怎样都行（2009）

你被诱拐了 难道不对吗
You were abducted! tell me if my theory is correct.
你被摩♥门♥教♥徒下迷魂药
You were chloroformed by polygamous mormons.
逼你做别人的新娘
They took you off to be someone’s bride!
我没被诱拐 你们没看我的信吗
I was not abducted. didn’t anybody read my letters?
我们认为你是被迫写的
Yeah, but I assumed you were forced to… to write them at gunpoint.
-他是谁 -你是谁
– who’s this? – who are you?
-这是博里斯 我丈夫 -博里斯是你什么人
– this is Boris, my husband. – boris, your who?
他是我丈夫 我现在是叶博里斯夫人
He’s my husband. I’m mrs. Boris Yellnikoff.
-你是谁 -我是他丈夫
– who are you? – I’m her husband.
你要当场晕倒 还是进房♥再晕
You want to pass out here or go in the living room?
你母亲在哪
Where’s your mother?
你还有脸问 你跟巴曼蒂偷♥情♥
What do you care? you cheated on her and then…
连家都不要了
Dumped her for Mandy Blackburn, of all people!
都是纵欲惹的祸 是我错了
I made a terrible mistake, I committed the sin of self-indulgence.
我是来求你妈原谅的
I’ve come to beg your mother’s forgiveness.
-那你可要想清楚了 爸爸 -我想见她
– you might wanna rethink that, daddy. – I want to see her.
我在见证文化冲击带来的死亡
I see death by culture shock.
告诉我吧 梅迪 她有权恨我
You can tell me, Melody, she has every right to hate me.
她恨你 相信我吧
And she does, believe me.
我知道真♥相♥ 她恨我吗
I can handle the truth. does she hate me?
你和她闺蜜鬼魂 真是太伤人了
Well, it was a pretty awful thing you did with her best friend.
她恨我?
Then she hates me?
是的 是的 她恨你 我受不了了
Yes, yes, she hates you! I can’t stand this.
我刚认识你就恨你了
I hate you and I just met you!
主啊 就这生物每天拽你上♥床♥吗
Lord, you tell me this creature took you to bed?
不不 是她拽我上♥床♥
no, no, no, no. actually, she took me.
没错 博里斯以前讨厌性生活
yeah, when I met Boris, he hated sex.
萧先生 你不觉得那很可笑吗
Yeah, think of it, Mr. Celestine. the absurd choreography,
像个缝纫机 上下上下上下
Like a sewing machine, up and down, up and down, up and down,
是为什么呢 生孩子吗
Toward what end? making more children?
你到底在说什么
What the hell you’re talking about?
不停繁衍 究竟为了什么
Reproducing the species over and over. toward what goal?
纯粹是种低能计划
Carrying out what moronic design?
-你和曼蒂怎么了 -一团糟 噩梦一场
– what happened to Mandy? – it was a mess, a nightmare.
主啊 我罪大恶极 请宽恕我
Lord, I’ve sinned! please forgive me.
为何所有宗教分子都这德行
Why do all the religious psychotics wind up…
干嘛在我家门口祈祷 你来告诉我
Praying at my doorstep? can you tell me?
主啊 以你的仁慈之名 我做了错事
Lord, in your infinite mercy, I’ve done wrong.
-你来说还是我来说 -说什么
– you wanna tell him, or should I? – tell me what?
爸爸 这世界根本没有主
Daddy, there’s nobody out there!
真的 你对着空气祈祷呢
Honest. you’re praying to no one.
别白费力气了 对妈妈也死心吧
You’re wasting your breath, just like you’re gonna be wasting it on mom.
怎么 她爱上别人了
What? you’re telling me she met another man?
-还不只1个 -什么
– not just a man. – what?
爸爸 妈不可能永远等你
Daddy, you couldn’t expect her to not, you know,
她有自己的人生
Move on with her life and, you know…
哦 主啊 他长什么样
Oh, lord. what’s he like?
四条胳膊 两个鼻子
He’s got four arms and two noses.
你少多嘴 陌生人
You better butt out, stranger!
梅迪知道 我要收拾你
Melody will tell you I don’t need my shotgun…
就是小菜一碟
To be a whole passel of trouble.
我要马上见玛丽塔
Now, I wanna see Marietta!
爸爸 我得提醒你 你1年没见她了
Now, dad, try and remember, you haven’t seen mom in a year.
1年算什么 能有多大变化
A year is not forever. how much can a person change?
就这样 他们走进了美术馆
And with that, they entered the gallery.
做过的人多得数不清
I had more people than I knew what to do with.
所有人都说”我们来一起裸吧 玛丽塔”
Everybody said, “I’ll be naked with you, Marietta!”
而我说”好啊”
and I was like, “okay”.
哦 上帝
Oh, my god.
玛丽塔
Marietta?
萧约翰! 什么风把你吹来了
John Celestine! look what the cat dragged in.
-玛丽塔 你是怎么回事 -哦 上帝啊
– Marietta, what happened to you? – oh, my god!
亲爱的 玩失踪的人是你
Well, darling, it’s you that absconded.
-他今天突然来我家 -什么玩失踪
– he showed up at the door today. – whoa, whoa”.absconded”?
对 和一个婊♥子♥
Yes, yes, with the promiscuous whore…
-自称是我最好的朋友 -亲爱的 我可是
– who called herself my best friend. – darling, I’ll be…
我一会找你 不好意思 请见谅
I’ll find you. excuse me. pardon me.
都过去了 玛丽塔 我和曼蒂就是个错误
It’s over, Marietta. Mandy and I were a terrible mistake.
我现在回来找你了
I’ve come back for you.
亲爱的 我的开幕式刚进行了一半
Well, honey, I’m in the middle of my opening.
对爸爸 这是妈妈的画展 很棒吧
Yeah, dad, this is mom’s exhibition. isn’t it great?
-什么展 -拼贴画
– Exhibition of what? – Well, the collages.
什么 她要买♥♥这些春画?
What? she’s thinking of buying this pornography?
呃…她就是春画作者
I got news for you, she’s the pornographer.
玛丽塔 你是谁
Marietta, who are you?
约翰 你从不了解我
John, you never understood me, honey.
你短视肤浅
Your vision never extended beyond the backyard.
就知道射击 钓鱼 玩橄榄球
You always had your gun clubs and your fishing trips and football.
不曾花时间了解我
You never took a little minkte to find out about me.
你就知道带她去参加选美
And you were always too busy putting her in pageants…
教她演讲 还教她当乐队指挥
And coaching her speeches and teaching her baton twirling!
对 那是事实 我升华自我的创作需求
Yes, yes, that’s true. I was sublimating my own creative needs…
才强加到我们的女儿身上
And forcing them on our daughter.
-你什么了 -对 她升华自我
– You were what? – Yes, she was sublimating.
升华自我
Sublimating.
亲爱的 你回去找巴曼蒂吧
Honey, why don’t you go on back to Mandy Blackburn?
她的低智商跟你更相配
Her pygmy mentality is much closer to you now.
-更相近 -我无法跟她一起
– Much closer. – Yeah. well, I can’t go back to her.
-为什么不行 -她中伤我的男性尊严
– Oh, why not? – She cast aspersions on my manhood.
什么意思 尺寸 延长度 阳痿?
What are we talking? size? duration? erectile dysfunction?
别管闲事 行吗
Would you mind your own business?
玛丽塔 你怎能抛弃家庭
Marietta, how could you forsake your own family?
我希望能回家从头开始
I want us all back home to start over.
约翰 我和以前不同了
I’m a different woman, John.
我无法相信眼前一切 我是说…
I can’t believe what I’m seeing. I mean…
你的穿着变了 你的言谈更做作
Your clothes are different, your speech is a little more affected,
但事实上 我知道你还是一样…
But deep down, I know you’re the same…
可爱 质朴 虔诚 去教堂 烤馅饼…
Pretty, small-town, god-fearing, churchgoing, pie-baking…
我现在跟两个男人同居
I’m living with two guys.
女童军妈妈 你正干什么
Girl scout mom. you’re what?
我是个艺术家 我不烤馅饼 不去教堂
I’m an artist. I don’t bake pies. I don’t go to church.
我创造拼贴画 雕塑 摄影
I do collages, sculpture, photography.
我跟两个我爱的男人住在曼哈顿
I live in Manhattan with two men who I love
非常幸福的三人行
And a very happy…
-什么 -我们三个人一起睡
– A what? – We all sleep together.
我就知道不该相信他妈的法国人
I knew we should never trust the goddamn French.
太神奇了 梅迪
It’s amazing, Melody.
几千年前 古代人 埃及人 古罗马人 玛雅人…
Thousands of years ago, ancient peoples, Egyptians, Romans, Mayans,
就像我们一样 走路回家
Were walking home, just like us,
讨论他们该去哪儿吃饭或是闲聊
Discussing where should they eat or making small talk.
“我刚在尼罗河畔买♥♥了花♥园♥楼房♥”
“Hey, we just bought a great house on the Niles with a yard,
“能俯瞰法老的新金字塔”
“Overlooking the pharaoh’s new Pyramid”.
-博里斯…-或是 “我的 我的医生说…
– Boris… – Or, “my, my physician says…
“吃孔雀舌对心脏不好”
“Peacock tongues are bad for your heart”.
博里斯…
Boris…
或是 “我担心孩子无法入读阿兹特克幼儿园”
Or, “I’m worried I can’t get my kid into a really good Aztec preschool”.
到现在什么意义啊 虚无
What the hell does it all mean now? zilch.
但当时他们认为很重要
But they thought it was important.
博里斯 我可以跟你谈谈吗
Boris, can I talk to you for a minute?
我生长在一个宗教家庭
And I was raised in a religious home.
约伯之妻是我最爱的人物 因她宁愿选择死亡…
Job’s wife was my favorite character in the bible, because she chose death
也不愿像她丈夫一样当受虐狂
Rather than obsequious acceptance, like that masochist she married.
博里斯 我们能坐一会吗
Boris, Boris, can we sit down for a second?
但我们得回家了啊
Well, but we have to go home.
我知道 来这坐会吧 我有事要说
I know, but come here. I have to say something.
但我们一直都是现在回家的
But we always go home now.
我知道…我知道我们有惯例
I know. I know. I know we have a standard routine.
我得回去喝酒 然后洗澡
I need to have my drink, and a shower.
你将它看作惯例
And, you know, you see it as routine,
但对我来说 连贯性使我镇静
But for me the consistency helps keep me from becoming unnerved.