假期历险记

-Turn around! Hands behind your back. -What? What?
别这么急 汤米
Not so fast, Tommy!
活见你的大头鬼 你来这里干什么 凯尔
Shoot for sherbet! What are you doin’ here, Kyle?
这些人显然在科罗拉多州 这是我的管辖区
These people are clearly in the state of Colorado. That’s my jurisdiction.
管辖个屁 凯尔
Juris-dick in my ass, Kyle.
看她的左脚 恰好在亚利桑那州
Look at her left foot. Smack-dab in Arizona.
你这合法吸大♥麻♥ 首都一英里高的烂州
You weed-legalizing, mile-high piece of shit.
嘿 没必要搞言语攻击
Hey, there’s no reason for that language.
对不起 摩♥门♥教♥警官
Oh, I’m sorry, officer mormon.
不爽 我有个主意
You don’t like that? I have an idea.
干脆用摩♥门♥教♥徒的老二当耳塞
Why don’t you plug up your ears with mitt romney’s dick?
-哈 -嘿
-Ha! -Hey!
看来新墨西哥佬午觉被吵醒了
Oh, looks like New Mexico decided to wake up from his siesta.
到底是什么问题
What seems to be the trouble?
听好什么问题 捕梦人
Tell you what the trouble is, dreamcatcher.
你们载太多绿松石饰品了
You are wearing entirely too much goddamn turquoise.
嘿 不用搞到侮辱彼此的传统吧
Hey, we can do this without disrespecting each other’s traditions.
去操你的三妻四妾吧 汤米
Oh, go fuck your wives, Tommy.
又来了 这正如我告诉你们这帮人的 每晚都要吵
See, this is what I’m telling you guys. Every night we do this.
知道这个边界代表什么
You know what this border represents?
只是个概念 我言尽于此
It’s just an idea. That’s all I’m saying.
如果只是个概念 那我要抓犯人了…
All right, well, if it’s just an idea, then I’ll just get the perp…
-我的地盘 -噢
-My house! -Oh!
-嘿 -滚开我的州 老兄
-Hey! -Stay out of my state, buddy.
是吗 你打算怎样
Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do now?
-你的脚滚开我的州 -别乱来
-Get your feet off of my state! -Hey, come on, now.
你想踹我的脚
You wanna stomp on my foot?
-你后退…你后退… -你想自找麻烦
-You back… you back… -Is that what you want?
-别进我的州 -我根本没越界
-Stay out of this. -Hey, I wasn’t even in it!
喔 别踢进来
Whoa! Don’t you kick in here!
-别逼我… -你还想这么干
-Don’t start… -You wanna do that again?
那这样呢 啊 啊
How about this, then? Huh? Huh?
-哦 -噢 有上膛武器
-Oh! -Oh, we got a live wire!
-糟了啊糟糕 -有上膛武器
-Oh, shit! Aw, shit! -We got a live weapon!
你以为我怕那玩意
Ooh. Ooh. You think I’m afraid of that shit?
我不怕你
I’m not afraid of you!
这样呢 啊 啊
How about that, huh? Huh?
好啊 你以为我不敢
Oh, yeah, like I’m afraid?
我们要…我可不想让枪插♥进♥我嘴里
Are we gonna… I don’t want it in my mouth.
我们别这么干 好吗
Let’s not do that, okay?
我敢整支吞掉
I’ll take that all in, dude!
够了 大家趴下
That’s enough! Everyone get down!
-趴在地上 -大家趴地上 趴下
-Get down on the ground! -Everyone down on the ground! Get down!
-趴下趴在地上 -你趴下 趴下
-Get down on the ground! -You get down! Get down!
我会合作 我合作了
I’m cooperating! I’m the one who’s cooperating!
-你也趴下你也趴下 -趴在地上
-You get down, too. You get down, too. -Get down on the ground!
-手放哪里 -放右边
-Hands where? -Hands on your right side!
-旁边还是前面 -两边靠拢 两边靠拢
-By the sides or in front? -Side to side. Side to side.
-就这么办 -大家趴下了
-Let’s do this. -Everyone down?
好
Okay.
我想我冷静了
I think I’m done.
你从这里真的能看见满天繁星
You can really see all the stars out here.
是啊
Yeah.
所以…你想做什么
So… What do you feel like doing?
我不知道
I don’t know.
我能…
Ca…
我能给你舔菊花吗
Can I give you a rim job?
-哇 -不行
-Whoa! -No.
-什么 -我不知道
-Uh, what?! -I don’t know.
-你吃错药吗 -我不知道 抱歉
-What’s wrong with you? -I don’t know. I’m sorry.
你本来想做什么
What did… What did you wanna do?
我不知道 我本来想也许我们能…
I don’t know. I thought maybe we could…
亲嘴之类的
kiss or something?
嗯 好啊 我就是那个意思…
Well, yeah, that’s what I thought I…
对 好
Yeah. Okay.
噢
Ow!
驴蛋 爸妈在哪里
Where’s Mom and Dad, dork?
我不知道 凯文 你给我回去
I don’t know, Kevin. Just go back inside the thing.
你要让那玩意儿吻你
You were about to let that dingus kiss you?
闭嘴 凯文
Shut up, Kevin.
-那是谁 -我的蠢弟弟
-Who is that? -My stupid little brother.
我以为你说他是你哥哥
I thought you said he was your big brother.
我…可恶
I… damn it!
小玩意
Dingus.
你干嘛要这样忍♥他
Why do you take that from him?
要不然我该怎么做 打回去 他是小孩
What am I supposed to do, hit him back? He’s a little kid.
他是小屁孩 你不必任他摆布
He’s a little shit. You don’t have to let him push you around.
我以为吃亏就是占便宜
I kinda thought I was taking the high road.
是啊 看来你乐在其中
Yeah, that seems to be working out for you.
我决定了
You know what?
豁出去了
Fuck it.
好啊 你想找碴
Okay, so you wanna do this now?
放马过来 贱♥人♥
Bring it, bitch.
等等 什么 好大胆子
Wait, what?! No, no, no.
喔 这太容易了 你这么小的个头
Wow. This is so easy. You are such a little boy.
以后情况变化 凯文 好吗 不准再欺负了
There’s gonna be a few changes, Kevin, all right? No more bullying.
-住手我要跟妈告状 -闭嘴
-Stop it! I’m telling Mom. -Shut your mouth.
你会停止欺负
You gonna stop bullying?
你弄痛我肚子了
You’re hurting my tummy!
说你会停止 你这小…
Say you’re gonna stop, you little piece of…
屁虫
ass.
-等等什么小屁虫 -你明白我的意思 好吗
-Wait, what? “Piece of ass”? -You know what I mean, okay?
干嘛…你干嘛弄我的脸
What… what are you doing to my face?
-会痛吧 -搞屁
-This hurts, doesn’t it? -Dude!
你喜欢被揉耳朵吗
How do you like your ears Gettin’ messed up with?
根本不痛
It’s really not that bad.
我要拍你的额头
I’mma tap you right on the forehead.
这算哪门子打人
That’s not even how you beat someone up!
很不人道 你的额头会很酸痛
Very dehumanizing. Your forehead’s gonna be so sore.
-啊啊啊啊啊啊 -住手 你在干嘛
-Blblbl! Blblbl! -Stop it! What are you doing?!
你介意嘴唇被搔痒吗
How do you like your lips getting tickled?
这太诡异了
This is really weird.
捏你脸颊
Just smush your cheeks.
-你会停止欺负 -好 我会停止欺负 放手
-You gonna stop bullying? -Fine. I’ll stop bullying. Just stop doing this.
谢谢你 艾迪娜 这是…
Thank you, Adena. This has been…
我人生最美好的夜晚
The best night of my life.
真♥他♥妈♥诡异的一家
Weird fucking family.
运气真背
Well, that was awful.
至少小孩没醒来
At least the kids never woke up.
车子左边的乘客会注意到…
Uh, passengers on the left side of the prancer…
窗外是大峡谷
will notice the Grand Canyon out the window.
没错 哇哩乐园前的最后一站
That’s right. Last stop before Walley World.
艾迪娜接受你的朋友邀请
感情状况
选择关系 稳定交往中
大伙儿 我小时候来大峡谷时…
So, guys, when we visited the Grand Canyon when I was a kid,
几乎没机会欣赏
we barely had a chance to look at it.
这一次…
This time…
我们的活动不只有欣赏
We’re gonna do a whole lot more than look.
-酷 -好呀
-Oh, cool. -Sweet!
大峡谷湍流冒险
嗨 各位好 嗨
Hi, folks! Hi!
好 瞧瞧谁来了 你们一定是方家
All right, let’s see, who do we got here? You must be the fung family!
啊
Huh?
跟你们开玩笑的 格瑞斯沃德家是吧
I’m just messing! You’re the Griswolds, right?
对 没错
Yes, that’s right.
好 这小鬼的脸上好像写着…
Right. The little guy’s face was like,
“方家 啊”
“fungs? Huh?!”
言归正传 我是查德 你们的导游
Anyway, I’m Chad. I’m gonna be your guide.
-好的嗨查德 -好的
-Okay. Hi, Chad. -All right.
你们来对了日子 我会让你们都穿好装备
Well you couldn’t have come on a better day. I’m gonna get you all geared up.
而且 你们猜怎么着 河水正在高涨期…
And, guess what, the river’s running way high,
我们应该会经历一场刺♥激♥的旅程