冒牌家庭（2013）

Trying to find our way to the zoo.
正在找去动物园的路
It’s two blocks up that way, take a left, two blocks…
直走两个街区之后 左转 再过两个街区…
Holy fucking shit.
真♥他♥妈♥的
Thank you, dickheads.
谢谢 混♥蛋♥们
# Hey little lady, don’t you say maybe #
# 嘿小妞 别着急下结论 #
Rose, the guy at the bar asked for you by name.
萝丝 吧台那个家伙点名找你
Treat him nice.
对他温柔点
# Baby, I’ma show you how to #
# 宝贝 我要让你看看 #
Yeah!
爽!
Hi. I’m Rose.
嗨 我是萝丝
– Hi. Hi. – What…? Oh, please. No.
– 嗨 嗨 – 什么…? 哦 不行
– No, Rose. Hey, Rose, Rose. – No, no, no, no.
– 别走 萝丝 嘿 萝丝 萝丝 – 不 不行 不 不
– Please. Listen to me. – Duh, duh, duh, duh.
– 求你 听我说 – 停 停 停 停
Ch-ch-ch-chuh.
打住 打住
You asshole.
你个混♥蛋♥
Don’t worry. You don’t have to get naked and all that stuff.
别担心 我不需要你脱♥光♥什么的
– Unless you want to, you know. Oof! – Mm-hm.
– 除非你想脱 其实 嗷! – 嗯
– Fuck. – What do you want?
– 操 – 你要干什么?
How would you like to spend 4th of July weekend making 10 grand?
你愿不愿意用国♥庆♥节的周末赚1万块?
– What? – Rose, listen.
– 什么? – 萝丝 听我说
All I’m asking is that you go to Mexico with me.
我只需要你陪我去一趟墨西哥
All right? And then we drive home together in an RV.
好吧? 然后我们一起开着房♥车回来
Mm-hm.
嗯
– And that RV has some pot in it. – Drug dealing?
– 不过那辆房♥车里边有点货 – 贩毒?
No, it’s not drug dealing. It’s not. No, it’s smuggling.
不 不是贩毒 不是 不是 是运毒
– Are you out of your mind? – Rose, listen to me.
– 你疯了? – 萝丝 听我说
Now, me crossing the border by myself, huge red flag. Huge, all right?
是这样 我自己过境 太扎眼 很招人注意 对吧?
But families, they don’t get a second look.
不过要是一家子的话 他们就不会在意了
So, Rose, I need you to be my wife.
萝丝 我需要你演我老婆
That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.
这可是我听说过最蠢的事了
Look, Rose, 10,000 bucks, and your flight’s already paid for.
你看 萝丝 1万块 而且机票钱不用你掏
You can’t buy me.
你不能拿钱买♥♥我
I’m not buying you, all right? I’m renting you.
我不是买♥♥你 好吧? 我是租你
Hmm.
嗯
Like Pretty Woman.
像”风月俏佳人”里那样
Pretty Woman? She was a prostitute.
“风月俏佳人”? 她是个妓♥女♥
And I don’t trust you.
而且我也不信任你
– What did she say? – What the fuck do you think? She said no.
– 她怎么说? – 你♥他♥妈♥觉得呢? 她不干
Cool. So I guess it’s just us, then. A little father and son bonding trip to Mexico.
好吧 估计那就剩咱俩了 那么 就是墨西哥父子游
Are you kidding? You and me alone in a van? It’ll look like the pervert Olympics.
你逗我吧? 咱俩男的开车走? 像不像搞基奥♥运♥会?
No way. Absolutely not. No, we need a girl.
不行 绝对不行 不行 我们需要个女的
And unless you can think of someone that can leave town tomorrow, I’m fucked.
除非你能想到某个人跟我们明天出发 不然我就完蛋了
I know a girl.
我认识个女的
I don’t get it. What’s in it for me?
我不明白 有我什么好处?
I’m thinking a roof over your head, some actual hot food. That’d be good enough.
我觉得有住处 有热饭 已经挺好的了
I’m thinking 1000.
我要一千块
Fine, 1000 bucks, but that’s it.
一千就一千 不过就这么多了
Great. And if we get caught I’ll say you drugged and kidnapped me. Cool?
好的 而且如果我们被抓了我就说是你贩毒而且还绑♥架♥了我 好吧?
Yeah, it’s cool. Yeah, that’s fine. But that’s it.
行 成交 不过就这些了
Kenny, meet your new sister.
肯尼 来认识一下你的新妹妹
This is great. I’ve always wanted a sister.
太好了 我一直想要个妹妹
– Get it off me. Get it off! Get off! – Hey, come on. Let go.
– 放开我 放开! 放手! – 嘿 行了 放开
– Come on. We gotta clean you up. – What’s wrong with you?
– 行了 要给你换个造型 – 你有完没完?
– Don’t say that. – I didn’t mean to make her uncomfortable.
– 别这么说话 – 我并没想让她不舒服
# Wild child #
# 狂野的孩子 #
Boner Garage!
勃起终结者!
# Going all out Going for broke #
# 全面突破 #
Oh, great. Rose, I’m glad I caught you.
哦 太好了 萝丝 还好碰到你了
I wanted to go over a couple of minor policy changes…
我要给你宣布几项…
– that we have here at the club. – Like what?
– 俱乐部制度的新变化 – 例如?
Like, I want you to start having sex with the customers for money.
例如 要你开始向客户卖♥♥身
What? That’s totally illegal, Todd.
什么? 那是违法的 托德
Come on, what are you gonna do?
行了 那你还能做什么?
I gotta stay competitive with those fuckers who opened up across the street.
我要跟街对面的那些婊♥子♥们竞争
You mean the Apple Store?
你是说苹果专卖♥♥店么?
Yeah, and they’re killing us.
是 他们快把我们搅黄了
Oh, God.
哦 天呐
That’s it. I can’t do it. I quit.
那好吧 我不行 我不干了
Did you hear the good news?
你听到那个好消息了吗?
Now we get to fuck the customers for money.
现在我们可以卖♥♥身赚钱了
– Wha…? – Boner Garage loves it.
– 什么…? – 勃起终结者喜欢这个
I’m out of here. I am out of here. I quit.
我不行 我不干了 不干了
驱逐通知
Fuck.
该死
Fuck.
该死
So, Casey, I guess it’s nice for you to get your hair cut.
凯茜 我觉得你换个发型比较好
Being homeless and all…
作为无家可归的…
I’m not homeless, fucktard. I have a home. But I left because my parent…
我不是无家可归的 混♥蛋♥ 我有家 只是我父母的原因才离家出走…
Shut up, okay? Please. I don’t need to hear your hard-luck backstory right now.
闭嘴 好吗? 拜托了 我不想听你痛诉悲惨身世
I rented Precious on Netflix eight months ago and I still haven’t watched the thing.
我八个月之前租的”珍爱”到现在还没看呢
Here. You know what?
给你们 这样好吧?
Just give me a little peace and quiet and buy yourself some new clothes.
让我安静一会 你们自己去买♥♥些新衣服吧
You know, the kind of stuff that loved children wear. Not this garbage.
那种一看就是好孩子穿的衣服 不要这种垃圾
All right? Thank you.
好吗? 谢谢
Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop.
喔 喔 喔 等等
You’re fine. You already like a total dipshit.
你不需要 你已经是朽木不可雕也
Here. You’re gonna need it. You look like Eminem from 8 Mile.
给 你需要多花一点 你看起来像是”8英里”里的艾米纳姆
Go with her. Make sure she doesn’t steal it.
跟着她 别让她跑了
And stay the fuck out of Hot Topic.
而且别他妈去热门话题买♥♥
David Clark?
戴维·克拉克吧?
Okay, what are we doing today?
好的 要剪个什么发型?
Yeah, I say, give me something that says:
要我说 给我剪一个那种看起来像
“I get up every morning at 5:30 and commute for an hour to a bullshit job…
“我每天早晨5:30起床赶一个小时的路去上个糟糕的班…
where my boss expects me to kiss his balls all day…
老板整天盼着我俯首帖耳…
so I can afford to keep my ungrateful kids decked out in Dora the Explorer shit…
这样才能供得起我那些不孝的孩子们 穿得像爱探险的朵拉一样…
and my wife up to her fat ass in self-help videos…
供起我老婆撅着大屁♥股♥在自助租碟机前找片…
until the day I get the courage to put a shotgun in my mouth.”
直到某一天我忍♥不了了饮弹自尽”
Right here.
就我这样的
Yeah. That’s it. That’s the one.
对 就是那样 他那样的
丹佛国际机场
All right.
好的
Get a full body check.
全身检查
Sorry.
抱歉
Hi, you folks have everything you need?
嗨 你们有什么需要的吗?
Oh, you betcha!
哦 是啊!
Yeah, we’re heading out on a family vacay here, you know? Off to see grandma, huh?
是 我们是家庭旅行 懂吧? 去探望奶奶
Well, you have a lovely family.
真是幸福的一家子
Oh, thank you very much. Yeah, this is my son, Kenny Miller, right here.
哦 非常感谢 是 这是我儿子 肯尼·米勒 这个
– And my lovely daughter… – Casey?
– 还有我可爱的女儿… – 凯茜?
Casey. Casey Miller, that’s right. And I’m David Miller.
凯茜 凯茜·米勒 对了 我叫戴维·米勒
We’re the Millers.
我们是米勒一家
Yeah, now, you know, I got my hands full here. Couple of kooky teenagers.
你看 真够手忙脚乱的了 带着两个叛逆期的孩子
Yeah, I’m going through all those typical teenage girl issues like:
是啊 我正在经历一些经常困扰未成年少女的事情 比如:
Finals and college applications…
期末考试和大学申请…
and am I gonna get asked to prom.
还要受邀参加舞会
Plus, I haven’t gotten my period in two months…
而且 我已经两个月没来大姨妈了…
which is really weird because I’ve mostly just been doing anal.
真是奇怪因为我最近一直都是肛♥交♥的
Ha… ha… ha! Oh, that’s enough.
哈… 哈… 哈! 够了
Well, thank you for your help, “Natalie.”
哦 谢谢你的帮助”娜塔莉”
Take your seats, please.
请坐好
You fucking kidding me?
你♥他♥妈♥耍我呢?
I’m good. I got it. Right over here. Thanks.
没事 我自己可以 就在这 谢谢
Thank you. Sorry.
谢谢 借光
– Honey! Hi! You made it! – Mm-hm. Eat a dick.
– 亲爱的! 嗨! 你赶上了! – 嗯 滚蛋
– Sorry, sorry. Okay. – Mm-mm.
– 抱歉 抱歉 好吧 – 嗯
– Wow, you look really, like… – Don’t. Just don’t, all right?
– 喔 你的样子 像… – 闭嘴 别说 成吗?
Hi, Mom.
嗨 妈
– Jesus. – Mm-hm.
– 天啊 – 嗯
And who’s that?
那个是?
Well, that’s your daughter. Casey.
哦 那是你女儿 凯茜
Hey.
嘿