偷听女人心（2000）

我肯定这里的女士
都很熟悉这些东西
I’m pretty sure all the women here
are familiar with these products,
至于男士们，让我大致介绍一下
so for the men let’s just
briefly run through them.
这是你的，尼克
Here you go, Nick.
谢谢你
Thank you.
我每盒子里都有抗皱霜
Each kit contains
anti-wrinkle cream,
染眉毛油，润唇膏
mascara,
moisturizing lipstick,
润滑珠，快干指甲油
bath beads,
quick-dry nail polish,
一个家庭装脱毛腊，魔术胸罩
an at-home waxing kit,
a more wonderful Wonderbra,
一个家庭型怀孕检测条
对不起
– a pregnancy test, hair volumizer,
– Oh, sorry.
面部粉刺清洁帖纸
Pore cleansing strips,
Advil,
止痛药，连身长筒丝♥袜♥
和一张VISA信♥用♥卡♥
control-top panty hose
and a Visa card.
我希望每个人为一种或是两种
Now I want everybody
to come up with something…
或是整盒产品提出一样的新建议
for one product, for two,
the whole box… whatever moves you.
明天，我们把大家的想法说出来
看看结果如何
We’ll get together tomorrow,
have a little show-and-tell.
8点半怎么样
How’s 8:30 for everybody?
好极了，我们明天一早8点半见
Great. See you at 8:30
tomorrow morning.
恶梦
A nightmare.
看我口型
Read my lips…
恶梦
night-mare.
进不去，进不去
Miss, miss, miss!
500块又没有了
That’s another 500 bucks.
这是很危险的游戏
We play our dangerous game.
生命攸关
A game of chess…
against our old adversary.
攸关？你确定生死敌手？
“Adversary”?
Surely you mean adversary, old boy?
香料、色拉
Vinaigrette
for arugula salad.
女人的把戏
举起胯部
…women’s political caucus.
– Tuck the pelvis under. Lifting.
偷袭屁♥股♥
Buns of steel.
我会钉死她的下部的
I’d steal her buns
if I could.
来了，他下的非常稳
Here it comes.
Yes, he nailed the dismount!
让我们看看女子决赛的情况
Now let’s check in
on the women’s finals.
女子决赛
Women’s finals.
现在的电视节目也被女人控制了
There’s way too much estrogen
on television these days.
好像没有女人地球就不转了
And as we all know,
the perfect antidote for estrogen…
是弗兰克
Is Frank.
哦，我需要弗兰克
Oh, I need some Frank.
帮帮我，帮帮我吧
Help me, buddy.
Help me now.
别要我跳，我不跳舞
I won’t dance don’t ask me
我不跳舞，别要我跳
I won’t dance
Don’t ask me
我不和你跳，女士
I won’t dance, madam, with you
我不能随心做事
My heart won’t let my feet do
things that they should do
你知道你是多么可爱
You know what
You’re lovely
你知道你是多么可爱
You know what
You’re so lovely
哦，你想对我怎么样
And, oh
what you do to me
我像海浪一样起伏在海岸
I’m like an ocean wave
that’s bumped on the shore
我感觉整个绊倒
I feel
so absolutely stumped
在地板上
On the floor
你起舞时是多么迷人
When you dance
you’re charming
多么文雅
And you’re gentle
特别是那样趾高气扬
Especially when you do
the Continental
而不显得做作
But this feeling
isn’t purely mental
天堂让我们觉得舒服
For heaven rest us
我不是石棉
I am not asbestos
那就是我为什么不跳舞
And that’s why I won’t dance
Don’t ask me
我真的不跳
I won’t dance
How could I
我不会跳的
不用紧张
– I won’t dance Merci beaucoup
– Don’t panic.
这会很有意思的
This is supposed to be fun.
好吧，我什么都能做
Okay. Okay, I can do this.
这是我的专业
I’m a professional.
口红，好吧
Lipstick. All right.
口红，男人的颜色
不，不，女人最恨这个
Lipstick on a guy’s collar?
No, no, women will hate that.
口红，男人脸上永不褪色
Lipstick on a guy’s collar
that won’t rub off.
不，这个更糟
No, that’s even worse.
好吧，好吧，要想得更远一点
Okay, okay, okay,
I gotta think like a broad.
好吧，我在想
All right, I’m a broad.
我看到口红
I see lipstick…
一个塔西堤的女孩站在瀑布下
On a dark-haired
Tahitian beauty,
除了丝一般的长发披在肩上
一♥丝♥不♥挂♥
standing under a waterfall,
wearing nothing but a thong.
水淋在她背上
Water cascading
down her back.
我快要疯了
I’m a lesbian.
我得换个音乐
I gotta change the music.
换什么呢
I wonder. I wonder.
啊，爱丽丝，谢谢你
Oh, Alex, thank you.
啊，头奖
Ah, jackpot!
哦，她很热
Oh, she’s hot.
我讨厌今天这一切
I hate the world today
你看上去还不错，但是我不会改变
You’re so good to me I know
but I can’t change
我知道你困惑的事
I can understand
how you’d be so confused
我不会嫉妒你的
I don’t envy you
我很不气眼
I’m a little bit
of everything
所有都困成一个
你去
– All rolled into one
– You go, girl.
我是婊♥子♥，我是母亲
I’m a bitch I’m a mother
我是兄弟，简直是乱搞
I’m a brother
It’s confusing
我试试头发，我不明白
And I volumize my hair
I am not aware
看上去是头皮屑
Looks like big dandruff.
很滑，是的，很滑
哦，好酷
Smooth, yeah, smooth.
Oh, cool.
哦，染眉毛油
我们继续
Wow, mascara.
Here we go.
不错，浓浓的睫毛
Nice, thick lashes.
这种东西真麻烦
怎么会有人用这种东西
Ow! Ow! Shit, that stings!
What the fu…
嗯，我得用点麻药
Okay, fine. Well, I need
some anesthetic here.
好极了
Beautiful.
好，现在…
Okay. Now…
主要项目就是
for the piece de resistance,
we have…
腿毛蜡，好极了
We have the right leg.
Yes, excellent.
还有热蜡，非常热
And the hot, hot wax.
Very hot wax.
来吧
Here we go.
我的天啊
烫死我了
Jeez! Ooh, that’s hot.