情人节（2010）

You boarded the plane wearing a suit but no wedding ring.
你穿西服坐飞机却没带婚戒
Serious, but not committed.
正襟危坐却犹豫不决
You let a stranger sleep on your shoulder.
你让一个陌生人倚肩而眠
Kindness, but also feels good to be needed.
友善 助人为乐让你感到愉快
The heart-shaped candy. Another giveaway.
这心形的糖果 另一个解密
Either you have a problem with sugar,
要么你讨厌糖
which, based on the mapkle syrup
不过你在煎饼放上了枫树糖
you put on your pancakes, l wouldn’t think so.
我觉得并非如此
Or you have a problem with candy in the shape of a heart.
那么就是你讨厌的是心形糖果
Which means you might have a problem with romance
这表明你可能在恋爱中遭遇不顺
and things pertaining to this day in particular.
直至今日仍阴霾不散
Not bad, soldier.
不错啊 大兵
Okay, Edison. Thank you very much.
好的 埃迪森 非常谢谢你
Now you all have seen how to properly
现在你们都知道
place your Valentines into our fabulous envelopes,
如何向你的爱人传递爱意了
go ahead. Great.
开始吧 很好
And while you are doing that quietly,
在你们安静完成此项的同时
a little history about Valentine’s day.
我们来了解一下情人节的历史
Valentine’s day was a massacre in
情人节是发生在
Chicago where they shot everybody
芝加哥的大屠♥杀♥ 他们杀了所有人
and put a curse on the Chicago cubs.
还在芝加哥年轻人身上降下诅咒
Thank you for sharing, Franklin, but this is a
感谢分享 富兰克林 不过
different Valentine’s day. Lose the hat.
这是不同的情人节 脱掉帽子
Okay, in ancient Rome,
好的 在古罗马时期
Emperor Claudius ll,
克劳狄斯二世国王
who was also known as Claudius the Cruel.
也被称为暴君克劳狄斯
Claudius the cruel banned all marriages
暴君克劳狄斯禁止结婚
because he wanted his soldiers to concentrate on war.
以便他的士兵能专注于战事
But there was a priest who was known as Valentine,
但一个叫瓦伦丁的牧师
who secretly married everyone,
他笃信真爱
anyway because he believed in love.
帮助大家秘密成婚
Claudius found out about the marriages,
克劳狄斯发现了这些婚事
and he threw Valentine in jail.
于是囚禁瓦伦丁
Girls, I’m watching you.
姑娘们 我看着你们呢
Thank you.
谢谢
Anyway, on February the 14th,
于是乎 在二月十四日
Valentine wrote a note to his beloved.
瓦伦丁给他的爱人写了封短♥信♥
“Farewell, from your Valentine.”
“永别了 你的瓦伦丁”
Let’s see. Are there any questions?
那么 有问题吗
Franklin, l can’t wait to hear this. Go ahead.
富兰克林 你想说什么 问吧
Miss Fitzpatrick, are you in love with anyone?
菲茨帕里克小姐 你和什么人在恋爱吗
I saw you on TV today.
我今天在电视上看到你了
Was it on? Yeah, that’s why I’m here.
已经播了 是啊 所以我来了
Yes! We’re famous!
太好了 我们出名了
Yay, we’re famous. Yes!
是啊 我们出名了 太好了
So you’re the owner, I take it.
那么你就是店长 明白了
Yeah, take… yes. My grandfather actually started it in Italy.
是啊 是啊 我祖父在意大利起家
Yeah, my dad brought it over, but now I got the shop.
我父亲把店搬到这里 现在商店归我打理
That’s great. It’s a family business.
太好了 是家族企业啊
Look, I hate to play this card, but I’m a doctor.
我也不想这样 但我是个医生
I have surgery in an hour and a haIf.
我一个半小时以后还有手术
Is there any way you could help me get around the line?
你能帮我插一下队吗
Say no more. Thank you.
没问题 谢谢
Could l get an order form, please, for the great doctor here?
请给我一个预定表为这优秀医生定花 好吗
Ah, I need two arrangements.
我要定两束
Something special, long-stemmed roses for each one of my ladies.
一些特别的 长柄玫瑰 给我的情人们
I need your discretion.
你不要弄错了对象
We have an understanding, right?
我们心照不宣 对吗
I understand. There’s a florist code.
我明白 这是行规
Great. Here’s the credit card.
好极了 给你信♥用♥卡♥
And here are the addresses.
这里是送花地址
These are the addresses for the ladies.
这是她们的地址
Harrison Copeland? Yes, you need, you want some ID?
哈里森·科普兰 没错 你需要身份确认吗
Nope. Should be good. Uh….
不 应该可以搞定
Okay, this Julia Fitzpatrick, that would be your girlfriend.
好的 这位茱莉亚·菲茨帕里克 是您的女友吧
Yes. And this Pamela Copeland,
是的 这位帕梅拉·科普兰
it’s the same last name as you. Would that be your wife?
与您的姓氏一样 是你您的妻子吗
Yes.
是的
I thought we had some sort of code, understanding.
我以为我们达成协议 互相理解了
The code is the code. I just wanna
协议是协议 我只是想
make sure that your understanding
确定您的理解
is the same understanding as my understanding. Understand?
和我的理解是一致的 明白吗
Yeah, can you run the card, please? Yep.
好的 你能处理卡片了吗 好的
Thank you. I have to get my wallet. I’ll be right back.
谢谢 我去拿钱包 一会就回来
Wish me luck. All us virgins are pulling for you. Whoo!
祝我好运 愿所有处♥女♥都为你神魂颠倒
If you need any help, text me.
如果要帮忙 短♥信♥我
Pushkin.
普希金
Good girl. Go play.
好孩子 去玩吧
Pushkin, no. Downstairs, Pushkin.
普希金 不要 下楼去 普希金
Oh, Grace when l saw your face
噢 格蕾丝 当我看见你的容颜
Oh, Grace
噢 格蕾丝
Hey, you. Come on. Mommy’s home for a minute.
嘿 宝贝 过来 妈咪回来一小会哦
Wha…? Come on, sweetie.
怎么 过来 甜心
Made my heart race like a high-speed chase
让我的心急速狂奔
Grace Grace?
格蕾丝啊 格蕾丝吗
Oh, my…! Alex!
我的天哪 阿历克斯
Holy, Mrs. Smart. Oh, my gosh! What are you doing here?
天哪 斯玛特夫人 我的上帝 你在这里干什么
I’m rehearsing!
我在排练
Naked? Naked! yes!
裸体排练? 裸体排练 是啊
It’s, eh, it’s experiment…
这是个实验
I’m doing an… owh… experimental show.
我在做一个 啊 实验性表演
It’s very, very avant-garde type of thing.
它非常非常前卫
And the… oh, shit! I mean, excuse me!
还有 噢 该死 我是说 抱歉
It’s okay. I’ve heard the word before. Not shit!
不要紧 我听过脏字 不是不是
God, look at the time. I gotta go.
天 都这么晚了 我得走了
Thank you for everything, though.
还是非常感谢这一切
I’m so sorry! It’s okay.
我很抱歉 没事的
Are you okay? Please! Do not come closer.
你还好吗 拜托 别再过来了
This does not look right, Alex.
真不正常 阿历克斯
Thanks for everything and… Oh, my god.
非常感谢 我的神啊
No, Pushkin, Pushkin, no! Pushkin, Pushkin.
别 普希金 不要 普希金 给我
That’s okay. You know what, I’m gonna just…
没事的 知道吗 我就这样
All right. Breathe. Oh, my goodness. All right.
好吧 放松 天哪 就这样
See you very soon, Mrs. Smart! Bye-bye.
再回 斯玛特夫人 再见
Alex, honey, cover your hoo-hoo!
阿历克斯 遮住你的小♥弟♥弟♥
Grace! Grace! What are you doing? What happened?
格蕾丝 你干什么 发生什么了
Mom. What, your mom?
是妈妈 啥 你妈妈?
Yeah, sure. My mom was at your house. Wha…?
我妈怎么会在你家呢 啥
My mom. What did you say? That l was rehearsing.
是我妈妈啊 你说什么了 说我在排练
Naked? Did she buy it?
裸着吗 她信了?
I think so. My fear made me very convincing.
我觉得是 我把恐惧表演的很逼真
I wrote you a song.
我为你写了首歌♥
If you do that again, Vladimir
如果你再敢这么干 弗拉基米尔
I will have no choice but to get down off my horse and punish you.
老娘就别无选择只能下马来惩罚你了
Hello? Who wants a Valentine?
谁需要情人啊
I am wearing my thigh-high black leather boots,
我穿着高筒黑皮靴
carrying my riding crop.
拿着皮鞭
Now pull down your pants and bend over.
现在脱掉裤子 弯下腰
I think this floor has the most Valentines.
我觉得这一层有很多有情人
What a sweet little pink ass you have.
多么可爱的粉色小屁屁啊
And l will beat it with my crop,
然后我用皮鞭狠狠抽你
until you submit to me, you filthy peasant.
直到你跪地求饶 你这肮脏的乡巴佬
I will beat it, and beat it, and beat it, and beat it.
我会一直抽啊 抽啊 抽啊 抽啊
Thank you for calling Naughty Nymphos.
感谢致电”不良少女”专线
The charge will appear on your
计费在您的信♥用♥卡♥账单
credit card as vague entertainment.
上将显示为不明娱乐服务
Hi there!
你好啊
Hi. Well, if it isn’t the gymnast.
嘿 这不是体操美女嘛
Well, yes.
没错
To paraphrase some poet,
借用诗里的话