假期历险记

so I think we’re in for a pretty sweet ride, guys.
-走吧 -好
-Let’s roll. -All right.
要泛舟了
Let’s do this.
好了 笑话时间结束
Okay, gang, joke time is over.
咱们正经一下
All right, let’s get serious for a second.
在下水前先确认一些安全程序
Let’s go over a couple safety procedures before we hit the water.
首先 你们当中熟悉这条河吗 这其实是我的第一次
First off… Do any of you know this river? ‘Cause this is actually my first time.
逗你们的
I’m kidding.
我有三年半的经验 对这条河了若指掌
Been doing this about three and a half years. Know the river inside and out, okay?
我在玉米花生糖盒子里抽中导游执照
Uh, got my guide certificate from a cracker Jack box.
那是笑话 冷笑话 看到这小鬼的脸上写着什么
That’s a joke. Guys, it’s a joke. See the little kid’s face? He’s all,
“玉米花生糖盒子 什么”
“a cracker Jack box? A what?!”
在水上你们要做的就是听从我的指示
All you gotta do is follow my instructions out there.
这样我们会有五成机会活着回来
And we got a 50-50 chance of coming back alive.
逗你们的 看这小鬼的脸上写着…
I’m kidding, guys. See the little kid’s face, he’s all,
“我要活着回来 我不想死”
“I’m coming back alive! I don’t wanna die!”
呃 对不起 等一下
Uh, sorry, hang on a second.
我有个未婚妻打来的电♥话♥
I’m getting a call from my fiancée here.
实际上 我们两周前才订婚
Actually, just got engaged two weeks ago,
所以我得接这个电♥话♥
so I think I’m gonna take this
否则我今天淌的浑水不只这条河
or the river’s not gonna be the only hot water I’m in today.
河其实不是浑水
River’s actually very cold.
嗨 宝贝
Hey, boo.
哇 这太棒了
Wow. This is awesome.
咱们将要划船…
We’re about to set sail…
穿过美国最大的水路宝藏之一
through one of America’s greatest aquatic treasures.
-凯文别打你哥 -我没有
-Kevin, don’t hit your brother. -I didn’t.
你听到他说水路宝藏什么的吧
You heard what he said about the aquatic treasures and everything, right?
是的
Yeah.
你不想揍他
And you didn’t wanna hit him?
-嗯这是个进步 -不得了
-Hmm, well, that’s progress. -Wow.
可是我不明白 你到底在说什么
I don’t understand, though. Like, what are you even saying?
就那样
But j-just like that?!
我爱你 你爱我啊
I-I love you! You love me!
谭雅 拜托
Tanya, please!
请再考虑一下 亲爱的
Please, just let’s think about this for a second, honey.
你是我在这世上的一切
You’re all that I have in this world!
谭雅 别挂 宝贝 不 谭雅
Tanya, no, babe. No, Tanya! No!
请不要挂电♥话♥ 不 不 该死
Please don’t hang up! No! No! Goddamn it!
谁准备好泛舟了
Who’s ready to go on the river?
查德 你没事吧
Um, are you okay, Chad?
是的 结果是我不再订婚状态了
Oh, yeah! Turns out, I’m not engaged anymore.
那么…
So…
上船吧
All aboard.
我不确定 拉斯
I don’t know about this, Russ.
得了 他只是开玩笑
Oh, come on. He’s kidding.
我无法忘记今晚
No I can’t forget this evening
当你离去时的脸庞
Oh, your face as you were leaving
但我想那就是故事的结局
But I guess that’s just the way the story goes
你一直保持著笑容 但眼里却流露著哀伤
You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows
没错 那是哀伤
Yes, it shows
我活不下去 如果生命中失去了你
I can’t live, if living is without you
我活不下去 我再也无法付出
I can’t live, I can’t give anymore
我活不下去 如果生命中没有你
I can’t live, if living is without you
振作一下
我无法付出 我再也无法付出
I can’t give, I can’t give anymore
我活不下去 如果生命中失去了你
I can’t live, if living is without you
我活不下去 我再也无法付出
I can’t live, I can’t give anymore
糟了
大家跳船
我活不下去 如果生命中没有你
I can’t live, if living is without you
我活不下去…
I can’t live…
我们能回家了吗
Can we go home now?
什么 我们还有一天就到哇哩乐园了
What? We’re a day away from Walley World.
爸 我觉得我们当中都没人真的在乎哇哩乐园
Dad, I don’t think any of us really care about Walley World.
孩子们说得对 拉斯 我们刚才差点死掉
The boys are right, Russ. I mean, we almost died back there.
我们该及时抽身降低损失了吧
I mean, isn’t it time that we just cut our losses?
我没听错吧
I cannot believe what I’m hearing.
我…噢 噢 我的天
I… oh. Oh, my God!
哈 好吧
Huh? All right.
这是个征兆 对吧
That has to be a sign, right?
我们注定要完成这次旅程
We were meant to finish this trip.
开心点 大家跟着我唱
Come on, guys, everybody sing it with me.
曾有一座灰濛濛的高塔
There used to be a graying tower
兀立在海边
alone on the sea,
-你成为… -我们失去电台信♥号♥♥了
-You became… -We’re losing the station, Russ.
-我们没有失去任何东西 -失去了 只是…
-We’re not losing anything. -Yes, we are, just…
只是要比较用力听
We just have to listen a little harder!
爱仍在 像迷幻药…
Love remained a drug…
不 没了 没了
Okay, no, no, no.
没信♥号♥♥了 没信♥号♥♥了
It’s gone. It’s gone.
-就算了吧 -好啊
-Just let it go! -Fine!
本来以来咱们可以一起唱Seal的歌♥…
Just thought we could all sing Seal together…
就像普通人家那样
like normal families do.
油表
啊…
Ah,
糟了
crap!
-现在又怎么了 -我们快没油了
-Now what? -We’re almost out of gas.
我的天
Oh, my God.
放心啦
It’s all right.
我能肯定咱们一定能找到地方加油的…
I’m sure we will find a place to fill up around here…
在油箱见底前
before we run out.
老天
Ugh. Man.
完全没信♥号♥♥
No signal at all.
不知道这款车有没有道路救援
Wonder if the prancer has roadside assistance.
那要怎么打电♥话♥给他们
How would we even call them?
也许钥匙上有按键
Maybe it’s one of the buttons on the fob.
真的假的 你要继续按钮
Seriously? You’re gonna keep pressing buttons?
我们没试过大礼帽
Well, we never tried the top hat.
老天
Oh, geez.
我的妈呀
Oh, my God!
现在知道大礼帽是什么了
Well, now we know what the top hat does.
我不会试纳粹党徽 那只剩Muffin蛋糕了
I’m not gonna do the swastika. All that’s left is the muffin.
加油 Muffin蛋糕
Come on, muffin.
-什么 -起动了
-What? -It started!
-好耶 -好棒
-Yes! -All right!
哦 一定是备用油箱
Oh! Must be the extra gas tank.
-对吧 -Muffin蛋糕万岁
-Right? -Oh! The muffin!
最强老爸即刻救援
Dad to the rescue!
-谢天谢地 -等一下 车子要去哪
-Thank God. -Wait, where’s it going?
等等 等一下
Wait! Wait a minute!
-让车子停下来 -我不会
-Make it… Make it stop! -I don’t know how!
再按一次Muffin蛋糕
I’ll hit the muffin again!
好 我们能应付这情况
All right. We can handle this.
不要 拜托别这样说了
Oh, no, no, no. Please don’t say that.
别说我们能应付 拉斯 好吗
Do not say that we can handle this, Russ. Okay?
-我们能 -不 我们不能 我们不能
-We can. -No, we can’t! We can’t!
从我们出发开始 这趟旅行就连连出错
From the moment we left for this trip, nothing has gone right.
拜托你能不能承认这是一场错误
Can you please just admit that this was a mistake?
但这不是 对吧 我们都想旅行
But it wasn’t. Right? We all wanted to go.
-我不想 -我也不想
-I didn’t. -No. Me neither.
我也不想 是你想去
Me neither. You wanted to go.
好吧 我觉得…
All right, I think tempers…
大家正在气头上
are getting a little hot right now.
我们只要…
We just have to, uh…
我们都只要…
We just all have to…
要死啦
Fuck me!
我放弃了
I give up!
我只是想带我他妈的家人…
All I wanted to do was take my fuckin’ family…
去他妈的哇哩乐园玩…
on a fuckin’ trip to Walley World…
坐天杀的迅猛龙
and ride the fucking velociraptor!
噢 里面有颗大石头
Ow! There’s a rock in that.
我想我是个…