为什么是他？（2016）

你说你在修理地基的裂缝
You said you were fixing a crack in the foundation.
那是我们吗？
Is that us?
对 照片是从你们社团的脸书抓的
Yeah, I got the images off your league’s Facebook page.
太狂了
That’s so insane.
爸 有你的招牌动作“胯下斩”耶
Dad, look, he even got in your signature “crotch chop.”
对耶
Oh, yeah.
哇
Wow.
这里是我们为苹果跟安卓平台
All right, this here is where we develop a few apps
开♥发♥应用程式的地方
for the Apple and Android platforms.
你们快跟弗莱明一家问好
Hey, gang, say hi to the Flemings.
– 你们好 – 你们好吗？
– Hey, guys. – Hey, what’s up?
等等 你的员工住在这里？
Wait, I don’t understand. Do your employees live here?
有些人可能是 我也搞不清楚
Uh, maybe some of them do. I don’t really know.
古斯塔其实是很神的建筑师
Gustav is actually an amazing architect.
这里是我们一起设计的
We designed this place together.
你什么时候去了马丘比丘？
When did you go to Machu Picchu?
这是什么时候放的？
Hun, when did you put these up?
那头麋鹿是怎么回事？
What the heck is that moose?
那是菲利普曼费迪的作品
That’s a Phillip Manfredi.
好眼光 芭芭拉
Great pick-up, Barb.
听说你是很厉害的艺术和摄影教授
Stephy told me that you’re this amazing art and photography professor.
– 有够犀利 – 嗯嗯
– That’s awesome. – Mmm-hmm.
我只是在社区大学教两堂课
I teach a couple of classes at a local community college.
别谦虚 妈 你是很棒的摄影师
Don’t be so modest, Mom. You’re an amazing photographer.
它看起来就像真的死麋鹿
Oh, that looks like a real dead moose.
被你说中了 奈德
Well, that’s exactly what it is, Ned.
泡在自己尿里的死麋鹿
A dead moose suspended in its own urine.
象征了文化是如何禁锢我们的心灵
It’s meant to symbolize the way that our culture has imprisoned our minds.
我得说 好艺术让我欲♥火♥焚身
I got to tell you, Ned, great art really gets me aroused.
简直就像强力春♥药♥
It’s actually a very strong aphrodisiac.
莱德
Laird.
倒不是说那位美魔女还不够诱人
Not that you need any help getting turned on by that gorgeous woman.
宝贝
Honey.
干嘛？你妈妈很美啊
What? Your mom is beautiful.
– 她是啊 – 她值得被称赞
– She is. – She deserves some props for that.
有人敢夸我就敢听
Well, I’ll take a compliment wherever I can get one.
那我继续说 你的身材很火♥辣♥
Well, here’s another one. You got a bangin’ bod, too.
好的
All right.
大家好啊
Hey, what’s going on, everyone?
这位是理查·布莱斯
Richard Blais, everybody.
他是分子厨艺大♥师♥
This is the maestro of molecular gastronomy.
老天 是“顶级主厨”里那个帅哥
Oh, my God. That’s that cute one from Top Chef.
他是老爱说“砰”的那个
Oh, he’s the one who goes, “Bam!”
那是艾莫利 那家伙是个烂咖
No, that’s Emeril. He’s a fucking dick, that guy.
阿布 什么事？
Dickie Blais what’s up?
莱德觉得今晚为你们做个快闪餐厅
Yeah, so Laird thought it would be a fun idea to do a pop-up restaurant
会很好玩
just in your honor tonight.
– 是吗？ – 是的
– Did he? – Yeah.
我做了醒嘴的小点
And I have here a little amuse-bouche.
如果有人想吃晚餐前的小点心
So if anyone’s looking for a little pre-dinner snack,
可以过来这里
you can head on up here.
太好了 因为我饿扁了
Count me in, ’cause I’m famished.
好耶
All right.
你的惊喜还真多
There are so many surprises.
我知道
I know.
饿肚子的人来对地方了
You’re hungry, you’ve come to the right place.
我为你们准备了海陆飨宴
I’ve got surf and turf for you.
牛排和龙虾
Steak and lobster.
太好了
Yum, yum.
我的版本有食用土和浮游生物泡沫
My version of surf and turf, edible soil and plankton foam.
请用
Dig in. Oh.
我等不及要吃晚餐了
Wow, can’t wait for dinner.
免了
No.
我觉得进行得很顺利耶
Hey, so I think it’s going great, right?
我看他们已经接受我了
I think they’ve already accepted me.
我接收到的讯号♥不太一样
I’m getting a little bit of a different vibe.
真假？怎么说？
Oh, really? Like what?
别太刻意
Don’t try so hard.
我哪有 你是什么意思？
I’m not, what do you mean?
你为我爸装了保龄球道
You put in a bowling alley for my dad
还把我全家人刺在你背上
and you got a tattoo of my entire family on your back.
刺青太过火了吗？
Was the tattoo too much?
– 对 – 妈的
– Yes. – Fuck.
靠 我就知道
Shit, I knew it.
古斯塔也说过一样的话
Yeah, Gustav said the same thing.
好 别担心
Okay, don’t worry…
我暂时不会再刺有他们的刺青了
I won’t get any more tattoos of them while they’re here.
– 谢谢你 – 没问题
– Thank you. – Okay.
我爱你
I love you.
我也爱你
I love you, too.
好吧
Okay.
还有 别再对他们烙脏话
Oh, one more thing, stop calling them motherfuckers
或说我妈有多辣了
and talking about how hot my mom is.
她出乎意料的性感 我惊呆了
Well, she’s sneaky sexy, took me by surprise.
她是个辣妈 正港的辣妈
Dude, she is a MILF, like a genuine MILF.
如果她不是你妈 就是个“搞妈”
And if it wasn’t your MILF, she’d be a MIWF…
我想搞的妈
a mother I would fuck.
– 但是我不会 – 好
– But I won’t. – Okay.
– 废话 – 谢谢你
– Of course. – Thank you.
– 好啦 这里很美 – 是啊
– All right, it’s pretty. – Yeah.
我…
You know…
是很夸张
It’s a lot.
– 对 那麋鹿… – 对
– Yes! I mean, the moose… – Yes.
那些粗话 拜托哦
And the language. Come on!
真正的麋鹿耶
Mmm-hmm. A real moose!
– 他还调戏你妈 – 很糟糕
– And he’s coming onto your mother. – That’s not okay.
还有刺青？
And the tattoo?
那刺青…他多大…？
The tattoo! And how…
– 三十二岁 – 我的天 你才…
– 32 – Oh, my. And you’re…
– 二十二岁 – 没错
– 22. – Yes!
你不喜欢保龄球道上的壁画？
You didn’t like the mural of you and Scotty down in the new bowling alley?
保龄球道跟壁画…那是标准球道
The bowling alley with the mural is… And the bowling alley is regulation.
是蛮不错的
That’s quite nice
很少有人有那么好的东西
and that’s very rare to have something that nice.
他用的抛光蜡也很好 但是…
And the polish that he used was quite… It was good. But…
对不起
I’m sorry.
我早该告诉你的
I should have told you.
对你坦白一切
About everything, of course.
我不知道该怎么在电♥话♥里介绍他
Honestly, I didn’t know how to explain him over the phone.
我一直想像…
I just kept imagining…
妈会上网搜寻莱德
Mom Googling Laird Mayhew
你们会在认识他之前就先下断论
and you guys jumping to conclusions before you even got a chance to know him.
现在我们认识他了
Well, now we know him.
还没有 你们才到十五分钟
No, you don’t. You’ve been here for 15 minutes.
是啊
Yeah.
谢谢你
Thank you.
这是你们第一次没在家过圣诞节
I wouldn’t have asked you to come out here and miss Christmas in Michigan
我会特地邀你们来都是因为…
for the first time ever, if he wasn’t…
他对我真的很重要
…really important to me.
好吧
Okay.
你会给他一个机会？
You’ll give him a chance?
– 好 – 谢谢你…
– Okay. – Okay, thank you. Thank you.
过来
Come here.
我爱你
I love you.
我也爱你
I love you, too.
如果我上网搜寻他 会看到什么？
So if I did Google him, what would I find?
别这么做
Don’t do it.
不要搜寻他
Don’t search for him.
我还是看不懂
Well, I still don’t see it.
这个是男的 他在“挺进”
Darling, this is the male, and he’s thrusting.