冒牌家庭（2013）

好了 大个子 大家说的那点大♥麻♥在哪?
– This is a little more than a smidge. – Oh, dear.
– 这可不止一点 – 哦 天呐
Calm down. Okay? We’re gonna be fine.
冷静点 好吗? 没事的
Oh, yeah, sure, right.
哦 是啊 对 没事
All we’re doing is smuggling two metric tons of marijuana…
我们只是要用房♥车拉着两吨♥大♥麻♥…
across an international border in a rented motor home!
穿越国境而已!
I don’t see what could possibly go wrong! Ugh!
我也觉得这没什么大不了! 呃!
Okay, uh, I’m gonna make a phone call real quick.
好吧 呃 我要打个电♥话♥
Kenny, watch the pot.
肯尼 盯着点
It’s a great place.
这地方真不错
Fuck you.
去你的
Hey. Buddy.
嘿 伙计
I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. I’m like an amazing sculptor.
我告诉你一个小秘密 我是个很棒的雕塑家
– What are you talking about? – I’ve been working all day.
– 你说什么呢? – 我都忙了一天了
It’s an orca and he’s breaching and I’m balls deep in his blow hole.
我在雕刻一条正在我老二下挣扎的虎鲸 因为我把我的老二戳进它的喷气孔深处了
What the fuck?
你♥他♥妈♥的在说什么啊?
Uh-oh, something wrong?
嗯哦 出什么问题了?
Yeah! Something’s wrong. Something’s very, very wrong. Okay?
是啊! 出问题了 出了很大很大的问题 好吧?
You said “a smidge of pot.”
你说是”一点货”
This is not a smidge.
这可不是一点
– Smidge and a half? No? – No.
– 比一点多那么一点点? 不是吗? – 不是
You got me moving enough weed to kill Willie-fucking-Nelson, man!
你让我运的大♥麻♥都够把他妈的威利·尼尔森毒死了 伙计!
Okay? They’re using a goddamn bucket brigade to put it on the RV as we speak!
是吗? 咱们说话的时候他们正他妈的排成人墙往房♥车里装呢!
You walked in, told them you were picking up for Pablo Chacon and they were like:
你进去跟他们说你要帮巴勃罗·察孔取货 他们只是说:
– “No problem!” – Wait a minute.
– “没问题!” – 等等
Why do you sound surprised? You told them we were coming, right?
你那么惊讶是怎么回事? 你跟他们说了我们要来的 对吧?
Relax!
放松!
Everything’s gonna be fine, man. I greased the guard in lane one at the border.
一切都会没事的 伙计 我贿赂了边境一号♥出口的人
He’ll let you breeze through, I’ll see you in the morning!
他会放你们过境的 我们明天早晨见!
I’ll even buy you brunch.
我会给你买♥♥早午餐吃
Can I change the subject for a second?
我能说点别的了吗?
If you get back and see the sculpture…
等你回来看到这雕塑…
you’re gonna look at it and be like, “Whoa, those balls are huge.”
你看着它肯定会想 “哇 蛋蛋可真大”
The balls are the only part that are not anatomically correct.
只有蛋蛋是不符合解剖学标准的尺寸
Everything else is perfect.
其他部分都是完美的
But I made the balls a little larger as a tribute to my manhood.
只是我为了赞颂我的性能力而把蛋蛋雕得大了一点
Fuck you, Brad.
操 布莱德
That’s the David I love!
这才是我爱的戴维!
Fuck you too! Come on, let’s do this!
来操吧! 来吧
Ha, ha! I’ll see you soon, my little drug mule!
哈哈! 我们很快就见面了 我的小骡子!
Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw…
哼啊! 哼啊! 哼啊…
Shit!
该死!
Oh, no. Thank you. I’m good.
哦 不用了 谢谢 我不想吃
You reject my mother’s gift?
你拒绝我妈妈的礼物?
I mean, I don’t know whether I’d put it in those terms.
我是说 我不知道该怎么说
– Shut up and take the fruit. – Right. Got it.
– 闭嘴然后接着水果 – 对 拿着
Thank you, ma’am.
谢谢 女士
– You wanna get us killed? – What?
– 你想害死我们吗? – 什么?
Namaste.
阿弥陀佛
Whoa.
喔
I think Snoop Dogg would fuck this fridge.
我觉得史诺普·道格肯定爱死这个冰箱了
At least it keeps it fresh.
至少可以保鲜
Well, as long as no one sets foot inside the RV…
哦 只要没有人上车…
looks through a window, or weighs us…
从车窗外往里瞧 或者给我们过地磅…
– we should be pretty good. – We’ll be fine.
– 我们应该就没事 – 我们会没事的
We’re totally fucked.
我们完蛋了
Aw, shit. What the hell is this?
啊 该死 这是他妈的什么?
– What’s it look like? It’s a cop, genius. – Be cool.
– 像什么啊? 是个条子 天才 – 冷静点
– Remember we’re the Millers. Okay. – Okay. Yeah. Okay. Cool.
– 记住我们是米勒一家 好的 – 好的 好的
– Oh. Buenos dias, officer. – Hola.
– 哦 你好 警官 – 你好
I’m sorry if we were violating some of your traffic laws.
如果违反了你们的交通法规我很抱歉
You see, the family and I got into a heated game of road bingo and…
是这样 我们家参加了一项路上游戏…
– Cut the shit. – I’m sorry?
– 别废话了 – 什么?
I saw you leaving Pablo Chacon’s compound.
我看见你从巴勃罗·察孔的营地出来
And we both know if I search your mobile home, what I’d find.
我们都知道如果我搜你的车 会搜出什么来
Much prison time for such things.
那会蹲很久监狱的
Yeah. Yeah.
是 是
But I don’t feel like arresting anybody…
不过我没心情抓人…
so I’ll just simply take my bribe and I’ll be on my way.
所以我直接受点贿然后就走了
Well, all right. Ha, ha.
哦 好啊 哈哈
This is what I’m talking about. Great! How much we talking? 100? 200?
很好 正合我意! 你想要多少? 100? 200?
– One thousand. – A thousand?
– 一千 – 一千?
– Mm-hm. – What, are you buying a house down here?
– 嗯 – 什么 你要攒钱买♥♥♥房♥♥吗?
It’s a lot. Um, we don’t have that sort of cash on us right now.
太多了 嗯 我们现在身上没有那么多现金
You see, that’s gonna be a problem.
是这样 那可就麻烦了
Yeah, yeah.
是 是啊
Maybe you can offer me something else. Say, uh…
或者你们可以提供些别的 别如说 呃…
something a little more personal?
特殊服务之类的?
– Oh. – Oh.
– 哦 – 哦
I gotcha. Rose, suck his dick.
明白了 萝丝 去给他吹♥箫♥
Fuck you, I’m not sucking anything.
你♥妈♥的♥ 我才不做
Come on. Will you be a team player?
行了 有点团队精神吧?
– Are you fucking kidding me? – Will you stop being selfish?
– 你♥他♥妈♥是耍我呢吗? – 你别自私了好吗?
Please, please, se?ora. No need to be alarmed.
等等 等等 女士 不要太紧张
See, I’m, how you say, a man who prefers the company of other men.
是这样 我是 按照你们的说法 是个喜欢男人的人
– Oh. – Oh.
– 哦 – 哦
– David, suck his dick. – Rose.
– 戴维 给他吹♥箫♥ – 萝丝
Five seconds tops. Just cradle the balls.
揉他的蛋蛋 最多五秒就完了
Mm.
嗯
Come on, David. Be a team player. You’re gonna have fun.
行了 戴维 有点团队精神 很爽的
Um…
嗯…
Okay. Kenny! Front and center, buddy.
好吧 肯尼! 过来 兄弟
Uh…
呃…
Okay, so what’s the plan?
好了 什么计划?
Go up there and pretend to and then you’re gonna jump him?
过去假装友好然后干掉他?
The plan is, um…
计划是这样 呃…
Here. Come here, come here.
来 过来 过来
Okay, um, let’s see. You, you’re this bottle cap.
好了 这样 你 你就是这个瓶盖
Right? And I am this cigarette butt.
明白吗? 而我是这个烟头
Okay, that’s us. All right? Okay? He’s over there, right by this, that bush.
好了 这是我们 明白了吗? 他在那边 在灌木丛旁边
We’ll make him the pebble.
我们用石头代表他
You will go and meet him behind the bush right over there.
你去灌木丛后面找他
You suck his dick, and we get outta here.
你给他吹♥箫♥ 然后我们走
– Okay? Bring it in, on three. – What?! No!
– 简单吧? 来吧 等我数到三 – 什么?! 不!
What do you mean no? What’s wrong?
你说不什么意思? 有什么问题?
– Well, I’m not gay. – Are you sure?
– 哦 我不是基佬 – 你确定吗?
I mean, you never really know until you know.
我是说 你没试过怎么会知道
– No. I’m not gay. – Okay. All right. Calm down.
– 不 我不是基佬 – 好吧 这样 冷静一下
Look, this gay panic situation you’re having now, it’s coming off a little homophobic.
是这样 你现在这种搞基恐惧症 恰恰说明你是基佬
What, because I don’t want a penis in my mouth?
什么 因为我不想给他吹♥箫♥?
Exactly. It’s exactly what homophobic means.
完全正确 基佬都这样
Look, you go over there, you just, you know, you pretend it’s a girl’s dick.
听着 你过去 你就假装那是个妹子的老二
Any girl’s dick you want.
任何一个你想要的妹子的老二
– I’m not sure I agree with that logic. – Look, listen to me.
– 我觉得这逻辑上说不通啊 – 来 听我的
– What is he saying to him? – I have no idea.
– 他在给他讲什么? – 不知道
All right? Just listen to me. All right?
好吗? 就听我的 好吗?
Come on, man.
上吧 伙计
This is your chance to be the hero.
这是你成为英雄的机会
– I don’t know, David. – Don’t do it for me.
– 我不明白 戴维 – 你这么做不是为了我
Don’t even do it for you. Do it for the girls. For Rose and Casey.
也不是为了你自己 而是为了她们两个姑娘 为了萝丝和凯茜
Because, believe me, they won’t last two days in a Mexican prison.
相信我 因为她们在墨西哥的监狱里两天都坚持不了
– Okay. – Attaboy!
– 好吧 – 好孩子!
– I’ll do it for the girls. – I’m proud of you.
– 为了她们两个姑娘 – 我为你骄傲
Hey. What’s going on?
嘿 怎么回事?
Somebody sucking my dick, or am I getting 1000 pesos?
要么来个人给我吹♥箫♥ 要么给我一千比索(相当于77美金)
No, he’s gonna w…
不 他会给你…
– “Pesos”? Why didn’t you say so? – Mm-hm. A thousand.
– “比索”? 你怎么不早说? – 嗯 一千
Oh, well, that’s like, what, 80 bucks American?
哦 哦 那就相当于 大概 80美元吧?
Here. Here you go. A hundred. Keep the change.
给 给你 一百块 别找了
Can’t believe you were gonna suck that guy’s dick. Come on, let’s go.
真不敢相信你居然想给那个家伙吹♥箫♥ 行了 我们走
All vehicles, please proceed slowly in assigned lanes…