摇尾狗（1997）

在战斗中失踪后，直到现在仍没有消息…
remains missing behind enemy lines…
制片只是有前瞻的能力而已
It’s all thinking ahead.
这就是制片
That’s what producing is.
就象水管工一样
It’s like being a plumber.
你做对了，没人会理会你
Do your job right, nobody should notice.
若你自已做错了，才会有人留意
When you fuck up, everything gets full of shit.
…军队的榜样…
…symbol of the military team…
威廉·舒曼， 绰号♥“旧鞋”
Sergeant William Schumann, the “Old Shoe.”
想提名总统竞选诺♥贝♥尔♥和♥平♥奖♥吗？
Let’s line up the president for the Peace Prize.
嘿，我们的工作在选举日要结束了
Our job ends on election day.
当然， 但也可以啊
Come on.
只为了让事情更完美？
Just for the symmetry of the thing?
是的
That’s right.
如果基辛格能获得诺♥贝♥尔♥和♥平♥奖♥…
If Kissinger can win the Peace Prize…
我也可以凭赛马发达了！
I wouldn’t be surprised if I’d won the Preakness.
但他们并没有带来和平啊
But our guy did bring peace.
这里也没有战争
But there wasn’t a war.
这是更大的成就
All the greater accomplishment.
钱是哪里来的–
Where’s the money…
扔鞋子会有什么好处吗？
where’s the tie-in with throwing away shoes?
谁会给你买♥♥单？
Who pays you for that?
把鞋子扔出去，你想怎么样？
You throw away shoes. What are you gonna do?
想要双新的
Buy new ones.
我们新结交了一些有权势的朋友…
We have some powerful new friends…
…是国际鞋业协会的人
at the International Association of Shoe Manufacturers.
你们演艺界的人真是有一手
You guys sure get around.
费德.金是我的英雄，你先好吗？
Fad King is my hero. Want to go first?
好的
Sure.
好样的！
Attaboy.
我会超过你的，康尼
History, Connie.
那是破鞋子吗？
Those are ratty shoes.
那就是我们要扔掉的原因
That’s why we’re flinging them away.
你想试试吗？来吧
You want to try some? Go ahead.
好样的！
Attaboy.
再来
Do it again.
来吧，扔
Go ahead. Have a ball.
看我的
Watch this.
走吧，去告诉你的朋友
Go on, tell your friends.
这很有趣
This is interesting.
我刚才收到了这个，是刚被找到的
I have just been handed this. Something just discovered.
一张30年代录制的民谣唱片…
A 1930s recording, part of the folk song collection…
从国会图书馆里发现的
Of the Library of Congress…
我想这首写鞋子的歌♥非常适合今天的主题
and a fitting song, if I may say so, about Shoe.
舒曼是一位军人…
Schumann is the military soldier…
他被遗忘在敌方阵地里…
who’s been left behind enemy lines…
吉姆，能跟你谈谈吗？
Jim, can I get a word with you?
你对阿尔巴尼亚有什么评价吗？
Would you like to comment on Albania?
我想说的是…
There is one thing I’d like to say.
这只是针对抓了这个人的阿尔巴尼亚人说的
This is to the Albanians that have this man.
这是我由衷之言，做为你们中的一员…
I mean this from the bottom of my heart as one of your race.
我从不知道吉姆.伯鲁士是阿尔巴尼亚人
I didn’t know Jim Belushi was Albanian.
搜寻威廉·舒曼的行动仍在继续…
The search for Willie Schumann continues…
到那里后，给我找一个反射学家
As soon as we land, I want a reflexologist.
要男的还是女的？
Male or female?
白宫想要了解…
The White House wants to know about…
…国会荣誉勋章
the Congressional Medal of Honor.
那是什么？ – 准备授与舒曼的
What about it? – For Schumann.
等等， 我们现在有86%的支持率
Wait a minute. We got 86% in favor.
我们明天就把他带回来， 支持率会更高的
We bring him back tomorrow, charts don’t go down.
我不想教他们要应该怎么做…
I don’t want to tell them how to do their business…
但他们为什么不在选举后再去做？
but why don’t they do it after the election?
会更有意义， 那会给他们更多帮助
Makes more sense, and it’ll help them more.
打算什么时候把他带回来？
When are you bringing him back?
金，给他看看那作品
King, show him the thing.
我还没做完， – 给他看看吧
It’s not done yet. – Show it to him.
让我们谈谈扩大市场的事情吧， 告诉他
Talk about enlarging the market. Tell him.
这是…纪念碑的草稿图
Here it is. Artist’s rendering of the memorial.
纪念碑？
The memorial?
这是有关阿尔巴尼亚
That’s the memorial of the fallen.
之战的纪念碑
Of the Albanian campaign.
很可爱， -这可比可爱要好的多
Lovely. – It’s better than lovely.
这个家伙跟佛罗尼亚州的州长达成了协议–
This guy made a deal with Governor Kneehigh…
还有 里何 议员
Senator Leahy.
你应该找块花岗石把它雕刻出来
You should see the granite you have to put in this thing.
再挑个地方放置
Got a site picked out and everything.
最妙的是…
The beauty part is…
猜猜谁得到了市场推销权
guess who retains the merchandising rights.
给他看看这个钟？
Show him the clock?
将它做成一座钟
Got it as a clock.
很好看
Lovely.
我们出发吧， – 舒曼什么时候带回来？
Let’s go. – When’s Schumann coming back?
马上
Getting him right now.
我需要他脖子的尺寸
I need his neck size.
我想应该是17寸半
I think it’s 171l2.
我想可不太好
Thinking 171l2 is not good enough.
我是个艺术家，不是工匠
I’m an artist, not a factory worker.
他在敌人阵地里吃什么？
What did he eat behind enemy lines?
鸟，还有蛇
Birds, snakes.
胡说，他吃的是金属纸保存的芝士汉堡
Bullshit. He ate tiny cheeseburgers in tin foil.
…一拉带子，汉堡就会自动加热
Pull a string, they heat themselves.
我们称它是：“金”牌汉堡包
We call Burger King, Johnny Rockets.
我们还有“鞋”牌汉堡，和303酱汁…
We get the Shoe Burger with cheese and 303 sauce…
“在敌人后方，若其它什么时候，”
“Behind enemy lines or anytime.”
那是句口号♥
That’s the slogan.
我得到了阿尔巴尼亚小猫的版权…
I got the copyright on the Albanian kitten thing.
…我想给它取名为耐克，给它染一下毛发
I’m gonna call Nike, get Rodman to dye his hair.
我们还推出一款运动鞋，“飞豹”牌…
We’ll have a sneaker… “Air Leopard.”
…昨天晚上一场高中篮球比赛中…
…a high school basketball game last night…
…蒙哥马利.贝尔队和布莱尔.帕克队
between Montgomery Bell and Blair Park.
在比赛中，学生们…
Students, during the game…
表现出了极强的爱国主义情绪…
in spontaneous moment of sheer patriotism…
他们把上百双球鞋扔到了比赛场上
threw their tennis shoes on the court by the hundreds,
…为了“旧鞋”
just for the Old Shoe.
带他回来， 威廉·舒曼…
Bring him back. William Schumann…
没什么事情比这更妙了
There’s no business like it.
这种行为已经传遍了全国…
Demonstrations are springing up all over the country…
…作为美国人♥民♥体现爱国主义的方式
as Americans show their patriotism.
你应该叫他们把就职演说给我搞吧
You ought to get them to run that inaugural speech by me.
就职演说？ 我不知道
Inaugural speech? I don’t know.
白宫方面会妒忌的
The White House staff won’t give up that one.
得了，让我来好好的结束它吧
Come on. Let me close out the thing in style.
我感觉这是我自己的作品
I’ve come to feel it’s my thing.
你接到了一份工作，多数情况下， 它只是一份工作而已…
You take a job, and many times, it’s just a job…
上车吧…斯坦利，上车吧
Hell of a ride.
不是吗？
Isn’t it?
你真是自讨苦吃…
You take the bitter with the sweet…
或者苦中作乐
or the sweet with the bitter.
什么意思？
What’s that expression?
…经济还不错
…feeling good about the economy.
这就是我们投票给总统的原因，埃迪
That’s why we’re voting for the president, Ed.
你的看法呢？
What do you think?
鲍勃，我以前不是100%的理解，但现在我知道了
Bob, my mind wasn’t 100% made up, but now it is.
别在中途更换你的马
Don’t go changing horses in midstream.
绝对的
Absolutely.
现在谁需要什么惊喜？
Who needs surprises these days?
为了你能够依赖的经济…
For an economy you can rely on…
去他妈的业余演员
Fucking amateurs.
太遗憾了，还有两天，我们就要带他回来了
Pity of it is, two more days, and we bring it back home.
上天保佑
Knock wood.
谁会知道？
Who’s gonna know?