偷听女人心（2000）

Me? Nothing.
真的吗？
当然
– You sure?
– Yes, sir.
我看我今天还是走路吧
You know what?
I think I’ll walk today.
可以呼吸些新鲜空气
祝你一切顺利，先生
– I could use a little fresh air.
– Have a great day, sir…
看看你的臀部多紧
with your fine ass
looking like Shaft!
我有机会一定要试试他
Whew! I could just
ride that puppy!
看着路，你瞎了吗
Watch where you’re going.
你没事吧，先生
我很好，没事
– You okay, sir?
– Fine. I’m fine.
我把咖啡机关了吗？
我从旁边走过，有没有关掉呢？
Did I turn the coffeemaker off? I
walked over, but did I turn it off?
我看到灯亮着的
却不记得有没有去把制关掉
I can’t remember. I saw the light,
but did I turn the switch off?
什么？
亲一下就会变成同性恋吗？
– What? What?
– One kiss doesn’t make me a lesbian.
真的会吗？
什么？
– Does it?
– What?
嗯？
对不起
– Hmm?
– Oh, sorry.
一克三明治是150卡路里
再加上奶油，果酱
Two slices of toast, 150 calories,
plus a tab and a half of butter,
外加一份芝士对心脏有好处
但是太多热量
Estrogen is good for the heart
but bad for the breasts.
什么？
为什么我的孩子不能长大一点
– What?
– My kid doesn’t need Ritalin.
你从来不听我在说什么
快点，我需要方便
– Get him to listen to what I say.
– Monsieur, I need to poop.
我的上帝
Oh, boy!
啊
Aah!
她差一点杀了我
Oh, God,
he nearly killed me.
可惜没有成功
Too bad he missed.
早上好
早上好
– Good morning.
– Good mor…
别看他，不然又会是
一个悉心的笑话
Don’t look up. He’ll make me
hear another disgusting joke.
他真是个混旦
He’s such a schmuck.
她认为我是个混旦
She thinks I’m a schmuck?
嗨，你用的什么爽虑水
Whoa, lighten up
on that aftershave, buddy.
又怎么了？
好像只有你的身材是满分
Oh, what? Oh, yeah,
like you’ve got the perfect body?
我的天
Jeez.
嗨，马修先生
什么都别说
– Hi, Mr. Marshall.
– No, no, don’t say it.
怎么了？
我只是要告诉你所有的文件都在桌子上
What? I was going to tell you
the Gillette budget’s on your desk.
昨晚我出去给你买♥♥到了你要的遥控制
And I went out last night and
got you that Merlot that you wanted.
这是你的信♥用♥卡♥
Here’s
your credit card back.
谢谢你
Thank you.
你没事吧
没事
– You okay?
– Me? Yeah.
你难道不知道
Do you realize that I have
an Ivy League education…
我是个硕士毕业的
却在帮你打杂
and that running your stupid
errands has put me into therapy?
什么时候你才能认真的给我些真正的工作做？
Take me seriously and give me
some real work to do.
对了，我知道为什么了
因为我是个女人
Oh, yeah, I remember why.
Because I have a vagina!
啊！
还有什么别的事情你要我做吗？
– Aah!
– Anything else I can get for you?
哦，好，你很准时
Oh, good, you’re on time.
早上好
你看起来有点不一样了
– Morning.
– You look a little different.
可能是因为发烧的原因
You know, I think
maybe it’s his hair.
看起来有点厚了，是不是？
把你外套给我
– It looks thicker, doesn’t it?
– Gimme your coat.
好的
你今天的气息都不同了
– Oh, oh, okay.
– Mmm, you smell good today.
新的科隆香水？
不
– New cologne?
– No.
就这些吗？没有别的想法？
Th-That’s it?
No other thoughts?
你在说什么？
你没事吧
– What do you mean?
– You feeling all right, doll?
被单，衬套，借贷，锁住
“Linens, linings,
loans, locks.”
哈罗！尼克
Hello, Nick?
尼克
我们要走了
Uh, Nick?
We gotta go.
你在干什么，已经8点半了
What are you doing?
It’s 8:30.
我还不能走，
要先找个医生，我不能走
Can’t go. Gotta find a doctor.
Need a cure. Can’t go.
我真的不能走
你应该会喜欢阳光男孩
– Definitely can’t go.
– You sound like the guy from Shine.
你听上去怪怪的，你怎么了
对了，我不需要医生
– What’s wrong with you?
– I don’t need a doctor.
也许我需要个会通灵的人
Maybe I need,
like, an exorcist.
在前面，在前面
Under “E” for exorcist.
尼克，芝加哥是没有什么通灵的人
There are no exorcists
in the greater Chicago area.
我们还是一起走吧
去卖♥♥弄一点对女性心思的废话
Let’s pull it together and sell
some sensitive feminine shit, okay?
对不起打搅了，这是你要的
Sorry to interrupt.
Here you go.
马朗先生，你今天
看上去发型好棒
By the way, your hair looks
really good today, Mr. Marshall.
你尽管给我最低薪水好了
And it’s okay
you pay me minimum wage…
反正我只是为了在公♥司♥
和我以色列的男友通电♥话♥一小时
because I use the company phone
to call my boyfriend in Israel…
for an hour.
告诉我，你也听到了她的话
Tell me you heard that.
你的头发看上去好棒了
这怎么了？
Your hair looks really good.
So what?
其他的话，她想的那些话
The… The other thing!
What she was thinking thing.
我想她不会想太多
毕竟她不是个天才
I don’t think she thinks too much.
She’s not exactly a genius.
我应该让你知道
她去过艾维联盟学校
I’ll have you know she went
to an Ivy League school.
很怀疑
她说打电♥话♥给以色列的男朋友
– Doubt that.
– The thing about the boyfriend,
你听到没有，有没有
calling him in Israel,
you heard that, yes, no?
我什么都没听
因为她什么都没有说
I didn’t hear it
’cause she didn’t say it.
我们还是赶快走吧
马上就要迟到了
Pull it together. We’re gonna
be late for our sorority meeting.
摩根，我不会是真的疯了吧
Morgan, in case I, like,
maybe die today…
我们能否一边走一边说
我可不想第一次就迟到
Can we walk? ‘Cause in case
you live, I don’t wanna be late.
怎么样
好的，以免我不幸身亡
Here’s what happened,
just in case the coroner asks.
昨晚我多喝了几杯
之后我试了试达茜的那些产品
I got drunk, and I tried on
all the products from the pink box.
你不是真的试了
是的，我把所有产品都试了一遍
– You did not.
– I put on all the products…
指甲油，长筒丝♥袜♥，都试了
nail polish, panty hose,