天堂里的烦恼（1932）

所以我就对自己说：“好了
So then I said to myself, “All right.
“要是他想看看，就让他看吧，那又没什么害处”
If he wants to look at them, let him look at them. There’s no harm in that”.
然后他说：“说‘啊’”
Then he said, “Say ah”.
我就说”啊“，这就是我记得的全部事情了
And so I said, “Ah”. And that’s all I remember.
等我醒来，我的扁桃体还在，但我的钱夹不见了
When I woke up, I still had my tonsils, but my pocketbook was gone.
– 那是很多钱吧？ – 哦，一定是的，男爵
– Was it lots of money? – Oh, it must have been, Baron.
那位绅士住了王室套房♥
The gentleman occupied the royal suite.
253579房♥
Two fifty-three, five, seven and nine.
我想他的名字是…费里巴先生
I think his name is, uh, Monsieur Filiba.
如今你在哪儿都不安全
You’re not safe anywhere nowadays.
男爵，这事我们本来一个字都不该说的
But please, Baron. We’re not supposed to say a word of it.
你不会告诉别人 是我告诉你的吧？
You won’t tell anybody I told you?
– 你可以信任我 – 谢谢你，男爵
– You can trust me. – Thank you, Baron.
旅馆生活就这样
That’s hotel life.
一个房♥间里，一个男人丢了钱包
In one room a man loses his wallet,
而另一个房♥间里，一个男人丢了魂
and in another room, a man loses his head.
拜托，我来的时候就有点冒险了
Please. When I came here, it was for a little adventure,
你今晚玩玩明天就忘掉的小游戏
a little game which you play tonight and forget tomorrow.
但有些事改变了我
But something’s changed me…
并不是香槟
and it isn’t the champagne.
哦，整个事情对我来说是全新的
Oh, the whole thing’s so new to me.
我得对你坦白
I have a confession to make to you.
男爵，你是个骗子
Baron, you are a crook.
你抢劫了253579房♥的那位绅士
You robbed the gentleman in two fifty-three, five, seven and nine.
– 我能放点盐吗？ – 请便
– May I have the salt? – Please.
– 谢谢 – 胡椒粉也要？
– Thank you. – The pepper too?
– 不，谢谢 – 不必客气
– No, thank you. – You’re very welcome.
伯爵夫人，相信我，你离开这房♥间之前
Countess, believe me, before you left this room,
我会把事情全告诉你
I would have told you everything.
另外允许我说一句话，出于内心的爱
And let me say this with love in my heart.
伯爵夫人…
Countess…
你是个贼
you are a thief.
253579房♥的那位绅士的钱包，在你那儿
The wallet of the gentleman in two fifty-three, five, seven and nine is in your possession.
你从我口袋里掏走它时，我非常清楚
I knew it very well when you took it out of my pocket.
实际上，你弄痒了我
In fact, you tickled me.
不过你的拥抱真是甜蜜
But your embrace was so sweet.
– 伯爵夫人 – 谢谢
– Countess. – Thank you.
– 我喜欢你，男爵 – 我为你发狂
– I like you, Baron. – I’m crazy about you.
对了
By the way,
你的胸针
your pin.
– 谢谢，男爵 – 没事
– Thank you, Baron. – Not at all.
上面那颗钻石非常好
There’s one very good stone in it.
几点了？
What time is it?
慢了五分钟，但我替你调好了
It was five minutes slow, but I regulated it for you.
我希望你不介意我保留你的吊袜带
I hope you don’t mind if I keep your garter.
亲爱的
Darling!
哦，亲爱的，告诉我…告诉我你的一切，你是谁？
Oh, now, darling. Tell me… Tell me all about yourself. Who are you?
你记得那个走进君士坦丁堡银行的男人吗？
You remember the man who walked into the Bank of Constantinople…
他又走出了君士坦丁堡银行
and walked out with the Bank of Constantinople?
– 莫奈斯库 – 加斯通·莫奈斯库
– Monescu! – Gaston Monescu.
加斯通
Gaston!
我爱你，我看见你那一刻就爱上了你
I love you. I loved you the moment I saw you.
我为你疯狂
I’m mad about you.
我的小扒手
My little shoplifter.
我的亲亲小扒手
My sweet little pickpocket.
我亲爱的
My darling.
请勿打扰
日内瓦，日内瓦传来消息…
Geneva. From Geneva comes the news…
著名国际骗子，加斯通·莫奈斯库
that the famous international crook, Gaston Monescu,
昨天抢劫了和平会议
robbed the peace conference yesterday.
他实际上拿走了所有东西，除了和平
He took practically everything except the peace.
警方逮捕了他，并没收了所有偷来的物品
The police arrested him and confiscated all the stolen goods,
但他用难以解释的方法设法逃脱了
but he managed to escape in an inexplainable manner.
以上是巴黎警方记者报道
This is the Paris police reporter speaking.
女士们先生们，本节目赞助商为柯勒特公♥司♥…
Ladies and gentlemen, this program comes to you through the courtesy of Colet and Company
世界最著名香水的制♥造♥商
manufacturers of the most famous perfumes in the world.
记住：你怎样说话不重要，你长相如何不重要
Remember, it doesn’t matter what you say, it doesn’t matter how you look.
重要的是你的气味，谢谢
It’s how you smell. Thank you.
柯勒特，柯勒特公♥司♥
Colet, Colet Colet and Company
最佳香水的制♥造♥者
Are makers of the best perfumes
要是你和你的爱人意见分歧
If you and your beloved can’t agree
允许我们来推荐香水吧
Permit us to suggest perfumes
克利奥帕特拉 [埃及艳后] 可爱又魅惑
Cleopatra was a lovely tantalizer
她得靠她的香水小喷瓶
But she did it with her little atomizer
我们让你闻起来像是玫瑰
We’ll make you smell like a rose
巴黎的每个鼻子都知道
Every nose in Paris knows
柯勒特公♥司♥
Colet and Company
好了
Well
我可以肯定，柯勒特夫人
I am sure, Madame Colet,
如果你丈夫还活着
if your husband were alive
这种时候，他做的第一件事就是…
the first thing he would do in times like these…
减薪
cut salaries.
很不幸，吉隆先生，生意上的事让我无聊透了
Unfortunately, Monsieur Giron, business bores me to distraction.
况且，我还有一个午餐约会
Besides, I have a luncheon engagement.
所以我想咱们还是让薪水留在原地吧，再见
So I think we better leave the salaries just where they are. Good-bye.
再见，柯勒特夫人
Good-bye, Madame Colet.
这个，柯勒特夫人，只要3千法郎
This one, Madame Colet, is only 3,000 francs.
哦，不，简直太贵了
Oh, no, that’s entirely too much.
– 那个怎么样？ – 哦，这个，夫人
– How ’bout that one? – Oh, this one, madame.
那要12万5千法郎
Well, that’s 125,000 francs.
可它真漂亮
But it’s beautiful.
我买♥♥了
I’ll take it.
谢谢你，柯勒特夫人
Thank you, Madame Colet.
你好，柯勒特夫人
How do you do, Madame Colet?
再见，柯勒特夫人
Good-bye, Madame Colet.
是，夫人
Yes, madame.
不，夫人
No, madame.
不，夫人
No, madame.
是，夫人
Yes, madame.
不不，弗兰索瓦，我告诉你不行
No, no, François. I tell you no.
你看，弗兰索瓦
You see, François,
婚姻是个美丽的错误
marriage is a beautiful mistake…
是两个人一起造成的
which two people make together.
但和你，弗兰索瓦
But with you, François
我想它不会是一个错误
I think it would be a mistake.
别这么垂头丧气，少校，你不是唯一一个我不爱的人
Don’t be so downhearted, Major. You’re not the only one I don’t love.
我也不爱弗兰索瓦
I don’t love François, either.
夫人两分钟后就好
Madame will be ready in two minutes.
我知道你不喜欢我，少校
I know you don’t like me, Major.
直说了吧，我不喜欢你…极其不喜欢
To be perfectly frank, I dislike you… intensely.
不过，既然我们今晚得互相作伴
But since we have to be in each other’s company this evening…
咱们也许最好还是交谈一下
we might just as well make conversation.
喂，少校，你的回答是？
Well, Major, what’s your answer?
老天在上，老兄，说句话啊
For heaven’s sake, man, say something!
扁桃体
Tonsils.
♪ 多好的一天，集市上多好的一天
What a day what a day for the fair
♪ 多好的一天 微风轻拂
– What a day – Softly on the breezes
♪ 你听见爱的呼唤了吗
Can’t you hear the call of love
♪ 王子迟到了 王子迟到了
– The prince is late – The prince is late
♪ 我们得等待 得等待
– We have to wait – To wait
♪ 他迟到了
He’s late
再见
Good-bye.
你们应该为自己感到害臊
You should be ashamed of yourselves.
你们这种地位的两个人，成天争吵
Two men of your standing always quarreling.
是他先开始的
Well, he started it.
可你是更理智的一个
But you’re the more intelligent one.
– 那倒是 – 那你干嘛还要吵？
– That’s true. – Then why did you do it?
因为我讨厌他，因为我爱你
Because I hate him. Because I love you.
你应该更多自我控制
You should have more self-control.
你曾在陆军服役
You were in the army.
哦，他曾在海军服役