为什么是他？（2016）

莱德 等一下 好吗？
Laird, just hold on a second, okay?
– 慢下来 – 好
– Slow down. – Okay.
我知道史黛芬真的很喜欢你
Look, I get it that Stephanie really likes you.
但是…
But… Uh-huh.
– 我就直说了 – 好
– Look. Man to man. – Yeah.
现在不是好时机
Now is not the time.
我以为我们已经跨过那关卡了
Dude, Ned, I thought we were getting past all that.
重点不是我
No, it’s not me.
而是史黛芬
It’s all about Stephanie.
– 史黛芬？ – 对
– Stephanie? – Yes.
我不确定耶
I don’t know, dude.
最后这两学期会很辛苦
These last few semesters are gonna be so intense.
她毕业以后还要开始找工作
And then there’s graduation, and she’ll be looking for a job.
谁知道她会到哪去
And who knows where that will take her.
– 我只是… – 好吧 奈德
– It’s just… – All right, Ned…
我不该多嘴的 但是我想让你安心
I wasn’t supposed to tell you this, but I just wanna put your mind at ease.
史黛芬下学期不会回学校
Stephanie is not going back to school next semester.
什么？
What?
我知道你很震惊 不过别担心
Dude, I know you’re probably shocked, but do not worry.
有个非营利组织要给她超屌♥的工作
She’s already got this awesome job lined up at this non-profit.
是什么组织？
What organization is that exactly?
她即将成为莱德梅修基金会的董事长
She’s going to be president of the Laird Mayhew Foundation.
我的基金会
That’s me.
史黛芬
Stephanie!
老婆？
Barb?
楼上的都下来开家庭会议
Everybody upstairs right now, family meeting!
奈德 你要我安排会议吗？
Ned, would you like me to schedule a meeting?
你闪边啦
Oh, fuck off!
我是想帮忙 别老是这么难搞
Just trying to help. You don’t always have to be such an asshole.
我偏要
Yes, I do!
– 爸 – 你惨了
– Dad. – You are so dead.
闭嘴 我当然有打算告诉你
Shut up. Of course I was going to tell you.
我昨天逛街时就跟妈说了
I told Mom yesterday at the mall.
我只是在等好时机…
I was just waiting for the right time to bring it up
– 一直没机会 – 等一下
– and that hasn’t happened. – Wait a minute.
你知道了？
You knew?
老公 我们觉得你可能会抓狂
Honestly, honey, we thought you might freak out.
就决定等到过完圣诞节再说
So we decided to wait until after Christmas to bring it up.
不过他有说基金会的事吧？
But, okay, he told you about the foundation, right?
– 有 – 很好
– Yes. – Yes, okay.
这是我想要你们来见莱德的主因
This is a big part of why I wanted you to come out here and meet Laird.
女儿 就算他不是个可怜的疯子
Stephanie, even if he wasn’t this abject lunatic,
而且他就是
which he is,
我还是不懂为什么
I still wouldn’t understand why.
你只剩两学期就毕业了
You’ve only got a few semesters left before you graduate.
你为什么要放弃那一切？
Why would you just throw that away?
我没有放弃任何东西
I’m not throwing anything away, Dad.
我在中美洲当义工的这一年…
The year I spent in Central America doing this kind of work,
我知道你觉得我决定得太仓促
I know you think that I’m making some rash decision
我没有
and I’m not.
我们讨论了好几个月
We’ve spent months figuring it out.
你隐瞒你有男友的这几个月
All the months where you didn’t even tell us you had a boyfriend.
是这样吗？
All those months?
老公…
Darling…
我觉得你该听她说完
I think you should hear her out
因为听起来还蛮有意思的
because it actually sounds very interesting.
是吗？
Does it?
你愿意听我说吗？
Are you willing to listen to me?
请你说清楚
Give it your best shot.
我们打算专注在妇女健康上
The plan is to focus on women’s health
进而改善第三世界的环境…
as a function of environmental change in the Third World.
– 好 – 好吧
– Right. – All right.
当那一切失败 你会剩下什么？
And when all that goes belly-up, you know what you’re left with?
– 什么？ – 大学肄业
– What? – Being a college dropout.
– 就这样 – 你不懂
– That’s it. – You don’t get it.
我不懂？
Oh, I don’t get it?
没错 你一点都不懂
No, you just, like, don’t get it at all.
那是什么？
Oh. What is that?
[莱德]
是刺青
It’s a tattoo.
他的名字？你有刺青？
With his name? You got a tattoo?
你在身上留下印记 还是他的名字
You’ve marked your body with his name on it.
你看看 老婆
Look at that, Barb!
不…
Oh, no.
真是太…窝心了
That is so cute.
让我看 我想看
Let me see. I wanna see.
莱德说我该做包脖刺青
Laird’s been telling me I should get a neck tat.
我知道莱德的诡计了
I see what Laird is doing here.
我看透他了
I see what he’s doing.
他想挑拨我们全家
He is trying to put his imprint on this entire family.
所以我们才会有这些秘密
And that is why we’ve got all these secrets now.
都是因为他
And it’s all because of him!
你为什么就是不肯接受莱德？
Why do you have such a big problem with Laird?
– 好问题 你知道吗？ – 什么？
– Great question. You know why? – Why?
因为他的影响
Because of his influence,
你大学休学
you drop out of college.
因为他的影响 你“刺身”了
Because of his influence, you get a “too.”
你是说“刺青”吧
Dad, I think you mean “tat.”
– 当然是刺青 – 不是“刺身”？
– You definitely mean “tat.” I mean “tat?” – It’s not a “too?”
– 是刺青 不是刺身 – 不是
– “Tat.” No, it’s not a “too.” – No.
我在脱口秀看到的
No, I saw it on Geraldo.
– 他们说是“刺身” – 好吧
– They call them “toos,” okay? – Okay.
你会从此向下沉沦
This is what’s going to be your downward spiral.
你先是刺青
First you get a tattoo,
接着就会开始呼麻
then you start vaporizing.
– 什么？ – 你会呼麻
– What? – You’re vaporizing.
你在说什么？
What are you talking about?
就是…看似在抽电子烟
When you have… It’s an e-cigarette.
但里面不是烟草或假烟草
But instead of tobacco or a fake tobacco,
里面装的其实是大♥麻♥
no, you have marijuana in that e-cigarette.
– 爸 我知道那是什么 – 好
– Dad, I know what it is. – Yeah.
但你怎么会知道？
How do you know what it is?
因为我阅历丰富 对吧？
Because I’ve been around. Haven’t I?
嗯哼
Mm-hmm.
然后你会开始用海♥洛♥因♥ 没错
Then you go from there to heroin. Mm-hmm, that’s right.
你知道沉迷毒品会有什么后果吗？
After that, after you get hooked on drugs, you know what happens next?
– 什么？ – 你会变成应♥召♥妹 妓♥女♥
– What? – You’ll become a hooker, a prostitute…
站壁的
a pimp’s bitch.
你接下来就会变成那样
That’s what’s going to happen to you.
我清楚得很
I see it very clearly.
天啊…我还有多少时间？
Oh, my… How long do I have?
很高兴你问了 没多久
I’m glad you asked. Not long.
你再执迷不悟 很快就发生了
You keep going down this path, at this rate, not long.
你现在显然没办法听我说
You’re clearly not in a place to listen to me right now.
所以我要走了
So I’m gonna go.
真谢谢你的开示
Thank you, Pops, for the guidance.
– 谢谢你 – 不用客气
– Thank you. – You’re welcome.
[奈德]
♪ When the line froze, what did I see? ♪
♪ A bad mother fucker standing next to me ♪
砰
Boom!
♪ Be free like a bird so today I’ma fly ♪
♪ Bad, bad motherfucker ’til the day I die ♪
老大 让我弄清楚
Boss, let me get this straight.
你要我骇进史黛芬男友的电脑
You want me to hack into Stephanie’s boyfriend’s computer
看他有没有筹备基金会的记录？
and find out if there’s any record of him starting a foundation?
没错
Yes, I do.
你是我的资管人员 我只能找你了
Listen, Kevin, you are my IT guy. I’ve got nowhere else to turn.
你知道我一直很欣赏史黛芬
You know I’ve always thought so highly of Stephanie.
对 她也很欣赏你
Yeah, she thinks a lot about you.
真的吗？好耶
Really? Oh, yeah.
– 我好意外 – 你听好
– That’s so crazy. – Now, listen.
我知道这家伙有钱
I know that this character has money,