为什么是他？（2016）

Merry Christmas.
– 谁来解释一下？ – 史黛芬…
– Someone fill me in here. – Well, Steph…
我买♥♥下你♥爸♥的公♥司♥了
I bought your father’s company.
算是啦
Sort of.
我买♥♥下你所有的债务 当作礼物
Ned, I purchased all your debt as a Christmas present.
搞什么？
What the fuck?
– 你这个混♥蛋♥ – 什么？
– You son of a bitch. – What?
我是为你好 免得你破产
Dude, I’m trying to be nice, so you can avoid bankruptcy.
是“第十一章”吗？我不想听到那个字
Are you guys talking Chapter 11? I don’t even wanna hear that term.
各位 快开始唱“圣诞铃♥声♥”
Okay, gentlemen, I need Jingle Bells, and step on it!
你居然没告诉我们这件事
I can’t believe that you didn’t tell us about this.
不 我只是…
What? No, it’s just…
最近的生意不太好
The business has been running a little rough lately.
我已经在谈新生意了
I’m already working on a new deal right now.
– 你也不知道？ – 没错
– So you had no idea? – No.
你怎么会知道这件事？
How the hell did you know about this?
因为贾丝汀
It was Justine. Oh.
对 是我
Yeah, it was me.
她播了你之前跟别人交谈的录音
She played me back a little bit of a conversation you had the other day…
叫小卢的家伙
with a guy named Lou.
我当然得帮忙
Of course, I had to help.
奈德 很抱歉我越线了
Ned, I’m sorry if I overstepped.
是啊
Yep.
但我真的很担心你
But I was really, really worried about you.
她认真的 不是乱说
She was. No clowning.
你不用有压力
And just so you don’t stress,
你一样还是老大
you’re still gonna be the Big Cheese, dude.
我打算当个隐形的业主
I plan on being a very hands-off owner.
你怎么说 伙伴？
So what do you say, partner?
– 奈德 你… – 搞什么？
– Ned, what are you… – What the fuck?
爸 你干嘛这样？
Why would you do that, Dad?
爸
Dad!
去你的 纸片人
Fuck you, paper man!
毁了
Oh, scheisse.
奈德 对不起
Ned, I’m sorry, bro.
你还好吗？
Are you okay? Oh, man.
是训练造成的反射动作
My training, it just takes over.
现在大家都很激动
Everybody is feeling a lot of tension.
– 冷静点 – 爸
– Calm down. – Dad!
或是用iPad砸别人的脸
Or we can hit people square in the face with an iPad.
脱离战斗 快跑
Disengage. Disengage and run!
那也太酷了吧
Dude, that was kind of cool. You gotta be honest.
奈德 我爱你 我只是想帮忙
Ned, I love you. I was just trying to help.
– 快脱离 – 老公 放开他的蛋蛋
– Laird, disengage him! – Ned, let go of his balls!
莱德 闪避性跑酷…
Laird! Evasive parkour!
莱德 快跑
Laird, get away!
闪避性跑酷 快蹬墙
Evasive parkour! Do the wall pop!
蹬墙
Wall pop!
老古 你有看到吗？
Goose! Did you see that?
蹬得好 你终于用核心肌群了
That’s right! Because you finally engaged your core!
给我下来
Get down here!
感觉是不是很不一样？
You see the difference of the feeling? How it feels differently?
我知道…
I know!
– 天啊 – 老天
– Oh, my God! – Oh, my God!
– 别吸气 我来了 – 史考特 不…
– Don’t breathe in. I’ll save you, brother! – Scotty, no! Scotty!
不行 儿子
No, honey!
我来救你了 莱德
I’m here to save you, Laird!
儿子 小心
Scotty, watch out!
莱德 你没事吧？
Laird! You okay?
没事
Yeah!
– 太好了 – 你没事
– Fantastic! – You’re okay.
– 你没事 – 等等 史考特呢？
– You’re okay. – Wait. Where’s Scotty?
史考特 天啊
Scotty! Oh, my God.
– 史考特 – 他在麋鹿底下
– Scotty! – He’s under the moose!
他在麋鹿底下
He’s under the moose!
史考特
Scotty!
靠北
Oh, shit.
他妈的麋鹿蛋蛋在我嘴里
These fucking moose balls are in my mouth.
靠 它在蛋洗你的脸耶
Oh, shit, he’s teabagging you, bro!
我帮你
I got you.
快过来…
Come here. Come here.
天啊 没事了
Oh, my God. It’s okay.
没事了
It’s okay.
女儿 很抱歉情况变成这样
Honey, I’m so sorry it turned out this way.
我也是
Me, too.
我到家再打给你
I’ll call you when I get home.
好好安慰史考特
Okay. Good luck with Scotty.
– 谢谢你 – 是啊
– Thank you. I’ll need it. – Yeah.
女儿 我从来没…
Steph, listen. I never…
我听够了 祝你旅途平安
I’m done listening. Have a safe flight.
– 姐 再见 – 再见 史考特
– See you, sis. – Bye, Scotty.
我居然要回去用卫生纸了
Can’t believe I have to go back to toilet paper.
唐密里斯 圣诞快乐
Hey, Don Millis. Merry Christmas, sir.
你也是 不好意思在圣诞节打来
You too, Ned. Look, I hate to call on Christmas.
小事一桩
Oh, don’t worry about that.
昨天跟你叙旧很开心
It was great catching up yesterday
我想尽快把决定告诉你
and I wanted to ring you as soon as we made a decision.
好的
Okay.
我跟大家讨论过你的提案
I talked with the group here about your proposal
我们实在无法参与
and we just can’t go for it.
很抱歉 兄弟
I’m sorry, pal.
真的很感谢你给我们的友情价
We really appreciate you offering us such a sweetheart deal.
但我们现在的印刷量不多
But fact is we ‘re just not doing a whole lot of printing these days.
– 你也知道 – 对
– You know how it is. – Yes.
– 世界不同了 对吧 – 对
– It’s a whole new world, right? – Yes.
当然
Sure is.
我是很希望能跟你合作的 老大
I sure wish we could’ve done business, Cheese.
好吧 听着…
All right, listen, um,
看来我无法让你改变心意了
if you’re sure I can’t change your mind there, Don.
恐怕是如此
Yeah, unfortunately not.
好吧…
Okay. All right.
– 祝你假期愉快 – 你也是
– You have a happy holidays. – You, too, Ned!
代我问候芭芭拉和孩子们
Best to Barb and the kids.
抱歉 奈德？
Excuse me, Ned?
你的班机一小时后就要起飞了
I’m sorry to bother you, but your flight leaves in an hour.
♪ Must seem strange to you, my friend ♪
我会想你的
I’ll miss you.
♪ Some things are always heaven sent ♪
♪ The more you want, the harder it gets ♪
♪ The more you let go, the more you get ♪
♪ It’s a crazy… ♪
♪ …beautiful life ♪
♪ Some things make sense and you don’t know what ♪
♪ It’s a crazy beautiful life ♪
欢迎回来 弗莱明一家人
Welcome home, Flemings!
– 小卢 怎么… – 你们一定很冷
– Lou, what… – You guys must be freezing.
快进来 东西给我 老大
Come on, get in here. Let me get that. Come on, Cheese.
– 怎么回事？ – 芭芭拉
– Lou, what’s going on? – Barbara, hey.
嗨
Hi.
– 你气色真好 – 来了 圣诞快乐
– Barb, you look great. – There they are!
圣诞快乐…
Merry Christmas!
哇
Wow!
小卢 我有传讯息说要跟你谈谈
Um, Lou, I texted you that I needed to talk to you.
这到底是…
I mean, what’s…
少来了 你们有听到吗？
Come on, you hear this guy?
银行那个汉克鲁斯
Hank Rouse from First National
一早就留言道贺梅修那笔交易
shot me a congratulatory voicemail this morning about the Mayhew deal.
你办到了 老大
You did it, Big Cheese!
你创造了圣诞奇迹
You pulled off the Christmas miracle.
– 老大… – 老大…
– Cheese, Cheese, Cheese! – Cheese, Cheese, Cheese!
芭芭拉
Barb!
史考特
Scotty.
为了表达我们对你的感激
Ned, as a little token of our appreciation,
我们合资买♥♥了东西给你
we all chipped in and bought you something
我们很确定你没有这玩意