婚礼傲客 Wedding Crashers（2005）

And so, after my ninth stint in rehab,
嗯…科雷…喔…科雷
um, Craig… oh, Craig.
科雷是唯一一个仍对我充满信心的人
Craig was the only one who still believed in me.
到现在，我已经八个月 没有碰那玩意儿了
Been sober now for eight months.
呃…
And uh…
我每天都会感谢上帝…
I thank God every day,
感谢上帝赐予我这么好的一个朋友
for sending me a friend like Craig.
我爱你，兄弟
I love you, man.
我从来不认为我姐会找一个…
I never thought that my sister would find someone
像她自己一样留意别人看法的人 做老公…
who cared about what other people thought
直到我遇见了科雷…
as much as she did until I met Craig.
呃…
Uh…
嗯… 大家都知道…
Um… as you all know,
我姐和科雷都是律师…
my sister and Craig are both lawyers
都在纽约的一家大型 律师事务所工作
at big law firms in New York.
但这不是他们唯一的共同点
But that’s not the only thing they have in common.
嗯，他们喜欢同样的颜色
Um, they both like the color green
绿色，就像科雷的眼睛 还有金钱（美钞是绿色的）
like Craig’s eyes and money.
嗯，呃…
Um, uh…
曾经有一个人曾告诉我
you know, someone once told me that
真爱就是…
true love is
真爱就是两人心心相映
the soul’s recognition of its counterpoint in another.
我想那就才是这世界上 最真实，最宝贵…
And I think that that’s a very rare thing in this world.
最值得珍藏的东西
And I think it’s something to be valued.
我很高兴他们都找到 并彼此拥有了这份真爱
And I’m just really happy that my big sister’s found it.
呵，祝贺你了，克利斯
Uh, congratulations, Chris.
哇，真不可思议
Ah! That was amazing!
太棒了！
It was really great.
我们该回去了， 他们大概到处找我们呢
We should probably head back so they’re not lookin’ for us.
我一直以来都知道 我的第一次会在沙滩上
I always knew my first time would be on a beach.
第一次？
First time?
你是处♥女♥？ – 嗯…嗯
You were a virgin? – Mm-hmm.
哇…
Wow.
我们真的会很快乐的，吉里米
Jeremy, we’re gonna be so happy together.
我爱你
I love you.
什么？ – 我爱你！
I’m sorry? – I love you!
你挽救了我！ – 没什么啦
You totally saved me. – No.
是的 – 克莱尔，过来，过来！
Yes. – Claire, come on. Come here.
嗯！
Mm!
亲爱的，你讲的太棒了
Oh, baby, you were awesome.
不会啦 – 听着，棒极了
No. – Listen to me, awesome.
好吧
Okay.
啊，约翰，这… 是我的男朋友，沙克
Uh, John, this is… this is my boyfriend, Sack.
嘿，伙计 – 嗨，你好吗？
Hey, fella. – How you doing?
快去见见特拉夫妇吧
Listen, we’ve gotta go meet the Schreibers.
好的，很高兴认识你，谢谢！
Okay, was great to meet you. Thank you!
卟，你在这里！
Boom, I gotcha!
喔，太棒了！看到你真高兴！
Oh, great! Good to see you.
我到处找你呢， 我们要赶快离开这里
I’ve been looking all over for you. I gotta get outta here pronto,
五级警报！ – 不，不，再让我呆段时间
I’ve got a Stage Five clinger. – No no, I need more time.
你听仔细没？
Did you hear what I just said to you?
五级警报！处♥女♥！粘住不放！ 走吧，我去把车发动了
Stage 5? Virgin? Clinger? Let’s go, I’m gonna start the car.
我是说真的，快！
I’m serious, let’s go.
你不能体谅一下我的苦衷，她是处♥女♥
I don’t think that you’re appreciating the urgency here.
不仅是个处♥女♥， 她还对我毫无保留
Not only is she a virgin, she’s totally off the reservation.
我被这女人吓着了
I’m terrified of this broad.
找到你了！ – 嘿，格洛里亚！喔…
Here you are! – Hey! Gloria, wow!
真巧，说曹操曹操到
What a coincidence, I was just singing your praises.
这是约翰 瑞恩 – 噢，嗨！
This is John Ryan. – Oh, hi.
你好 – 我的家人和部分朋友…
Yeah. – So my family and a few friends,
都会去我家的海边别♥墅♥
we’re all going back to our little place on the shore and it would be
如果你们能去就太棒了！ – 真的？
so great if you guys came. – Really?
听起来好极了 – 我…
Sounds sort of wonderful. – I am…
确实不错，这个…这个… 听起来是个好主意
well it does, it sounds… it sounds very nice.
但…我…感到我很荣幸…
But-but and I’m flattered that you would
能被你邀请参加这个家庭派对， 格洛里亚，真感谢
even think of me to include me in something like that, Gloria. Thank you.
但…我…我真不知怎么开口告诉你， 真不巧…
It kills me however to have to tell you I’m sorry, I just… timing’s no good.
我没办法去 – 为什么不能啊？
I won’t be able to make it. – Why?
会很有趣的！ – 是啊，会很有趣的！
It’s gonna be so much fun! – It’s gonna be so much fun!
当然，我相信…参加的人 都会玩得很愉快的
I’m sure it will be fun for the… for the people that are going.
不幸的是，我…我可能没法去， 我…嗯…
I-I unfortunately can’t go. I-I don’t have, um…
我只有这件晚礼服穿
I only have this monkey suit.
没别的衣服了 – 不，我家什么都有
I don’t have any clothes. – No, we have everything you need.
那就没问题了！说定了 – 不，不，问题没那么简单
Problem solved. Problem solved! – The problem’s not solved.
问题还没解决！ – 算上我俩
The problem’s not solved. – Deal us in.
喔，太好了，也！ 我马上去跟爸爸说！啊哈！
Oh, cool cool cool! I’m gonna run and find my dad! Ah!
嘿，别和你的爹地说！ 别和他说！别…
Hey, don’t ask your dad! Don’t ask your dad! Don’t…
游戏刚刚开始，我们得继续！ – 现在好了，为什么…你不阻止她？
The train’s going. We gotta get on. – That’s true. Why don’t… why don’t you
把我往狮子口里送？ – 什么？
just feed me to the lions? – What?
看我溺水时帮忙在头上踩我一脚？（落井下石） – 什么？
Step on my head when I’m drowning. – What?
真是个兄弟该做的！ 你到底什么意思？想怎么样？
What a great friend. What do you mean, what?
约翰，你这样做可是 完全违反了规则
John, this is completely against the rules.
参加完婚礼和招待会，就结束了
You have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. Period.
没有加时，没有！ – 喔？没有加时？
There’s no overtime. No! – Oh, no overtime?
那三年前张家的婚礼呢？
What about the Chang wedding three years ago?
喔，胡说 – 是吗？以为我忘了？
Oh, that’s bullshit. – Yeah, thought I forgot about that.
凌晨两点你逼我开了50英里路 到离休所…
2:00 A.M., you dragged me 50 miles to watch you and some chick
去看你和某个小妞和她外婆打麻将？
play mah-jong with her grandmother at a retirement home.
没错，但这根本就是两码事
Yeah, completely different situation.
什么？ – 看看你现在做了什么
How? – What do you mean how?
她是在一个传统的家庭长大的
She was a very very family-oriented girl.
她很听她外婆的话， 很有家教
And she was very into her grandmother. They’re very family-oriented.
算了吧！ – 她是和我上♥床♥的第一个亚裔女孩！
Give me a break! – That was my first Asian!
你不要闹了 – 你才不要闹了
You better lock it up. – You better lock it up.
不，你不要闹了，不要闹了 – 你才不要闹了
No, you lock it up. Lock it up. – You lock it up. Lock it up.
求你了，这对我很重要，求你了！
Please! It would mean so much to me, please!
瞧瞧他看我的眼神…
Look at the way he’s looking at me.
他一点都不喜欢我， 他可是财政部长
I can tell he doesn’t like me, John. He’s the Secretary of the Treasury.
还有啊，说实话， 我有偷税行为
And to be honest with you, my taxes aren’t exactly in line.
噢，少来了，你想太多了
Oh, come on, you’re being paranoid.
他很讨厌我跳舞时的放荡
He’s threatened by the way I dance.
该死！ 早知道就不都把招数使出来了！
Damn it! Why’d I have to go showin’ off like that?
现在他一定注意到我了，真蠢！
Now I’m all over his radar. Stupid!
就你跳舞那样儿？
You’re not that good a dancer.
噢，别逗了！
Oh, please!
你我都知道我跳得有多好
You and I both know I’m a phenomenal dancer.
我知道你就是嘴巴上说说， 气气我而已
Now I know you’re lying through your teeth!
不管你做什么， 我都不会和你一起继续这个游戏的
You’ll do anything to get me to go on this thing,
要知道…我得进虎穴
even if I have to walk right into the lion’s den.
格洛里亚，别闹了！
Gloria, come on!
撒娇是没有用的！
You know I’m not gonna give in to this kind of behavior.
她就像个在玩具店里的小孩子， 哪里有精力陪她
She’s like a kid at Toys R Us. I can’t be around it.
噢，放下你的臭架子， 别动不动就品头论足
Oh, get off your high horse. Stop judging people.
难道你不是么，还说我如何如何
You take off the white wig, and you stop judging me.
她是个疯子，我水深火热
I don’t want to be around someone who’s a nut job.
我需要更多和她独处的机会 – 不管你是否要与克莱尔…
I need some alone time with her. – If you want to hang out with Claire,
他的男朋友混在一起 随你便，我不参与
the boyfriend and Cybill, by all means. I’m not going.
直说吧，就一句话：你必须去
Let me lay it out for you in simple chapter and verse: You’re going.
话说白了，我会向个小孩子一样 拖着你的手的…
Let me break it down for you so you understand: I’ll hold your hand like
我才不去呢 – 会的，你会的
a small child. I’m not going. – Yes, you are.
你要想去就去，我…不！不， 我…不会去的
You can go if you want. I’m… no, I’m not. No, I’m not.
你会第一次感受没有我搭档的苦恼的！
You’re gonna be a team player for once in your life.
我爸爸同意了！ – 好啊, 真是好消息，巴巴 格努斯
He’d love you to come. – Yes! Yes! Baba ganoush!
我到底在做什么？ – 巴巴 格努斯！
What do I do? – Baba ganou!
好啦，到家真好
Okay okay. Home sweet home.
你怎么样 – 蛮去
You okay? – Yeah.
过来，这里来
Come here, come here.
你还好吧？ 这个周末我需要你全力以赴协助我
Are you okay? Because I’m gonna need 100%/% of Jeremy this weekend
可你看起来忧心忡忡
and you’re looking a little weird.
她把我带到船舱里又玩弄了45分钟
She took me below deck for 45 minutes. I don’t have
我可没那么多精力任她折腾！ – 先生们，没什么问题吧？