梵高：画语人生（2010）

他现在没有钱也没地方住 便向提奥求助
Now without an income or a home, he turned to Theo.
不用说
It goes without saying that
提奥 我得求你 不知你能不能…
I’m asking you, Theo, if you can do this…
…如果你有闲钱 时不时接济我一下
…To send me now and then what you can
但不要让你自己捉襟见肘
without going short yourself.
我会把我的画作寄给你 你可以随意选取
Let me send you my work and you take what you want from it.
…但我要坚持认为
…But I insist that I may consider
我从你那里拿到的钱是我挣得的
the money I would receive from you as money I’ve earned.
我希望能尽力帮你
I hope to do as much as I can to help you
直到你自己有收入
until you start earning yourself,
可我对你
but what I don’t like
这样离开爸妈感到很不高兴
is the way you’ve contrived to leave Pa and Ma.
你怎么会这么幼稚
What the devil made you so childish
这么不知羞耻 竟会做出这种事
and so shameless as to contrive in this way in this way
让他们的生活痛苦不堪 举步维艰
to make their life miserable and almost impossible?
你有义务不惜一切代价纠正你的错误
It’s your duty to set things straight at all costs.
一到海牙
Upon arrival in The Hague,
文森特就给自己建了个小画室
Vincent set himself up in a small studio
并且受雇画一组城市风貌
and got a commission for a series of cityscapes,
他写生了现代都市的方方面面
sketching all aspects of the modern metropolis.
文森特想要享受城市生活的各种乐趣
And Vincent, wanting to enjoy all the pleasures of city life,
几周后就住进了医院
soon found himself in hospital for a few weeks
接受梅毒治疗
undergoing treatment for syphilis.
后来…
And then…
我冬天时遇到一位孕妇
This winter I met a pregnant woman,
1882年5月7日
她被她腹中孩子的父亲抛弃了
who had been abandoned by the man whose child she was carrying.
一个孕妇
A pregnant woman
大冬天在街头徘徊
wandering the streets in winter,
想挣点饭钱 你能想象是什么样子
earning her bread, you can imagine how.
我留她做模特
I took that woman as a model
我们整个冬天都在作画
and I worked with her the whole of the winter.
她每天都更会摆姿势了
She’s learning to pose better every day,
这对我来说十分重要
that’s extremely important to me.
她名叫柯拉姬娜·玛丽娅·胡尼克
Her name was Clasina Maria Hoornik,
也就是希恩 她比文森特年长
better known as Sien, a woman older than Vincent.
她是个裁缝 靠卖♥♥淫增加收入
She was a seamstress who supplemented her income with prostitution.
我无力支付她一个模特应得的日薪
I couldn’t give her a model’s full daily wage.
不过我替她付了房♥租 而且直到目前
But all the same, I paid her rent and until now have been able,
谢天谢地 还能让她和她的孩子不至挨饿受冻
thank God, to preserve her and her child from hunger and cold
我把自己的食物与她分享
by sharing my own bread with her.
我遇到她时
When I met this woman,
她的病态让我注意到了她
she caught my eye because she looked so ill.
在我看来
To me,
她很美
she is beautiful.
我在她身上找到了我正需要的东西
And I find in her exactly what I need.
生活将她击垮 让她痛苦
Life has given her a drubbing, and sorrow,
而痛苦和不幸在她身上留下了痕迹
sorrow and adversity have left their mark.
我最好的一幅画就是以她为模特
She posed for my very best drawing,
哀伤
哀伤
哀伤
那就是《哀伤》
Sorrow.
我希望我的画作能打动别人
I want to make drawings that move some people.
《哀伤》只是个开始
Sorrow is a small beginning.
至少它包含了我自己的情感
At least it contains something straight from my own feelings.
如果我没有体会过哀伤 我是画不出来的
I couldn’t draw Sorrow if I didn’t feel it myself.
另一张画《树根》 画的是长在砂质土上的树根
This other one, Roots, is some tree roots in sandy ground.
我试着在风景画里倾注
I’ve tried to imbue the landscape
在人物画中表现出的那种情感
with the same sentiment as the figure.
在自然界中 比如树
In all of nature, trees for instance,
我能看到一种表现力和灵魂
I see expression and soul.
或许我对姬·沃斯的感情更为强烈
Well, it may be that I felt more passion for Kee Voss,
在某些方面
and that in certain respects
她比希恩更有魅力
she was more charming than Sien.
但绝不能说
It is certainly not so
因此我对希恩的爱就不那么真诚了
that the love for Sien is therefore less sincere.
比起之前文森特对姬的迷恋
This relationship generated even more disgust in the family
这段感情让他的家人更为反感
than Vincent’s earlier infatuation with Kee,
而他又一次
and once again
身无分为了
he was penniless.
老弟 这两周真令人不安
But, old chap, this has been an anxious fortnight.
我五月中旬给你写信时
When I wrote to you in the middle of May,
我只剩三…
all I had left was three,
买♥♥了面包之后 只剩三个半荷兰盾
three-and-a-half guilder after paying the baker.
6月1日就要交房♥租了
The rent’s due on 1st June,
而我一分钱都没有 真的
and I have nothing, literally
什么都没有
nothing.
我希望你能给我寄点钱来
I hope you’ll be able to send something.
但是提奥也为他感到丢脸
But Theo was just as scandalised
拒绝给他寄钱
and refused to send any extra money.
因为文森特不能再养家糊口了
With Vincent unable to support a family,
希恩决定生下孩子后继续卖♥♥淫
Sien decided to go back to prostitution once the baby was born.
对文森特来说 这太难以接受
For Vincent, this was all too much.
提奥啊
Oh, Theo,
我的这段感情匪夷所思
I have the most impossible and highly unsuitable
又不合时宜
love affairs from which,
并又一次让我蒙羞
as a rule, I emerge only with shame and disgrace.
但我还会时常想她的
But I shall continue to think of her often.
于是文森特离开了
And so Vincent left,
他深入荷兰的乡村
and went deep into rural Holland,
与农民同住并创作
to live and paint among the peasants.
我现在是在
This time I’m writing to
1883年10月3日
德伦特的偏远地区给你写信
you from the very back of beyond in Drenthe.
我找不到合适的词语
I see no way of describing the countryside
向你描述乡下的景色 因为
to you as it should be done, because
它是难以言状的美
words fail me.
我认为最好的人生
What I think is the best life
是常年能在户外
is a life made up of long years
与自然接触的生活
of being in touch with nature out of doors.
附上几张描绘夜晚的画作
Here are a couple of evening effects.
我还在修改那幅烧野草的画
I’m still working on that weed burner,
我画的已经比之前有进步了
whom I’ve caught better than before
从画法上来说 至少色调更好了
in a painted study as far as the tone is concerned,
这样能更好的表现平原的辽阔
so that it conveys more of the vastness of the plain
和烟尘的浓密
and the gathering dusk.
有一晚 雨后路上很泥泞 我发现了一个小屋
And one muddy evening after the rain I found the little hut,
它有种天然去雕饰的美丽
which was very beautiful in its natural setting.
我说我是农民画家 此话是当真的
When I say that I’m a peasant painter, that is really so,
今后你会越来越明白这点
and will become clearer to you in future.
但生活在如此与世隔绝的地方
But living in such an isolated place,
孤独感很快侵袭了他
loneliness soon bore down on him.
孤独注定会毁灭一个人
Alone, one is sure to perish.
只有有人作伴才能拯救一个人
Only with another can one be saved.
最有效的良药
The very best and most effective medicine
仍是爱和家庭
is still love and a home.
所以他回家了
So home he went,
他心情沮丧 身无分为
depressed and broke,
梵高故居 纽南
他夹着尾巴
and with his tail between his legs,
又搬回来跟他父母住
to live with his parents again.
不过 这样做却并非对症下药
However, the medicine wasn’t quite right.
一开始似乎陷入僵局
At first it seemed to be hopeless,
提奥德洛斯·梵高 文森特的父亲
但渐渐有所好转
but it has gradually got better,
特别是我们同意
particularly since we agreed
他这段时间可以跟我们住在这儿
that he will stay with us for the time being,
创作习作
to make studies here.
他想要我们收拾好外屋让他搬进去
He wanted the outhouse to be fitted up for him.
我们觉得那里不是很合适
We don’t think it’s a particularly suitable place,
但我们也给装♥修♥好了
but we’ve had it spruced up.
我们只需要把房♥子修好 保温防潮
Now, we shall just make it nice and warm and dry
应该就行了