吸血鬼生活

Hello asshole.
– 别叫我混♥蛋♥ – 也别叫我 狂兽
– Hey, don’t call me asshole! – Don’t call me… Beast.
– 他就是弗拉迪斯拉夫 – 现在就和从前一模一样
– This is Vladislav. – This is absolutely the same.
这是我的前男友
This is me ex-boyfriend.
– 你知道的 那个上了警♥察♥的 – 那都是
– You know, the one who fucked the police… – Alright, that’s old
陈年旧事了 那是
business, that’s…
个人隐私
… personal business.
– 久仰大名 混♥蛋♥ – 这是我的爱人
– Nice to meet you asshole. – This is my lover.
不许你们吃 这个叫斯图的人 的血
You will not feast on the blood of the human known as Stu.
听着 混♥蛋♥ 这是一个人类
Listen asshole, this is a human and
这就是规矩 还有这些摄像头是在做什么
this is the rules and what is cameras doing here?
这一个 那还有一个 这是干什么
One, and then another one, what is this?
他们正在制♥作♥一部关于
They’re making a documentary on…
这是一个私密的社交群体
This is a private secret society mate,
你们不能拿着那该死的摄像机到处乱拍
you don’t go bringing your bloody cameras into everything.
你们不许吃斯图 也不许吃摄像师
You will not eat Stu and you will not eat the camera guy.
或许可以吃一个摄影师
Maybe one camera guy
我马上就要对你失去耐心了
I’m up to bloody here, with you at the moment.
还有你后面的所有同伴 不管他们是谁
And all your mates behind there, whoever the hell they are.
我们要喝人血
We’re gonna eat the human being.
你说什么都没用 知道了吗
And there’s nothing you can do about it, alright?
所以闪一边去
Now back off!
让这位女士过去
And let my miss get her way.
是吗 我无能为力啊
Oh, there’s nothing I can do about it?
– 没错 – 好吧 那这招怎么说
– That’s right. – Well, what about this?
迭戈 把他的头扯下来
Diego, rip his head off.
你想干什么
What do you want?!
吸血鬼决斗
Vampire fight!
打倒他 弗拉迪斯拉夫
Get him Vladislav!
把他的头扯下来
Rip his head off!
他要杀了他
He’s killing him!
吸血鬼是禁止
It is forbidden for vampires…
杀死吸血鬼的
… to kill a vampire.
– 搞什么 – 有医生吗
– What the f… – Medic!
什么
What?
你还好吗 亲爱的 滚出去
Are you okay, love? Get out!
或许我们该走了 斯图
We should probably go, Stu.
很高兴见到你 保琳
It was great to see you, Pauline.
混♥蛋♥
Asshole!
– 我们俩的合作 那真是 – 他是个杀人犯
– That was very… how we both… – He’s a murderer!
我们俩一起 各出一份力打败了那个家伙
We both, together, equally destroyed that guy!
但那主要是因为斯图用大棍子捅了他
Yeah, but it was more Stu with the giant stick!
我希望这不会让你和狂兽感到尴尬
I hope this doesn’t make this awkward for you and The Beast.
不 我认为这带来了新的可能性
No, I think it’s opened up new possibilities.
哦 不是吧
Oh, no.
你们又要在一起了
Here we go again.
斯图 斯图 斯图
Stu, Stu, Stu…
等等 停下
Wait, wait, wait, wait, stop!
仔细听
Listen, listen!
你闻到了吗
You smell that?
这边
This way.
狼人们
Werewolves.
天啊 看看我们发现了什么
Oh, no. Look what the cat dragged in, huh?
滚开 走远点 今晚别打扰我们
Piss off. Keep walking. Don’t hassle us tonight.
我们不想找麻烦
There has been no hassle here.
好吧 你们最好如此
Well, let it stay that way.
继续 把自己拴起来
Keep chaining yourselves up!
伙计们 你们的运动裤呢
Guys, where’s your track suite pants?
昨天送去洗衣店了
It was washing night.
我老婆一个人洗不干净
My misses couldn’t wash them
那上面的血太多了
cause there was too much blood on them.
当你的腿变形的时候 你需要穿条宽松的裤子
When your legs expand they go into the track suit.
那些牛仔裤会被扯烂的
Those jeans are gonna rip completely!
你们的裤子别想要了 伙计们
You’ve lost all those trousers, guys.
迪克兰 那棵树太细了
Declan, that tree’s far too thin!
看看它 像根树枝似的
Look at it! It’s like a branch!
你不知道你变身后会有多大吗
You don’t know how big you get when you transform!
那颗树不适合你
That’s the wrong tree for you.
安东 我
Anton, I’ve…
不是吧 你把密♥码♥忘了
Oh, no, you’ve forgot the combination.
你为什么要买♥♥一把密♥码♥锁
Why did you get a combination lock?
上一次我把钥匙丢了
I lost my key last time.
好吧 可能是4个零 你没改过密♥码♥吧
Okay, well, it’s probably 4 zeros, that’s the factory setting, is it?
快滚到树边上捆好自己
Fuck off to a tree.
我们是狼人 可不是蛮人狼
Hey! Werewolves, not swearwolves.
我知道 但在变形之夜
Yeah, I know, well on transformation nights,
没什么大不了的 好吗 我现在压力很大
it’s alright, alright? I’m getting stressed out.
我只是想提醒你一下
I was just reminding you.
混♥蛋♥ 别再废话了 快把自己绑好
Stop talking and chain yourself up you dickhead!
认真的 我们正要变形
Honestly, we’re transforming.
好吧 那我们会走开的
Alright, we’ll keep walking.
嗯 快走开
Yeah, keep walking.
– 我们会走开的 – 顺便说一下 你冒犯到我了
– We’ll keep walking. – By the way I find that offensive!
那是皮制的吗
Is it fur?
我的天哪
Oh, for crying out loud.
各位 不要盯着皮毛了 回到你们的树旁 好吗
Don’t look at the fur everyone. Get back to your trees, okay?
这可真恶心 你穿着皮毛诶
That’s disgusting, man. You’re wearing fur.
迪克兰
Declan
– 这不是真的皮毛 – 啊 完了
– That’s not real fur. – Oh, shit!
认真的 快离开这里 带上你们的人类
Honestly, get out of here. Take your humans!
戴领结的那个人 他会最先被咬的
The guy in the bow-tie, he’s gonna go first!
快离开这里啊
Get out of here!
快把衣服都脱掉 如果你还想留着它们的话
Quick, take all your coats off if you want to keep everyone!
安米 把外套脱掉
Get that Army service jacket off…
别再用这相机拍我了
Get that camera out of my face!
朋友们朋友们 快走快走 快点
Guys, guys! Let’s go, let’s go. Come on!
快跑啊 斯图 跑啊啊
Run, Stu, RUN!
快走快走
Let’s go, let’s go!
靠
Shit!
有一个跟上来了
I got one!
我的腿 我的腿啊啊
My leg! My leg!
我的天哪
Oh, God!
斯图 斯图
Stu! Stu!
斯图
Stu!
斯图
Stu!
放开我
Get off me!
斯图 你还好吗
Stu, are you alright?!
斯图
Stu!
卧♥槽♥
Ah, fuck!
走开啊
Fuck off!
放开我
Get off me!
你这个臭混♥蛋♥
You stinky piece of assholes!
傻♥逼♥狼人
Stupid werewolves!
别看 尼克
Look away Nick!
不要看他的血
Don’t look at their blood!
斯图
Stu!
他是个很好的人 放开他
He’s a really good dude! Leave him alone!
已经太晚了
It’s too late for him!
– 尼克 不要看他的血 – 斯图
– Don’t look at the blood Nick! – Stu!
他在那
There he is.
他可能还是有点心烦意乱
He’s probably still a little upset
看到他最好的朋友被狼人撕咬开膛
having seen his best friend disemboweled by werewolves.
尼克
Nick!
找到你了
I found you.
今晚很刺♥激♥吧
That was pretty full on, heh?
但这就是会发生在吸血鬼身上的事
But this is what happens when you are a vampire.
你得看着所有人死去
You have to watch everyone die.
你的父母
Your mother and father.
你所有的朋友
All your friends.
有时会很残忍♥
Sometimes brutal.
就像滑倒摔在一个巨大的钉子上