塔利（2018）

– 干杯 – 干杯
– Cheers. – Cheers.
德鲁有问起过我吗
Does Drew ever ask about me?
嗯 他觉得这整个事情挺奇怪的
Yeah. I mean, he finds the whole thing a little weird.
哦
Yeah.
他喜欢当爹吗
Does he like being a dad?
挺喜欢的
Sure.
就正常父亲那样
The way dads do.
我是说 他每天工作很努力 然后回到家
I mean, he works really hard and then he comes home.
他会帮着做作业 给孩子念书 这些
He does the homework, the reading logs, all that.
我们一起做午饭 然后他上楼
We make lunches together, and then he goes upstairs,
戴上耳机 杀僵尸 然后睡着
puts on a headset, kills zombies and passes out.
然后你们也不
And you guys don’t ever…
– 做♥爱♥ – 嗯嗯
– Have sex? – Mmm-hmm.
没有没有 几个月没有了
Oh, no, not in months.
我是说 这就像我们都想出去吃饭
I mean, it’s like we both want dinner,
但就是没法选一个饭店 甚至不知道自己饿不饿
we just can’t pick a restaurant or even decide if we’re hungry.
那你们干啥不谈谈呢
Oh. Well, why don’t you guys just talk about it?
你有对象吗
Are you in a relationship?
有啊 好几个呢
Yeah. I’m in several.
我以前也是这个样子
I used to be like that.
嗯
Yeah.
我把旋转木马里的马都骑了个遍 然后遇到了德鲁
I rode every horse on the carousel until I met Drew.
那德鲁是哪一匹马
And which horse was Drew?
德鲁是外面的长椅
Drew was the bench.
但你爱他
But you love him.
是的
Yeah.
绝对的
Definitely.
我知道我选对了人
I know I picked the right person.
所以那你们为什么不做♥爱♥
So why don’t you guys have sex?
我每天都抱着个孩子
I hold a baby all day,
然后生活中只有我和她 很原始
and it’s me and her and it’s primal.
就像动物园里的两个猩猩
We’re like two gorillas at the zoo.
然后晚上到了
And then nighttime rolls around
我就得马上换一副装备然后说
and I’m supposed to just switch gears like…
“来啊 多性感啊
“Hello, all sexy now.
“看我的奶♥子♥ 多漂亮”
“Look at my boobs. They’re all sexual.”
实在是
It’s…
我理解
I get that.
你当然理解
Of course you do.
我喜欢德鲁
I like Drew.
– 得了吧 – 真的
– No. – I do.
我是说 就我对他的了解
I mean, what I know about him.
我不想让我的孩子像我那样长大
I don’t want my kids to grow up like I did.
我有过三个继母
I had three stepmothers.
真是
It was…
– 真是太疯狂了 – 好啊
– It was crazy. – Okay.
那咱们就解决这个问题
So then we need to fix this.
因为德鲁的电池需要充电
Because Drew needs his battery charged.
– 他的电池 – 他的电池
– His battery? – His battery.
他喜欢什么类型的
What kind of stuff is he into?
我看过他的浏览记录
I checked his browser history once,
都是很基本的东西
and it was pretty basic stuff.
比方说
Like?
咋了
What?
是啥 告诉我 我一定要知道 是啥
What? Tell me. I have to know. What is it?
他会杀了我的
He’d kill me.
很奇怪吗 很奇怪吗
Is it weird? Is it weird?
不是 这个 不是
No, it’s… No.
他只是 他上高中的时候
He just, when he was in high school,
在这个小餐馆工作过 他当时在刷盘子
he worked at this diner, and he was washing dishes,
然后那些女服务员会穿那种制♥服♥ 戴着那种帽子
and all the waitresses would wear those little outfits with the hat and…
自此他就一直有这类型的幻想
He’s just always had a fantasy about that ever since.
就这个啊
Oh, that’s it?
– 嗯 – 哦好吧 挺好的
– Yeah. – Oh, okay, good.
– 咋了 – 我也不知道
– What? – I don’t know.
我以为是什么特别邪恶的东西呢
I thought it was something really fucking sinister.
我们 不会的
Us? No.
前段时间我其实还买♥♥过一套
I actually bought one of the little uniforms
这种制♥服♥ 想着 你知道的
a while back, thinking, you know,
我什么时候穿上给他个惊喜
I’d put it on and surprise him.
– 然后呢 – 然后就一直没机会去做
– Uh-huh? – And I just never got around to it.
为啥啊
Well, why?
就是没去做呗
I just didn’t.
然后现在
And now my…
我腿上长了纹 奶♥子♥上长了纹 纹上都有纹
Legs have veins, my tits have veins, my veins have veins.
我的身体活像一个战后国家
I don’t know, my body looks like a relief map
救灾的地图
for a war-torn country.
制♥服♥你还留着呢吗
Do you still have the uniform?
是啊
Yeah.
在哪呢
Where is it?
这太棒了
This is amazing.
让我看看
Let me see.
要馅饼吗
Patty melt?
嗯 不行
Yeah. No.
这衣服给你了
You’re keeping that.
– 哇 – 我的天
– Wow. – Oh, my gosh.
你真的没生过孩子
You have had zero kids.
我们上楼前要关灯吗
Should I leave it on when we go upstairs?
上楼
Upstairs?
是啊
Uh-huh.
– 你逗我 – 才没
– You’re joking. – Mmm-mmm.
等等
Wait.
来啊
Come on.
等等 这是个五十年代的餐馆吗
Oh, wait. Is this a ’50s diner?
我想要符合史实
I want to be period accurate.
不是 就是普通的餐馆
No, it’s just a regular diner.
好吧 那我是个很无礼的服务员吗
Okay. And am I sassy?
不是 就装作一个友好的服务员
No, just be like a friendly waitress
很亲和但话不多
who’s nice and doesn’t talk too much.
– 好的 – 好
– Okay. – Okay.
嗨
Hi, there.
嗨
Hey.
我们应该还不认识
I don’t believe we’ve met.
这是 马洛
Is it… Marlo…
如果你对我们的菜单不熟悉
If you’re not familiar with our menu,
我推荐你尝尝蛋奶
I recommend the egg cream.
什么情况
What’s going on?
没事 德鲁 配合就行
It’s okay, Drew. Just go with it.
我们还有很多精选的糕点
We also have a wonderful selection of pastries,
而且我刚煮好了一壶热咖啡
and I just put on a hot pot of coffee.
好啊
Okay.
我告诉你他喜欢啥
I’ll tell you what he likes.
谢谢
Thank you.
我只是个实习生
I’m just a trainee.
– 嗨艾蒙 – 嗨佐伊
– Hi, Elmo. – Oh, hi, Zoe.
你想和朋友聊聊吗
You want to talk to a friend?
嗯
Um…
昨晚的事不谈谈吗
Are we gonna talk about last night?
不是非得谈
We don’t have to.
– 好吧 – 好
– Okay. – Okay.
挺爽的
It was pretty great.
是吗
Yeah?
是啊 你逗我吧
Yeah. You kidding me?
– 嗨小伙 – 嗨乔乔
– Hey, buddy. – Hey, Jo-Jo.
我梦到了一只骆驼
I had a dream about a camel.
是吗 你在沙漠里吗
You did? Were you in the desert?
不是 我在家里
No, I was in my house.
胡说 你想吃煎饼吗
That’s silly. Hey, you want some pancakes?
– 想 – 好
– Yes. – All right.
咱们来做个米老鼠呗
Should we try and make Mickey Mouse?