小姐好白（2004）

他在看我的屁♥股♥，好像我是个女孩似的 – 你现在就是一个女孩
He was looking at my ass like I’m a girl. -You are a girl!
你最好装得像一点 不然你就要被解雇了
And you better start acting like one or you’re going to be an unemployed girl.
这个真不错
Damn. I’d sure like to cut that cake.
你拿着
Here, yo, hold this!
嘿，你在看我的大腿吗？
Hey, you trying to look at my lumps?
要不要我把 G 型内♥裤♥脱下来！
I’ll pull off my G-string and handle mine.
要不要？ – 凯文，葛迈茨过来了
I’ll handle mine. -Kevin, it’s Gomez.
欢迎来到皇家汉姆顿大酒店
Welcome to the Royal Hamptons Hotel.
包在车子里，乔什 – 我的名字是，葛迈茨
The bags are in the car, Jose. -The name is Gomez.
随便啦 – 来，拿着我的宝贝狗
Whatever. -Yeah, great. Here. Take Baby.
把包也擦擦 这个小家伙会到处拉屎的
Clean out his bag. Poor thing just pooped everywhere.
教教他“塔科狗”怎么说
And teach him how to say, “Quiero Taco Bell.”
谢谢，瑞科·绥幅，格雷茨 – 谢谢，茱丽奥
Thanks a lot, Rico Suave. Grazie. -Thanks, Julio.
愿意效劳，女士
Right away, ma’am.
甜心，你慢点走
Sweetie, you’ve got to slow up with those Cosmos.
布莱尼和蒂芙妮·威尔森，登记
Brittany and Tiffany Wilson, checking in.
不好意思，它们是新做的
Sorry. They’re new.
朵弗曼医生干得很不错 – 感觉非常的逼真
Dr. Dorfman did an amazing job. -They feel so real.
你好，请出示你们的信♥用♥卡♥
Hi. Yeah, I just… I need a credit card, please.
和身份证
And some lD, please.
信♥用♥卡♥？身份证？
Credit card? ID?
我实在是受不了了
I’m so fricking pissed.
女士，我只是… – 首先
Ma’am, l– -First of all…
我去朵弗曼医生那里 他把我的鼻子搞砸了
I go to Dr. Dorfman. He totally messes up my nose job.
我让他把我搞成像格馁斯·帕特洛一样
I ask him to make me look like Gwyneth Paltrow.
我下了手术台，结果变得像怪物史莱克！
I get off the surgery table looking like freaking Shrek.
然后，我到了这里，哈博先生…
Then I get here, and Mr. Harper…
让我觉得自己是带着假胸愚蠢的金发女人
makes me feel like I’m some dumb blonde with fake boobs…
来参加一个盛大的海福那派对
going to a Hugh Hefner party.
不，我没有冒犯的意思
No. I didn’t mean to offend you.
这只是规定 – 我一定有 B.F.
It’s just protocol. -I’m going to have a B.F.
天哪，她有一张丑女人的脸
My God. She’s going to have a bitch fit.
不，我没有这个意思
No. Don’t have a B.F. now–
我要和你的总管谈话 或者，我要写信投诉
I want to speak to your supervisor. Better yet, I’m going to write a letter.
女士，你不需要这么做 – 你的麻烦大了
Miss, there’s no reason to– -You are in big trouble.
“亲爱的…
“Dear Mr…
“皇家汉姆顿的总管
“Royal Hampton.
“我是一名美国的…
“l am a white woman…
“白人女性” – 女士们，这里有问题吗？
“in America.” -Ladies, is there a problem here?
是的 – 没有
Yes. -No.
这里没什么问题
There’s no problem.
这两位是我们的贵宾
These are two of our VlP guests.
把钥匙给她们，现在！
Issue them keys. Immediately.
是的，先生
Yes, sir.
VIP！学学这是什么意思！
VlP. Learn your acronyms.
你人真好 – 给你，祝你们愉快
What a sweetheart. -Here you are. Enjoy your stay.
有人说过你长得像丹佐·华盛顿吗？
Has anyone ever told you you look just like Denzel Washington?
是的，我听过一两次
Yes, actually I have heard it once or twice.
真是个漂亮的好男人
What a beautiful chocolate man.
漂亮，天哪
Beautiful. God.
差点就被发现了 – 是的
That was close. -Yeah.
她们在向我们招手吗？ – 我不知道
Are they waving at us? -I don’t know.
我们该怎么办？ – 客套一下吧
What are we going to do? -Just act friendly.
天哪！
My God.
不要装得不认识我们
Well, don’t act like you don’t know us.
凯伦，利萨，桃丽
Karen, Lisa, Tori.
哦，天哪
Oh, my God.
我们好久不见了
I haven’t seen you in forever.
才过了一年
It’s only been a year.
你的头发怎么了？
Did you do something different to your hair?
没怎么呀 – 你胖吗？
No. -You gain weight?
没有 – 我知道了，你刚过了生日
No. -I know! You just had a birthday.
是的 – 看起来就是的，我早知道了
Yeah. -Totally. Total fire sign. I knew it.
我早就知道了 – 等一下
I totally knew it. -Wait a minute.
你们两个…
There is definitely…
肯定有什么不同
something different about the two of you.
整容
Collagen.
你个机灵鬼，你怎么知道的？
You little witch. How did you know?
这很显然呀 你的嘴唇从卡麦珑·迪亚茨变成了凯茨
Duh, it’s totally obvious. Your lips went from Cameron Diaz to Jay-Z.
你还长高了
You got taller, too.
我们整过膝盖
We got our knees done.
可以这样吗？
You can do that?
你也应该做做 – 是呀
You should do that. -Yes.
女士们，见到你们很高兴，再见
Well, it was really good seeing you ladies. Bye.
你们要去哪里？
Excuse me. Where do you think you’re going?
去梳洗一下
To go freshen up.
汉姆顿杂♥志♥的招待会刚刚开始 我们去看看
The Hamptons Magazine reception just started, so let’s hit it.
嘿，看那里
Hey, check it out.
那是威尔森姐妹吗？
Are those the Wilson sisters?
感觉更像威尔特·查普林姐妹 没注意过他们有这么巨型
More like the Wilt Chamberlain sisters. I never noticed how big they are.
但是我还能上
But I’d still bone.
天哪，海泽在那里
My God. There’s Heath.
伙计，你刚在向凯伦·格斯坦 和肥皂剧产业的继承人打招呼吗？
Dude, are you hitting Karen Googlestein, the soap heiress, too?
你怎么老是这么摇摆不定
How do you keep that shit dangling?
我一直告诉她我会和现在的女友分手
I keep telling her I’m going to break up with my girl.
海泽最好不好发现
You better hope Heather doesn’t find out.
她不会的
She won’t.
至少在我和她父亲干完这一票之前不会
At least until I wrap up this big deal with her father.
嘿，先生
Hey, Mr. V.
看，她们在那里 讨厌的一对姐妹
And look, there they are. The fen-phen twins.
她们看起来不错
They’re hot.
什么，你们瞎了吗
What, are you blind?
那是海泽和梅根·凡德高
That’s Heather and Megan Vandergeld.
你们的死敌 是从八岁开始的吗？
Your sworn enemies since you were like, I don’t know. Eight?
我说的是不错吗？我说的是不行
Did I say hot? I meant not.
我恨死他们了 – 你们听过有关梅根的吗？
I totally hate them. -Did you guys hear about Megan?
她在萨克斯的柜台被保安拦住了 想顺手牵走一件威欧那
She got stopped by security at Saks trying to pull a Winona.
天哪，来吧
God. Come on.
这会很有趣 – 让开
This is going to be fun. -Move.
看看是谁从比华利山的平民窟过来了
Look who just flew in from the slums of Beverly Hills.
是比华利壶
It’s The Beverly Ho-billies.
羞辱我？ – 最好不要
Squeeze me? -No, you didn’t.
我很抱歉，看到了你最新的录影带
I’m sorry, but we just saw your new video.
在萨克斯第五大道百货公♥司♥有摄像头
They had a screening over at Saks Fifth Avenue…
在保安科
in the security office.
录下了一起偷窃
A klept-ho-maniac.
原来你妈妈在萨克斯购物
Your mother shops at Saks.
什么？
What?
哦，天哪，你要谈谈母亲是吗？
My God. You want to talk about mothers?
你要谈谈母亲是吗？
You want to talk about mothers.
好，我们就来谈谈母亲
It’s mother time. Okay.
你妈妈很愚蠢 她去医生那里去乳♥头♥染色
Your mother’s so dumb she went to Dr. Dre for a Pap smear.
“不对了，医生 我的乳♥头♥漏了”
“Something’s wrong, Dr. Dre. My coochie’s doing a beatbox.”
是吗？好吧，你妈很蠢
Yeah? Well, your mother is so stupid…
她天天拼命锻炼
she exercises when she could just get…
也不知道一个抽脂手术就全解决了
Iiposuction or something.
你妈妈老得奶都成粉了 你就是这么吃奶的吧
Your mother’s so old that her breast milk is powdered. You breast-feed like this.
你妈妈很…
Your mother is so, like….
她很…
She’s so….
梅根，你来
Megan, you go.
你妈很蠢…
Your mother is so stupid…
她跑去餐馆吃饭…
that she goes to Barneys Rooftop Deck Restaurant for lunch…
结果连菜的名字都叫不对
and orders a nicoise salad and calls it a “ni-coise” salad.
连个沙拉的名字都说不对
“Ni-coise” salad, right?
你妈妈的屁♥股♥上毛太多了…
Your mother’s ass is so hairy…
看起来就像要跳出来个人 说：只有美国有！
it looks like Don King’s about to pop out and say, “Only in America!”
你妈妈很蠢…
Your mother’s so stupid…
以至于他跑去古希的商店 却要买♥♥别的牌子如芬蒂之类的
that she goes into Gucci and she tries to buy, like, Fendi and stuff.
梅根，海泽，过来孩子 你们怎么这样和客人说话？
Megan, Heather. Come on now, girls. Is this any way to speak to your guests?
布莱尼和蒂芙妮·威尔森
Brittany and Tiffany Wilson.