真实罗曼史（1993）

他们偷走了我的毒品
They snatched my narcotics.
迅速逃离了那里
Hightailed it out of there.
本来可以逃脱的
Would have got away with it.
但你儿子，是个猪头…
But your son, fuckhead that he is…
把他的驾照 落在那死人的手里了
left his driver’s license in the dead guy’s hand.
你看
You know.
我不相信你
I don’t believe you.
这是次要的
That’s of minor importance.
重他妈的要的是，我相信你
What’s of major fucking importance is that I believe you.
他们去哪儿了？
Where did they go?
度蜜月
On their honeymoon.
同一个问题问第二次，我会生气
I’m getting angry asking the same question a second time.
他们去哪儿了？
Where did they go?
他们没告诉我，你先等一等听我说
They didn’t tell me. Now you just wait a minute and listen to me.
我有三年没见克拉伦斯
I haven’t seen Clarence in three years.
他昨天出现了
He shows up yesterday…
带着一个年轻女孩，说他结婚了
with a young girl, saying that he got married.
他来要求…
He asked for
拿些现金，去度蜜月
some quick get cash to go on a honeymoon.
他问我他能不能借500美元
He asked me if he could borrow $500.
我觉得该帮帮他
I felt like helping him.
所以我给他写了一张支票，我们早上去吃了早餐
So, I wrote him out a check. We went to breakfast in the morning.
那就是我最后一次见他
And that’s the last I saw of him…
千真万确
so help me God.
他们没想过告诉我他们去哪儿
They never thought to tell me where they were going.
我也没想起来问
And I never thought to ask.
维琴察先生（意大利语）
Vincenzo, sir.
什么也没有（意大利语）
There’s nothing there.
这可不好（意大利语）
That’s not good.
你看
You know.
西西里人…是说谎高手
Sicilians are great liars.
世界上最棒的
The best in the world.
我是西西里人
I’m Sicilian…
我父亲是西西里说谎者里头的重量级冠军
my father was the world heavyweight champion of Sicilian liars.
跟着他长大，我学会了肢体动作
From growing up with him, I learned the pantomime.
一个人说谎的时候，会做出17种不同的事情…
There are 17 different things a guy can do when he lies…
…来出♥卖♥♥♥他，男人有17种
to give himself away. A guy has got 17 pantomimes.
女人有20种，男人有17种，不过…
Woman has got 20. Guy has got 17. But…
如果你了解它们 就像你了解自己的脸一样
if you know them, like you know your own face…
就能把所有测谎仪器打入地狱，现在…
they would beat lie detectors all to hell. Now…
我们现在做的，是一个“说和透露”的小游戏
what we got here is a little game of “Show and Tell”.
你不想透露给我任何东西，但你什么都跟我说了
You don’t want to show me nothing. But you’re telling me everything.
我知道你知道他们在哪里，所以…
I know you know where they are. So…
告诉我
tell me…
在我做出什么 你躲不过去的伤害之前
before I do some damage you won’t walk away from.
我现在 能不能来一支契斯特菲尔德？
Could I have one of those Chesterfields now?
当然
Sure.
你有没有…
You got a…
火柴？不，等等
match? No wait.
别麻烦了，我有
Don’t bother, I got one.
你是西西里人？
You’re Sicilian, huh?
对，西西里人
Yeah, Sicilian.
你知道
You know….
我读过很多书
I read a lot.
特别是有关历史的事
Especially about things about history.
我发现这玩意儿让人陶醉
I find that shit fascinating.
有这么一个事实，我不知道你知不知道
Here’s a fact, I don’t know whether you know it or not.
西西里人，是黑鬼衍生出来的
Sicilians were spawned by niggers.
再说一次？
Come again?
这
It…
这是个事实，是的，你看…
It’s a fact. Yeah. You see…
西西里人的血是黑色的，从他们的心脏泵出
Sicilians have black blood pumping through their hearts.
如果你不相信我，你可以去看看
And if you don’t believe me, you can look it up.
好几百好几百年前，你看…
Hundreds and hundreds of years ago, you see…
摩尔人征服了西西里
the Moors conquered Sicily.
而摩尔人是黑鬼
And the Moors are niggers.
你看，老早以前
You see, way back then…
西西里人也跟北意大利的黄蜂一样
Sicilians were like wops from northern Italy.
他们都有金发蓝眼
They all had blond hair and blue eyes.
但是呢…
But, well….
后来摩尔人移居过去，然后…
Then the Moors moved in there and…
他们改变了整个国家
they changed the whole country.
他们操了那么多西西里女人
They did so much fucking with Sicilian women.
永远改变了整个血统
That they changed the whole bloodline forever.
就这样…
That is why…
金发蓝眼变成了…黑头发深色皮肤
blond hair, blue eyes became black hair and dark skin.
你知道，这让我惊奇万分
You know it’s absolutely amazing to me…
想想，到了今天，几百年之后…
to think to this day, hundreds of years later…
那个
that…
西西里人…
that Sicilians…
仍然带着黑鬼的基因
still carry that nigger gene.
这东西…
Now this….
不，我在引述历史
No, I am quoting history.
书上写着，这是事实，写着呢
It’s written, it’s a fact. It’s written.
我爱这家伙
I love this guy!
你的祖上是黑鬼
Your ancestors are niggers.
嘿
Hey!
对！对！
Yeah！Yeah!
你的曾曾曾曾祖母，操过一个黑鬼
And your great, great, great great grandmother fucked a nigger.
然后她有了一个半黑鬼孩子
And she had a half-nigger kid.
现在
Now…
这句是不是事实？告诉我
if that is a fact, tell me?
我在说谎吗？
Am I lying?
因为你…
‘Cause you…
你是部分紫茄子血统
you are part eggplant.
茄子茄子茄子
Egg! Egg! Egg!
你是哈密瓜
You are a cantaloupe.
干得漂亮
That was beautiful.
我一直没杀过人…
I haven’t killed anybody…
从1984年以来
since 1984.
去这喜剧演员儿子的公♥寓♥
Go to this comedian’s son’s apartment.
找点能说明他去向的东西回来
Come back with something that tells me where that asshole went.
让我能把这东西从我脸上抹掉
So I can wipe this egg off my face.
弗兰科，怎么了？
他说西西里人是黑鬼生的，唐·维琴察就杀了他
好好收拾这他妈的一家人
Fix this fucked-up family for good.
喂，老板
Hey, Boss.
准备高兴吧
Get ready to be happy.
“大家早上好，洛杉矶6:22，我是KBLU的戴维·佩里”
‘Morning, everybody. It’s 6:22 here now in LA. I’m David Perry at KBLU.
喂
Hello?
弗洛伊德
Floyd.
弗洛伊德
Floyd.
能不能至少替我应一下门？
Can’t you answer the door at least for me?
哦，老兄，我都没听见
Oh, man, I didn’t even hear it.
喂
Hello?
你能不能时不时帮我一下？
Can’t you help me every now and then?
好
Yes.
你打电♥话♥要的约会服务？
You call for a date?
我就知道是你
I knew it was you!
迪克，这是阿♥拉♥巴马，阿♥拉♥巴马，这是迪克
Dick, this is Alabama. Alabama, this is Dick.
很高兴认识你
Nice to meet you!
– 你住这里多久了？ – 嗨，我是阿♥拉♥巴马
– How long have you lived here? – Hi, I’m Alabama.
– 你气色不错 – 这地方太棒了，真好
– You look good! – This is a great place. This is nice.
来，我饿极了，咱们去吃点东西
Come on, I’m starving. Let’s get something to eat.
– 这是谁？ – 这是弗洛伊德
– Who’s this? – This is Floyd.
咱们走，来吧
Let’s go! Come on!
喂喂，我还没跟你们说过呢
Hey. I didn’t tell you guys yet?
那天我试镜《胡克警长》非常成功
I had this really, really good audition for T.J. Hooker the other day.
你要去演《胡克警探》？
You’re going to be on T.J. Hooker?
对，新版《胡克警探》
Yeah, the new T.J. Hooker.
希望好运
Knock on wood.