婚礼傲客 Wedding Crashers（2005）

Her boyfriend just died.
你在葬礼上遇到她的？！ – 是啊
You met her at a funeral? – Yeah.
是啊，那小子在玩 滑翔伞的时候死的
The dude died in a hang-gliding accident.
白♥痴♥吧
What an idiot!
啊…我在滑翔..
”Oh, l’m hang gliding!
亲爱的，拍张照…我死了
Honey, take a good picture– l’m dead!”
简直一个神经病
What a freak!
你在葬礼上遇到她的?!
You met her at a funeral.
是啊，婚礼有时候我还是去的
Yeah, l’ll throw in a wedding every now and then,
不过葬礼实在是太疯狂了
but funerals are insane!
小妞们更加饥渴 都不合乎常理
The chicks are so horny, it’s not even fair.
简直就像用炸♥药♥在钓鱼一样刺♥激♥
lt’s like fishing with dynamite.
饥渴? – 是啊, 疯狂的饥渴
Horny? – Yeah, crazy horny.
我只是– 在葬礼上?!
l just– at a funeral?!
悲伤是自然界
Grief is nature’s
最有效力的春♥药♥
most powerful aphrodisiac.
嗯 – 好好看看
Huh. – Look it up.
我可不知道那个 – 这是我体会到的
l didn’t know that. – That’s what l’ve learned.
妈，肉卷，操
Ma, the meatloaf! Fuck!
星期六，星期六有个葬礼
Saturday– l got one Saturday.
你跟我一起去吧
You’re coming with!
切斯, 我, 我很抱歉 我不是–
Chaz, l’m– l’m sorry, l don’t–
我不是评判你 因为我认为你是个创新者 但是…
l’m not judging you, ’cause l think you’re an innovator, but…
我可没办法出席那种场合
there’s no way l’m ready for that.
栽种有时
A time to plant,
拔出所栽种的，也有时
and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
杀戮有时，医治有时
A time to kill and a time to heal;
拆毁有时, 建造有时
A time to break down and a time to build up;
哭有时
A time to weep
笑有时
and a time to laugh;
抛掷石头有时– – 真蠢
A time to cast away stones– – So senseless.
真该死 罗杰
Damn you, Roger.
罗杰!
Roger!
噢!
Oh!
该死的 罗杰!
Damn you, Roger!
该死的
Damn it! Damn you!
我很痛苦
l’m in pain.
我会尽量跟痛苦斗争 尽量…
l’ll try to fight it. Try to fight it.
我不知你们 但是我很痛苦
l don’t know about you people, but l’m in pain.
我知道世人
l know that there is no good in them
莫强如终身喜乐行善…
for man to rejoice and to do good in his life…
因为世人遭遇的
for that which befalleth
兽也遭遇
the sons of men, befalleth beasts.
所遭遇的都是一样
Even one thing befalleth,
这个怎样死 那个也怎样死
as the one dieth, so dieth the other.
气息都是一样
Yea, they all have one breath,
人不能强于兽
so that a man hath no preeminence above the beast.
每个人都认为他懂得爱
While each man thinks he knows love,
众所周知 爱是神秘的
love, we have learned, is a mystery.
这使得今天
That’s what makes today
非常特别
so special.
我们将见证两个人终成眷属
We witness two people choosing to marry
他们相互深爱
ones they truly love.
嗨!
Whoa whoa, hey!
嗨嗨!
Hey hey!
他是我的伴郎
He’s the best man.
是的
Yeah.
谢谢
Thank you.
简直不敢相信
l don’t believe this.
终于盼来你了
Hat in hand.
对不起我迟到了
l’m sorry l’m late.
很高兴你能来
l’m glad you’re here.
上次叫你贱白鬼真对不起
And-and l’m sorry l called you white trash.
我并不是– – 约翰，道歉接受了
l didn’t– – John, apology accepted.
对不起叫你乡巴佬
And l’m sorry l called you a hillbilly,
我都不知道那是什么意思
l don’t even know what that meant.
约翰，打住，没事了
John, it’s okay.
你让我现在先结婚吧
Do you mind if l get married now?
继续吧
No, go ahead.
嗨,托德
Hi, Todd.
尽管我们有机会选择 自己的另一半…
Although we may choose whom we marry,
我们并不总是选择…
we don’t always choose… – Psst.
克莱尔，我不是到这儿搔扰你的
Claire, l’m not here to bother you,
我只是来做伴郎，你不用担心
l just came to be his best man. Don’t worry about me.
就假装我不存在好了
Pretend l’m not here.
知道了
Okay.
我不是个疯子
l’m not a nut.
顺便说下, 你今天很漂亮
You look really pretty, by the way.
我就说这些
That’s all l’m gonna say.
我无法停止想你
l can’t stop thinking about you.
我脑子只全是你 我也不知道该怎么做
lt’s all l think about and l don’t know what to do.
咳 – 对不起
Ahem. – l’m sorry.
那就是今天如此特别的原因…
That’s what makes today so special…
天哪,我想你
God, l miss you.
好了,抱歉, 对不起
Okay, excuse me, l’m sorry.
克莱尔，等一下 克莱尔，克莱尔，
Claire, hold on a second. Claire, Claire!
克莱尔，你就不能等一下吗？
Claire, will you wait just a second?
我只想要一分钟
All l wanted was a second alone
把事情解释清楚
so l could try to explain things.
我从来没有那机会
But l’ve never gotten that chance.
也许是我活该
Maybe l don’t deserve it.
我开始了
So here goes.
有很长一段时间了
For longer than l care to remember,
我的业余爱好就是混入婚礼
my business has been crashing weddings.
我混入婚礼泡女孩子
l crashed weddings to meet girls.
一直很顺利
Business was good.
我泡过很多女孩
l met a lot of girls.
这样很幼稚、很无知–
And it was childish, it was juvenile–
也很可悲
And pathetic.
是啊,也许这是
Yeah, that’s probably
最好的形容词
the best word to describe it.
但你也知道吗？这也让我遇见了你
But you know what? lt also led me to you.
所以我也不会100%地后悔
So it’s hard for me to completely regret it.
上次你在你家见到的那个人
And that person that you met back at your folks’ place–
确实是真正的我
that was really me.
也许不是我的真名以及我真的工作
Maybe not my name–
我真名是约翰·贝克伍德
l’m John Beckwith by the way– or my job,
但是我们所感受的那些感觉
but the feelings we felt
那些玩笑和傻笑
the jokes, the stupid laughs–
那些可都是千真万确的我
that was all me.
我已经改过自新了 我领悟到一些东西
l’ve changed. l’ve realized something.
我之前混入了一场葬礼
l crashed a funeral earlier, and l–
哦,天哪
Oh, Jesus.
那不是我的主意
lt wasn’t my idea.
我只是被拖下水的
l was basically dragged to it.
我跟切斯去的 你没跟我说他是完完全全疯了的一个人
l went with Chaz, who you forgot to tell me is totally insane.
不过他也可能是个天才
He also might be a genius
因为那的确行的通 他还小挣了点
because it actually does work. He’s cleaning up.
约翰 – 对不起, 对不起, 对不起
John. – l’m sorry. l’m sorry, l’m sorry.
我岔开去了
That’s neither here nor there.
我看见那个寡妇 她完全崩溃了
And l see this widow and she’s a wreck.
她刚刚失去自己世上 最爱的人
She’s just lost the person she loves the most in this world.
我意识到
And l realized
我们都会 失去自己所爱的人
we’re all gonna lose the people we love.
现实就那么残酷
That’s the way it is.
但不会是我
But not me,
不会是现在
not right now.
因为我最爱的人就在我眼前
Because the person l love the most is standing right here,
我还没有准备好失去你
and l’m not ready to lose you yet.
克莱尔，我不是站在这里向你求婚
Claire, l’m not standing here asking you to marry me.
只是求你…