托斯卡纳艳阳下

你是个有趣的房♥东
You’re one of those funny landlords.
过奖了
Not really.
这是你的钥匙
Well, here’s your keys.
过得愉快
Have a good stay.
谢谢
Thanks.
到家了
Home.
你的婚姻是从蛋糕和香槟开始的
You start a marriage with cake and champagne.
也要以它们结束
Finish it that way, too.
开始和结束都应当高兴 高兴 再高兴
The beginning and the end should be fun, fun, fun.
进入中年后 这实在是太糟了
Too bad about those years in the middle.
-对不起 -许个愿吧
-Sorry. -Make a wish.
医院里简直是疯狂了
Things got crazy at the hospital.
嗨 你总是在干杯的时候赶到
Hi. You made it in time for the toast.
这样好啊 还只是持续了一年而已
Bravo. And it only took a year.
-为了自♥由♥ -为了自♥由♥
-To freedom. -To freedom.
谢谢
Thanks.
你没有喝 你没有喝
You’re not drinking. You’re not drinking.
第五次出现奇迹了
Fifth time was a charm.
上帝
Oh, my God!
帕蒂 什么时候生
Patti! When are you due?
-五月 -五月
-May. -May!
上帝
Oh, my God!
我就要成为姨妈了
I’m going to be an auntie!
我就要成为姨妈了 是的
I’m going to be an auntie. Yes.
我们的计划有了一点变化
It changes our plans a bit.
当然
Well, of course.
我们准备去托斯卡尼过十日浪漫游
We were about to take a 10-day tour to romantic Tuscany.
但是我不希望帕蒂坐飞机去
But I don’t want Patti flying.
只好作出一点牺牲
Small sacrifice.
我们决定把我们的长途汽车票
We decided to change our coach tickets
换成一张飞机票送给你
into an upgraded ticket for you.
这真是太好了
This is amazing.
实在是太慷慨了
Really generous.
谢谢你们 但是 我不需要
Thank you, but no.
你怎么能对托斯卡尼说不呢
How can you say no to Tuscany?
不去 就是不去
No. Like that.
你是太消沉了
That’s your depression speaking.
那里不说意大利语 说的是法语
It doesn’t speak Italian. It speaks high-school French.
另外 我一点也不消沉
Besides, I’m not depressed anymore.
那你为什么还要跟那些婚姻失败者住在一起
Then what are you still doing living with those losers?
-那些是跟我一样的人 -那儿不是你住的地方
-Those are my people. -That’s not a place you live.
伙计 算了吧
Guys, come on.
非常的感谢你们
Thank you so much.
但是我没法参加托斯卡尼的浪漫游
But there is no way I can go on a romantic tour of Tuscany.
-我还没准备好接触其他人 -你不会碰上其他人的
-I’m not ready to meet anyone. -You won’t.
我们可以担♥保♥
We can assure you.
那是一个同性恋的托斯卡尼浪漫游
It’s a gay tour of romantic Tuscany.
所以能让你充分的放松
So it would be very relaxing for you.
那儿大多数都是成对的
You know, mostly couples.
没人会对你造成伤害
No one would be there to hit on you.
而你可以集中精力去倾听内心的声音
And you could concentrate and listen to your own inner voice.
我内心的声音
My inner voice?
我的内心肯定会说
My inner voice that would be saying,
我居然会参加一个同性恋的托斯卡尼浪漫游
“What am I doing on a gay tour of Tuscany?”
弗朗西斯 那是在意大利 意大利
Frances, it’s Italy! Italy.
再说了 你可以利用这段时间重新开始写作
Plus, you could use it as a time to start writing.
我很忙 我必须给很多书写评论
Well, I’m busy. I have to review all those books.
放下那些工作 写写自己的书吧
Instead of working on your own book.
那是你真正的想法还是一时兴起
Are you being mean or just hormonal?
好了 在我回来前不要相互残杀
Okay. Don’t kill each other until I get back.
我们可以谈谈宝宝的事吗
Can we please just talk about the baby?
我很为你担忧
I think you’re in danger.
哪方面
Of?
你会永远恢复不了
Of never recovering.
当你碰上了一个只有躯壳的人时
You know when you come across one of those empty-shell people?
你会想 这究竟是怎么了
And you think, “What the hell happened to you?”
那是因为他们
Well, there came a time in each one of those lives
正站在人生的十字路口
where they were at a crossroads.
十字路口 上帝 说得也太神奇了
Crossroads. God, that is so “Oprah.”
有时他们必须作出向左还是向右的决定
Someplace where they had to decide to turn left or right.
现在没有时间去做那些琐碎的事情 弗朗西斯
This is no time to be a chickenshit, Frances.
我可不是在做琐碎的事情
I’m not being a chickenshit.
我没有
I’m not.
好吧 答应我好好考虑一下那件事
Okay, promise me you’ll think about it.
我会考虑的
I’ll think about it.
好了吧
Okay.
我知道你想做什么
I got a feeling about you.
-你是不是在找地方住 -是的 我想是的
-Are you looking for a place? -Yeah, I guess.
-你离婚了 -什么
-You getting a divorce? -What?
我们这里有短期公♥寓♥出租
We got short-term apartments.
不过不用担心 有些人已经租了几年了
But don’t worry. Some stay for years.
这里住的有作家 还有医生
We got a writer. We got a doctor.
医生还可以帮你改变不良的生活习惯
The doctor could help you straighten out your life.
对不起
Sorry.
好了
It’s okay.
-你想过来吗 -不
-Do you want to come over? -No!
也许待会儿会
Maybe later.
也许待会儿会
Maybe later. Oh!
喂
Hello?
帕蒂 我什么时候出发
Patti, when do I leave?
嗨 我叫大卫
Hi, I’m David.
这是你们的司机 埃德瓦多
This is your driver, Eduardo.
而你们是 同性恋和离家出走者
And you are “Gay & Away”!
欢迎你们加入托斯卡尼浪漫游
And welcome to your first day of a romantic tour of Tuscany.
我相信大家在飞机上已经都认识了
Now, I saw most of you getting to know each other on the plane.
但我还是想让大家都认识一下弗朗西斯
But I wanted to make sure you’ve all met Frances.
弗朗西斯
WOHey, Frances.
-弗朗西斯是个异性恋者 – 可怜的姑娘
-Now, Frances is straight. -Oh, poor girl.
而且她刚刚遭遇了一场可怕的离婚
And she just survived a terrible divorce.
根据她的朋友帕蒂推断 她很需要帮助
And according to her friend Patti, she needs our support.
那么 弗朗西斯 你为什么不站起来
So, Frances, why don’t you stand up,
让大家都认识一下
and let everyone say hello?
不要 快点儿
No. Come on.
嗨
Hi!
你可是个单身贵族 弗朗西斯 高兴点儿
You’re the bachelor, Frances. Have some fun!
那好 请大家跟着花走
Okay, everyone, follow the flower.
太好了 我简直不敢相信是在下雨
Good God, I cannot believe it is raining.
太好了 大家看 我们已经到了 太好了
Okay, everyone, we’re here! Yeah! Okay!
对不起
Oops. Sorry.
你喝完了 还要再来一点儿吗
You’re empty. You need a little more?
你想要点儿葡萄酒
Whoo! You want more wine?
-来一点儿酒吗 -对不起
-Little more vino? -Excuse me.
-一个黑人女孩可以喝酒吗 -是的 她可以
-Can a black gal get a drink? -Yes, she can.
弗朗西斯 再来一点儿
Frances, little more?
你已经完全的放松了 甜心
You’ve got to loosen up, honey.
我们正在举♥行♥一个晚会
We having a party!
你好
Buongiorno.
(意大利语)
什么
What?
(意大利语)
非常漂亮 是不是
Pretty awesome, isn’t it?
我想你说得对
Yes, I think you could say that.
非常漂亮
Pretty awesome.
天哪 我怎么才能写完这么多卡
God, how am I gonna get through all of these?
我的意思是 你不知如何去描述所有的这一切
I mean, how do you begin to describe all of this?
有笔的话 我能帮你写
If you have a pen, I could write it for you.
你是个好作家吗
Are you a good writer?
曾经是
I used to be.
好吧
All right.
开始吧
Well, have a go.
给我妈妈的
To my mom.