冒牌家庭（2013）

– Mind your fucking business, old man. – Oh, my God. You’re a dude. Ha, ha!
– 别管闲事 老家伙 – 哦 天呐 你是个小伙子 哈哈!
That scared me. Your voice was so much deeper than your bone structure.
吓到我了 你的声音比你的身材吓人多了
These assholes are trying to steal my iPhone.
这些混♥蛋♥要偷我的iPhone
You have an iPhone? Aren’t you homeless?
你还有iPhone? 你不是流浪♥女♥吗?
So? Fuck you, dude.
那又怎么样? 你♥妈♥的♥ 该死
Okay, this was fun. Carry on.
好了 挺有意思 你们继续
– Come on, let’s go. – What? No.
– 走啊 我们走 – 什么? 不行
These guys are picking on her and it’s not fair.
这些人在欺负她 这可不公平
What you gonna do, white boy? You some type of hero?
你想怎样 小朋友? 你要英雄救美啊?
Not a hero. He’s a dumb kid.
不是英雄 他只是个傻孩子
I got an idea. Leave the girl alone. Just move along. Huh, what do you say?
我有个主意 别管这女孩了 直接走开吧 哈 你们说呢?
– “Move along”? – Yeah.
– “直接走开”? – 是
– What are you, some kind of cop? – He’s not a cop. He’s actually really cool.
– 你是什么人 条子? – 他不是条子 他其实很厉害
– Thanks. – He’s a drug dealer.
– 谢谢 – 他是个毒贩
– Really? – Goddamn it, Kenny.
– 什么? – 多嘴 肯尼
Give me your backpack.
把你的背包给我
I don’t wanna fight.
我不想打架
Well, there’s not gonna be a fight. See, you either give me the backpack…
没有架可打 这样 要么你把背包给我…
or I’m gonna stab you in the neck and take it.
要么我抹了你的脖子自己拿
It’s a real Sophie’s choice here, huh? All right.
真是苏菲的选择啊? 好吧
Okay, backpack it is.
好吧 给你们背包
If you wa…
如果你要…
Run, Kenny!
快跑 肯尼!
You’re dead meat!
你死定了!
Hey, sorry, I dropped my phone. Are we still going out tonight or what?
嘿 抱歉 我手♥机♥丢了 今晚我们还要出去吗?
Fucking shit! Shit!
该死! 妈的!
Oh, shit.
哦 该死
Sorry. This is fucking dumb.
抱歉 这太傻了
Whoa-ho-ho, motherfucker.
啊哦 混♥蛋♥
– We got you now. – Unh!
– 抓到你了 – 呃!
– Do whatever’s in the safe too. – Look at that.
– 再看看盒子里 – 看啊
It’s not even my money. If you take that my boss will kill me.
那不是我的钱 你们拿走我老板会杀了我的
You okay, David? I can help. I’ll call the cops.
你没事吧 戴维? 我可以帮你 我可以报♥警♥
No, I’m okay.
别报♥警♥ 我没事
丹佛第一蛋饼店
布莱德·嘉德林格来电
Hey!
嘿!
Whoa, what the…! Unh!
喔 他妈的…! 呃!
When Mr. Brad calls, you answer! Get in there!
布莱德打电♥话♥的时候 你要接! 进去!
Please don’t tell me where we’re going. I love surprises.
别告诉我要去哪里 我喜欢惊喜
– All right. Okay. – Can I help you?
– 好的 可以 – 我可以帮你吗?
Hi. You ordered two black guys.
嗨 你订的两个黑鬼送到了
Oh. Okay. This guy.
哦 好吧 是这家伙
No. David Clark here to see Mr. Gurdlinger, please?
不是 是戴维·克拉克来见嘉德林格先生 麻烦你通报一下?
I’ll tell him you’re here. Can I get you something?
我会告诉他你来了 需要喝些什么?
Coffee. Tea. Fresca.
咖啡 茶 弗雷斯卡
Hmm.
嗯
You know what, a Fresca sounds really good.
来罐弗雷斯卡吧
– You got it. – Appreciate it.
– 没问题 – 谢谢
Hold on one second. You guys want anything? It’s on me.
稍等 你们要不要喝点什么? 我请客
Replenishes electrolytes.
补充电解质
Don’t want you cramping up when you jerk each other off.
免得你俩一会互相撸的时候腿抽筋
Nice meeting you.
很高兴见到你
Easy.
轻点
Easy. Oof!
轻点 嗷!
Okay. I’m gonna hang out here if that’s all right.
好吧 如果你们不介意 我想在这儿逛一逛
Oh, thank you for that. That’s very helpful.
哦 谢谢 这很有帮助
Oh! David Clark.
哦! 戴维·克拉克
You’re a hard man to find. Take it easy on the plastic.
你还真不好找 别因为站在塑料布上就紧张
Whoa, Brad, what the fuck is this?
喔 布莱德 这是他妈什么情况?
Look, man, I was gonna call you back. Do not kill me.
是这样的老兄 我本来要给你打回去的 别杀我
– I got robbed, okay. I swear. – Whoa, whoa, whoa.
– 我被抢了 好吧 我发誓 – 喔 喔 喔
What are you…? What…?
你怎么…? 什么…?
Oh, the plastic?
哦 你说塑料布?
Yeah, the plastic.
是啊 你都用塑料布了
I’ve seen Dexter.
我也看过”嗜血判官”
Buddy, I’m putting in a new skylight, you idiot. Ha, ha.
伙计 我只是装了个新的天窗 你个傻货 哈哈
You should have seen your face just now. You shit a brick.
你真该照照镜子 你都吓傻了
Well, what am I supposed to think, man?
我还能怎么想 伙计?
You’ve got these thugs throwing a bag over my head. Come on.
你让这些家伙们蒙上我的脸 行了
I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to freak you out.
我很抱歉 我没想吓你
– It’s fine. – You do know I’ve killed people though?
– 没事 – 不过你知道我杀过人的对吧?
Yeah, Brad, I know.
是的 布莱德 我知道
Ha… ha. All right, have a seat.
哈… 哈 好了 坐下
Whoa, what the fuck is that?
喔 这是他妈什么?
What? Oh, my orca? Yeah, I bought an orca.
什么? 哦 我的虎鲸? 嗯 我买♥♥了一条虎鲸
I make a lot of money.
我赚的钱很多
So you bought a whale?
那你就买♥♥了条鲸鱼?
Well, I don’t like sports cars.
是啊 我不喜欢跑车
– Yeah, yeah. – So where’s my money, David?
– 嗯 是 – 那么我的钱哪去了 戴维?
Come on, man. We go back.
行行好 伙计 我们认识这么久了
We do go back. But it’s not college anymore.
我们确实认识很久了 但这不是上大学的时候
We’re not selling lids out of my dorm room.
我们也不是在宿舍倒卖♥♥大♥麻♥的小贩了
And you owe me $43,000.
话说回来 你还欠我4万3
I told you, I got robbed, Brad. They took everything I had, man.
我告诉你了 我被抢了 布莱德 他们抢了我的全部财产 伙计
This week’s drop, 22 grand of my money that I’d saved. I’m fucked.
这一周的货款 还有我存的2万2 我完蛋了
Listen, this is a fucked-up situation. But I might have a win-win for both of us.
听着 这确实是个糟糕的局面 不过我也许能让我们双赢
– Great. – I have a smidge of very choice…
– 好啊 – 我从墨西哥订购了一点…
mari-ju-ana down in Mexico…
上等的大♥麻♥…
and I need it here by Sunday night.
而我需要在周日晚上运过来
My regular courier is out because he got gunned down.
给我运货的人被枪杀了
That’s where you come in.
所以叫你来
You could be my mule. I need someone I can trust.
你可以当我的骡子 我需要一个可以信任的人来运货
Go to Mexico, bring it back by Sunday night, not only will I forgive your debt…
去趟墨西哥 周日晚上把货运回来 我不仅会一笔勾销你欠我的债务…
I will pay you a standard courier fee of $100,000.
还会付给你一份10万的运费
You’re gonna give me 100 grand to move a smidge across the border?
你要给我10万 就为了运一点货过境?
Smidge and a half. It’s nothing.
比一点点多了那么一点吧 没多少
Dude, I got rolled by the fucking cast of Annie.
兄弟 我只是个小角色而已
I come walking in here and you ask me to be an international drug dealer.
我一进来你要我当跨国毒枭
This is easy money, David. All you gotta do is pop down to Mexico…
这钱唾手可得 戴维 你所要做的就是飞去墨西哥…
go to this address, tell them you’re there to pick up for Pablo Chacon.
找到这个地址 告诉他们你是来取巴勃罗·察孔的货的
– Who the fuck is Pablo Chacon? – I am.
– 谁他妈是巴勃罗·察孔? – 我
You don’t get respect from Mexicans when your name is Brad Gurdlinger, right?
叫布莱德·嘉德林格的话 墨西哥人才不会正眼看你 明白吗?
I mean, that’s white in any language. See? Big Bad Brad thought of everything.
我是说 那一听就是个白人的名字 看 大坏蛋布莱德的计划总是万无一失
I don’t know. I don’t think so, man. This is way out of my league.
不行 我不行 大哥 这对我来说难度太大了
If something goes wrong, it’s a federal crime.
万一被抓住 可是触犯联邦法律的
If I got pinched at the border, trying to cross over with more than a pound, you’re talking like, um…
如果我被逮到试图带一磅毒品过境 差不多 嗯…
Twenty-five years in Mexican prison. If you get a happy judge.
会被判在墨西哥监狱服刑二十五年 还是在法官心情好的情况下
Yeah. Jeez. Not good.
是啊 天呐 是很冒险
– Although, you’re forgetting one thing. – What?
– 不过 你忘掉了一件事 – 什么?
You don’t have a fucking choice.
你♥他♥妈♥根本没得选
So now you’re gonna become an even bigger drug dealer?
那么你现在就是要成为一个更大的毒贩了?
Drug smuggler, Kenny. There’s a difference.
只运毒 肯尼 不一样的
You’re probably gonna get searched at the border.
你过境的时候是有可能被检查的
No offense, you look like a total drug dealer.
不是我说 你看起来真的像个毒贩
– No shit. Thanks, dude. – You could wear a disguise.
– 没错 谢谢 伙计 – 你可以化化装
– What? – A disguise.
– 什么? – 化装
That’s what I thought. A disguise.
我就知道你说的是这个 化装
So what should I dress up? Like a… I don’t know. What’s the hot Halloween outfit these days?
我化装成什么? 最近流行的万圣节装扮是什么?
Bane from Batman? Someone like that? Wear something over my face?
像蝙蝠侠里的贝恩那样的? 脸上带个什么东西?
There’s no drugs in here. You’ve got nothing to worry about.
我这里没有毒品 你们不需要担心
Great idea.
好主意
Hey, pardon me. Hi.
不好意思 嗨
Hate to bug you, but I’m trying to get the fam to the zoo and I’m lost as all heck.
抱歉打扰你们 我们一家想去动物园 可是我找不到方向了
Fuck off, real-life Flanders.
滚蛋 弗兰德斯真人版
It’s my fault. When it comes to reading maps, I sure can be an old flibbertigibbet.
是我的错 一看地图 我就傻了
Hey. No parking here, sir.
嘿 先生 这里不能停车
Perfect. Fucking tourists.
活该被罚 傻♥逼♥游客
Oh, jeez. I’m awful sorry, officer.
哦 天呐 我非常抱歉 警官
I don’t know which way is up around here.
我不知道该走哪条路了
No problem. Our city can get confusing sometimes.
没关系 我们的城市有时候确实容易迷路