为什么是他？（2016）

干嘛说是应接不暇？
Why’d you tell me it was overwhelming?
是贾丝汀害的
Justine brought it up!
这个时候来看示范影片就对了
I hope this is an opportune time to show a video.
不行
It’s not.
– 天啊 – 没错
– Oh, God! – Yeah.
这是教育的时刻
Oh, and this is a teaching moment.
– 还有这个 – 我的天
– Here’s another. – Oh, my God.
– 不 史考特 – 你别看
– No. Scotty. – Don’t look at that.
你真的不用看这个
It’s all good. You don’t have to see this.
那是你本人吗？
Is that you?
不是
No.
天啊
Oh, my God.
♪ We alive right now, now ♪
♪ Let’s get hot right now ♪
♪ We don’t give a damn about money ♪
♪ We alive right now ♪
♪ All we do is party, party ♪
♪ And get hot right now ♪
你还好吗？
Are you okay?
爽啦
Yeah!
来吧 孩子的爸 你行的
Come on, Daddy. You’re okay!
我需要休息一下…
Okay, I just need to take a breather. One…
♪ Do it again… ♪
♪ Lost my mind, I’m a lose it again ♪
我爱这小子
I love this kid.
我的天
Oh, my God!
♪ Rage, rage the night away ♪
♪ Forget about the money I spent today ♪
♪ Rage, rage the night away ♪
吃我一记滴滴梯 爱死你了
DDT your ass. I love you, dawg.
♪ Forget about the money I spent today ♪
爸
Hi, Pops.
– 我需要透透气 – 我陪你去
– I just need some fresh air. – Can I come?
我们俩总是有话直说吧？
We’ve always been straight with each other, haven’t we?
当然了
Yeah, of course.
我必须认真地问你一个问题
Okay, I need to ask you a question. And I mean this honestly.
好 什么？
Okay. What?
– 你吓到我了 – 只是…
– You’re scaring me. – No. It’s just…
什么？
What?
为何挑莱德？
Why Laird?
– 说真的 – 天啊
– I mean, come on. – Oh, my God.
– 为什么？ – 爸
– Why? – Dad.
我们把你生得聪明又漂亮
You are so smart and you’re beautiful.
你谁不拍拖 偏偏选莱德？
You could be dating anyone. Why?
– 我不懂 – 你要真♥相♥？
– I don’t get it. – You want the truth?
对
Yes.
他让我想到你
He kind of reminds me of you.
什么？
What?
– 我？ – 对
– Me? – Yes.
好 拜托你解释一下
Okay, I need you to explain that one.
怎么会？
How?
你们都是我所认识最真诚的人
You’re both the most honest and authentic men that I know.
– 只是表现方式不同 – 这…
– It comes out in totally different ways. – Oh, well…
莱德口无遮拦
Laird has literally no filter.
我都没发现 真的吗？
I don’t know that to be true. Is that right?
– 好吧 – 抱歉
– Okay. – Sorry.
我是想帮你
Trying to help you out here.
但我发誓他有副好心肠
But I swear his heart is always in the right place.
他是很好的人
He’s a very good guy.
而且我爱他
And I love him.
你爱他？
You love him?
什么？
What?
我在消化
I’m processing.
– 我们有… – 真好笑 爸
– We had the… – Very funny, Dad.
好啦…
Okay. Okay.
试着友善一点
Just try to be cordial.
我会的
I will. I’ll try.
– 我会试的 – 试什么？
– Okay? I’ll try. – Try to what?
我会试着…
I’ll try to just…
多了解那个人
…understand that person better.
来吧
Come here.
嘿
Hey.
嗨
Hi.
今晚真累人 你在做什么？
Long night. What are you doing?
放松啊
Just chilling.
那是我的衬衫吗？
Barb, is that my shirt?
不知道耶 是吗？
I don’t know, is it?
要我把它脱掉吗？
Want me to take it off?
麻烦你 我只带了两件衬衫
Would you, please? I only brought two dress shirts.
我真的很不想在旅行时烫衣服
I really don’t feel like ironing while I’m on this trip.
累死我了
I’m so exhausted.
好耶
Oh, yeah.
脱吧 宝贝
Take it off, baby.
快脱吧 脱掉那双鞋
Yeah! Take it off. Take off those shoes, girl.
让我看那双脚 我要看那双脚
Let me see those feet. I wanna see those feet!
你撞到头了吗？
Did you hit your head or something?
好耶 让我闻闻那鞋子
Yeah. Let me smell that shoe.
– 你不会想闻它的 – 我要闻
– You don’t wanna smell my shoe. – Yeah, I want feet!
我要袜子离开那双脚
I want those feet out of those socks.
老婆 你是怎么了？
Barb, what happened to you?
我现在正嗨呢
I am so stoned right now.
什么？
What?
对 我好嗨
Yeah, I am so baked.
我嗨翻天了
I am like super baked.
什么？你在哪里抽的？
Barb. What? Where did you?
你们离开以后 我好孤单
I was very lonely after you guys left.
我看到一个家伙拿着烟
And I saw this guy, and he had a cigarette.
我以为是那种电动的烟
I thought it was one of those electronic cigarettes.
– 那叫电子烟 – 对啦
– They’re called E-cigs. – Yeah.
没想到…
But turns out…
我在呼麻
I was vaping.
什么？
What?
我在呼麻
I was vaping.
什么啦？
What is that?
从那机器里面跑出来的是大♥麻♥
It’s marijuana that comes out of some kind of machine.
– 你小声一点 – 那是合法的
– Keep your voice down! – Ned, it’s legal.
那个小可怜有睡眠呼吸中止症
Oh, this poor boy had it for sleep apnea.
– 这年纪耶？真惨 – 我要睡了
– At his age? So sad. – I’m going to bed. That’s it.
不行 等等
No, no, no. Wait!
– 老婆 我累了 – 等一下
– Barbara, I’m tired. – Wait a minute.
我的头也在痛
And I’ve got a headache.
– 我们来玩一下 – 不了
– Let’s play a little bit, huh? – No, no.
看我使出我招牌的马杀鸡
I’ll give you one of my patented massages.
老婆
Barb. Let’s take the Little Cheese
– 让小老大出来玩嘛 – 不…
– out for a spin. – No, no, no.
– 来嘛 露个脸 – 不要
– Come on, let me just see him. – Don’t.
– 我想看嘛 – 别帮它乱取名字
– I just want to see him. – Don’t call him that.
拜托啦
Please. Come on.
天啊 你以前很爱嗨后乱性的
Oh, my God! You used to love getting high and fooling around.
什么？不要…
What? Barb! No, Barb.
– 我们在度假 – 可能有人会经过…
– We’re on vacation! – But someone could walk…
那道门没有锁
There’s no locks on the door!
什么？
What?
贾丝汀 有吻乐团的歌♥吗？
Justine! Do you have any Kiss?
当然有罗
Oh, hell yeah!
– 你们要做吗？ – 对
– Are you kids gonna do it? – Yes.
– 不对 – 我们已经在做了
– No. – We’re doing it already.
– 我们正在做 – 老婆
– We’re doing it right now. – Barb!
我正在用黄金右脚做
I’m doing it with my feet. One foot.
是吻乐团 老公 你的最爱
That’s Kiss! Honey, you love Kiss!
现在不要啦
But not right now.
♪ 奈德为爱芭芭拉而生 ♪
♪ Ned was made for loving Barb ♪
叫吧
Yell!
好耶…
Yeah. Yeah.
– 你看我在派对学到的 – 什么？
– Look what I learned at the party. – What?
有个很可爱的女生一直这样
There was this real cute girl, and she was going like this.