半梦半醒的人生（2001）

This woman on TV’s telling me about how death is this dream time…
它存在与我们的生命之外
that exists outside of life.
我的意思是 我开始想我死了
I mean, I’m starting to think that I’m dead.
就让我告诉你我曾经做过的一个梦
I’m gonna tell you about a dream I once had.
我知道当有人说
I know that when someone says that,
在接下来的几分钟 你会感到很糟糕 那你可能就会那样
usually you’re in for a very boring next few minutes, and you might be.
但是,听起来似乎是那样 你又会做别的什么事呢,对吧?
But it sounds like– What else are you gonna do, right?
总之,我读了菲力浦.迪克的短文
Anyway, I read this essay by Philip K.. Dick.
什么,在梦里读的吗?
What, you read it in your dream?
不，不是的，在醒着的时候
No, no. I read it before the dream.
那是梦的导言
It was the preamble to the dream.
就是那本<員警說：「為我流淚吧！」>
It was about that book, Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said.
你知道那本书吗? 是的,是的。因为这本书,他得了奖?
– You know that one? – Yeah, yeah. He won an award for that one.
对就是那本他写得很快的那本书
Right. That’s the one he wrote really fast.
就像是从他身上流出来一样
It just, like, flowed right out of him.
他感觉他就像是一道渠之类的
He felt he was sort of channeling it or something.
但不管怎样 大概在书出版四年之后
But anyway, about four years after it was published,
他去参加一个聚会 遇到了这个女人
he was at this party and he met this woman…
她的名字和书中的名字是一样的
who had the same name as the woman character in the book.
她男朋友的名字也和书中的一样
And she had a boyfriend with the same name as the boyfriend character in the book.
她和警♥察♥局长有一腿
and she was having an affair with this guy, the chief of police.
警♥察♥局长的名字和书中的也一样
And he had the same name as the chief of police in his book.
所以,她就把人生的故事告诉了他
So she’s telling him all this stuff from her life,
她所说的一切正好也和书中一样
and everything she’s saying is right out of his book.
所以那着实让他感到兴奋 但他又能做些什么呢?
So that’s really freaking him out, but what can he do?
在那之后 他要去寄一封信
And shortly after that, he was going to mail a letter,
突然他看见有个危险的 可怕的家伙站在他的车旁
and he saw this kind of, um, dangerous, shady-looking guy standing by his car.
但他不像往常那样去避开他
But instead of avoiding him, which he said he usually would have done,
他径直向他走去 说,我能为你做点什么吗?
he walked right up to him and said, “Can I help you?”
那家伙就说 是的，我的车没油了
And the guy said, “Yeah. I ran out of gas.”
他拿出钱包给了那家伙一些钱 他从未这样做过
He pulls out his wallet and he hands him some money, which he says he never would have done.
然后他回了家 他想,等等
And then he gets home and he thinks, “Wait a second.
这个人不能到达加油站 他的车没油了
This guy can’t get to a gas station. He’s out of gas.”
所以他又回到他的车中 把那个家伙带到了加油站
So he gets back in his car. He finds the guy, takes him to the gas station.
当他从加油站里出来时
And as he’s pulling up to the gas station,
他意识到 嘿!这也是在我书中的情节
he realizes, ” Hey, this is in my book too.
就是这个加油站 这个家伙,一切都是一样的
This exact station. This exact guy. Everything. ”
所以整个情节令人毛骨悚然,对吗?
So this whole episode is kind of creepy, right?
他把这一切告诉了他的牧师
And he’s telling his priest about it,
描述他是如何写这本书的
describing how he wrote this book,
然后四年后这些事就发生在他身上
and four years later, all these things happened to him.
他把这一切告诉牧师时 牧师对他说 这就是〈使徒行传〉
And as he’s telling it to him, the priest says, “That’s the Book of Acts.
你正在描述着〈使徒行传〉
You’re describing the Book of Acts.”
他似乎从来都没有读过〈使徒行传〉
He’s like, “I’ve never read the Book of Acts.”
所以他回到家 读了〈使徒行传〉
So he goes home and reads the Book of Acts,
然后,你知道 很离奇
and it’s, like, you know, uncanny.
甚至书里面角色的姓名都和圣经里的一样
Even the characters’ names are the same as in the Bible.
然而〈使徒行传〉发生在西元五十年 而且是想像当中写出来的
And the Book of Acts takes place in 50 A.D., when it was written, supposedly.
所以菲力浦.迪克 又一个推测
So Philip K. Dick had this theory…
就是时间只是一种幻觉 我们都确实就在西元五十年
that time was an illusion and that we were all actually in 50 A.D.
他写这本书的原因是
And the reason that he had written this book…
是不知何故的突然的具刻点的穿越幻觉
was that he had somehow momentarily punctured through this illusion,
穿过时间的面纱
this veil of time.
他所看到的正是〈使徒行传〉里所发生的
And what he had seen was what was going on in the Book of Acts.
他真的走进了诺斯替教
And he was really into Gnosticism.
这种想法 造物主和魔鬼
and this idea that this demiurge, or demon,
创造了这种时间的幻觉,让我们忘却
had created this illusion of time to make us forget…
救世主就要回归
that Christ was about to return…
天国就要到了
and the kingdom of God was about to arrive…
那就是我们都在西元五十年 这里有人试图让我们忘却
and that we’re all in 50 A.D. and there’s someone trying to make us forget,
你知道 上帝已经临近
you know, that–you know, that God is imminent.
那就是时间 那就是所有的历史所在
And that’s what time is. That’s what all of history is,
这种持续的 你知道,白日梦或是分心的事
this kind of continuous, you know, daydream or distraction.
所以我理解它 就像是,是的,那是不可思议的
And so I read that, and I was like, “Well, that’s weird. ”
就在那天晚上我做了个梦
And then that night, I had a dream,
梦里有个人 应该是个通灵人
and there was this guy in the dream who was supposed to be a psychic.
但我也在怀疑 他可能不是通灵人
But I was skeptical. I was like, ” He’s not really a psychic.”
我只是自己在想
I was just thinking to myself.
突然 我开始飘了起来
And then suddenly, I start floating,
飘到了天花板上
Like levitating up to the ceiling.
好像我差不多穿过了屋顶
And as I almost go through the roof, I’m like,
通灵人先生,我相信你 你是个通灵人,请放下我吧
” Mr. Psychic, I believe you. You’re a psychic. Put me down, please.”
然后我飘落下来 当我的脚着地时
And I float down, and as my feet touch the ground,
通灵人又转向了 一个穿绿色衣服的女人
the psychic turns into this woman in a green dress.
这个女人就是格列高里夫人
And this woman is Lady Gregory.
格列高里夫人是叶慈的支持者 你知道是个爱尔兰人
Now, Lady Gregory was Yeats’ patron, this, you know, Irish person.
尽管我从未见过他的面容
And though I’d never seen her image,
但我敢确定她就是格列高里夫人
I was just sure that this was the face of Lady Gregory.
我们走到了一起 格列高里夫人对我说
So we’re walking along, and Lady Gregory turns to me and says,
让我告诉你万物的本性
” Let me explain to you the nature of the universe.
菲力浦 迪克的时间观是正确的 但是西元五十年是错误的
” Now, Philip K. Dick is right about time, but he’s wrong that it’s 50 A.D.
实际上只有一种瞬间 那就是现在
“Actually, there’s only one instant, and it’s right now.
它是永恒的
“And it’s eternity.
这是个上帝抛出了问题的瞬间
“And it’s an instant in which God is posing a question.
那个问题主要就是 你想要,你知道
“And that question is, basically, ‘Do you want to, you know,
成为永恒的人吗?
“‘be one with eternity?
你想上天堂吗?
” Do you want to be in heaven?’
而我们都会说,不用了,谢谢,还不需要
“And we’re all saying, ‘No, thank you. Not just yet.'”
所以是这个事实上的瞬间
And so time is actually just this constant saying no…
拒绝了上帝的邀请
to God’s invitation.
那就是时间的真谛 现在不是西元五十年,或是2001年,你知道?
That’s what time is. It’s no more 50 A.D. than it’s 2001, you know?
这里只有一种瞬间 那就是我们总是存在那个
There’s just this one instant, and that’s what we’re always in.
然后她又告诉我 事实上每个人的生命有种叙述
And then she tells me that actually this is the narrative of everyone’s life.
在不同的现象后面 只有一个故事
That behind the phenomenal difference, there is but one story,
那就是从否定到肯定的故事
and that’s the story of moving from the “no” to the “yes.”
生活的全部就是 不,谢谢,不,谢谢
All of life is, ” No, thank you. No, thank you.”
然而最后的结果都会是一样 是的,我投降
Then ultimately it’s, “Yes, I give in.
是的,我承认 是的,我信
Yes, I accept. Yes, I embrace.”
我的意思是 就是那样的旅程
I mean, that’s the journey.
每个人最终都会说, 是的,对吗?对
– Everyone gets to the “yes” in the end, right? – Right.
我继续走 突然我的狗跑向我来
So we continue walking, and my dog runs over to me.
我抚摸着它,我真的很高兴见到它 它已经死了许多年了
So I’m petting him. I’m really happy to see him. He’s been dead forbears.
我抚摸着它 然后我意识到
So I’m petting him and then I realize…
从它的胃吐出出来一种毛软物质
there’s this kind of gross oozing stuff coming out of his stomach.
我朝格列高里夫人看去 她在咳嗽
And I look over at Lady Gregory, and she sort of coughs.
她像在说 哦,请原谅
She’s like– “Oh, excuse me.”
她的下巴留下来了漏出的呕物 真难闻
And there’s vomit dribbling down her chin, and it smells really bad.
我想 等一下
And I think, “Wait a second.
那不仅是很难闻的呕物的臭味
“That’s not just the smell of vomit, which doesn’t smell very good.
那是死人呕物的味道
“That’s the smell of dead person vomit.
你知道 那就加倍的感到恶心
You know, it’s, like, doubly foul.”
然后我认识到我就在那里面 你知道,一块坟地
And then I realize I’m actually in, you know, the land of the dead.
我周围的人都已经死去
And everyone around me was dead.
我的狗已经死了超过十几年 格列高里夫人死得更早
My dog had been dead over ten years. Lady Gregory had been longer than that.
当我最终醒来 哦,那不是个梦
When I finally woke up, I was like, “Whoa. That wasn’t a dream.”
我是到了一个真实的地方,一块坟地
That was a visitation to this real place, the land of the dead.”
然后又发生了什么? 你是如何摆脱出来的?
– So what happened? How did you finally get out of it? – Oh, man.
哦,伙计 那只是一种改造生命的体验
It was just like one of those, like, life-altering experiences.
从那以后我再也 无法用同样的方式去看世界
I could never really look at the world the same way again after that.
是呀，但是最后你究竟是怎么走出梦境的？
Yeah, but how did you finally get out of the dream?
你瞧，这就是我面临的难题 我陷进去了
See, that’s my problem. I’m trapped.
我一直…我一直努力想着自己可以醒来 但是我始终还是在梦中
I keep– I keep thinking that I’m waking up, but I’m still in a dream.
这看上去是要永远的进行下去 我无法从中脱身
It seems like it’s going on forever. I can’t get out of it.
我想实实在在的醒来 如何才能真正的醒来？
I wanna wake up for real. How do you really wake up?
我不知道 我没这个本事
I don’t know. I’m not very good at that anymore.
但是,嗯 如果那就是你想的
But, um, if that抯 what you’re thinking,
我想，你可能应该….
I mean, you probably should.
如果你能醒来 你应该….
If you can wake up, you should…
因为某一天 你将不会醒来
because someday you won’t be able to.
所以,嗯 但这很容易
So just, um– But it’s easy.
仅仅是——仅仅是 醒来
Just–Just… wake up.