酷的面容下
“And mercy being easy,abcand glorious to God
总是包容著垂怜的关爱”
“in his stern wrath, why threatens he?
“为何还要加诸abc如此的威胁警告？”
“But who am I,abcthat dare dispute with thee?
“但我那儿敢与谁争论？”
“O God. Oh! Of thine only worthy blood,abcand my tears
“喔，上帝啊，唯有借著abc你的鲜血和我哀痛的眼泪…”
“make a heavenly Lethean flood
“唯有藉著abc你的鲜血和我哀痛的眼泪…”
“And drown in it my sin’s black memory
“彙集成奔流的忘却洪水abc好洗清我身上肮髒的原罪”
“That thou remember them,abcsome claim as debt
“我始终会记得其中一些人abc那一些已堕落死亡的人”
“I think it mercy, if thou wilt forget”
“请施与你的关爱abc忘记我及我的一切罪恶吧”
A typical prayer would plead,abc”Remember me, O Lord. ”