假期历险记

Now, guys, you just have to speak their lingo.
好了 我要问他前面有没有警♥察♥
All right, I’m gonna ask him if there’s any police up ahead.
呼叫黄色小鸭
Breaker 1-9 to rubber ducky.
你侦测到前方有熊吗 完毕
You got any smokey the bears in your kitchen? Over.
接下来20公里都畅行无阻
You’re clean and green for the next 20 klicks.
-他回答了 -没错
-He replied! -I know!
-那是什么意思 -我完全听不懂 不过谁在乎呢
-What did that even mean? -I have no idea, but who cares?
-他好像很亲切 -他确实很亲切 是吧
-He seems nice. -He does seem nice, doesn’t he?
收到 好伙伴 完毕
Copy that, good buddy. Over.
爸 我能试试吗
Oh, can I try, Dad?
当然
Yeah, course.
讲完时说”完毕”
When you finish talking, say “over.”
-好酷 -好
-Okay. Cool. -Okay.
呼叫 我朋友杰西说卡车司机都是强♥奸♥犯
Breaker 1-9, my friend Jessie says all truck drivers are rapists.
-你是强♥奸♥犯吗 -凯文 不要
-Are you a rapist? -Kevin, no! No!
对不起 完毕
Oh. Sorry. Over.
-别啊不 -你在干嘛
-No! No. -What are you doing?
-干嘛我在发问 -你搞砸了
-What? It’s a question. -You’re ruining it.
对不起 好伙伴
Sorry about that there, good buddy.
你知道小孩子的嘴巴有多不安分
You know how little boys are when their mouths get goin’.
我没有…不是暗示你…
I don’t… Not to imply that you are…
喜欢小孩子的嘴巴干什么勾当
Fond of when little boys’ mouths get goin’ in any way.
我不是暗指你是性罪犯…
I-I’m not suggesting that you are a sex offender…
-或有恋童癖 -行了 闭嘴
-or a pedophile. -Okay, no!
是啊 这就是无线电 孩子们 赞吧
Yeah. So that’s the CD Radio, guys. Neat, huh?
嘿 爸 什么是恋童癖
Hey, Dad, what’s a pedophile?
凯文 当男人和男孩深爱对方…
Mm, well, Kevin, when a man and a boy love each other very mu…
闭嘴
No.
一级棒加油站餐厅
-我要撒尿 -我也要
-I have to piss. -Me, too.
好 陪他去 看着他
Okay, go with him, please, and keep an eye on him.
-好 -谢谢
-Okay. -Thank you.
你看 兄弟的感情已经变好了
Look at that. The boys are bonding already.
这不是最好的情况吗
Isn’t this the best?
是啊
Yeah.
你还记得吗 当初你刚考到飞行员执照时…
Do you remember, back when you were just getting your pilot’s license…
你和我会坐着…
and you and I would sit there…
大聊特聊要去世界各地旅行…
and we’d talk about all those, like, overseas trips we would take…
-之类的事 -哦
-and stuff? -Oh.
是啊 当然记得 当时我以为会进大型航♥空♥公♥司♥
Yeah, of course, that’s when I thought I was gonna fly for one of the big guys.
我知道这不是最棒的航♥空♥公♥司♥ 但省到家航♥空♥…
I know it’s not the most glamorous airline, but Econo air,
很适合我们
it’s been pretty good to us.
对我来说 跟你和儿子们在这里…
As far as I’m concerned, right here with you and the boys,
这就是天堂
this is paradise.
我上的那间厕所有个洞
There was a hole in the side of my stall.
-看来你发现偷♥窥♥孔了 -拉斯
-Sounds like you found yourself a glory hole. -Russ?
-呣 -别说
-Hmm? -No.
-好了咱们上路吧 -好的
-All right. Let’s hit the road. -Okay.
《相助》
看着窗帘随风摇摆
See the curtains hangin’ in the window
在这静谧的周五之夜
in the evenin’ on a Friday night
斑驳的光洒在窗台
A little light a-shinin’ through the window
希望一切都将会美好
Lets me know everything is alright
夏日微风…
Summer breeze…
昏死吧 昏死吧
Go to sleep! Go to sleep!
你有什么毛病
What… What’s wrong with you?!
我只想看你憋多久气才会昏倒
I just wanted to see how long you could hold your breath before you black out.
别乱来 我可能会死的
Don’t do that! I could have died.
没差别了
Whatever.
该死的 凯文
Goddamn it. Kevin!
田纳西州孟菲斯市
老公 干嘛下高速公路
Hey, honey, why’d we get off the highway?
我觉得带孩子们去看你的母校会很好玩
Well, I thought it would be fun for the kids to see where you went to college.
噢 天啊 他们为什么会觉得好玩
Oh, God. Why would that be fun for them, honey?
你可以给他们导游
Well, you could give us a tour.
也许以后他们有人会去读
Maybe one of them could study there one day.
不 不 免谈
Oh, no. No way, man.
我的目标是长春藤名校
I’ve got my sights seton something a little more Ivy league.
操蛋
Fucker.
-妈什么 -我是说我爱你
-What, Ma? -I love you. That’s what I said.
-我也爱你 -我说了我爱你
-Love you, too. -I said I love you.
咱们查一下还有多远
Let’s just see how far it is.
您的目的地距离9 2英里
You are 9.2 miles from your destination.
好 设定最佳路线
Oh. All right. Check the best route.
哦 我改变了语言设置
Oh! I changed the language.
不是这个
That’s not it.
那是哪国话
What is that?
我不知道 韩语
Uh, I don’t know. I… Korean?
天啊 太可怕了 请关掉它 拉斯
Oh, God, it’s horrible! Just please turn it off, Russ.
菜单全是韩文 我不知道该按哪一个键
The menu’s all in Korean now. I don’t know what to press.
这种语言跟别的语言比起来为什么这么愤怒
Why is it so much angrier than the other voices?
别按了…
Why don’t we just…
老婆 它不喜欢你乱碰 好吗
Honey, it doesn’t…It like when you touch it, okay?
别管它 让他冷静下来
Just leave it alone. Let it calm down.
孟菲斯州立大学
哇 这里一点没变呢
Wow. This place has not changed a bit.
-那不是姐妹会宿舍吗 -嗯
-Isn’t that Sorority Row? -Mm-hmm.
咱们去看看你的宿舍
Let’s go check out your house.
不 老公
Oh, no, honey.
你不觉得我们该赶路了吗
Don’t you… don’t you think we should get back on the road?
不 去吧 会很好玩的
No, come on. It’ll be fun.
只是无聊的旧宿舍
It’s… It’s just a boring, old house.
加油 加油 加油 加油
Go! Go! Go! Go!
好耶 有养眼的
Yeah! That’s what’s up!
没想到她们还在玩这个
I cannot believe that they are still doing this.
嘎嚓嘎嚓
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug
这是干嘛
what is it?
呃…是3P姐妹会的”喝了就上”
Uh, it is the Tri-Pi Chug run.
你得一饮而尽一大壶啤酒…
You have to chug a big pitcher of beer…
然后要尽快冲过各关
and then you have to get through the course as fast as you can.
你玩过这个 你几乎滴酒不沾
And you did this? ‘Cause you hardly drink.
是不喝啊 但这是做慈善 看
No. Yeah. But, honey, it’s for charity. See?
所有收益捐助亚屎伯格症研究
嗨 你们想乐捐亚屎伯格症吗
Hi. Would you like to donate to assburgers?
不 我们只是经过
Oh, no. We’re just stopping by.
我很久以前是3P成员…
I was a Tri-Pi a long time ago, so…
事实上 喝了就上是我的主意
In fact, the Chug run was my idea.
-是吗 -对
-It was? -Yeah.
等等 你是黛比·佛莱切
Wait. Are you Debbie Fletcher?
对
Yeah.
我的天啊
Oh, my shit.
哦 我的天 竟然是你
Oh, my shit! I can’t believe it’s you!
姐♥妹♥们♥ 过来 把剪贴簿拿来
Guys! Come here! Bring over the book!
是他妈的黛比·佛莱切本尊
It’s Debbie fucking Fletcher.
-你怎么知道我是谁 -我的天 你开玩笑吗
-How do you know who I am? -Oh, my God, are you kidding me?
你是3P的传奇
You’re like a legend at Tri-Pi!
你是”黛比什么都干”
You’re Debbie do-anything!
-黛比什么都干 -孩子们去玩
-Uh, Debbie do-anything? -Go play.
对 看
Yeah, look!
黛比什么都干
看到了吗
See? Huh?
惨了
Oh, God.
你光溜溜爬钟塔是真的吗
Is it true that you climbed the clock tower naked?
当然不是
Of course not.
你真的来者不拒谁想看你的咪♥咪♥都有求必应
Did you really show your tits to anyone who asked?
-老公我们该走了 -喔喔 等一下
-Honey, we should go. -Wha… Wha… hang… hang on.
我听说你用一根手指头捅了院长的鸡♥巴♥
I heard that you stuck a finger in the Dean’s dick.
你真的烧毁了一间Taco Bell快餐店
Did you really burn down the Taco Bell?
我听说你跟安东尼·霍普金斯打过炮
I heard that you fucked Anthony Hopkins.
我听说敲你的头…
I heard that, if people bop you on your head,
你就会拉出金币
gold coins come out of your butt.
-好了女士们 -什么
-Okay, ladies. -Uh… What?!
我想我很了解我老婆…
I think I know my wife pretty well,
她绝对没做过那些事