女招待（2007）

Dear lord, please protect our Jenna
千万别怀上不速之孕
from the hell of unwanted pregnancy.
我不想要孩子 我不想有麻烦
I don’t need no baby. I don’t want no trouble.
我只想做我的派
I just want to make pies.
我仅仅只想做派
That’s all I want to do, make pies.
我还以为你不跟你丈夫上♥床♥了呢
I thought you weren’t sleeping with your husband no more.
那晚他把她灌醉了
He got her drunk one night.
我真不该喝酒
I should never drink.
我一喝酒就干傻事
I do stupid things when I drink,
比如和我老公上♥床♥
like sleep with my husband.
噢 不
Oh, no!
开始显出一条粉线了 靠
Looks like a pink line is forming. Shit.
一条还是两条?
One line or two lines?
一条还是两条?
One line or two lines?
两条 控制线还有另外一条
Two lines! The control line and the other line,
那可恶的一条 那条确认线
the bad line, the “yes” line.
来让我看看
Let me see that now.
两条线 很明显的两条 那没错了
Two lines, two definite lines. There’s no mistaking them.
里面怎么回事
What’s going on in there?
我们有客人 我的女招待们都跑哪了?
We have customers! Where are my waitresses?
等一等 卡尔 吉娜不舒服
Hold your balls straight, cal. Jenna aren’t feeling well.
她怎么了
What’s wrong with her?
不关你的事 真八婆
It’s none of your business, you blowhard.
我没事 卡尔 我们马上出去
I’m fine, cal! We’ll be right out.
快点
Hurry up!
亲爱的 你没事吧?
Hon, you okay?
我脑中正在构思一种新的派
Shh. I’m inventing a new pie in my head.
明天的特别推荐派
Tomorrow’s blue plate special.
我称之为”我不要厄尔的宝宝派”
I’m calling it “I don’t want earl’s baby pie.”
我认为我们不能那样 写在价目表上 亲爱的
I don’t think we can write that on the menu board, hon.
那我就叫它”坏宝宝派”
Then I’ll just call it “bad baby pie.”
都有些什么聊 亲爱的?
What’s in it, honey?
乳蛋饼打底 浇上布里干酪 烟熏火腿为心
It’s a quiche of egg and brie cheese with a smoked ham center.
听着真不错 宝贝
Sounds good, baby.
这下我永远没法离开厄尔了
I am not never going to get away from earl now.
你要告诉他吗?
You going to tell him?
我不知道
I’m not sure.
如果我的计划成真了
If my plan comes true
那几个月后我就能成功摆脱他了
and I can make my big escape from him
也许他永远不用知道
in a couple months, maybe he never even has to know.
你肯定是他的孩子吗?
Are you sure it’s his child?
你知道我的一切 我从来不曾越轨
You know everything I do. I am not never cheated.
我永远不会那么做的
-Ah… -I’d never do that.
我真为你难过 吉娜
-Eh… -I feel sorry for you, Jenna.
我是说我为了找个好男人 愿意做任何事
I mean, I’d do anything
而贝基的丈夫是个老同志
to meet a man, and Becky’s husband is a senile fruitcake.
-道恩 -好吧 我抱歉 但他确实是
-Dawn! -Well, I’m sorry, it’s true.
但是你呢
But now here you are,
嫁给了这个英俊的家伙
married to this handsome guy.
他有一头漂亮的头发
Who’s got very good hair.
他有一头非常漂亮的头发
Who’s got very good hair.
又怀上了一个小女孩
And pregnant with a little girl.
你怎么知道是女孩
How do you know it’s a girl?
-我们不知道是不是女孩 -但我们都不愿意
-We don’t know it’s a girl. -But neither of us
和你易地而处 哪怕是一秒钟
would trade places with you for one second.
是不是 贝基?
Now would we, Becky?
对 我们不愿意 道恩
No, we wouldn’t, dawn.
对 我们不会愿意的
No, we wouldn’t.
但是 但愿我这辈子能有机会
Except, just once in my life,
做出一个有吉娜做的一半好吃派来
I’d like to be able to make a pie half as good
-对 我也是 -噢 拜托
-Yeah, me, too. -Oh, come on.
就算我做的一手好派
So what if I can make a decent pie?
-谁又会在乎呢? -看这里 吉娜
-Who cares? -Look at this, Jenna.
你可以清楚的看到
As you can plainly see,
我的右乳♥房♥♥明显比左乳♥房♥♥来的高
my right boob is much higher than my left boob
而道恩的皮肤实在是苍白到了惨白
and dawn here has pasty, pasty skin.
我受困于与菲尔这废物的婚姻泥沼中
I’m stuck in a marriage to droolin’ Phil the invalid,
而道恩整日独自一人吃冷冻快餐
and dawn eats TV dinners alone
但我们还是不愿意成为你
but still, we wouldn’t rather be you.
我的皮肤确实苍白到了惨白
I do have pasty, pasty skin.
嗯 我知道你来了
Yeah, I know, you’re here.
明天见 亲爱的
See you tomorrow, honey.
好运
Good luck.
而且如果你真的告诉他了你…
And if you do tell him you’re…
嘿
Hey.
嘿
Hey.
你好 厄尔
Hiya there, earl.
我们刚才达成共识 你的头发十分漂亮
We all just agreed that your hair is super attractive.
为你叫好
Hooray for you.
我不在乎她是不是做派奇才
I don’t care if she is a pie genius.
我不想成为她
I wouldn’t trade places with her.
对 我也不想
No, me neither.
你看上去不高兴看到我
You don’t look happy to see me.
看到我你开心吗?
Are you happy to see me?
是的 看到你我很开心
Yeah, I’m happy to see you.
还给你带了一份今天的推荐派
Even brought you a piece
“踢鸟派”
of today’s special, “kick in the pants pie.”
肉桂奶油蛋饼
Cinnamon spice custard.
你没有亲我
You don’t give me a kiss.
好吧 亲我一下
Well, give me one.
这还差不多
There. That’s more like it.
你今天的工资呢?
Where’s that money
在我口袋里
Right here in my pocket.
好吧 那快上交
Well, now, hand it over.
不太多啊 是吗?
Not much here, is there?
今天生意不行 你知道的
Slow day, you know.
嗯 你们的生意好象一天不如一天了
Yeah, you been having more and more of those.
我真不清楚你还值不值得 在那儿工作了
I’m really not sure it’s worth you working there anymore.
我想也许我该让你留在家里
I think I might rather have you be at home
整天为我做派
making me pies all day long.
你没问我今天过的怎么样
You didn’t ask me how my day was.
你今天过的怎么样?
How was your day?
问的有点诚意好不好
Ask me like you care about it.
你今天过的怎么样 厄尔?
How was your day, earl?
嗯 詹森又来烦我了
Well, you know, Johnson’s on my case again,
关于抵押什么的
about the mortgages and everything.
但是银行的制度又不是我定的 我那么跟他说了
But I don’t make the bank policy, and I told him that,
但他根本不听
but he doesn’t listen.
“我恨老公派”
“I hate my husband pie.”
放入黑巧克力不加糖
You take bittersweet chocolate and don’t sweeten it.
覆以布丁 浇上焦糖
You make it into a pudding and drown it in caramel.
你没听我说
You’re not listening to me.
不 我在听
Yeah, I am.
我说什么了?
What I say?
你在抱怨詹森先生的事
You were bitching about Mr. Johnson.
那我究竟是怎么说的?
What were the exact words I said?
好吧 我可没法逐字重复
Well, I mean, I can’t repeat them verbatim…
你没在听我说
you don’t listen to me!
伤我感情
Hurts my feelings.
请说声对不起吧
Please just say you’re sorry
那样我才准你下车 你才能给我做饭
so I can let you out this car so you can make my dinner.
我很抱歉 厄尔 因为我没法逐字重复你的话
I’m sorry, earl, for not being able to repeat your words verbatim,
这事我本来应该要做到的
something I should be able to do.
只要我需要你做到时
Whenever I need it.
只要你需要我做到时
Whenever you need it.
这就好了
All right, then.
你今晚看上去真帅 小厄
You look handsome tonight, early.
谢谢夸奖 亲爱的
Thank you, honey.
你很久没有叫我小厄了
It’s been a long time since you called me early.
我喜欢你这么叫
I like it.
你今晚看上去也很漂亮