婚礼傲客 Wedding Crashers（2005）

that there’s a difference
激♥情♥跟爱的区别,你明白吗?
between infatuation and love, you know?
很明显,你对我很有感觉
Obviously, you’re gonna have strong feelings for me
完全是因为你的第一次给了我
because you lost your virginity to me,
但那并不意味着– – 哦,我早已不是处♥女♥了
but that doesn’t mean– – Oh, l wasn’t a virgin.
什么? – 我早已不是处♥女♥了
What? – l wasn’t a virgin.
在很早以前就不是了
Far from it.
我只是觉得男人 喜欢听这些话
l just thought that that’s what guys wanted to hear.
不会吧
Come on.
吉里米!
Jeremy!
哇!
Wow!
你好,孩子
Hello, son.
你还好吗？ – 对不起，神父, 现在真不是时候
You okay? – Not now, Father, please.
毫无冒犯之意
No offense to you,
但我认为我们没什么共同语言
l think we might be on different wavelengths.
对我说教只是浪费时间
l think you’d just be spinning your wheels with me,
但是呢, 小喝两口还是不错的
but, uh, have a little of the sacrament here.
没人喜欢独自喝酒 我帮你把酒倒上
No one likes to drink alone. We’ll set you up.
酒来了, 你拿着杯子 够了就拿走
There you go, get your hands on it. Take it while it’s hot.
够了就拿走 我会把杯子倒满的,好咯
Take it while it’s hot. l’m gonna pour till it’s on the tray. Here it is.
我能问您一个问题吗，神父？
你曾有过性渴望吗？
我肯定你曾经有过这样的经历了 我现在就是你曾经的那样
你是不对的吗？ 那不是因为你不被允许和其它人睡觉
是吗？
那有时变的很难是吗？
你曾经对自己施压，或者
没有
所有事情都能有用吗？ 你能把他们都搞定吗？
是呀，当然了
那，你做些什么呢？ 你该祈祷
是呀，我也祈祷了 你知道我什么意思吗？
我的意思是, 我相信 她是个处♥女♥
l mean, l believed that she was a virgin.
被这样欺骗真是很受伤
lt hurts to be lied to like that.
那种感觉真是太糟糕了
lt’s a horrible feeling to feel that way.
但是,我呢, 你知道 也是准备占些便宜的
But l, you know, was looking to take advantage of something, too.
那么,我是否真的应该感觉那么糟糕?
So could l really feel that bad?
我感觉我已经不是以前的我了 你明白我的意思吗? 就是都扯平了
lt’s not like l was who l was. You know what l’m saying? So, fair play.
让我们都坦诚些,好吗?
And let’s be honest with each other here, okay?
让我们摊开来说 她是有点疯狂
Let’s put all the cards on the table. She’s fit for a straitjacket.
这个周末 这个小妞身上的三个”洞”都被我♥干♥了
This broad’s fucked three ways towards the weekend.
你知道吗? 我很喜欢这样! 因为这让我性奋!
And you wanna know what? l dig it! lt turns me on!
对! 这让我性奋!
Yeah! lt turns me on!
你想知道我是个什么样的抱怨者吗,神父?
Because you wanna know what the kicker is, Father?
也许我是他妈的有些疯狂!
Maybe l’m a little fucking crazy!
没错!没准吉里米是个疯子
That’s right! Maybe Jeremy’s a little nuts.
也许你会感觉我有点傻
Maybe there’s something about me that l’m a little cuckoo.
我知道这有点令人惊讶 我知道这不是表面上看起来那样
l know it’s a surprise. l know it’s not on the surface.
我的意思是,在我小的时候 我有个想象中的朋友,他的名字叫希罗
l mean, l had an imaginary friend when l was a kid. His name was Shilo!
我们过去天天玩跳棋
We used to play checkers with each other every day,
他非常好心,因为他总是让我赢
and bless his heart, Shilo’d always let me win!
但那不正常 感觉有些古怪
And that ain’t normal! There’s something odd in that,
但或者就因为那样你才会有那样的感觉
but maybe that’s what it takes to make you feel
就像你跟某人能相互沟通 我不是很理解这个!
like you’re connected with somebody. l don’t know!
但是那个红发美女开始疯狂的时候
But l know when that redhead starts getting kooky
我的内心也开始涌动!
that something about me feels alive inside!
我跟你倾诉了心中的事情 你真是生活中的启明星啊
l’m diggin’ talkin’ with ya. You’re a really enlightened cat
而且我很喜欢你这点 我想你是个与众不同的人
and l like that about ya. l think you’re a special special man.
好吧,来真的了
Okay, come in for the real thing.
嗯? 嗯? – 到这儿,来点真的
Mmm? Mmm? – Get in here for the real thing.
我爱你 你是个可爱的人
l love ya. You’re a sweet man.
哦,我的上帝
Oh, dear God.
你不能和他结婚
You can’t marry this guy.
为什么?
Why?
因为我爱上你了
Because l’ve fallen for you.
哦,好事传千里啊
Oh, good news travels fast.
失陪了
Excuse me.
抱歉,谢谢 谢谢
Sorry, thanks. Thanks.
奇巴斯特, 说吧
Trapster, talk to me.
不, 该死
No shit.
你是否也许也有这种感觉?
And do you maybe feel the same way?
也许
Maybe.
也许, 这就是我需要知道的
Maybe. That’s all l needed to know.
但是这太离谱了 因为我根本不知道–
But this is crazy, because l don’t know any–
为什么? – 我根本就不了解你!
Why? – l don’t know anything about you!
你什么意思呢？ – 你在新罕布♥什♥尔州做投资
What do you mean? – You do investments in New Hampshire
而且你有个疯狂的兄弟–
and you have a crazy brother–
实际上,我需要跟你谈谈那个 没什么大不了的
Well, actually, l need to talk to you about that. lt’s not a big deal,
或许你先坐回到秋千上吧
but maybe you want to sit back on the swing.
快跑!
Run!
约翰! 她想杀我!
Johnny! She’s trying to kill me!
奶奶! – 哇 哇!
Grandma! – Whoa whoa!
把她手里的枪拿走! – 把枪放下!
Get the gun from her! – Put the gun down!
母亲,停手! – 这可是个现实的世界啊,女士!
Mother, stop! – This is the real world, lady!
你不能一冲动就随便开枪打人!
You can’t just go shooting people on a whim!
你干了什么? – 我们的谈话可是保密的啊!
What did you do? – l told you that in confidence!
这可是忏悔啊!(神父不能透露忏悔内容) – 你们在说什么呢?
That was a confession! – What are you talking about?
还是你说吧，约翰?
Why don’t you tell her, John?
我不知道发生了什么事 – 你不知道?
l don’t know what’s going on. – You don’t know?
我也想搞清楚 – 我不–
l’m playing catch up, too. – l don’t–
沙克, 看你干了些什么?! – 记起来了吗?
Sack, what are you doing?! – Remembering yet?
你记起来了吗? – 你还好吗?
You remember yet? – Are you okay?
克莱尔, 他们的身份都是编造的
They’re not who they say they are, Claire.
他们的名字都是假的 – 什么?!
Those aren’t even their real names. – What?!
他所说的都是谎言
No, everything he told you is a lie.
我不知道你在说什么
l-l don’t understand what you’re saying.
克莱尔，他们混入婚礼
Claire, they crash weddings.
他们混入婚礼 跟女宾们上♥床♥
They crash weddings so that they can sleep with girls.
他们说的都是胡编乱造的
Everything that they have told us is a complete fabrication.
你在开玩笑吧
No, you’re joking.
这一切都是谎言 你♥他♥妈♥的还敢站起来
All of it is a lie. Don’t you fucking get up.
沙克, 你给我先住手?! – 好吧, 好吧
Sack, will you just stop?! – Okay okay.
他说的是真的吗？
ls that true?
不,其实,不全部…
No, well, no, it’s– not entirely.
这是个是或不是的问题？
No, it’s a yes or no question.
我懂，但这个问题很复杂
l know, but it’s complicated.
是 还是 不是？
Yes or no?
是 还是 不是？
Yes or no?
是的…
Yes…
都是过去不光彩的事情 – 哦
with shades of grey. – Oh.
我不是十全十美的
l’m not perfect,
不过，你也不是的嘛
but who are we kidding? Neither are you.
你知道吗? 我很喜欢这样!
And you wanna know what? l dig it!
吉里米曾经要诱♥奸♥我
Jeremy tried to seduce me!
不会吧?
You did?
我要拿回我的画
l want my painting back.
这画是你给我的礼物，托德
The painting was a gift, Todd.
我要带着走
l’m taking it with me.
孩子，你真另人失望啊
You had me going, son.
我原以为你有些很特别的地方
l thought it was something special.
下班船十分钟后就开了
There’s a ferry leaving in 10 minutes.
你们最好马上离开
l suggest you be on it.
走吧，我们进屋去
Come on, let’s go.
我想要你
l want you.
我爱你
l love you.
克莱尔，他玩弄了你的感情
He made a fool out of you, Claire.
我们走吧
Come on, let’s go.
亲爱的
Sweetheart.
现在把那些内♥裤♥捆成一个小球
Now bunch those panties up into a little ball.
然后放在嘴里
Put that little ball right in your mouth.
哦, 真爽 – 挂掉电♥话♥
Oh, that’s good. – Hang up the phone.
好的，我一定会再打给你的
Okay, and l will definitely call you back later then.
快点, 挂了它 – 我会尽快联♥系♥你的, 谢谢, 拉丽
Come on, wrap it up. – Talk to you soon. Thank you, Larry.
怎么了,你♥他♥妈♥的连门都不敲了?
What the fuck? You can’t knock anymore?
我有办法再接近她了 – 什么?
l know how l can get to her. – What?
我有办法再接近克莱尔了
l know how l can get to Claire.
约翰,你必须把她给忘了