情挑六月花

白色宫殿
小麦 我是尼尔 别忘了带汉堡 伙计
Maxie, it’s Neil. Don’t forget the burgers, pal.
橄榄街和十八街拐角 七点半就能好
Corner of Olive and 18th. It’ll be ready at 7:30.
我是妈妈
Hello. It’s your mother.
别忘了明天我们去拜访珍妮
Don’t forget tomorrow we visit Janey.
四点你要来店里接我
You’ll pick me up at the store at 4:00.
你在吗
Hello?
在吗
Hello?
太棒了
All right!
麦克斯
Max!
麦克斯 麦克斯来了
Max! Max is here!
白色宫殿的汉堡来了
White Palace burgers!
-你喝点儿什么 -苏打水
– What are you drinking? – Soda.
喝什么苏打水 这可是单身派对
Come on! Soda! It’s a bachelor party.
我要结婚了
I’m getting married.
还有我呢 我也想要一个
Hey, what about me? I want one.
麦克斯 这里有些盒子是空的
Hey, Max, some of these boxes are empty, man.
什么
What?
该死 你看
Son of a bitch. Look at this.
有三 四个都是空的
I got three… four of them.
怎么可能是空的
How could they be empty?
还有吗 五个
What’s that? Five?
六个 总共六个空盒子
I got six, six empty boxes.
该死 我应该先数一下的 抱歉
Shit. I should’ve counted them. Sorry.
没事的 不过是四十九美分一个的汉堡
Come on. It’s a 49-cent burger.
我回去 你想要汉堡还是退钱
I’m going back. You want burgers or money?
-你疯了吗 -他在说什么
– Are you crazy? – What’s he talking about?
你没事儿吧 我们在开派对
What’s the matter with you? We’re having a party!
我要结婚了
I’m getting married.
我们被耍了 尼尔
We’ve been crapped on, Neil.
那有什么问题
What is the trouble?
问题是你们根本没原则
The trouble is you don’t give a damn about principle.
你在开玩笑吗 我是个律师
Are you kidding? I’m a lawyer.
打扰一下
Excuse me.
队尾在那边
End of the line’s over there.
-我不买♥♥东西 -排队去 弗雷德
– I’m not buying anything. – Get in line, Fred.
弗雷德·阿斯泰尔 二十世纪好莱坞电影明星
请看看袋子里的东西
Look inside the sack, please.
等轮到你再说 2.35美元
When it’s your turn. $2.35.
我觉得我不需要排队
I don’t think I need to get in line.
我已经排过队了
I already was in line.
我买♥♥了五十个汉堡 你只给我了四十四个
I bought 50 burgers. You only gave me 44,
所以我不觉得我应该排队
so I don’t think I have to wait in line.
-是这样吗 -是的
– Is that so? – That is so.
看 六个空盒子 我要退钱 这是收据
Look. Six empties. I want my money back. Here’s the receipt.
我怎么知道你不是私吞了这些汉堡
And how do I know you didn’t gobble up those burgers?
然后说我们没有给你
You say we didn’t …
因为我不占便宜 我也不会撒谎
Because I don’t gobble and I don’t lie.
你给了我六个空盒子
You gave me six empty boxes.
我买♥♥了五十个汉堡 你给我了四十四个
I bought 50 burgers. You gave me 44.
这有什么问题
What’s the problem?
退钱 还是我去找经理
Do I get my money back or go to the manager?
你可以闻闻这些盒子 给
Smell the boxes. Here.
如果装过白色宫殿的汉堡
If there had been White Palaces inside,
盒子就会有味道 对吗
the boxes would stink, wouldn’t they?
亲爱的 我满鼻子都是白色宫殿的味儿
Honey, my nose is so full of White Palaces,
就算凑到脸前我也闻不出来
I couldn’t smell one shoved in my face.
伙计 我想买♥♥一下汉堡
Buddy, I’d like to get my hamburgers.
你能不要烦这位阿斯泰尔先生吗
Will you leave Mr. Astaire alone?
他正上报抢劫呢
He’s trying to report a robbery here.
谢谢
Thank you.
下一位
Next.
你是犹太人吗 我猜的
Are you Jewish? I’m just guessing.
这不是”诚实的亚伯”吗
It’s Honest Abe!
我把钱要回来了 尼尔
I got the money back, Neil.
你该用那些钱去看心理医生了
You’ll need it for therapy.
你真是个疯子
You’re a nutcase.
女士们先生们
Ladies and gentlemen,
请允许我向大家介绍
may I introduce…
未来的尼尔·霍罗威茨夫人
the future Mrs. Neil Horowitz?
该死 她可真胖
Damn. She is fat.
她也一直会这么胖
She is always going to be fat,
但她非常可爱
but she’s a very sweet woman.
麦克斯 看
Max, look.
是你
It’s you.
拉小提琴的麦克斯 你可真棒 伙计
Max with the fiddle. You were good, man.
你真棒
You were good.
麦克斯
Max!
小提琴手啊
It’s the fiddler.
斯特拉文斯基大♥师♥
Oh, Stravinsky.
下一张是谁
What’s next?
这是谁
Who is that?
是玛姬·布朗吗
Is that Margie Brown?
不 这是珍妮
No. It’s Janey.
看她多年轻
Look how young she is.
你什么时候开始跟她约会的 幼儿园吗
When did you start going out with her? Kindergarten?
差不多吧
Something like that. Yeah.
她真漂亮
She was beautiful.
克卢格曼 你那儿还有什么
Klugman, what else you got back there, huh?
拉里
Larry.
快点儿 快点儿
Come on. Come on!
卡住了 稍等
It’s stuck. Give me a second.
谁能开一下灯吗
Could somebody flip the light switch?
麦克斯 再来一杯威士忌吧 伙计
Max, have another scotch, buddy.
来 谁还想再来一杯
Let’s see. Who wants another one?
你都要变成狄更斯小说里疯狂的老女人了
You’re turning into the crazy old woman from Dickens,
就是穿着婚纱坐着
the one who sits around in her wedding dress
沉浸在该死的悲伤里的那个
cherishing her fucking grief.
郝薇香
Havisham.
没错 你就要变成她了
Yeah. That’s who you’re turning into.
你上次约会是什么时候
When’s the last time you had a date?
如果我跟你说
What if I told you…
我现在对滚床单不感兴趣了呢
I wasn’t interested in getting laid right now?
想要滚床单是人之常情
Interest in getting laid is the human condition,
看在上帝份上 麦克斯
for Christ’s sakes, Max.
你周围都是机会
It’s all around you.
海蒂·所罗门
Heidi Solomon.
得了吧
Oh, please.
她每天都对你垂涎三尺
She salivates over you every day.
丽塔·菲什曼 她很漂亮
Rita Fishman… she’s gorgeous.
她会跟你…
She would sleep…
如果我选择独身
If I choose to be celibate,
那跟你没关系
that’s not your business.
我们说的可不是什么独身
This isn’t celibacy we’re talking about.
那他妈的是恋尸
It’s fucking necrophilia.
晚安 尼尔
Good night, Neil.
-派对很棒 -谢谢 谢谢 麦克斯
– Great party. – Yeah. Thanks. Thanks, Max.
你这种自怨自艾的态度
You’re feeling sorry for yourself.
让我想吐
Makes me want to puke!
芝华士加点冰
Chivas and a splash.
还真巧啊
Some coincidence, huh?
什么
What?
我给你点儿提示 弗雷德
I’ll give you a hint, Fred.
我可不是琴吉·罗杰斯[电影演员]
I ain’t exactly Ginger Rogers.
天啊 不是吧
Oh, no.
不是吗
Oh, no, huh?
是啊
Yeah.
不是什么
Oh, no, what?
我不知道 就是不是吧
I don’t know. Just oh, no.
你来这破地方干什么
What are you doing in a dump like this?
来找麻烦吗
You looking for trouble?