偷听女人心（2000）

好，成年人的测试
来吧
Okay, test of manhood.
Here we go.
好极了，通过了
Okay, we passed.
下一步是把一次性帖纸…
And next… we immediately apply
disposable cloth…
放在蜡上
over the waxed… area.
拍平
Straight ahead.
好的
Yes.
感觉好像还不错
Yeah… it feels
kinda nice, yeah.
真不知女人为什么
能把蜡和腿玩在一起
I don’t know why women complain
about waxing their legs.
然后从毛发生长的方向
“In one smooth motion,
yank the strip quickly…
迅速取下帖纸
in the opposite direction
of the hair growth.”
不，不，是另一边
No, no,
that would be north.
一，二，三
One, two, three.
女人都是疯子
怎么会这么虐待自己
Women are insane.
Who would do that more than once?
谁会再去做另一条腿啊？
I don’t know. Why would
anybody even do the other leg?
真是奇怪
Ah, yes,
that’s right, girls.
拔光了毛毛再藏起来
Wax it off
and cover it up.
是的，哦，等等
Yeah. Ally-oop!
Ooh, wait.
真是麻烦，我想这要点技巧
Oh, shit!
I guess this takes a little finesse.
一个下去，两个上去
One down, two to go.
好了
Okay. Okay.
好
Okay.
哦
Oh.
亲爱的，你刚减掉了5磅肉
Honey, you just lost
yourself five pounds.
我的魔术胸罩呢？
All right, where’s my Wonderbra?
哦
Oh.
在这里
Let’s see which end is up here.
嗨
你在干什么
– Hi!
– What are you doing?
脱皮？
Exfoliating?
哟
你一定是…
– Yo.
– You must be, um…
康米，我男朋友
这是尼克
Cameron, my boyfriend.
This is Nick.
她的父亲
指甲油颜色不错
– Her father.
– That’s nice nail polish you got.
是，我在为工作上的事做些实验
Yeah, I’m just doing a new
research thing at work, you know.
想了解一下女人的心思
当然
– Get into the female psyche…
– Whatever.
是啊
Yeah.
我看我该走了
I should probably
take off.
不，你不用走这么早
别这样，已经晚了
– No, you don’t have to.
– It’s cool. I’ll see you later.
再见
Bye.
– Bye.
我会打电♥话♥给你的
好的
– I’ll call you.
– Okay.
很高兴见到你，尼克
Nice meeting you, eh?
是的
Yeah.
你怎么可以和他接吻？
你从那里拿的这个
– Excuse me. Did you kiss that guy?
– Where did you get this?
就在你包袱里，你在和人家接吻吗
你怎么随便干涉我的事情
– Your zipper thing. You’re kissing?
– You went through my stuff!
我需要点音乐，只是坐在这里
I needed some music.
It was just sitting there.
你怎么了，听不进我的话？
你从来不听我说话
What are you, allergic to listening?
You never listen when I talk.
如果要我在这里住
那我的事自己处理，好吗？
If I’m stuck staying here, then
my stuff’s gonna be around, okay?
我不想你干涉我的事情
I don’t want you to just
go through everything.
我不知道你说的
你要听我说
– I don’t listen to you?
– You think you listen to me.
有的
你听了吗？
– Yeah.
– You do?
我男朋友叫什么名字？
What’s my boyfriend’s name?
呃，叫…
Uh, it’s…
晚安
等等，回来
– Good night.
– No, no, wait, come back.
达斯汀是他的名字
他叫达斯汀
Dustin is his name.
Dustin, that’s his name.
对吗？不
别甩…
Right? No.
Don’t slam the…
门
C-Carson.
卡….卡森，卡曼，卡门
Carmen. Carmine!
Carmine!
叫卡麦克
Carmichael!
记不住他的名字
就说我不听她说话
I can’t remember a guy’s name, they
figure you’re not listening to them.
女人到底要什么呢？
What do women want?
我看我永远都不会知道的
I know it has three syllables.
康米，他叫康米
Cameron.
His name is Cameron!
喔
Whoa!
这真是太危险
Oh, Jesus.
That’s so dangerous.
百分之九十事故发生在家里
Ninety percent
of all accidents happen…
他这次又干了什么
Oh, what the hell
has he done now?
我希望他不是死了
I hope he’s not dead.
我没事
No, I’m fine.
我没事
I’m fine, I think.
你真的没事吗？
Are you sure?
是的
No. Yes.
没有粉刺了
Cleaner pores.
Thicker hair.
为什么我觉得有点怪怪的，怪怪的
Very weird headache.
Really weird.
现在我要开始收拾胸罩
和怀孕检验条了？
Now I gotta clean up bras
and home pregnancy tests?
这个家伙没付我这么多薪金来做这个呢
The man doesn’t pay me enough
for the things I have to do.
我的天啊，他开始穿丝♥袜♥了？
Oh, Jesus,
he’s wearing panty hose?
他不是头脑有问题吗？
Now he’s a cross-dresser?
我只是在为工作上的事情做些试验
I was just experimenting with a few
products from work, all right?
我说什么了吗？
噢，已经8点了
– Did I say anything?
– Oh, God, it’s 8:00 already.
如果是我把他叫起来的
他非得炒了我不可
To sleep till 8:00. He’d fire
my ass if I wasn’t here to wake him.
你今天心情不好啊
Whew, are we
in a mood today.
我和平时一样啊
Same as every other day.
亲爱的，给我准备点早餐好吗？
Honey, make me a little bagel
with cream cheese.
你知道我饿着肚子什么都干不了
You know I can’t think
on an empty stomach.
我今天一点都不饿
For your information,
I’m not even hungry.
谁说你饿了
Who said you were?
早上好，马修先生
早上好
– Mr. Marshall.
– Good morning, Flo.
让我帮你叫计程车
Let me get you
a cab, sir.
真是
Sure.
谢谢，弗洛
Thank you, Flo.
不客气，我的心肝宝贝
You’re welcome, my little sweet ass.
你说什么？
What did you say?
我？什么都没说啊