冒牌家庭（2013）

我们还有淀粉吗?
Yeah, there’s cornstarch for his bottom.
把淀粉抹在他屁♥股♥上
– Family meeting. – Yep.
– 家庭会议 – 好的
I’m getting my hands on that baby.
我正在抚摸我的小宝贝呢
He’s a narc? Are you fucking kidding me?!
他是缉毒警♥察♥? 你们有没有搞错?!
Stop panicking! We haven’t done anything suspicious yet, so just relax!
别慌! 我们还没有露马脚 所以别紧张!
Oh, really? Okay. What about when they wanna hold our precious weed baby?
是吗? 那他们要抱我们可爱的大♥麻♥宝贝怎么办?
Give me the baby, all right?
把孩子给我 好吧?
I’ll handle it if it happens. I’ll totally take care of it.
发生了什么 我都会担着的
Right now, all we have to do is focus on getting away from that fucked up family.
现在我们要做的是想办法赶紧摆脱这家人
Oh, fuck. Why are we stopping?
该死 车为什么停了?
They heard us. They heard us. Fuck, we’re going to jail.
他们听到了 该死 我们要进监狱了
盖里汽车维修中心
No, no, no. We’re just at the garage, okay?
不 不 是到车♥库♥了
Everybody calm down. We haven’t done anything. You’re right.
大家都淡定 我们没做什么 会没事的
I’ll ditch this guy real fast. We’re gonna get in and get out of here, okay?
我会以最快的速度搞定他 我们进去修好了车就走 好吗?
Game face, okay? Miller time. Here we go.
准备上场 好吗? 米勒一家的表演开始 走吧
No other repair shops nearby?
附近还有别的修车店吗?
Run by a Christian and open after supper on a Saturday night? No, sir.
老板是基♥督♥徒 并且周六晚饭后还营业的? 没有了 先生
Ah, shoot. I’d give you the hose out of our rig and send you on your way…
该死 我可以把我们车的散热管给你们 你们就能上路了…
but we’d be stranded ourselves.
但我们就走不了了
Besides, this way we can all get to know each other better.
这样也好 还能让我们彼此增进了解
– What’s happening? – They’re closed till morning.
– 怎么回事? – 他们明早才能开门
Oklahoma.
奥克拉荷马人怎么这样
Oh, God.
哦 天啊
You folks can make camp with the Fitzgeralds tonight.
你们今天可以和菲茨杰拉德一家一起露营了
I know a great spot. We’ll set up the old tents and you can bed down in our Winni.
我知道个不错的地方 我们住旧帐篷 你们可以住在我们车厢里
– I’ll give you a hand with your gear. – No, no, no.
– 我会帮你们修修车 – 不用 不用
That’s okay. Millers carry their own weight.
没关系的 米勒一家人自己能行
– I knew I liked you, David. – Kenny, you wanna get our shit?
– 我就喜欢你这点 戴维 – 肯尼 帮我把工具拿来?
– Hey. – This will be a hoot.
– 嘿 – 这小宝贝一会肯定要开始哭闹了
I’ll watch your little one so you and your man can have some snuggle time.
我帮你照顾小家伙 这样你们就可以小睡一会了
– I don’t want you to have to… – I am good with babies.
– 我不希望你们太… – 我照顾小孩最拿手了
Nonsense! Oh, give me the baby. Give me that baby!
别这样! 哦 把孩子给我 把孩子给我!
Shit!
该死!
Oh, my God!
哦 天啊!
Oh, my God!
天啊!
Oh, my God. Why isn’t there blood?!
天啊 为什么没流血?
Oh, my God! What’s happening?
哦 天啊! 怎么回事?
Thanks a lot, Mom. Now what am I supposed to use for my health project?
真是谢谢你了 妈 现在我的健康课作业怎么办?
I’m gonna fail and have to go to community college.
我会不及格的 然后必须上社区大学
– My future’s ruined! – Honey.
– 你毁了我的前途! – 亲爱的
Mrs. Fitzgerald, are you all right?
菲茨杰拉德太太 你没事吧?
– That baby was…? – Oh, did you think that LeBron was…?
– 那孩子是…? – 哦 你不会以为勒布朗是…?
– Heh-heh-heh. – No, no, no. LeBron was a sack of herbs.
– 哈哈哈 – 不 不 勒布朗是一袋草药
Oregano and basil mostly.
牛至叶 罗勒草什么的
We were just treating it like a real baby, you know, a summer project.
我们把它当做真的婴儿那么对待 这是孩子的暑假作业
– Extra credit. – It teaches the students that…
– 附加分 – 这让学生们了解到…
nothing ruins your life like children.
养孩子是最坑爹的事情
Yeah. And it also sends that message to teens, just stick to the big A.
是的 还让孩子们明白 永远都要
– Yeah, anal. – Abstinence, you meant.
– 要走后门 – 你的意思是 要禁欲
– Neither makes a baby. – He confuses them.
– 这两种都不会有孩子 – 他弄混了
Anyway, I’m so sorry, Edie. We promised our Casey…
总之很抱歉 伊迪 只是我们答应凯茜…
that we would treat it like a real baby all summer and we went too far.
这个夏天我们会把它当做真正的婴儿 但我们做得有点过了
Got used to it. Sorry.
习惯了就忘了 对不起
And so I’m embarrassed, actually.
真是太不好意思了
I think that would scare anybody.
我觉得这样谁都会吓到的
She’s very emotional. You should have seen her at the end of Free Willy.
她很敏感的 她看电影”人鱼的童话”都哭到不行了
Oh, stop it, Don.
别说了 唐
I love that whale.
我爱死那条鲸鱼了
Well, who loves campfire games?
谁想参加篝火晚会?
Oh, Don.
哦 唐
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s my pleasure to welcome you…
女士们先生们 欢迎大家来到…
to the annual singing Fitzgerald family jamboree.
一年一度的菲茨杰拉德家族欢乐演唱会
Our usual guests couldn’t be here this year.
我们的老朋友们没有来
– Uh, they’re called the Osmond family. – Ha-ha-ha!
– 他们是奥斯蒙德一家 – 哈哈!
But in their place this year we have the very talented and wonderful Miller family.
但是很高兴今年我们请到了米勒一家人
Let’s get this party started with a Fitzgerald family favorite.
先来一首菲茨杰拉德家族的代表作
# Breakin’ rocks in the hot sun #
# 烈日下辛苦劳作 #
# I fought the law and the law won #
# 我曾想做点坏事 但没有得逞 #
# It always does. #
# 法网恢恢 #
# I needed to steal some money ’cause I had none #
# 我曾想偷点钱 因为我身无分文 #
# I fought the law and the law won #
# 我曾想做点坏事 但没有得逞 #
Now just the Millers.
下面米勒一家合唱
# I fought the law and the law won #
# 我曾想做点坏事 但没有得逞 #
# I fought the law and the law won #
# 我曾想做点坏事 但没有得逞 #
I want you to imagine you committed a felony, you’ve been tried and sent to prison…
你要想象一下自己犯了重罪 正要被送往监狱…
and you’re standing out in the sun breaking up rocks with a sledgehammer. And…
你站在烈日下挥舞着锤子在砸石头…
# I fought the law and the law won #
# 我曾想做点坏事 但没有得逞 #
# I fought the law and the law won #
# 我曾想做点坏事 但没有得逞 #
– All right, that’s great. – That’s good.
– 唱得真棒 – 真棒
– That’s fun. Great song. – I love it. That was great.
– 这首歌♥真不错 – 我喜欢
Great choice.
有品位
– Great, kids. – Well, that was an A for effort.
– 好了 孩子们 – 唱的真不错
– Whoo! I got the spirit! – That’s great.
– 哇! 我掌握了! – 太好了
It’s a bird, it’s a plane.
是小鸟 是飞机
– U.S. Air Force, U.S. Air Force. Ollie North! – Take me home to…
– 美国空军 美国空军 单脚滑滑板! – 带我回…
Looks like a sea animal.
看起来像海洋生物
Hammer tooth shark.
锤齿鲨
We wait until they fall asleep and then we sneak into their tent, all right?
等到他们都睡着了 我们就溜进帐篷 怎么样?
Mm. Cut their throats.
割断他们的脖子
– What? – What?
– 什么? – 怎么了?
No. Jesus.
不 天啊
– What the fuck’s wrong with you? – Nothing.
– 你在想什么呢? – 没什么
I wasn’t saying to do that. I didn’t say that. I thought you were gonna say it.
我没要那么做 我以为你要那么做才说的
You thought I was gonna say “cut their throats”?
你以为我要说”割断他们的喉咙”?
Who do you think I am, Scarface? Give me a break.
你以为我是黑社会老大吗? 饶了我吧
– Herbert Walker Bush! – Paper airplanes!
– 老布♥什♥! – 纸飞机!
Clowns. Clown sandwich.
小丑 小丑三明治
Don’t lock the baby in the basement.
不要把婴儿锁在地下室里
What I was gonna say: We sneak into the tent, steal Don’s keys…
我要说的是: 我们溜进帐篷 偷了唐的钥匙…
then we take the RV back to the shop and I can swap out their radiator hose for ours.
然后把房♥车开到修车厂 我就可以把他们的散热管换走
Ah. Got it.
啊 明白了
– The Earth! The Earth is on fire! – Atmosphere.
– 地球! 地球着火了! – 大气层
Uh…
呃…
Plain and simple.
非常简单
AI Qaeda! AI Qaeda!
基♥地♥组♥织♥! 基♥地♥组♥织♥!
It was “plain and simple.”
是”非常简单”
– See, this was a plane, and then this w… – Oh, Melissa, of course it was.
– 看 这是”飞” 下面是… – 哦 梅丽莎 原来是这个
That is so clever.
真是聪明
Gosh, I thought it was really good.
我真心觉得你画得不错
I’m a terrible drawer, so…
我不会画画…
– Great, because you’re up next. – Ah.
– 棒极了 该你上了 – 啊
– Passing the baton. – Nice work.
– 接力棒给你 – 画得不错
Okay. Let’s go, Kenny.
开始吧 肯尼
All right, Kenny, here we go.
好了 肯尼 开始吧
– Draw your brains out. – All right, that’s a line.
– 好好画 – 好的 这是一条线
– A slash. Guns and Roses. – Looks like a spring.
– 一条斜线 枪与玫瑰 – 像一条溪水
What is that? That’s a… Kenny, come on, draw something, buddy.
这是啥? 是… 呃 快画 肯尼
– String. – Come on, son.
– 绳子 – 加油 儿子
– Rocket. It’s a rocket or… – Is that a cucumber?
– 火箭 是火箭还是… – 是黄瓜吗?
This is really stupid.
这太愚蠢了
Is it a bad drawing, Kenny? My guess is “bad drawing.”
这是幅下流画吧 肯尼? 我的答案是”下流画”
– It’s… – Oh! A penis! A penis.
– 这是… – 我知道了!是阴♥茎♥
It’s a big dick. Those are balls.
是个大鸡鸡 那是蛋蛋
It’s a big black dick! It’s a drawing. Black! It’s a big black dick.
这是一个黑色大鸡鸡!
It’s a big, big black cock!
是一个又大又黑的鸡鸡!
Black Cock Down!
黑鸡坠落!
It’s a skateboard.
这是滑板
– It’s a skateboard, great. – A skateboard. Of course it is.
– 没错 是滑板 – 当然了 就是滑板
– It’s a big black skateboard. – I see it.
– 是一个巨大的黑的滑板 – 我看出来了