飙风战警

情况不是你想的那样，长官
That’s not exactIy the way it happened.
有个不男不女的人妖来搅局
-Some haIf-a-sissy masquerading as–
阿特摩斯高登
-Artemus Gordon.
你认识他？
You know him?
当然，他是特警队的菁英
Of course. He’s the best marshaI I’ve got.
简直是旷世奇才
A kind of genius.
高登不仅聪明绝顶 而且勇往直前
Gordon has proven himseIf as a cunning operator, with a rapacious inteIIect.
他必排除万难，成功达成任务
Nothing wiII stop him from compIeting a mission…
只是有个笨蛋差点害他被炸死
…except maybe the impuIsive actions of a headstrong cowboy.
老兄，你是何方神圣？
Who are you, mister?
你问我是何方神圣？
What do you mean, who am I?
我是美国总统呀
I am the President of the United States.
不对
Wrong answer.
你到底是谁？
Who are you?
我是总…我是阿特摩斯高登
I am the President of the– I’m Artemus Gordon.
你怎么看出来的？
How did you know?
总统是西点军校毕业的
The President went to West Point.
却戴哈佛毕业戒指
That says Harvard.
非常有一套
Very observant.
你们到底在耍什么宝？
Somebody mind teIIing me what’s going on here?
葛兰特总统
President Grant….
刚才情况十分危险
Sir, these are periIous times.
我在示范敌人如何利用易容术
I was mereIy demonstrating how someone, using the art of disguise…
渗透到戒备森严的白宫里
…couId penetrate into the very boweIs of the White House, sir.
你太自以为是了，高登
You’re cIever, Gordon.
总有一天你会被自己害死 就像今天
One day it’s going to get you kiIIed. Like today.
还有你，卫斯特 不是每次都要照手册上教的
And West, not every situation caIIs for your approach of ”shoot first…
先开枪，继续开枪
…shoot Iater, shoot some more…
等所有人都死光了再问问题
…then when everybody’s dead, try to ask a question or two.”
你们一起合作对彼此都好
Working together wiII heIp you.
一起合作？
-Working together? -Sir, with aII due respect–
总统，我们… 我是三军统帅，我说了算数
You’II work the way your commander in chief teIIs you to.
对，我正想这么说
WeII, I was coming to that, sir.
两位，我们碰到一个大危机
GentIemen, America’s top scientists…
全美国最顶尖的科学家
…in the fieIds of physics, hydrauIics, expIosives…
都在去年被人绑♥架♥
…aII kidnapped in the Iast year
证实是麦葛斯将军主使
and aII by GeneraI McGrath, it now appears.
两位都一直在办这个案子
You two have been working on the same case the whoIe time.
怎么会到现在才搞清楚？
Why did it take so Iong to figure it out?
我们之中有人差点逮到他
One of us was trying to catch McGrath
可惜另一个人想嫁给他
and the other was trying to marry him.
没时间耍嘴皮子
We don’t have time for this.
我们只有一个礼拜的时间
OnIy one week, if we beIieve this;
葛兰特，你寻找的科学家
”GeneraI, the scientists
目前都在替我研发武器系统
you seek are in my empIoy creating a weapons system…
这个武器将超乎现代科技想像
…beyond the paIe of contemporary imagination.
历史和正义站在我这边
I suggest you put your affairs in order.
限你一周内向联邦政♥府♥投降
You have one week before you wiII surrender the U.S. government.”
这信和那蛋糕一起送来的
The Ietter was deIivered today with that cake.
是杏仁口味吗？
-It’s marzipan, isn’t it?
小心
-CarefuI.
是麦葛斯寄来的
It’s McGrath, sir.
麦葛斯是个有勇无谋的大老粗 有幕后主使者
McGrath may be a vicious kiIIer, but a mastermind he is not.
根据情报局线报
So whom do we seek? After consuIting with InteIIigence–
麦葛斯正往纽奥尔良路上
McGrath is on his way to New OrIeans.
我们在这里纸上谈兵 他早就远走高飞，不想也知道
The Ionger we’re here…the farther he runs. I don’t need InteIIigence.
不，你最好别太冲动
You’d rather reIy on stupidity.
两位，我今天动身去犹他州
GentIemen, I am Ieaving for Utah…
州际铁路要在那儿连接
…where the transcontinentaI raiIroads wiII be joined at Promontory Point.
你们是我最顶尖的特勤人员
You two are the best I’ve got.
希望你们抛弃成见
Put aside your differences…
合力阻止这幕后疯子的阴谋
…and find this madman, whoever he is, and stop him.
你们只有一个礼拜
You have one week.
解散
Dismissed.
两位
GentIemen.
总统指定流浪者号♥供你们来用
The Wanderer is at your disposaI.
五号♥车头，停在第六轨道
Engine number five, track six.
高登先生，这是你要的东西
Mr. Gordon, the item you requested.
谢谢
Thank you.
这什么啊
Figures. My new invention.
我的新发明 双气门内燃机 双排气双抽式爆震循环
The Bi-VaIve Interior Combustion Twice-Exhausted Bi-AxIe Nitro-CycIe.
少罗唆，要赶不上火车了
Save it. Got a train to catch.
我绝对不让火车等你
Not if I catch it first.
这马跑得很快嘛
Nice horse!
高登，把火车停下来
Gordon! Stop the train!
臭小子，我警告你
Hey! I’m warning you!
高登，快停车
Gordon! Stop the train!
进来啊，请坐
Come in. Have a seat.
把火车停下来
Stop the train!
别对我傻笑
Stop smiIing at me!
欢迎“降临”
How nice of you to drop in.
这样吧
AII right….
别老用一些怪里怪气的鬼玩意
Let’s drop the beards, the bikes, the fake boobies.
男子汉有本事就别玩花样
Let’s set that needIepoint aside and handIe this Iike men.
澄清一下，这可不算什么花样
As a matter of cIarification, this is not needIepoint.
这才叫做花样
This is needIepoint.
我正在做最后的修改
I’m putting the finaI touches on my Iatest invention.
这东西叫做金钟宝甲
I caII it The ImpermeabIe.
这件背心，把它穿在身上…
It’s a vest. When worn under cIothing…
刀枪不入，即使近距离开枪
…it can stop any buIIet, fired even at cIose range.
真那么神？ 不过还没实际试验过
-Is that so? -But I haven’t tested it fuIIy yet.
我觉得只要做好万全的计划 根本不需要动刀动枪
I find guns so primitive and unnecessary if one’s done one’s proper pIanning.
我总认为全靠暴♥力♥来解决问题
I have aIways feIt that aIIowing any situation to degenerate into vioIence…
简直是形同失败
…constitutes a faiIure on my part.
那么，高登先生
WeII, Mr. Gordon…
你失败了
…you faiIed.
好吧，卫斯特，我们就来…
AII right, Mr. West, we’II settIe this…
一对一单挑
…Iike men.
我爱死这辆火车
I Iove this train.
干杯
Cheers!
反正你在下面，闲着也是闲着
WhiIe you’re down there, feeI free to make use…
正好试试我的底座逃生系统
…of my Sub-Carriage Inter-RaiI VehicuIar Egressor.
我自己设计的
I designed it myseIf!
我觉得总统可能是对的
I’ve been thinking. Maybe the President’s right.
我们应该抛弃成见，互相合作
We shouId put aside our differences and work together.
你们要是把我的火车弄坏了
Fight each other aII you pIease. Harm my train…
别怪我不客气
…I’II douse you Iike dogs.
柯曼，那是我的松露浓汁
That’s my truffIe reduction sauce.
你们可以办正经事了吗？
Let’s get on about our President’s business, shaII we?
现往哪开？
-Where to?
纽奥尔良 让摩顿教授来决定吧
-New OrIeans. Why don’t we Iet Professor Morton decide?
不用无名小卒来告诉我往哪开
I don’t need some nobody professor teIIing me where to head.
摩顿教授
Meet Professor Thaddeus Morton,
六周前从麻省理工学院被绑♥架♥
kidnapped from M.I.T. six months ago.
冶金学权威
Expert in the fieId of metaIIurgy.
尸体在田野间被发现
Discovered in a fieId of aIfaIfa.
那是个人头
That’s a man’s head.
这磁铁圈在他尸体附近发现的
This magnetic coIIar was found about six feet away, near his body.
我还没研究出端倪
StiII trying to figure that one out.
那是个人头
That’s a man’s head.
根据视网膜解剖学理论
According to the RetinaI Terminus Theory, a dying person’s Iast image…
会像照相一样印在他眼球后方
…burns into his eyebaII Iike a photo.
搞不好可以发现线索
Perhaps there’s a cIue there.
我们来瞧瞧摩顿死前看到什么
I give you Morton’s Iast image.
那是个…
That’s
人头
a man’s head.
由于折射的关系
Refraction of the Ienses causes
影像上下颠倒，所以…
the image to appear upside down, so we….
那…
That…
是…个…
…is a man’s…