冒牌家庭（2013）

Of course. It’s very clear. But, you see, it was up… There’s…
当然了 很明显 不过 它是朝上的… 它…
Its wheels, so I didn’t see it down on the ground, and then it…
它的轮子 我没注意它是放在地上的 它…
Black Cock Down? Black Cock Down?
黑鸡坠落? 黑鸡坠落?
Nice job, Meryl Streep. Very subtle character work.
很棒 梅丽尔·斯特里普 演得不错
Not my fault that Kenny can’t draw.
他画成那样让我怎么猜
Don’t you pick on Kenny.
别把把责任推给肯尼
Nothing about that looked like a skateboard.
那东西看起来一点都不像滑板
You leave him alone. Where the hell’s Kenny?
别说他了 肯尼去哪了?
– You guys, come here. – What?
– 过来看 – 怎么了?
– What’s going on? – Look at these two.
– 怎么了? – 看看他俩
– Aww. – Uh-oh.
– 喔 – 呃
– Guess I’m not the best drawer. – No, you were great.
– 我猜我不擅长画画 – 不 你画的很好
– I knew that was a skateboard. – Yeah.
– 我看出来那是个滑板了 – 是啊
– I don’t know where the confusion was. – No, I… That…
– 我不知道问题出在哪 – 不 我…
Yeah.
呃
I, um, really like your family. They’re, uh…
我很喜欢你的家人 他们…
– They’re different. – Well, they’re not my family. I mean…
– 他们很特别 – 其实他们不是我的家人 我是说…
Yeah, no, I get what you mean.
我明白你的意思
– She wants him to kiss her. – Absolutely.
– 她想让他亲她 – 显而易见
– She does, right? – And sometimes I feel like I’m adopted…
– 她真的想 – 有时候我觉得我是被收养的…
or an alien, you know, or something.
或者是外星人还是别的什么
Right. That’s what I meant. Um…
是的 我就是这个意思
But also, you know, I would totally adopt you.
不过说真的 我肯定会收养你
You know, um…
嗯…
Not that I wanna be your daddy. I just, uh…
我不是想当你♥爸♥爸 我只是…
– He’s talking too much. – He won’t shut up.
– 他废话太多了 – 他不会停的
Uh, well, good night.
晚安
– I’ll see you. – Okay. Um…
– 明天见 – 好的 呃…
Fucking hug.
见鬼的拥抱
Okay.
好的
And, uh, Melissa?
那个 梅丽萨?
– Yeah? – Uh, watch out for bears.
– 怎么了? – 小心熊
Um, you know. Can’t see them coming.
你知道 熊总是神出鬼没的
Good tip.
贴心的提醒
That poor kid. Well, you should go talk to him.
可怜的孩子 你应该去和他谈谈
Who?
谁?
I said you should go… Well, who do you think?
我说你应该去… 那你觉得是谁?
Me? What the hell am I gonna say?
我? 我该说什么?
Talk to him about guy stuff.
给他讲讲男人应该怎么做
– Jesus fucking Christ. – Come on, how hard is it? Just go.
– 见鬼 – 这有什么难的 去就是了
– Hey, man, how you doing? – Hey.
– 嘿 干嘛呢? – 嘿
– Anybody sitting here? – Uh, no.
– 这有人吗? – 没有
Well, good, good, good, good. All right.
好的
So, um…
那…
I saw what just happened with you and Melissa.
我刚才看见你和梅丽萨了
– Oh. – Um…
– 好吧 – 嗯…
You know, you don’t have to be scared to kiss a girl. Heh-heh.
亲一个女孩完全没什么可怕的
I mean, you damn near sucked a guy’s dick nine hours ago. What are you shy now for?
九个小时之前你差点给一个男的口♥交♥ 这有什么好害羞的
That’s not funny, David.
一点都不好笑 戴维
I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
不好意思
It was a bad joke. Ahem.
不该说这破笑话
You wanna know something I used to do when I was your age…
你想知道我在你那个年纪怎么克服
kept me from getting nervous around girls?
和女孩在一起的时候的紧张吗?
– Yeah. – I would just count to three.
– 想知道 – 我会数到三
– Count to three? – Yeah.
– 数到三? – 没错
– That’s your big advice? Count to three? – Yeah.
– 这就是你所说的好建议? 数到三? – 是的
I mean, if you ever wanna kiss a girl or ask her to go out, or I mean…
如果你想亲一个女孩或者约她出去或者…
Actually, if you get scared of anything, just do this: just count to three…
无论什么情况你感到害怕 只要数到三
and then do it.
然后放手去做
Because if you take too long, you overthink it and you’ll just drive yourself crazy.
因为时间太久 你会想太多然后把自己逼疯
Trust me, it’ll change your life.
相信我 这会改变你的生活
I guess that makes sense.
我猜这很有用
– Thanks. – Yeah. No problem.
– 多谢 – 别客气
And, you know, if you have any other questions…
如果你有任何…
about, like, the birds and the bees…
性启蒙方面或者…
who puts what into where, any of that fun stuff…
该如何做之类的问题…
just don’t hesitate to ask, okay?
尽管问 好吗?
– Okay. – Okay.
– 好的 – 好
– Good talk. – Yeah, good talk.
– 愉快的谈话 – 是啊 很愉快
Oh, my back.
我的背
– So old. – Yeah.
– 太老了 – 是啊
Wait. You go in. I’ll keep a lookout, okay? Good.
等等 我在外边放风 你进去看 就这么定了
Fuck you. This was your idea. You’re going the fuck in there.
去你的 这是你想出来的 你给我进去
Why are you yelling at me?
干嘛吼我?
I am not yelling at you.
我没吼你
Okay. Okay.
好吧
Watch.
看好了
Bin Laden!
本拉♥登♥!
What’s happening? Is it raccoons?
发生什么了? 是浣熊吗?
God.
天呐
You were right about them, Edith.
你说的对 伊迪丝
– No. I’m so sorry. – Let me explain.
– 不 不好意思 – 我可以解释的
This is completely explainable.
我们绝对可以解释清楚
– A misunderstanding. – We didn’t mean to do this.
– 这是个误会 – 我们不是故意的
– You just have to understand something. – Mm-hm, mm-hm.
– 事先声明 – 好
We have never done anything like this with another couple before.
以前我们从没和别的夫妻做过类似的事
Uh-huh.
嗯
That’s no judgment on you. We’re no squares.
不是对你们有偏见 我们没那么古板
– I own a vibrator. – That’s right, she does.
– 我还买♥♥了按♥摩♥棒♥ – 没错
– Awesome. – I wasn’t for it at first.
– 不错 – 刚开始我不喜欢它
The darn thing’s made in China, for cripes’ sake…
因为这鬼东西是中国制♥造♥的…
but when you’ve been married this long you look for anything to spice things up.
但是结婚时间长了就想找点什么增添情趣
So, of course we’ve discussed a scenario like this.
当然 我们也讨论过现在这种情况
Yes. And tonight when you brought up that big black “babymaker”…
没错 而且今晚你说出那个又大又黑的”传宗接代工具”
– Well, we got it. – Loud and clear.
– 我们就明白了 – 一清二楚
Our vibrator is named “Joe Morgan”.
我们的按♥摩♥棒♥叫”乔·摩根”
We were picking up what you were putting down.
当然这都是你们玩剩下的
– Same page. – Interesting.
– 彼此彼此 – 有点意思
We’re very flattered by this, but right now, in the middle of the night…
看到这样的情形我们很高兴 不过 在这样的夜晚…
I’m not sure I’m really ready for it. Aw, Don.
我感觉我们还没准备好 天呐 唐
Got it. Totally understood. Not a problem.
明白了 完全明白了 没问题的
We just had to ask. So…
我们只是问问 所以…
Wait. I have an idea.
等等 我有个想法
Okay. Maybe I could take a baby step tonight.
好吧 也许今晚我可以向前一小步
I mean, my mouth is for my marriage.
我的嘴属于我们的婚姻
But I’ve never touched another woman before.
但是我之前从没摸过别的女人
I would be okay with that. Yeah.
我完全没有意见
Oh, great.
好极了
Rose?
萝丝?
– There you go. – Okay. All right, I’m sitting.
– 开始吧 – 好吧 我先坐下
– Are you okay? – David.
– 你没问题吧? – 戴维
– Mother to mother, is this okay with you? – Yes. “Mother.” Yes.
– 母亲和母亲之间 没问题吧 – “母亲” 没问题
– Are you sure? – Let’s get this mother started.
– 你确定? – 开始吧
– Shall we? Okay. – Ha-ha-ha!
– 可以吗? 好的 – 哈哈哈
– Okay, Don, are you watching? – I’m good.
– 唐 你在看吗? – 我很好
Okay. Uh, wow.
好吧
My heart’s pounding so fast in my chest.
我的心快要跳出来了
– Ahem. So I guess we’re swinging. – Hmm? Oh, yeah.
– 啊 我们这是要出轨啦 – 是吗?
Ooh. Ha, ha.
啊 哦
Sorry that I’m taking so long.
久等了
Hello. Ha-ha-ha!
你好啊
Okay, I’m just gonna do it real fast. There we go.
我会很快的 来啦
– There they are. – There they are.
– 摸到了 – 就是这样
– Wow! Wow! – It’s happening. This is happening.
– 哇! – 你做到了
Don, are you looking at this? I’m touching her boobs.
唐 你在看吗? 我真的摸到了
– This is a miracle. – Okey-doke.
– 这简直是个奇迹 – 确实是
– Would you like to feel my breasts? – I think that’s enough for tonight.
– 你想感受下我的吗? – 我觉得今晚已经足够了
– You’re right. – Don’t give away the farm.
– 你说的对 – 别太贪心
– A little roughhouse? – We should wait.
– 精疲力尽了? – 应该慢慢来
– Are you okay down there? – Yeah, yeah, yeah.
– 你们没有问题吗? – 没问题