怎样都行（2009）

艾什力 那个笨蛋
Ashley. what an imbecile!
我受不了他 也受不了他老婆
I couldn’t stand him, I couldn’t stand his wife,
那个老妇还脚踏两只船
That goody two-shoes, sexual nothing.
斯佳丽 就是个绿眼睛的贱♥货♥
Scarlett, bitch that she was, with those green eyes…
你知道
You know,
我首次比赛穿的像斯佳丽·奥哈拉
I came in first dressed as Scarlett O’Hara in one of the pageants.
比赛
Pageant?
我妈妈总让我参加选美比赛
My Mom always used to keep me busy in all these beauty contests.
所以我没怎么上学
That’s why I didn’t get to schooling much.
好吧 我建议你:回家
All right, my advice to you, go back home.
不 我才不回家呢
Oh, no, I’m never going back home.
这场愚蠢的抵抗不到3天就会失败的
You’re a brainless little twit who won’t last 3 days in New York.
如果不是我心怀仁慈
You’d be dead now of starvation if I
你就要饿死街头了
Hadn’t a heart as big as all outdoors.
马里奥先生 反正我不回家
I can’t go back home, Mr. Muggeridge.
-别再叫我马里奥 -这不是你的名字吗
– alright, stop calling me Muggeridge. – but that’s your name.
我不叫这名字 我叫叶博里斯
No, it’s not my name. my name is Boris Yellnikoff.
我用的是别名 谁知道你的底细
I was using an alias. I thought, who knows,
可能是个塔♥利♥班♥也说不定
You might be from the taliban or something.
我能留下吗
Can I stay here?
留下? 你疯了吗 你几岁啊
Stay here? what’re you? nuts? how old are you?
-我21岁 -21岁?
– I’m twenty-one. – twenty-one? yeah.
21岁 我还在扬基队打球呢
You’re twenty-one like I play for the yankees. twenty-one!
你是瘸子 怎么能当运动员
You’re a professional athlete with that limp?
-天哪 -反正我不回去
– oh, christ! – alright, look, I don’t wanna go back.
我要在纽约开展新生活
Okay? I wanna make a new life here in New York.
你会像那些亚洲人一样沦为妓♥女♥…
You’ll wind up a prostitute, like those Asian girls…
来时满怀希望
Who come here full of high hopes.
后来为了生活开始变戏法
And then they wind up turning tricks to keep alive.
有些长的还蛮好看的
And many of them are actually good-looking.
真有意思 你说到变戏法 我会变魔术
That’s so funny you just mentioned tricks, you know, I do magic.
真的 我可以表演給你看 我要…你有丝巾吗
I do, I can show you, I just need… do you have any silk handkerchiefs?
有些时候 你…
Yeah, you know, some other time, you’re…
你是个可爱的孩子 理解力能力差
Look, you’re a sweet kid. stupid beyond all comprehension,
你没法谋生的
But you’ll never survive here.
你什么特长都没有 一切都是零 虚无
You got nothing going for you. zero. zilch.
也许在南部你是选美冠军
You know, you may be beauty contest material in the deep south,
但这次比赛规模很大 我给你评3分
But this is the big time. here, you’re a three.
梳洗一番之后 可能給你5分
A five maybe after you bathe.
你拖着瘸腿在扬基队打球?
Did you get that limp playing for the yankees?
傻孩子 没脑子的笨蛋
Imbecile child. brainless inchworm.
我没进过扬基队 那是讽刺你
I didn’t play for the yankees! I was being sarcastic before.
-我以为你说真的 -是啊
– oh, you… I took it seriously. – yes.
我经常搞笑 在教会活动中 我演过两次小丑
I usually get jokes, at the church’s social, I was the comedian twice.
-我就是个笑料 -是吗?
– I’ve a way with jokes. yes. – really?
-别烦我了 滚出去 -不 马里奥先生
– spare me and just get out. – no, mr. Muggeridge…
别叫我马里奥 都跟你解释过了
Stop calling me muggeridge, okay? I already explained that!
我知道…对不起 我只是…
I know, I know. I’m sorry. I just…
找到落脚的地方前 我要找个地方暂住
I just need a place to stay for a few nights, till I get on my feet.
我没地方能去
I don’t have anywhere to go.
你把我赶出去 我就只能跟着亚洲人卖♥♥淫了
And if you throw me out and I wind up an asian prostitute,
你会良心不安的
That’s gonna be on your conscience.
我投降 睡沙发吧 笨蛋
I give up. sleep on the couch, imbecile.
诺贝尔奖准得主和邋遢细菌的对话
I’m too tired to prolong this brutal exchange…
真是驴头不对马嘴
Between a bedraggled microbe and a nobel-level thinker.
-别打扰我 -好的 我保证
– keep out of my way. – I will, I promise.
我梳洗一下
I’m just gonna use the little girl’s to freshen up,
然后就睡觉
And then I’m gonna go right to sleep.
好 好 梳洗一下
Yes, yes, use the little girl’s. freshen up.
别忘了给服务员小费
Don’t forget to tip the attendant.
-不会的 谢谢 马…-什么
– I won’t. thank you so much, mr. m… – oh, what?
-又要叫我马里奥了? -不是
– you were gonna say Muggeridge again? – no!
我叫叶博里斯 你再叫我一次马里奥
It’s Boris Bellnikoff! you call me muggeridge one more time,
我就把你从窗户扔出去
I’m gonna throw you out the goddamn window.
-你介意我看电视吗 -我介意 笨蛋
– do you mind if I watch a little tv? – yes, I do, simpleton.
我只想看看电视放松一下
I just like to turn some on at night to unwind.
你敢碰遥控器我就空拳赤手
Yeah. you touch that dial, I’ll unwind your head…
扭断你的脖子 怎样
With my bare hands. how about that?
-听说博里斯的事了吗 -什么
– did you hear about Boris? – what?
我昨天给他打电♥话♥ 是个女人接的
I tried to call him yesterday and a woman answered the phone.
不会吧 她是谁
No! who is she?
一个离家少女 暂住他家
He got conned into letting some little runaway
想在纽约工作安居
Bed down in his apartment while she looks for a job and gets settled.
明显是首次来纽约
Apparently she’s never been to new york before
想让他带路四处转转
And she’s asked him if he would show her around.
-博里斯要当向导? -对
– Boris is going to be sightseeing? – yeah.
-不可能 -没门
– not a chance. – no way.
没门
No way.
我这辈子就生活在纽约
My whole life I’ve lived in new york,
但从没来过格兰特将军墓
I never wanted to go to grant’s tomb.
-现在我懂原因了 -为什么
– now I know why. – why?
任何坟墓我都不该去
I should never go to a tomb, ever.
我妈从小教育我相信
My mom brought me up to believe that
上帝对每个人的生活都有所规划
The good lord has a plan that we’re all a part of.
-他用麻雀的眼看世界 -我同情那只麻雀
– he has his eye on the sparrow. – yeah, I pity the sparrow.
但我进不了天堂 我违背过宗教道德
I’m not getting into heaven, though. I sinned.
你? 开玩笑吧 你违背过宗教道德?
You? you’re kidding. you sinned?
我有婚前性行为
I made love before I was married.
天哪
Oh, my god.
很多朋友都这样 但在我们家是不可原谅的
Plenty of my friends have, but in my house, that’s just unforgivable.
我抵不住波比·克拉西的诱惑
I just couldn’t resist Bobby Klaxon.
好吧 不用告诉我细节
All right, okay, spare me the details, all right.
不 那真是很美妙
No, it was really beautiful! I mean, he was just
他是惊人乐队的帅哥吉他手
This pretty boy guitar player in this Amazing Rock Band.
虽然你是个天才 但是他会敲双鼓
I mean, if you think you’re a genius, he can double on the drums.
-不会吧 敲双鼓? -对
– no! doubles on drums? – yeah.
很多女孩子喜欢他 但他就喜欢我
All the girls had a crush on him, but he liked me.
他温柔而又敏感
He was so sweet and sensitive,
还抓到了镇上最大的鲶鱼
And he caught the biggest catfish in plaquemines county.
除了他可没人能抓住呢
I wondered who caught that catfish.
我妈妈总说初夜会很疼
My mom always told me that it was gonna hurt the first time,
她说 事情是这样
You know, she said it was, you know,
女人要做的就是躺下 忍♥受…
It’s a woman’s duty to just lie down, bear it and…
她还说有很多的性变♥态♥
You know, she said there were a lot of perversions involved,
还有…
And that, you know,
按上帝的旨意 你不该做这些事
It’s god’s will, you shouldn’t do it
婚后打算生孩子了才可以做…
Unless you were married and you planned to have kids and…
她说那很危险 但我觉得…
She said it could be dangerous, but I just felt like it was
这是天下最自然的事 感觉很好
The most natural thing in the world. you know, it just felt right.
那些花招也很有趣 一点都不复杂
And all the little extras were just fun. it wasn’t complicated at all.
我觉得波比喜欢和我在一起
And I think bobby really liked it,
因为他抛弃了乔贝蒂
Because he was gonna dump his, uh… Betty Jo cleary,
那女孩是他的未婚妻 我之前不知道
This girl he was going steady with. but I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t hear of it.
一切就是这样
It was just what it was, you know,
在野餐帐篷后面的美妙时刻
It was a nice moment behind the tent at the fish fry.
这是我听过最恶心的事
That is the most disgusting story I’ve ever heard.
你跟这个大脖子病吉他手在某个
You and this adenoidal guitar player slaking your lust…
原始的社交活动中做♥爱♥
At some barbaric social function.
你不喜欢做♥爱♥?
You don’t like to make love?
我不喜欢
No, I do not. no.
天哪
That’s crazy!
博里斯 你死后想土葬还是火化呢
Boris, do you want to be buried or cremated?
我不想谈论那个
All right, I really don’t wanna talk about that. okay?
-我想要火化 -你能不能闭嘴 白♥痴♥
– I think I want to be cremated. – alright, will you shut up, cretin?
这样不会长蠕虫
There’s no worms.
-这是什么 -水果馅饼
– what is this? – a knish.
用什么做的
And what’s it made of?
我吃这个好几年了 味道很好
I’ve been eating these things for years, they’re delicious.
我不知道是什么馅
I don’t know what’s in them.
我也不想知道 更不想谈论它
I don’t want to know what’s in them. don’t even talk about it!