荒野大飚客（2007）

以为我的生活我的工作会是一次冒险 你知道吗？
My life and my work would be an adventure. You know?
突然之间，我就变成了一个乡村牙医
All of a sudden I’m a suburban dentist.
嘿，听着，道格 我能感觉到你的痛苦，兄弟
Hey, look, Doug, I feel your pain, man.
听着，我发誓我再也不会回去
Look, I swore I would never return to a job
干一个要在脚上套着避孕套进行的工作
where I had to wear condoms on my shoes.
你还在干水管工？ -是的
You’re still at The Firm? – Yeah.
我还有个不知感恩的老婆 整晚对我大吼大叫
And I get yelled at by an ungrateful wife all night.
所有这一切让我成了个… -懦夫
The whole thing has made me… – A wimp.
我本来要说可怜人的 可是你真的觉得我是个懦夫吗？
I was gonna say miserable. But you think I’m a wimp?
不，我以为你要说懦夫的 所以就帮你先说了出来
No, I thought you were gonna say wimp, so I just filled it in.
你就是个懦夫，鲍比，我直言不讳
You’re a wimp, Bobby. I… I’ll say it.
我是说，你怕女人 这是个很糗的事情
I mean, you’re afraid of women. It’s kind of embarrassing.
我怕女人 -你是怕和女人说话
I’m afraid of women. – You’re afraid to talk to women.
鲍比是怕她们会杀了他
Bobby’s afraid they’ll kill him
在他睡觉的时候
in his sleep.
哦，现在我是真的怕了
Wow. Now I’m really afraid of women.
至少我们四个之中 有一个人是住在童话里的
At least one of us is living the fairy tale.
对吗，伍迪？你这么有钱 一直都满世界跑来跑去
Right, Woody? Plenty of money, travel all the time,
还有个泳装模特做老婆
you got the swimsuit model for a wife.
至少我们之中有一个人混得不错
At least one of us has got it made.
嗯，一个人的童话是另一个人的噩梦
Yeah, Well, one man’s fairy tale is another man’s nightmare.
你不觉得你的第一个棉花糖做好了吗 道格？
You think that the marshmallow’s done, Doug?
嘿，看这个，谁想要第一个棉花糖？
Oh. Hey, look at that. Anybody want the first marshmallow?
越来越像达德利的头盔了
Starting to look like Dudley’s helmet.
好吧
All right.
我想我吹到一半了 -噢，半个小时吹了一半？
I think I’m halfway there. – Oh, in only one hour?
嘿，鲍比，你确定你想那么做吗？
Hey, Bobby, you sure you wanna do that?
你可以用帐篷里多余的一个…睡袋！
You could use one of the spare bags we got in the… tent!
达德利，快去把我包里的那个水壶拿来！
Hey, Dudley, go get the water jug out of my bag!
我想要…踢！踢！踢！把泥踢到火上去！
I want… Kick, kick, kick, kick! Dirt!
水壶来了！
I got it!
那是便携炉子的燃料！
That’s camp-stove fuel!
不！
No!
你装错壶了！
This is the wrong jug!
你以为呢？
You think?
噢，上帝啊
Aw, God.
这个帐篷本来该是用阻燃材料做成的
This is supposed to be flame-retardant.
我猜那肯定不是“阻达德利”材料
I guess it wasn’t “Dudley-retardant.”
我所有的内♥裤♥都被烧没了
All my drawers are burning.
噢，糟糕透了！
Oh, perfect!
你在干什么？
What are you doing?
啊？不让风吹到我的脸
Huh? Keeping my face out of the wind.
嘿，噢，伙计们，我的屁♥股♥都疼了
Hey. Oh. Boy, my ass is sore.
我的也是
Mine, too.
都怪伍迪，昨天让我们骑得那么累
It’s Woody’s fault for riding us so hard yesterday.
人的身体可不是设计来 跨骑摩托车那么大的玩意的
The human body wasn’t made to straddle something that big for that long.
你们知道的，是会有一点点疼 可是这也是我们体验的一部分
Well, you know, it’s gonna hurt a little bit, and that’s part of the experience.
这也是为什么我们不把老婆带来的原因
That’s why we didn’t bring our wives.
怎么…究竟怎么回事？
What the… What the hell?
有没有人给我解释一下 为什么是我一个人睡在地上？
Somebody wanna explain to me why I’m the one in the dirt…
我喉咙疼，因为吹了三个小时的…
…when I got sore jaws from three hours of blowing…
看在上帝的份上，请你把话说完
Please, please for the love of God, finish your sentence.
让我瞧瞧，这里，呃…
Let’s see, what, uh…
这里到底是什么状况？
What exactly do we have here?
这儿有…
We’ve got…
…一个、两个、三个男人在床上…调情？
…one, two, three men… in a bed… spooning?
事实不是看上去那样的
This is not what it looks like.
这是，我们，呃…这是什么，伍迪？
This is a, uh… We, um… What is it, Woody?
这是在露营
Camping.
我来告诉你们这里是什么状况，讨厌鬼
I’ll tell you just exactly what it is there, Poindexter.
这里有四个露阴狂
It is four counts of indecent exposure,
两个色情狂，还有…
two counts of lewd, lascivious behavior, and…
一个…嫉妒狂
…one count… of pure jealousy.
啊？ -你们过得如何？
Huh? – How you doing?
嘿，瞧 -喔，我们不是…
Hey, look. – Whoa, we’re not…
谢谢你叫我们起床，警长
Thanks for waking us up, Officer.
噢，实际上… -我明白了，你们得走了
Oh, it was actually… – I get it. You gotta get going.
太棒了
That’s terrific.
五个人一起如何？我加入进来怎么样？
Five’s a crowd? Is that what I’m gleaning here?
五…是个奇数，想想吧
Yeah, five’s… uneven number. Figure it out.
你们感觉不到是不是？ 你们是身在福中不知福
You guys can’t see it, can you? You’re too close.
你们还没意识到能和彼此在一起有多幸运
You don’t realize how lucky you are to have each other.
噢，我的妈啊，太幸运了
Oh, daddy… Damn lucky.
我向来都有这种感觉 -我知道你的感觉
I’ve always felt so. – I know what you’ve felt.
我也有
I have too.
你穿了裤子没？ -没有
You wearing pants? – No.
你能不能把裤子给穿上 看在老天的份上！
Would you please put some pants on, for God’s sake!
达德利！
Dudley!
多好的一个人
What a nice guy.
嗯，噢，是的
Mmm. Oh, yeah.
喔！有没有人想去撒尿？
Whoo! Anybody else gotta take a leak?
我不去 -我不去
No. – No.
嘿，伙计们，到下一站还得花不少时间
Hey, guys, last stop for quite a while.
我又得去尿了
I gotta pee again now.
喔，我在这里就能问到他们的味道
Wow. I can smell them from here.
先生们，这才是真正的公路旅行
Gentlemen, that’s the real deal.
啊
Ahh.
怎么了？
What?
现在的确是有野味了！
Now, that’s “wild!”
喔！噢，走开！
Oh! Whoa, stop it!
摩托手有难！
Biker in trouble!
太爽了！
This is awesome!
谢谢你们等我，混球们！
Thanks for waiting for me, jerks!
哟活！
Yoo-hoo!
噢，水…哇，水好冷！
Oh, it’s… Whoa, it’s cold!
你怎么了？ -为什么要脱♥光♥？
What? – Why are you naked?
我们在游泳，你们几个都还穿着内♥裤♥？
We’re swimming. Did you guys keep your skivvies on?
水里说不定有咬人的乌龟什么的
There could be snapping turtles or something.
我不想搞得像我们在这里拍断背山似的 所以就穿着
I kept mine on ’cause I didn’t want it to get dark in here.
我不知道 我只是觉得我们是来追寻野性与自♥由♥
I don’t know, I thought we were doing this wild and free thing.
哦…
Yeah, well…
现在感觉起来 更像是追求老套和无趣，是吗？
More like, old and lame, isn’t it?
兴奋的人会毫不犹豫地把内♥裤♥撕烂
The high guy would’ve just ripped ’em right off, you know,
要是…要是在以前的话
back in the… back in the day.
可是这不是在以前，对吗？ -没必要吧
But the day’s today, isn’t it? – This isn’t necessary.
耶，来吧，来吧！啊？
Yeah, come on. Come on! Huh?
现在看见你引起的后果了吧？ 连道格都把内♥裤♥给脱了
Now you see what you started? You even got Doug out of his drawers.
管它呢，你知道我的意思吗？
What the hell, you know what I mean?
不过大家都保持点距离
But everybody keep their distance.
我可不希望 有什么暧昧事情破坏了我们的友谊
I don’t want the whole size thing to ruin our friendship.
我要发射内♥裤♥了，从你头上飞过去，宝贝
Launching mine. Over your head, baby.
你们几个疯了
Whew. You guys are nuts.
拜托！嗯？
Come on! Huh?
好吧，我来和我的同性恋朋友一起裸泳
Fine. I will get naked with my gay friends,
要是谁敢偷♥窥♥我，我就杀了谁
and if any of them look at my junk, I will kill them.
先生们，这将成为我们的美好回忆
Gentlemen, these are the good old days.
来吧，孩子们，来吧！
Come on, kids! Come on!
噢 -喔，不是吧
Whoo! – Oh, no.
谁最后下水谁就是小狗！
Last one in smells like Uncle Eddie!
噢，不是吧
Aw, hell no.
希望你们不会介意我们和你们一起游 我们的小货车有点儿挤
Hope you guys don’t mind company. Minivan was getting crowded.
峡谷上有个浅得多的小河，正适合孩子
There’s a much shallower creek for kids just up the canyon a bit.
噢，不用了，我的孩子喜欢潜水
Oh, no, my kids like to dive.
马克，让这个人看看你的潜水技术
Marky, show this guy your dive.
要是你把手臂围成一个圈 他能倒翻跟头从圈里穿过去
If you put your arms out, he does a backflip right into them.
不！别那样做！这不是个好主意！
No! Don’t do that, it’s not a good idea.
噢，你们好
Oh, hello.
你们几位喜欢土豆沙拉吗？
You gentlemen like potato salad?
我们这有多的
We’ve got extra.
呃，或许你该在那边吃
But, uh, you might wanna eat that way over there.