梵高：画语人生（2010）

When Vincent returned to Holland,
他父亲同意资助他为成为牧师做准备
his father agreed to support his preparation to enter the ministry.
但他学习很吃力
But he struggled with his studies,
一年后终于放弃
and quit after a year.
他唯一的选择是去做传教士
The only option left to him was missionary work,
1879年1月
and in January 1879
他被指派去博里纳日做非神职传教士
he was appointed as a lay-preacher in the Borinage,
那是比利时的煤矿区
a coal-mining district in Belgium.
下井真是件令人不愉快的事
Going down in a mine is an unpleasant business,
1879年4月16日
人站在篮子或者说笼子里
in a kind of basket or cage
像往井里放水桶一样下去
like a bucket in a well,
在下面往上看
so that down there looking upward,
阳光看起来像是天上的星星似的
the daylight appears to be about as big as a star in the sky.
工人虽然习惯了
The workers get used to it, but
却还是挥不去
even so, they never shake off
那种无法克制的惊骇和恐惧感
an unconquerable feeling of horror and dread.
矿工悲惨的生活让文森特很是难受
Vincent was truly sickened by the plight of the miners’ lives.
对他来说照顾伤病员
Nursing the sick and injured
变得与传道同样重要
became just as important to him as preaching.
他送出了自己大部分的财产
He gave away most of his possessions
只希望能缓解他们的苦难
in the hope of alleviating their suffering.
但六个月的试用期结束
But once again, after his six month trial,
他又没能达到要求
he failed to make the grade.
博里纳日 文森特的小屋
文森特又失业了
Vincent was jobless once more.
他父亲对他的精神状态十分担忧
His father was so concerned about his state of mind
甚至考虑要把他送进精神病院
that he considered having him committed to a psychiatric hospital.
我
I, for one,
是个充满激♥情♥的男人
a man of passions,
1880年6月22日
能够也很容易做出一些蠢事
capable and liable to do rather foolish things
有时我会为此感到抱歉
for which I sometimes feel rather sorry.
比如说 你很清楚我有些不修边幅
For example, you know well that I’ve neglected my appearance.
我承认这让我很吃惊
I admit it’s rather shocking.
难道我该认为自己是个危险人物
Must one consider oneself a dangerous man
完全没有行为能力吗 我可不这么想
incapable of anything at all? I don’t think so.
财务问题 哈
Money troubles – ha!
贫穷似乎也有什么关系
And poverty have something to do with it.
现在说 这段时间里
Now you say, from such and such a time
我走了下坡路 我渐行渐远
you’ve been going downhill, you’ve faded away,
我一事无成
you’ve done nothing.
既然如此 我又能怎样
Now that being so, what’s to be done?
提奥很担心他哥哥
Theo worried about his brother,
但他从文森特画的矿工素描中看到了他的天赋
but recognising a talent in Vincent’s sketches of the miners,
便鼓励他更加认真地投身艺术
encouraged him to apply himself more seriously to art.
文森特是个有主见的人
Vincent, being his own man,
他对传统的艺术教育并不感兴趣
wasn’t really interested in following any traditional art education.
而是研习这本查尔斯·巴尔格的画家手册
Instead, he taught himself using this artist’s manual
自学成材
by Charles Bargue.
仔细研究并不断反复地做巴尔格的绘画练习
Careful study and constant repeated drawing of Bargue’s exercises
让我对人体素描有了更多理解
has given me more insight into figure drawing.
我学会了测量 分辨
I’ve learned to measure and to see
并试着画出轮廓什么的
and to attempt the broad outlines, etc,
这样一来 过去在我看来
so that what used to seem to me
完全不可能做到的 现在渐渐的
to be desperately impossible is now gradually
变得可能了
becoming possible.
素描是一切的根基
Drawing is the root of everything.
经历了多年茫然地追寻
After years in the wilderness,
文森特终于找到了他的天命
Vincent had finally found his vocation.
我打算不让自己闲下来
My plan is not to spare myself,
不去回避诸多困难和情绪
not to avoid a lot of difficulties and emotions.
我根本不在乎
It’s of a relative indifference to me
我能长命百岁还是英年早逝
whether I live a long or short time.
我只在乎 在这世上
I’m concerned with the world only
我有一种
in that I have a certain…
义务 也可以说是职责
obligation, or duty, if you like,
毕竟我都三十岁了
having walked the world for 30 years
要留下点什么纪念我的感恩之心
to leave a souvenir of gratitude
并以绘画的形式呈现出来
in the form of paintings or drawings.
梵高从始至终
Van Gogh was from the very beginning, and would remain,
都是人♥民♥的一员
a man of the people,
与农民 工人和流浪者产生共鸣
identifying with the peasants, the working class, with the outcasts.
从这之后 他的信中
And all his letters from now on
记录了他对艺术全身心地投入
document his single-minded immersion in art
他沉浸在自己和他所钦佩的艺术家的作品当中
his own and the work of those he most admired.
他特别钟情于法国画家让·弗朗西斯科·米勒
In particular the French artist Jean Francois Millet,
他以写实地画出农民生活而闻名
famous for his realistic scenes of peasant farmers’ lives.
让·弗朗西斯科·米勒 《一天的结束》
我觉得很有必要向米勒这样的大♥师♥学习人体素描
I feel the need to study figure drawing from masters like Millet.
他说”人要全心全意地投入艺术”
“In art, one must give one’s heart and soul,” he says.
让·弗朗西斯科·米勒 《拾穗者》
我已经画过五遍《收割者》了
I have already drawn The Sower five times,
我完全被这个人物吸引了
and I’m so completely absorbed in that figure,
让·弗朗西斯科·米勒
《收割者》
我还会再画的
I will take it up again.
　梵高
《收割者》
自然…
Nature…
一开始总是要反抗美术家
always begins by resisting the draughtsman.
就好像莎士比亚所写的《驯悍记》
It sometimes resembles what Shakespeare calls taming the shrew,
用不屈不挠征服对方
to conquer the opposition through perseverance,
不由分说
willy-nilly.
如果我能成功地在画作中注入温暖和情感
If I succeed in putting some warmth and love into the work,
定会受人赏识
then it will find friends.
虽然文森特能在画作中倾注情感
Although Vincent was able to put love into his work,
他在生活中却难觅红颜知己
it was proving difficult to find in his life.
他搬回家和他父母住
He was back home living with his parents.
他的表嫂 寡妇姬·沃斯来他家拜访
His widowed cousin Kee Voss came to visit the parsonage,
而文森特则疯狂地爱上了她
and Vincent fell madly in love with her.
从我爱上她的一刻起
From the beginning of this love
我就觉得除非我毫无保留地去爱
I’ve felt that unless I threw myself into it unreservedly,
全心地投入 永不变心
committing myself to it whole-heartedly, fully and forever, then
否则我就绝对没有丝毫机会
there would be absolutely no chance for me.
但是我的机会大不大对我来说要紧吗
But does it matter to me if the chance is smaller or larger?
我是说
I mean,
当我爱上一个人 还需要顾及这些吗
must I, can I, take that into accounts when I love?
不
No.
不去想得失
No thought to the winnings.
一个人爱了就是爱了
One loves because one loves.
但这份爱并未得到回应
But this love was not reciprocated,
而且让他的父母感到难堪
and it embarrassed his parents,
他们认为他给家族蒙羞了
who thought he was shaming the family.
他的舅舅不许文森特见姬
His uncle forbade Vincent from seeing Kee.
但他却给她写了很多信
But he bombarded her with letters,
后来…
but then…
我去了阿姆斯特丹
I went to Amsterdam.
他们说”你的固执令人厌恶”
There I was told “Your persistence is sickening.”
我把手放在烛火上 并说
I put my fingers in the flame of a lamp and said,
“你们不让我见她 我就不把手拿开”
“Let me see her for as long as I hold my hand in the flame.”
可他们吹灭了蜡烛 并说 你不能见她
But they blew out the lamp, and said, you shall not see her.
爱情…
To love…
真是件麻烦事
What a business.
文森特启程去了海牙
Vincent set out for The Hague,
那里是荷兰的艺术中心
the centre of the Dutch art world.
我跟爸爸爆发了激烈的争吵
I had a rather violent argument with Pa, and
爸爸的情绪很激动
feelings ran so high that
他说我最好离家
Pa said it would be better if I left home.
他的语气很坚决 所以我当天就离开了家
It was said so decisively that I actually left the same day.
我这辈子从来没这么生气过
I was angrier than I’ve ever remembered being in my whole life,
我跟爸爸坦言说
and I told Pa plainly that
我认为整个宗教体系十分讨厌
I found the whole system of that religion loathsome.
我再不要跟它有任何瓜葛
I want nothing more to do with it,
还要像抵御致命侵害那样防着它
and have to guard against it as against something fatal.