托斯卡纳艳阳下（2003）

他给人开安♥眠♥药♥
He hands out the sleeping pills.
-你是做什么的 -我是作家
– What do you do? – I’m a writer.
那你可以帮其他人写自杀遗言
So you can help the others with their suicide notes.
你是故意搞笑的吧
Ah, you’re one of those funny landlords.
也不是
Not really.
这是你的钥匙
Well, here’s your keys.
祝你住得愉快
Have a good stay.
谢谢
Thanks.
这就是家了
Home.
你用蛋糕和香槟庆祝婚姻开始
Ta-da! You start a marriage with cake and champagne,
也该这样庆祝结束
you should finish it that way, too.
开始和结束都该乐起来
The beginning and the end should be fun, fun, fun.
那中间的恼人岁月岂不是很惨
Too bad about those pesky years in the middle.
-抱歉来晚了 -许个愿吧
– Sorry. – Make a wish.
医院那边差点失控
Things got crazy at the hospital.
你正好赶上祝酒
You made it in time for the toast.
了不起 只浪费了一年时间
Bravo. And it only took a year.
-为重获自♥由♥干杯 -敬自♥由♥
– To freedom. – To freedom.
谢谢
Thanks.
你没喝啊 你根本没喝啊
You’re not drinking. You’re not drinking!
-好运在第五次降临了 -天啊 派蒂
– Fifth time was a charm. – Oh, my God! Patti!
-什么时候生 -五月
– When are you due? – May.
五月 太好了
May! Oh, my God.
我要当姨妈了 我要当姨妈了 真棒
I’m going to be an auntie! I’m going to be an auntie. Yes.
-小小的打乱了我们的计划 -当然了
– It changes our plans a little bit. – Well, of course.
我们本打算去托斯卡尼来次浪漫的十天之旅
We were about to take a 10-day tour to romantic Tuscany,
但我不想让派蒂在头三月坐飞机
but I don’t want Patti flying during her first trimester.
小牺牲而已
Small sacrifice.
所以我们决定把经济舱机票升级成头等舱
So we decided to change our coach tickets into an upgraded ticket
送给你
for you.
这非常好 也很慷慨 谢谢你们
This is amazing. Really generous. Thank you.
但我不能接受
But, no.
你怎么能拒绝托斯卡尼呢
How can you say no to Tuscany?
不 你看我又说了
No. Like that.
这是消沉的你在说话
That’s your depression speaking.
消沉的我不会说意大利语
Well, it doesn’t speak Italian.
倒记得点高中学的法语
It speaks a little high-school French.
而且 我已经不消沉了
Besides, I’m not depressed anymore.
那你为什么还在离婚者营地
Then what are you still doing
和那些窝囊废一起生活
living at Camp Divorce with all those losers?
你留点口德 他们是我的邻居
Be nice. Those are my people.
你不属于那个地方
That’s not a place you live.
得了吧
Guys, come on.
我很感谢你们
Thank you so much.
但是我现在没法
There is no way that I can go
去托斯卡尼浪漫旅行 懂吗
on a romantic tour of Tuscany right now, okay?
我没准备好和别人约会
I mean, I’m not ready to meet anyone.
你不会的 我们保证
Oh, you won’t. That we can assure you.
这是个同性恋团
It’s a gay tour of romantic Tuscany.
所以你可以非常放松
So it would be very relaxing for you.
大多数是成双成对
Mostly couples,
不会有人找你搭讪 没话找话
no one would be there to hit on you or check you out,
你可以集中精力
and you could just concentrate
去倾听你心底的声音
and listen to your own inner voice.
我心底的声音 它会说
My inner voice. My inner voice that would be saying,
“我他妈来托斯卡尼游同性恋团干嘛”
“What the fuck am I doing on a gay tour of Tuscany?”
弗朗西丝 那可是意大利 意大利
Frances, it’s Italy. Italy.
而且 你正好可以开始写作
Plus, you could use it as a time to start writing.
我很忙 我有好多书得评论呢 派蒂
Well, I’m busy. I have to review all those books, Patti.
自己的书倒撂一边了
Instead of working on your own book.
你要这么刻薄吗 还是荷尔蒙失调
Are you being mean, or just hormonal?
行 我回来前你们俩可别杀了对方
Okay. Don’t kill each other until I get back.
我们能不能说说孩子
Can we please just talk about the baby?
-我觉得你有危险了 -什么危险
– I think you’re in danger. – Of?
一蹶不振的危险
Of never recovering.
当你遇到徒有躯壳的人的时候
You know when you come across one of those empty-shell people,
你会想 你到底怎么了
and you think, “What the hell happened to you?”
这些人都经历过一段时光
Well, there came a time in each one of those lives
曾经徘徊在十字路口
where they were standing at a crossroads.
十字路口 神啊 这太奥普拉了
Crossroads. God, that is so Oprah.
在那他们得决定向左还是向右走
Someplace where they had to decide to turn left or right.
这时候不要做胆小鬼 弗朗西丝
This is no time to be a chickenshit, Frances.
我不是胆小鬼 派蒂 我不是
I’m not being a chickenshit, Patti. I’m not.
好吧 那就答应我考虑一下
Okay, just promise me you’ll think about it.
我会考虑的 好吗
I’ll think about it. Okay?
我看 你是在找地方住吧
I got a feelin’ about you. Are you lookin’ for a place to stay?
对 差不多吧
Yeah, I guess.
-你离婚了吗 -什么
– You gettin’ a divorce? – What?
我们有短租公♥寓♥
We got short-term apartments,
但别担心 有些人一住就是好几年
but don’t worry, some people stay for years.
有作家 医生…
We got a writer, we got a doctor…
-对不起 -没关系
– Sorry. Sorry. – It’s okay.
-你想过来吗 -不想
– You wanna come over? – No!
可能过会
Maybe later.
我居然讲 可能过会
“Maybe later.”
-喂 -派蒂 我什么时候出发
– Hello? – Patti, when do I leave?
大家好 我是大卫 这是你们的司机埃多拉多
Hi, everybody, I’m David. This is your driver, Edoardo.
你们是旅行在外的同性恋
And you are gay and away.
欢迎你们开始
And welcome to your first day
托斯卡尼浪漫之旅的第一天
of our romantic tour of Tuscany.
我看见你们大多数人
Now, I saw most of you all hobnobbing
在飞机上都聊过并且互相认识了
and getting to know each other on the plane,
但我想另外确认一下你们都见过弗朗西丝了
but I wanted to make extra sure that you’ve all met Frances.
嗨 弗朗西丝
Hey, Frances.
弗朗西丝是异性恋
Now, Frances is straight
她刚从一场可怕的离婚中逃脱出来
and she just survived a terrible divorce,
她的朋友派蒂叮嘱
and according to her friend Patti,
她很需要我们的支持
she really needs our support.
弗朗西丝
So, Frances,
站起来让大家给你打个招呼吧
why don’t you stand up and let everyone say hello?
来吧 弗朗西丝 快来
Come on, Frances, come on.
嗨
Hi.
让那混♥蛋♥见鬼去 弗朗西丝 尽情玩
Screw the bastard, Frances! Have some fun!
大家听好了 跟着向日葵走
Okay, everyone, follow the flower.
天哪 居然在下雨
Good God, I can’t believe it’s raining!
对不起
Sorry.
你杯子空了 还要点吗
You’re empty. You need a little more?
你还想要酒吗 葡萄酒
You want more wine? More vino?
不好意思 黑妞能来杯喝的吗
Excuse me, can a black gal get a drink up here?
可以
Yes, she can.
弗朗西丝 来点吗
Frances, a little more?
-谢谢 -来 给
– Thank you. – Yes, here you go.
你好
Buon giorno.
-来一串 -葡萄吗
– Uno buncho. – Un grappolo?
-3000元 -什么
– Sono tremila. – What?
-3000 -3000
– Tremila. – Tremila…
谢谢 日安
Grazie. Buon giorno.
很赞 不是吗
Pretty awesome, isn’t it?
是 可以这么说 很赞
Yes, I think you could say that. Pretty awesome.
我要怎么写这些
God. How am I gonna get through all of these?
我该怎样下笔描述这一切
I mean, how do you even begin to describe all of this?
你要是有笔 我可以帮你写
Well, if you have a pen, I could write it for you.
你是个好作家吗
Are you a good writer?
以前是
I used to be.
好吧 试一下
All right, well, have a go.
-写给我妈 -亲爱的妈妈
– To my mom. – Dear Mom.
亲爱的妈妈
Dear Mom,
今天是科尔托纳的赶集日
it’s market day in Cortona.
广场上的开放宴会 所有人都受邀参加
The piazza is an ongoing party, and everyone is invited.
陈词滥调都在这世界的中心汇集
Cliches converge at this navel of the world,