塔利（2018）

你不能对我的存在感到自觉 你是的话这些事就没法做了
you can’t be self-conscious of me. This won’t work if you are.
我只是不习惯别人替我做事
I’m just not used to people doing things for me.
就这样
That’s all.
好吧 你就假设我是布雷斯
Okay. Just pretend I’m Brace.
其实 你更像是阿什
Well, you’re more of an Ash.
他是一个信印度教的应♥召♥男郎
He’s this Tantric Indian gigolo.
经常冥想 会说日语
Practices meditation and speaks Japanese.
你好[日语]
Kon’nichiwa.
好吧 我上楼了
Okay, I’m gonna go upstairs.
好的
Okay.
– 和德鲁看部电影 – 好
– Watch a movie with Drew. – Okay.
– 好吧 – 玩得开心
– Okay. – Have fun.
嗯
Yeah.
对了 我可以戴上耳机
Oh, I can put on headphones
如果你们想做点剧烈运动的话
if you guys want to make some noise.
哦不 我们不
Oh, no, we don’t…
我
I’m…
– 我们不用的 – 好吧
– We’re good. – Okay.
喂 晚安亲
Hey, kiss good night.
她明早就不一样了
She’ll be different in the morning.
这话真甜
That’s sweet.
她真的会的 她晚上会长大一点
No, she will. She’ll grow a little overnight.
我们也是
So will we.
嗨宝贝 和妈咪说晚安吗
Hey, baby, say good night to Mommy?
– 晚安 – 晚安
– Good night. – Good night.
嗨
Hi.
我的天哪
Oh… Oh, God.
她手劲真大
She’s got a strong latch.
她像是个藤壶
Yeah, she’s a barnacle.
好 如果她是一个藤壶
Okay, so if she’s a barnacle,
你是一艘船还是一头鲸鱼
are you a boat or are you a whale?
我也不知道
I don’t know.
藤壶会伤害到船 但它们不会伤害鲸鱼
Well, barnacles hurt boats, but they don’t hurt whales.
是嘛
Oh.
如果藤壶附着在鲸鱼上 就是无害的
If a barnacle latches onto a whale, it’s harmless.
就像是一个专性寄生虫 做自己的事情
It’s just this little obligate parasite doing its thing.
她长得像你其他孩子吗
Does she look like your other kids?
嗯
Yeah.
她长得很像我女儿 莎拉
She looks a lot like my daughter, Sarah.
莎拉是什么样子
What’s Sarah like?
她八岁了
She’s eight.
她到了这个年纪
She’s getting at this age
开始对自己非常严格
where she’s starting to be really hard on herself.
这让我很担心 因为对女孩子而言
It makes me nervous ’cause it doesn’t get any easier
事情从此只会变得更难 对吧
for girls, you know?
确实是
No, it doesn’t.
乔纳呢
What about Jonah?
乔纳很棒
Jonah’s great.
我是说 他确实很累人
I mean, he’s exhausting.
我们不是很清楚他到底是怎么回事
We don’t really know what his deal is.
我们去看过三个不同的医生了
We’ve seen three different doctors
而他们能告诉我们的就只有他很不典型
and all they can really tell us is that he’s atypical.
那些奇怪的行为和焦虑他都会有
He’s got all these strange behaviors and anxieties.
我们
We…
我们给他刷身体 像
We brush him like…
我晚上会刷他的身体 像一匹马一样
I brush his body at night, like a horse.
为什么
Why?
我也不知道 有个心理医生告诉我们这应该会减轻他对
I don’t know, this therapist told us it’s supposed to reduce his sensitivities
日常事情的敏感性
to everyday things.
这样
Oh.
我们没钱再去看这位心理医生了
We can’t afford the therapist anymore,
所以我就去油管上看这些视频
so I just watched these YouTube videos
然后自己弄清楚怎么去做
and figured out how to do it.
这叫做威尔伯格擦拭疗法
It’s called Wilbarger’s Brush Protocol.
疗法
“Protocol.”
听起来很正式嘛
Sounds official.
擦出来的屎倒是很正式
Officially shitty.
好吧 你看起来像是个很好的妈妈
Well, you seem like a great mom.
好妈妈们会张罗班级聚会和赌场之夜
Great moms organize class parties and casino night.
她们会烤那种小黄人形状的蛋糕
They bake cupcakes that look like Minions.
所有我没力气去做的事
All the things I’m just too tired to do.
讲真 就连穿好衣服都感觉很累
Honestly, even getting dressed just feels exhausting.
我打开衣柜
I open my closet
然后我就想 “我不是刚做过这个么”
and I just think, “Didn’t I just do this?”
是啊 这就是住在一个太阳日比较短的
Yeah, but that’s the downside of living on a planet
星球的缺点
with a short solar day.
但是木星会更短
Although Jupiter is even shorter.
你就像是一本给不受欢迎的四年级小孩
You’re like a book of fun facts
看的冷知识的书
for unpopular fourth graders.
你是做什么工作的
What do you do?
在一个做蛋白质棒的公♥司♥的人力资源部
Human resources with a company that makes protein bars.
我英国文学学位真的派上了用场
My English lit degree really paid off.
好吧
Okay.
那你想做的工作是什么
Uh, so, what did you want to do?
我不 我是说 如果我有个没有实现的梦想
I don’t… I mean, if I had a dream that didn’t come true,
我至少可以生这个世界的气
I could at least be pissed off at the world.
现在 我只是生我自己的气
Instead, I’m just pissed off at myself.
你很空
You’re empty.
是啊
Yeah.
不是 你这边没有了
No, you’re empty on this side.
她喝完了
She’s done.
– 哦 – 来 给我吧
– Oh. – Here, I’ll take her.
好的
Okay.
嗨 小熊
Hi, little bear.
嗨 小洋娃娃
Hi, little doll.
马洛
Marlo?
嗯
Hmm?
我是来帮你一切的
I’m here to help you with everything,
不只是米娅
not just Mia.
你不做个大修的话是没法解决小部件的
You can’t fix the parts without treating the whole.
好吧 好久没人给我来个大修了
Yeah, no one’s treated my whole in a really long time.
哦
Oh.
好孩子
My baby.
咱们今天会很开心吗
Are we going to have a good day today?
喵
Meow.
你是个小猫咪吗
Ooh, are you a little kitten?
喵
Meow.
什么
What the…
嗨
Hi.
我们带来些点心可以嘛
Is it okay if we bring in treats?
里面没有坚果的
They’re nut-free.
我妈妈做的
My mommy made them.
我想吃蛋糕
I want cupcakes.
这个我偷走了
I am gonna steal this one.
– 不要 – 就要
– No! – Yes.
– 嗨米娅 米娅 – 我也想要
– Hey, Mia. Mia. – I want one.
– 好吧 – 我也要
– Okay. – I want one.
嗨
Hi.
– 哦 – 我是来为那天的事道歉的
– Oh. – I’m here to apologize for the other day.
我带了一个算是橄榄枝的东西
I brought an olive branch of sorts.
实际上是个小蛋糕
Actually, it’s a cupcake,
但谁想要橄榄枝呢 是吧
but who wants an olive branch, right?
抱歉 达拉斯 我只带了一个
Sorry, Dallas, I only brought one.
然后 听着
And, look,
关于乔纳的事 我能理解
about the Jonah thing, I get it.
确实 有时候就是不 就是不合适
You know, sometimes it just doesn’t… It’s not a fit.
你们会找到合适的地方的
You know, you’ll find the right place.
嗯
Yeah.
我们会的
We will.
《我恨规则！》第三章
Chapter three of I Hate Rules!