偷听女人心（2000）

everything.
你穿了丝♥袜♥？
是的，好了
– You tried on the panty hose?
– Yes, okay.
当我在吹头发时
Anyway, I was drying my hair,
and I fell over and tripped,
被吹风筒电昏倒了
fell into the bathtub
and electrocuted myself.
等我醒来后
I blacked out,
and when I woke up…
我可以听到身边的女人在想什么
I could hear what every woman
around me was… thinking.
呃
我说的是很私隐的私人想法
– Uh-huh.
– Talking personal, private stuff.
你明白吗？
我可以听到女人在想什么
The stuff that nobody is
supposed to hear, I hear that stuff.
你知道我在说什么吗？
我可以听到女人在想什么
You know what I’m saying?
I can hear what women think.
你呢？不是很多男人都有这种本事
Can you? Good, ’cause that’s not
a talent guys have these days.
你不相信我是不是
我证明给你看
You don’t believe me.
You want me to prove it?
看到那个向我们走过来的律师？
是的
– See this attorney coming toward us?
– Yeah.
她认为公♥司♥给你的薪水太高了
还认为我们是同性恋
Oh, she thinks
you’re overpaid and gay.
什么？
听我说，我真的可以听到她想什么
– What?
– I hear what they’re all thinking.
这太让我疯狂了
即使是法国卷毛狗我也能听到
It’s driving me crazy. Even
French poodles, I can hear them.
这样我们就是同一问题了
我要你明白你有幻听症
So we’re on the same page,
I need you to know you sound insane.
你幻想会失去工作，那我明白
You freaked out over losing
the job, which I understand.
但是如果你跟别人说
你能知道法国卷毛狗的想法
But if you tell anybody you can hear
the thoughts of a French poodle…
如果我跳出窗口会怎么样？
撞烂厚玻璃
What if I jumped out the window?
Jumped through the plate glass.
他们注意到了没？
如果我不为他们干杯，或许不会
Would they notice? Probably not
if I didn’t get glass on anybody.
拿着水果的女孩真有趣
自杀，但是她很有趣
That girl with the fruit is funny.
Suicidal, but she is funny.
尼克，哪个水果女孩？
Nick, what girl
with the fruit?
那个…
哦？
– The…
– Huh?
最后一个到
想我知道我不是他老板
Last one to arrive.
Wants me to know I’m not his boss.
好，你是明星
我明白了
Okay, you’re a star.
I get the message.
她认为我迟到了
因为我想让她明白她不是我老板
She thinks I’m late because I want
her to know she’s not my boss.
那她说什么？
极端的说，我求你了
– What is she talking about?
– Put a lid on it. I’m begging you.
哦，我无法相信我有神经质的
Ooh, I can’t believe
I have butterflies in my stomach.
感觉像是学校的第一天
Feels like
the first day of school.
好的，
让我们看看怎么做的
Okay, so let’s see
how we did.
谁也不想第一个试
Nobody wants to go first.
大家都在逃避我目光
除了尼克.马修
Everyone’s avoiding me,
except Nick Marshall.
真不敢相信
唯一敢看着我的人
Unbelievable. The only one
with good eye contact.
起码他是看着我的眼睛
不是我的胸部
At least he’s looking at my eyes
and not down my blouse.
尼克，你有什么建议
我？
– Nick, what did you come up with?
– Me?
我的建议
What did I come up with?
他真是怪怪的
He’s so wired.
经常这样
Mostly…
我研究了一下润唇膏
I thought about
the moisturizing lipstick,
我从来没有试过润唇膏
never having worn
lipstick myself.
我在考虑润唇膏对我的用处
I tried to imagine what I’d want
from a lipstick, if I were a woman.
啊，都是废话
起码他在说实话
– Oh, spare me.
– Okay, he’s trying to be honest.
说实话，我的第一个念头是
You know,
to be perfectly honest,
一个塔西堤女孩站在瀑布下
I thought of a Tahitian beauty,
bathing under a waterfall.
这种烂建议会把我杀了
Oy, I’m gonna die here
with these kinds of ideas.
但是，我还在做进一步的改进
But, uh, you know, I’m
working on it, and it’s evolving.
不晓得是不是有人对
Anybody interested in an idea
involving the Swedish bikini team?
邀进瑞典比基尼女孩感兴趣
I do know them all
personally.
哦，真是白♥痴♥
傻瓜，已经促成了
– Oh, what an idiot.
– Jerk, grow up already.
真是一群庸才
你真是太厉害了
– What a pig.
– You are so foul.
我该再要多一点薪金的
蒂娜？
I should have asked
for more money. Gina?
我昨晚一直在想该如何
向女人推销这种止痛片
I spent the night trying to figure
out how to sell Advil just to women.
你知道该怎样？
你该向我推销才对
You know what?
You should sell it to women like me.
每次当我要假装头痛时都会吃它
I take it every time
I need to fake a headache.
就像有魔力一样
Works like a charm.
我有了个想法，才想到的
L-I got a great one.
It just came to me.
你介意我打断你吗，蒂娜
Do you mind if I interrupt, Dina?
– Sure, go ahead.
不，你说好了
I hate that
you’ve seen me naked.
好吧
All right.
假设我们在卧室里
So, we’re in a bedroom,
the lights are out.
灯光很暗，一个女人在床上休息
There’s a woman in bed,
and she’s taking an Advil.
这对她丈夫在身后想要和她亲热
然后，我们可以说
Her husband suggestively
rubs her back, and we say, “Advil.
艾德威尔（止痛片），温柔呵护
“So mild and gentle,
you can take it…
在假装头痛时都可以服用
even when you’re
faking a headache.”
然后，那个女人可以转过身对她丈夫说
今晚不要了，亲爱的
Woman turns to her husband and says,
“Not tonight, I need an Advil.”
他后退
He’s back.
怎么了？别说这还没有
接触到女性的私隐
What? Come on. That doesn’t
reach women on a personal level?
没有
女人一定会做这种事情的
– No.
– Women do that, don’t they?
我不会
不？
– I don’t.
– No?
苏，你一定做过这种事情
向你丈夫装头痛
Sue Cranston, you’ve done that,
haven’t you? Faked a headache to…
不，尼克，我没做过这种事
多谢你关心了
No, Nick, I haven’t.
Thanks for asking.
不，不，等等，说心里话
No, wait, wait, wait.
Be honest now.
你已经结婚10年还是12年了
I mean, you’ve been married
what, ten, twelve years?
你从来没有假装过一次头痛
You’ve never faked a headache?
It doesn’t work like a charm?
当然没有，尼克
No, Nick, I haven’t.
我从来没有这么做过
I mean, no, it doesn’t,
okay? Jeez.
他真是个混旦
好吧，我看我是有点衰格了
– What an asshole!
– I guess I’m off base here.
不过，你的想法是好的