伯纳黛特你去了哪（2019）

伯纳黛特你去了哪
你有听过这种说法吗 人的大脑
Have you ever heard that the brain
就像一种折扣机制
is like a discounting mechanism?
比如有人送你一份礼物
Say someone gives you a present
是一串钻石项链
and it’s a diamond necklace
打开盒子的瞬间你便爱上了它
and you open it and you love it.
你一开始会非常开心 但是第二天
You’re all happy at first and then the next day
虽然还是非常开心 但程度不如昨日
it still makes you happy but a little bit less so.
一年后 你再看到这串项链
A year later, you see the necklace
你会想 “天呐 那个老玩意”
and you think, “Oh, that old thing.”
你知道人的大脑为什么会自动给东西打折吗
And do you know why your brain discounts things?
是为了生存
It’s for survival.
你需要为新的体验做准备
You need to be prepared for new experiences
因为它们可能意味着危险
because they could signal danger.
要是能重新设置这个机制就好了
Wouldn’t it be great if we could reset that
毕竟没有那么多剑齿虎会跳出来
since there aren’t a lot of saber-toothed tigers
威胁我们
jumping out at us?
我们的大脑似乎有设计缺陷
Seems like a design flaw
默认设置是识别危险信♥号♥♥
that our brain’s default settings signal danger
和求生信♥号♥♥ 而不是类似
and survival instead of something like
快乐或欣赏的感情
joy or appreciation.
我觉得我妈妈就是如此
I think that’s what happened to my mom.
她过分专注于接收危险信♥号♥♥
She got so focused on picking up danger signals
她的折扣机制已经忘记了
that her discounting mechanism forgot to see
她生命中所有美好的事
all the good stuff in her life.
或许爸爸也已经放弃去发现
And maybe Dad had quit seeing
妈妈身上如项链般美好的品质了
the diamond necklace side of Mom.
五周前
你知道我表现得有多坚强了吗
Do you have any idea how strong I’m being?
你想去寄宿学校
How much my heart is breaking
你知道我的心有多痛吗
’cause you want to go off to boarding school?
如果你不想让我去上寄宿学校
If you didn’t want me to go away to boarding school,
那你不应该跟我说得好像那边很有趣
you shouldn’t have made it sound like so much fun.
是啊 行吧 成我的错了
Ugh, yeah, right. So it’s my fault.
居然加载不出来我的健身数据 好了
It’s not loading my workout. Got it.
你们还记得吗 你们跟我许诺
Do you guys remember when you told me
如果我的初中成绩一直很优秀
if I got perfect grades all the way through middle school
我就可以提出任何要求
I could have anything I wanted
作为毕业礼物
as a graduation present?
我…
I…
我们说过吗
D-Did we say that?
我想那是为了避免再谈小马的事
I think it was to ward off any further talk of a pony.
好吧 那是我小时候想要的
Well, that’s what I wanted when I was little.
现在我想要的是完全不同的东西
Now I want something completely different.
想知道是什么吗
You wanna know what it is?
不好说 我们想知道吗
I don’t know. Do we?
需要离开房♥子吗
Does it entail leaving the house?
全家去南极旅行
A family trip to Antarctica!
我们要在圣诞期间去
We have to go over Christmas break.
一个月后吗
As in a month?
显而易见 那时候是南极的夏天
Oh, yeah. Obviously, ’cause it’s their summer.
也是唯一能去的时候
It’s about the only time you could go.
嗯 小马很可爱的
Yeah, ’cause ponies are cute
对比起来也不如我们想的那么麻烦
and maybe not as much trouble as we thought.
妈妈你怎么想
What do you say there, Mom?
现在去时机不合适吧
Isn’t this a bad time
你不是工作很忙吗
for you because of work?
我们在学校里学习了南极
We’re studying Antarctica in school.
我读了很多探险者日记
I’ve read all the explorers’ journals,
我的期末演讲要介绍探险家沙克尔顿
and I’m doing my final presentation on Shackleton.
现在去时机正合适
And now is a good time to go
赶在又一个冰盖崩塌
before another ice sheet collapses
整个冰川融化之前
and the whole thing melts.
天呐 真不敢相信你们居然都没拒绝
Oh, my God. I can’t believe neither of you are saying no.
我在等你拒绝 你讨厌旅行
I’m waiting for you. You hate traveling.
我在等你拒绝 你得工作
I w-was waiting for you. You have to work.
天呐 这就是”同意” 我们要去了
Oh, my God. That’s a “yes”. We’re going!
等等 真的是”同意”吗
Wait, wait. Is that really a “yes”?
我想是的
I guess it is.
技术上说
On a technicality.
窄门女校
建于1832年
1972年2月16日被定为西雅图市地标建筑
我曾经读到过海豚
I read once dolphins operate
在复杂的社会秩序中的行为模式
in this complicated social order
它们的关系有同盟 敌人 执法者 招募者
with alliances and enemies and enforcers, recruiters.
几乎像是黑♥手♥党♥ 或者高中生
Almost like the Mafia, or maybe high school.
有时候甚至还会打架
They even battle sometimes,
用尾巴猛击对方的头部
where they bash each other over the heads with their tails.
为什么所有聪明的生物都要把自己
Why do all the smart creatures organize themselves
编排进这些奇怪的社会框架里呢
in these weird social structures?
奥德丽包办盖勒街学校的一切事务
Audrey does everything at Galer Street.
她创办了多样性委员会
She created the Diversity Council.
她举办了儿童马拉松比赛
She set up Marathon Kids.
发明了父亲甜甜圈活动
She invented Donuts for Dads.
妈妈有次报名想当幼儿园班级家长
Mom once signed up to be the kindergarten room parent, but
但我想其他”海豚”狠狠揍了她的脑袋
I think she got bashed over the head by the other dolphins.
还有个选择是放几头猪
Another option is a few pigs.
-几头猪 真的吗 -对
– Pigs? Really? – Yeah.
一周后它们就会把这些黑莓
In a week, they’ll pull out these blackberries
连根拔起毁坏掉
by the root and then some.
有什么需要帮助的吗
Can I help you with something?
你好 伯纳黛特
Oh, hi, Bernadette.
我不知道你在家
I didn’t know you were home.
显然
Apparently.
是的
Yeah.
希望你别介意 我叫了汤姆
I hope you don’t mind, I called Tom.
他是黑莓藤蔓处理专家
He’s a blackberry abatement specialist.
我本来在花♥园♥里修剪多年生植物
I was in my garden cutting back the perennials
打算种点冬季花卉
and planting some winter color
为了那个…
in preparation for the, uh,
我为盖勒街学校的潜在学生家长
the Galer Street brunch that I’m hosting
举办的早午餐会
for the prospective parents.
你看电邮了吗
Have you been reading the emails?
能不看就不看
Not if I can help it.
是这样 黑莓藤从墙下面长过来了
Yeah. Well, the blackberry vines are coming under the wall.
在这里这种事倒不罕见
Not at all uncommon around here.
它们会深入植物的根茎 像竹子那样
They get into the root system like bamboo,
非常有侵略性
super invasive.
我们在考虑处理它们的最佳方式
We’re just trying to figure out what best to do about it.
给你
Yeah, here.
我叫汤姆
It’s Tom.
伯纳黛特·福克斯
Bernadette Fox.
没有名片
No card.
有天早上 我正在肥料堆那里
I was in my compost pile one morning,
差点遭到它们的攻击
and I was practically attacked.
你知道 不光是在肥料堆里
You know, not just in my compost, but,
它们已经蔓延进了我的菜地
you know, it’s gotten into my raised vegetable beds,
我的温室 你看 甚至虫箱里都有
my greenhouse, which you saw, even my worm bins.
是的 要铲除这么多藤蔓 还在这种坡地上
Yeah, I mean, to get rid of this many, with this kind of slope…
我也不想用任何毒物
And I don’t want to use anything toxic.
就是不用除草剂之类的东西
You know, no weed killers or anything like that.
好吧 如果你不想用猪的话
Right. And if you don’t wanna use the pigs,
我想我会推荐
I think I’d wanna go with, uh,
CXJ山坡用并联式打谷机
CXJ Hillside Side-Arm Thrasher.
我这里没有 我得租一台
I don’t have one myself. I’d have to rent one.
好吧 我很乐意请汤姆来
Okay, I’m happy to use Tom here
除掉所有跟黑莓相关的东西
to remove all things blackberry.
我想已经没什么要说的了
I think we’re done.
幸会 夫人
Nice to meet you, ma’am.
谢谢 尽快哦
Thank you. And soon?
猪如果擅自进入会被我报♥警♥逮捕
Any pigs will be arrested for trespassing.
天呐