吸血鬼生活

Are you a virgin?
我不是 不是
I’m not, no.
好吧 我非常抱歉
Okay, I’m really sorry.
因为我真的
Because I totally…
觉得她是处♥女♥
she is a Virgin.
她看起来像处♥女♥ 她说话像处♥女♥ 我是说
She looks like a virgin. She talks like a virgin, I mean…
谁会和她做♥爱♥ 反正我不会
Who would have sex with her, I wouldn’t.
我会
I would.
好吧 很好
Okay, good.
两份 美味的晚餐 尼克
It’s 2 dinners… yum. Nick.
你喜欢意大利面吗
Do you like bisghetti?
呃 是的 通常情况下是的
Uh… yep. I usually like it.
但是 热一下不是更好吗
But, be better if it was warm?
这是我最喜欢的把戏
So, this is my favorite trick.
我们给客人一盘意大利面
We present our guest with a plate of bisghetti.
然后 我会说 你为什么不吃点意大利面呢
And then, I would say, ‘ Why don’t you eat some bisghetti?’
请吧 尼克
Please, Nick.
吃点意大利面
Eat some bisghetti.
我没有意识到原来你喜欢吃蠕虫
I didn’t realize you enjoy eating worms.
尼克
Nick.
不 这是蠕虫
No… They are worms.
我盘子里有蠕虫在动
There’s worms moving around on my plate.
像蠕虫 但不全是
Worm like but not actually…
我们从电影 迷失男孩 那偷的点子
We stole that idea from The Lost Boys.
但我安排了很棒的转折
But I put a nice twist on it.
尼克
Nick.
你知道鸡鸡是眼镜蛇是什么感觉吗
How does it feel to have a snake for a penis?
杰姬
Jackie?
我的鸡鸡消失了 它变成了眼镜王蛇
My penis has disappeared. It’s a cobra snake.
没人会误认为你的鸡鸡是眼镜蛇的 尼克 好吗
Nobody is gonna mistake your penis for a cobra, Nick, okay?
– 相信我 – 你往我的意大利面里加了什么
– Believe me. – What have you put in my bisghetti?
不 这就是普通的鸡鸡
No, it is just a normal penis.
我要走了 我要走了
I’m out. I’m out.
约瑟芬
Josefine?
你喜欢意大利面吗
Do you like bisghetti?
听着 这些神经病
Look, these freaks…
往我意大利面里加东西 让我的鸡鸡变成了眼镜蛇 没一点意思
… spike my bisghetti, make my cock turn into a snake is not cool.
无聊至极
Not cool.
你不觉得很奇怪吗
You don’t think this is weird?
去你♥妈♥的♥
For fuck sakes…
杰姬
Jackie?!
杰姬
Jackie!
– 对不住了 尼克 – 你在干什么
– Sorry Nick. – What are you doing?!
杰姬
Jackie!
妈的
Shit!
滚开
Fuck off.
我在哪里
Where am I?
妈的
Fuck.
妈的
Fuck!
全是神经病
Freaks!
哦 不
Ah, no…
佩蒂尔抓到他了
Petyr got him.
可怜的人
Poor guy…
谁把佩蒂尔放出来的
Who let Petyr out?
两个月后
你们好啊 伙计们
Hey, guys!
你们在干嘛呢
Hey, what are you guys doing?
你在干嘛呢 尼克
What are you doing, Nick?
进到屋里来
Come into the house.
– 你好 我的名字叫尼克 – 你们好
– Hi, my name is Nick. – Hey, guys.
我变成吸血鬼两个月了
I’ve been a vampire for 2 months.
可能是吧 我觉得变成吸血鬼最棒的事是能飞
Probably, I reckon best thing about being a vampire is flying.
我一直都想飞 我觉得
Like I’ve always wanted to, I think
每个人都希望会飞
everyone has always wanted to fly.
现在 我可以了
And now I can do it.
尼克 你干嘛不从正门走
Nick, why don’t you use the front door?
为什么我要走正门呢 我飞进来啦
Why would I? I’m flying.
佩蒂尔咬了我
Petyr bit me.
把我的血都吸干了
Sucked all my blood out.
我在他的地窖里醒来
I woke up in his basement and…
他给我喝了点血
… he offered me some blood.
我还以为那是
I just thought it was something…
他们那伙人搞的德国玩意儿
… some German thing that these guys do.
变成吸血鬼的这个过程挺让人难受的
This transition, into becoming a vampire was pretty hard.
刚开始我看起来真的很糟糕
I look like shit to start off with,
因为我脖子上有一个巨大的伤痕
like, I had a massive gash on my neck.
就好像你能看到我脖子里面的东西
Like you could see the inside of my neck.
我脖子上到处是血
I had blood all over my top.
当我回到家时我浑身都湿透了
And then I came home and I was sweating.
但奇怪的是我既不冷又不热
I was either really hot or really cold.
我觉得 整个人就好像喝了十天的酒一样
It was like a hang-over times 10, I reckon.
真的很糟糕
It was really bad.
跟得了流感得症状很像
It was quite similar to having the flu.
唯一的区别可能就是
Except, the only difference would probably be…
我的眼睛出了巨多血
… that my eyes bleed heaps.
你们这些人不冷吗
Are you guys not cold?
额 我也不是很能描述这种感觉
No, I can’t really explain it.
就好像冷和热一直在体内交替
It’s like, yeah, really hot and cold
而且还有
and like…
眼睛血红 身体会飞 之类的事情
… bloody eyes and flying and stuff.
邻居会看到你在屋子里乱飞的
The neighbors can see you flying around the house.
你想人们注意到这间房♥子吗
You want to draw attention to his house, hm?
但是你自己搞了一整个
You got a whole…
纪录片组跟着你到处乱转
documentary crew following you around.
我正在给我的朋友们跳脱衣舞
I am doing an erotic dance for my friends.
但被你搞砸了
And you ruined it.
我本来在舞台中♥央♥
I was in the zone.
我朋友们超爱的
My friends are loving it.
我也很喜欢啊 我都看完了 挺好的
I love it. I saw the end of it. It looked great.
我不知道我现在接受了没有
I don’t, I don’t know, if I’m, if I’m accepted yet.
我不知道 但我想我已经到这份上了
But… I don’t know. I think it’s getting there.
我不知道他们中最老的是哪个
I don’t know the oldest stuff,
但参照现实世界
but they’re quite naive…
他们看起来都挺年轻的
… when it comes to the real world.
所以
So…
我不知道 就是感觉跟他们混在一起
I don’t know, it would be cool to just…
挺酷的 他们能教我很多东西
Hang out with them. They could teach me some stuff.
但我教不了他们啥
But I could probably teach them a few things.
最开始的时候 我心里的感觉是
At the start it was like, ‘Oh no, like I’m..’
我好像是死了
‘… I’m dead.’
这有点影响我跟正常人之间的感情
It kind of affected my friendship with normal people,
比如跟我的家人朋友们
my family and stuff.
但换个角度看 我也有了一个新家庭
But, of the way I see it, I’ve got a whole new family.
他们接受了我的身份
They accept me for who I am.
虽然看起来他们自己都不知道自己是谁
They don’t even seem to know who they are.
虽然
Even though…
他们中的一个杀了我
… one of them killed me.
我们今晚去哪
Where should we go tonight?
去库马拉大酒吧呗
Let’s go to The Big Kumara.
为什么我们不去 波基大世界
Why don’t we go to Boogie Wonderland?
我们从没去过 波基大世界
We never get in to Boogie Wonderland.
我朋友理查德是那的保安
My friend Richard’s the bouncer.
他能把我们弄进去
He can get us in.
啥 真的吗
What? Really?
我就可以把我们弄进去的
I’ll invite us in.
斯图也来了 他也跟我们一起去吗
Stu is game. He will come with us too?
额 这是我朋友斯图
Ah, this is my friend Stu.
– 嗨 – 他从事计算机工作
– Hey. – He works in computers and stuff.
一般他都是跟我妹一起出去玩的
Originally he went out with my sister.
但后来他们分手了
And then they broke up.
虽然我不希望她那么做 但是
I didn’t want her to do it, but…