为什么是他？（2016）

that you wanna marry me
但我还没准备好
but I’m not ready for that.
而且我要念完大学
And I’m gonna finish school.
为了我自己
For me.
因为那是我要的
Because that’s what I wanna do.
懂吗？
Got it?
真聪明
That’s really smart.
只是 我的大计划…
It’s just, I had this big plan
终究没成功
and it didn’t work out.
这就是人生 小子
Yeah. Well, that’s life, pal.
你说得真好
That is so well put, Ned.
真的超聪明的
It’s really, really smart.
是你想出来的吗？
Dude, did you come up with that?
你说“这就是人生”？
The words, “That’s life?”
奈德 你真的好有智慧
Ned, you’re so full of practical wisdom…
我只是很期待能成为你的女婿
I was just really looking forward to you being my father-in-law.
我又没有要跟你分手
I’m not breaking up with you.
没有吗？
You’re not?
没有
No, honey.
我还是你的女朋友
No, no, no. I’m still your girlfriend.
我们还在一起
We’re still together.
谢天谢地
Oh, thank God!
过来啦
Come here.
[固特异]
[史黛芬 嫁给我！]
圣诞快乐
Merry Christmas.
– 奈德 – 嘿
– Ned. – Hey.
你的员工好酷哦
Dude, your employees are so cool.
确实如此
Yeah, they are.
也许我不该那样介入…
Maybe it was wrong of me to interfere like that,
但你何不让我救你的公♥司♥？
but why don’t you let me save your company?
我不能那么做
No, Laird, I can’t.
旧的模式已经不适用了
That old model doesn’t work anymore.
我猜…
I guess… I don’t know.
我之前只是不想承认吧
I guess I just didn’t want to believe it.
但既然你提起了
But since you mentioned it…
我想要你听听我的点子
I do have a business idea I wanna run by you.
老兄 放马过来
Dude, elevator pitch me!
好
Okay.
不 等一下
No, hold on.
这不是我的点子 你等等
This wasn’t my idea at all. One second.
– 史考特 过来 – 什么事？
– Scotty, come here. – Yo, what’s up?
– 过来 – 好
– Come here. – Yeah?
把你在飞机上说的点子告诉莱德
I want you to tell Laird about the business idea you mentioned on the plane.
– 说吧 – 真的吗？
– Go ahead. – Wait, really?
对
Yeah.
就叫你坐上桌了 小老弟
Told you to get that seat at the table, bro.
没错 爸 他跟我说…
You did. He told me, Dad. He was, like…
“你要坐上桌” 我终于办到了
“You’re gonna get that seat.” I can’t believe I finally got the seat.
龙跟奶♥子♥ 宝贝
Dragons and titties, baby.
龙跟奶♥子♥
Dragons and titties!
喷火吧
Breathe that fire.
好好享受
Get up in there.
享受那些奶♥子♥
Get up in those titties!
我要得到那些龙
Gonna get those dragons.
爸…
Dad…
史考特
Scotty!
别玩你♥爸♥的奶了 快做简报
Stop motorboating your dad, and elevator pitch me.
抱歉
Sorry. Uh…
莱德 我对你的马桶念念不忘
Laird, I can’t stop thinking about your toilets, dude.
– 我的马桶？ – 对
– My toilets? – Yeah.
那股清爽感 香氛爽身粉
The fresh feeling, the scented talc.
我在想 如果控制板有英文
I was thinking if you can get the controls in English
售价再降低一点
and maybe lower the price point a little bit,
美国就成了我们全新的市场
we could have a potentially untapped market here in America.
– 靠 – 对吧？
– Shit. – right?
我们还能找日本制♥造♥商谈价钱…
And look, we can contact a Japanese manufacturer
儿子 恕我直言 那太瞎了
No, Scotty. Pardon my French, but fuck that noise.
– 喔 – 听着 这里就有工厂
– Whoa. – Listen. We have a factory right here in Grand Rapids
还有三十七个最棒的员工
with 37 of the best employees you’re ever gonna want.
我们自己做吧
Let’s build our own.
– 水啦 奈德老大 – 好耶
– Hells yes, Grateful Ned! – Yeah!
砰
Boom!
抱歉 没事
Okay, sorry. Yeah.
♪ 天使初报圣诞佳音 ♪
♪ The first noel the angels did say ♪
♪ 先向田间贫苦牧人 ♪
♪ Was to certain poor shepherds In fields as they lay ♪
♪ 牧人正当看守羊群 ♪
♪ In fields where they lay keeping their sheep ♪
♪ 严冬方冷长夜已深 ♪
♪ On a cold winter’s night that was so deep ♪
♪ 欢欣 欢欣… ♪
♪ Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel ♪
结果这个圣诞节还蛮酷的吧？
It turned out to be a pretty cool holiday after all, huh?
是啊 儿子
It did, son.
老兄
Dude.
什么？
What?
你果然在圣诞节叫我“儿子”了
Told you you’d be calling me “son” by Christmas.
那只是个比喻
That’s just a figure of speech.
是啊 老爸
Sure, Dad.
♪ Merry Christmas, I don’t want to fight tonight ♪
大家好啊 是我 古斯塔
Hello there, you gang! It is I, Gustav.
真高兴看到你们
It’s so great to see you!
你们觉得我的新胡子如何？
Hey, what do you think of the new facial hair, huh?
我现在都在密西根 所以…
I’m based in Michigan now, so you know…
现在都走中西部大力士风
I’m trying to do this whole kind of Paul Bunyan, Midwestern thing.
我想留满一点
I wanted to fill it all out.
[弗莱明公♥司♥]
[成立于1991年]
史考特 莱德和奈德把印刷公♥司♥…
So Scotty, Laird, and Ned took the printing company…
[弗莱明·梅修马桶]
变成一间马桶工厂
turned it into a toilet factory…
而且状况极佳
and it’s going great!
马桶既省水又环保
The toilet is water efficient und eco-friendly.
是最尖端的科技
It’s state of the art.
他们发明了马桶界的特斯拉
I’m telling you, they have invented the Tesla of toilets!
[成立于1991年][马桶界的特斯拉–高速企业]
太厉害了
It’s amazing.
芭芭拉确保它们都有阴♥部♥清洗功能
Barbara has made sure that each toilet has a state of the art vaginal cleanse.
你们懂我意思的
You know exactly what I’m saying.
每个款式都有贾丝汀 智慧马桶嘛
Every single model comes with Justine. Talk about a smart toilet.
她知道你需要的是小水花…
She knows if you need a little sploosh
还是赌城那座大喷泉
or if you actually need the fountains of the Bellagio up there.
史考特终于坐上桌了
Scotty has finally got his seat at the table.
太美了
It’s beautiful.
他有点太迷恋龙 奶♥子♥跟奶波浪
He went a little too far with the dragons, and the titties, and the motorboating.
我也醉了
Oy vey.
史黛芬小姐
Oh, Miss Stephanie.
她想到可以让弗莱明·梅修公♥司♥
She had the idea to link the Fleming-Mayhew company
跟新的基金会合作
with the new foundation.
赞助第三世界的污水处理工程 我就说吧
So now, they’re sponsoring sewage projects all over the Third World. I told you.
冰雪聪明的女孩
Smart, smart, smart girl.
这帮人现在过得很开心
So, things are working out really well for the gang here.
[高速企业 冲上云霄]
公♥司♥红透半边天
The company is a smashing success.
我亲爱的莱德也终于实现了梦想
And my dear Laird has finally gotten what he’s always wanted.
加入一个家庭
To be part of a family.
[圣诞快乐！]
先说到这里吧 我们下次见
All right, ciao for now, you friends.
莱德 被我看到就不算偷袭…
When I see Ryder, it’s not a surprise attack
– 去你的 老古 – 靠
– Fuck you, Goose! – Scheisse!
♪ I wanna rock and roll all night ♪
♪ And party every day ♪
♪ I wanna rock and roll all night ♪
♪ And party every day ♪
♪ You keep on saying you’ll be mine for a while ♪
♪ You’re looking fancy and I like your style ♪
♪ You drive us wild, we’ll drive you crazy ♪
♪ You show us everything you’ve got ♪
♪ Baby, baby, it’s quite a lot ♪
♪ You drive us wild, we ‘ll drive you crazy ♪
♪ You keep on shouting, you keep on shouting ♪
♪ I wanna rock and roll all night ♪
♪ And party every day ♪
♪ I wanna rock and roll all night ♪
♪ And party every day ♪
♪ I wanna rock and roll all night ♪
♪ And party every day ♪
♪ I wanna rock and roll all night ♪
♪ And party every day ♪