假期历险记

I guess I’m the asshole…
想让全家更亲密的大混♥蛋♥ 是吧
for trying to bring my family closer together, right?
我得到什么 孩子们不想跟我在一起…
What do I get? Kids who don’t wanna be with me,
老婆很悲惨
and a wife who’s miserable.
-拉斯 -省省吧 黛比
-Russ. -Oh, come on, Debbie.
你明知道是真的 你觉得你委曲求全
You know it’s true. You think you settled for me.
你认为我是窝囊废的地区飞行员
You think I’m a loser regional pilot.
听好了
Well, guess what?
国际航♥空♥公♥司♥一直在挖我…
I get offers from international carriers all the time,
我拒绝了 为什么 因为我不想离开…
and I turn them down. Why? Because I don’t wanna be away…
你和孩子那么久
from you and the kids that long.
我是个白♥痴♥ 我应该接受那些工作之一…
I’m an idiot! I should take one of those jobs…
飞到赞比西河的金字塔…
and fly off to the Pyramids of Zambezi…
还有失落的花♥园♥在…
and the lost gardens of…
管它在哪里
wherever the fuck!
别管了 别管这趟愚蠢的旅行了
Just forget it. Forget this whole, stupid trip.
你们自♥由♥了
You people are on your own.
你们一定会找到更好的老公和老爸
I’m sure you’ll find a better husband and father.
有六块肌的牛仔…
A cowboy with a huge six-pack…
会带你们去巴黎 还有摔跤…
who will take you to Paris and wrestling and…
还有梦想日志
to books.
什么…
What…
等等 你要去哪里
Wait, where are you going?
我哪知道
Fuck if I know!
嗷 我的天 这些滚草里全是硬物
Ow! God! These tumbleweeds are all filled with things that are hard!
搞什么…
What the…
不要
Oh, no.
救命 救命
Help. Help!
救命
Help!
救命
Help!
停车
Stop!
快点 快 快 快走
Come on. Go, go, go!
救命
Help!
不要
No!
救命
Help!
-别杀他 -爸
-Don’t you kill him! -Dad!
万分抱歉 我称你恋童癖时 我…
I’m so sorry. When I called you a pedophile, I was…
不要 不 不 不 不要
No! No, no, no, no!
不要 别在我家人面前
No! Not… Not in front of my family!
你老婆在密苏里州的休息站掉了这个
Your wife left this in a truck stop in Missouri.
觉得你们会想找回来
Thought you might want it back.
哦 我的天
Oh, my God.
等等 等等 那是我的婚戒
Wait! Wait! Is that my ring?
他一直想要还我们
This man’s been trying to return it to us the whole time.
我不知道该怎么谢你
I don’t know how I could ever thank you.
不必道谢
No thanks necessary.
我正好顺路
It was on my way.
所以你不是强♥奸♥犯
So you’re not a rapist?
看来你们的车全毁
Looks like your car’s pretty messed up.
你们要去哪
Where you headed?
嗯
Um…
回家吧
Home, I guess.
我能载你们到旧金山 那有帮助吗
Well, I can take you as far as San Francisco. Will that help?
可以 可以 那…那行得通
Yeah. Yeah, th-that’ll work.
谢谢你
Thank you.
好了 孩子们过来 谢谢你
All right, come on, guys. Thank you.
-他还是没回答我 -凯文
-He still didn’t answer me. -Oh, Kevin.
我早就意识到
I found out long ago
假日之路啊
Holiday road
艾许贝里小路 民宿附早餐
谢谢载我们一程 感激不尽
Well, thanks for the ride. Really appreciate it.
对了 你一直没告诉我们…
Hey, you know, you never told us…
为什么你车前吊着泰迪熊
why you keep that Teddy bear on the front of your truck.
哦 是啊
Oh, yeah.
噢 那让孩子们感觉自在点
Oh, it makes the kids feel more comfortable.
是吗 你有孩子
Oh, yeah? You… you have kids?
没有
Nope.
好 保重
Right. Take care.
我想衰运到此了
Well, I guess that’s that.
是啊 明天我们搭飞机回家
Yeah. We’ll get a flight home tomorrow.
别住这里 这是我们待过最烂的民宿
Do not stay here! It’s the worst bed and breakfast we’ve ever been to!
这里该被勒令停业 老板是疯子
They oughta shut this place down! The owner is a lunatic!
欢迎再来 听到吗
You all come back now, ya hear?
嘿 瞧瞧谁来了
Hey! Look who made it!
爱伦
Ellen!
哦 你已经出来了 他们来了
Oh, there you are. They’re here!
嗨 爸
Hi, Dad.
我们接到你们的电♥话♥是多么高兴啊
We were so happy to get the call.
你们旅途怎么样
How was your trip?
-说来话长 -爱的抱抱
-Well, it’s a long story. -Give me a hug.
-嗨爷爷 -过来 你们两个
-Hi, Grandpa. -Come here, you two.
我的天啊 你长得这么大了
Oh, my gosh! You’re Gettin’ so big!
嘿 来吧 进屋去吧
Hey, come on, let’s go inside.
-爷爷不必啦 -不 我行的 真的
-Grandpa, you don’t have to. -No, I can do it. Really.
-哦拉斯 -克拉克
-Oh, Russ. -Clark.
不 我能搞定 没问题的
Oh, no. I got this. I’m fine.
-嗷 -这真的很痛
-Ow. -This really hurts.
那时Muffin蛋糕把车子给炸了
And that’s when the muffin made the car explode.
但这不打紧
But it didn’t really matter…
我们的行李和所有东西…
because our luggage and all of our stuff…
早就被肩上有…
had already been stolen…
老鼠的人给偷了
by the guy with the rat on his shoulder.
连我的吉他也被偷了
They even took my guitar.
詹姆斯 这太糟了
Oh, James, that’s terrible.
一个没有乐器的音乐家就像…
A musician without his instrument…
没有马桶座的鞋匠一样惨
is as bad as a shoemaker without a toilet seat.
我有东西补偿你
I may have something for you.
这很娇贵 交给你了
It’s very fragile. Look. You take care of that.
好棒 爷爷 太谢谢你了
Wow, Grandpa. Thank you so much.
-酷 -好耶
-Cool! -Yeah!
它看上去不起眼 但是一把很特别的吉它
Doesn’t look like much, but that’s a very special guitar.
是鲍勃·迪龙给我的
It was given to me by Bob Dillon.
民谣诗人鲍勃·迪伦
The Bob Dylan?
不 鲍勃·迪龙
No. A Bob Dillon.
迪龙
D-I-L-L-O-N.
-是我的一位会计师朋友 -哦
-An accountant friend of mine. -Oh.
但之前是几米·汗醉克斯给他的
But it was given to him by Jimmy Hendricks.
-吉他之神吉米·亨醉克斯 -不是
-The Jimi Hendrix? -No.
那民宿经营的顺利吗
So how’s the b-and-b business going?
嗯 我们非常喜欢 这还用说 它太适合我们了
Oh, we love it, are you kidding? It’s a great fit for us.
我们喜欢游客 喜欢照顾人 我们善于交际
We love visitors. We love having people around to care for. We’re people people.
各位 介意我们加入
Hey, guys. You mind if we join you?
没位置了 滚开
We’re occupied right now. Beat it.
嗯 好了 时候不早了 你们去睡吧
Hmm. All right, guys, it’s gettin’ late. Why don’t you go to bed, okay?
-好的妈 -我带你们上楼
-Okay, Mom. -Yeah. I’ll run you upstairs.
-晚安爷爷奶奶 -晚安
-Good night, Grandma and Grandpa. -Nighty-night.
-谢谢 -睡个好觉
-Thank you. -Sleep tight.
你们当然是经历了一场冒险
Well, you’ve certainly had an adventure.
对 说”冒险”一点也不夸张
Well, yes. “Adventure” is one way to put it.
-奥黛莉怎么样 -哦 她很好
-How’s Audrey? -Oh, she’s great.
她和斯通看起来很快乐
Yeah, she and Stone, they seem to be very happy.
关键字是”看起来”
Key word there is “seem”.
-什么意思 -他们的婚姻只是个幌子
-What do you mean? -Their marriage is a sham.
什么
What?
这个嘛 他们互相劈腿 好几年了
Well, they sleep around on each other. Been doin’ it for years.
哦 我的天啊
Oh, my gosh.
我只希望奥黛莉有个像你和拉斯蒂一样的稳固婚姻
I just wish Audrey had found a more solid marriage like you and Rusty.
《姐妹》
《你的婚姻快玩完了》
嘿 拉斯 我们能谈谈吗
Hey, Russ, can we talk?
我知道我们有点问题
I knew we had some problems.
但有这么惨吗
Is it this bad?